KARD (카드) ‘Pivot’ | Performance | Off The Stage | 4K
thats not only a Performance, thats again an incredible Masterpiece from them, what slays totally, so, put your volume up and dance the night away yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Two pairs of arms wrap around you as you wail, gripping the bodies before you in absolute grief and repentance.
You don't realize it yet, but as a pair of orange and a pair of green look over you, they have now idea what distresses you so.
--
Turns out, that is the theme for the next several minutes.
When prompted what's wrong, you launch into how much damage you've caused, how much pain you had spread. Your parents only stare at you.
Then, you speak of dimensions and wars. They only stare blankly, faces contorted in confusion.
Then, you mention Leo, mention him and- they silence you, stilling your voice with carefully placed fingers on your mouth.
"That's sounds incredible," one says.
"But nothing like that happened," says the other.
Yet, how can that possibly be true? You remember it as clear as day. The power thrumming through your veins. The might of your claws. The poison of him on your soul, as your soul. The anguished screams of your victims your friends. Wait-
"Gongenzuka! He was there! Sawatari, too! The Lancers! Reiji! They can explain-"
"Yuya!" "Wait-"
You are out the door before either parent has a chance to stop you.
--
You were wrong about Gongezuka.
Sawatari, too.
Sawatari just straight up tells you you're crazy. At least, Gongenzuka has enough patience to let you down gently...or maybe that's worse, because even your friend you've known for years doesn't believe you.
You start asking random people about the war, at that point.
You're not brave enough to ask anyone you actually know anymore. Not after Gongenzuka.
Most ignore you. Some stare incredulously. Others mock you.
"Looks like Yusho's son has lost it."
For some reason, that hurts worse. Not necessarily just the insinuation of being crazy, but that people saw you as an extension of your father. You thought you had moved past that. You thought you had proven you were more that.
(Something inside you boils. You crush it without a second thought. It feels too much like-)
By the time Gonegenzuka finds you to drag you home, you're more than willing to go along with him and forget this day. Maybe tomorrow will make sense.
--
It doesn't.
You don't make the same mistake yesterday, running your mouth without a doubt that you will be believed.
Mom asks you about it.
"What happened yesterday?"
You brush it off and smile (a smile that's too wide, too thin; it doesn't reach your eyes), saying that you must have been ill yesterday and dreamt it.
I even dreamt that dad was gone for 3 years.
You let that drop to see how your mother would respond.
She gets an odd look, a strange gazed stare drifting across her face.
"That's silly. Yusho's always been here. He wouldn't ever leave us."
Your mother quickly walks across the kitchen to the living room and brings back a photo album.
It's filled with pictures you don't recognize, from times that never happened. Or did they? Your head hurts.
"See?"
You wonder if she just trying to convince you or herself.
--
Dad isn't any better.
"Why would I leave you? My precious wife and child?"
He says it with such conviction that you almost believe it.
Almost.
Not even to stop a war?
You've rehearsed that line so much in your head, you convinced yourself that it was truth, once you’d found about Fusion and the 2nd You Show School.
(He didn't leave you for nothing. It wasn't on purpose. He had his reasons; he had to have-)
"Fortunately, that never happened. It was just a dream, right?"
You swear you hear your father's voice waver and catch his smile twitch, plastic.
Is that where you learned it from?
...
He's go that glazed look in his eyes, too.
--
The next two weeks are filled with research on you own. You are too afraid to give voice to your thoughts, to the memories that no one holds, but you.
(You do name drop though. Occasionally. Sora. Shun. Dennis. Crow. Jack. Kaito. Edo. You never get a response...not even a hint of a reaction.)
What time not spent at school, the duel school, or other mandatory work, is spent looking up dates, times, and events.
No disappearances.
No attacks.
No Junior Youth Tournament.
In fact, the tournament is coming up, and you have to prepare for it...again.
Nico Smiley had come pounding at the door, hoping to promote the son in place of the retired father.
That's one thing you know that is different. Instead of disappearing 3 years ago, your father simply retired, hoping to focus on his school and family life. From then on, Strong Ishijima was the champion.
(You never duel Strong Ishijima, never revealed Pendulum Summoning to the public. When you do so in a practice duel at the You Show, everyone one was shocked, blown away. There are more students than before, you note.
"Where did you get those cards?" Shuzo hisses, gripping your shoulders.
It hurts.
"No one speaks a word of this," Dad all, but commands.
"It will be your secret weapon for the tournament," Mom whispers, winking.
You don't know what to think.)
In any case, you have to prepare for a tournament you already participated in, have to duel with cards everyone should know about already, but no one does, and deal with the fact that no one will ever believe you, when you say that it's all wrong.
And on top of all that, there's this nagging feeling...like you’re forgetting something important...
Something very important...
And you have no idea what it is.
--
You thinks Shuzo knows. What the missing thing is.
Or at least, his heart does.
You are delivering something to him for Mom, when you see him staring into a room of his home.
(You've let yourself in. You've been over at Shuzo's house so often that you have a house key. That much hasn't changed.)
The room is filled with boxes. A flower pendant is poking out of one of them.
The sight fills your heart with more pain than you could possibly imagine.
Tears roll, and you're paralyzed with pain and agony, unable even to reach for your googles to shield your eyes.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
Wait, what did you say?
Shuzo blinks and turns to you.
"Huh? Yuya? When'd you get it here? Did you just say something?"
(He looks at you with the same glazed look that your father and mother get whenever you reference the three-year absence, but there are tears glistening like dew drops on his face. You don't think he even knows they are there.)
"No-nothing! I just came to give you the thing Mom said you wanted!"
"Oh, thanks," he quips, trembling hands grabbing the item from you.
However, in the back of your mind, you are wondering just what was I apologizing for?
It had never crossed your mind until just now that with all that you remember, there are things that you have forgotten, as well.
And somehow, that's scarier than not knowing anything at all.
--
Getting ready for the tournament plays out almost exactly the same as the first time, right down to duels.
And it's freaking EERIE.
Michio's duel goes off without hitch. Well, almost.
(The words jump out of your throat before you think about what you are saying.
You're alive!
"Well, of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Michio states, one eyebrow raised in an incredulous fashion.
It takes everything in you not to blurt out ‘because you were carded,’ and stick to the script of the duel. But, really, you are happy to see him moving and breathing and not a piece of paper.)
The duel proceeds from that point on like you never said anything different (except for whispers of Yusho's crazy son, but that had been going on since the first day.) Every move is the same as the duel you’ve had before. You could cheat. You know all his plays from beforehand. You could totally sweep him. You have cards from all the duels up to, well, him. (It's one of the few things that stayed the same from the time in your memories that makes you think you aren't crazy.) You could wipe him out in one fell swoop, but you don't. Instead, you play along as best you can, an actor following the whims of an invisible playwright.
(You have to reveal Pendulum summoning to do so. It exasperates Shuzo and the others, but it can't be helped. The media frenzy is just as bad as the first time. Though, now more people say you’re cheating, because you actually remembered how to do it this time, and someone got a look at the cards on your field. No one can do anything to you, though. The cards are legal, so it's allowed. You wonder if Sora will show up after this like before.
He doesn't.)
When you finally come home, you’re exhausted, and the pain in your heart is agonizing.
Everything is so wrong, and you still don't know what you are forgetting, what is missing.
--
The quiz duel is just as annoying the second time around as it was the first time.
No, even more annoying, because, you actually remember all the answers to the questions (and can’t say a thing), and how much you wanted to wring that scrawny little brat's neck and show him his place and-
Breathe.
You win.
You win the duel.
It doesn't feel like a victory.
It feels like you just survived. Like you had just completed a play that was a hair’s breath away from collapsing.
(Battling demons the entire time.)
And now the violent ache is a vicious gnawing hole.
What is missing?
What are you forgetting?
How do you find it when everything is wrong?!
It's really hard to smile now. But, your father's last words to you sing in your heart, and you try to anyway.
(But does that really mean anything when your father is here now? You crush that thought before you can ponder it.)
--
It's Meiru's duel that give you the most hope and the most pain.
My Darling!
Her voices resounds from across the room.
Your head swivels to stare at her with wide disbeliving eyes.
Disbelieving ears.
Disbelieving heart.
Her hands are clasped around her mouth and looks as shocked as you.
(She didn't say it like that before.
She didn't act like that before!
Does she remember?
Does she know?!)
She blinks, coughs, and quickly covers up her trail, trying to get back to the screenplay that is this duel.
It's different, though. She knows it. You know it.
The fortunes are different. Where they once said destruction was imminent, and that you were destined to fall, now they say you are at crossroads. To continue falling or rise up. The change in wording was so subtle that if you weren’t looking, searching, scavenging for even the smallest hints that something changed or that someone remembered, you would have missed it.
Meiru doesn't look into your eyes the entire duel. She looks ashamed. Like she did something wrong.
But, what could she have possibly done? You were the one who...who destroyed everything...almost destroyed everything.
(In a way, her predictions about you were right, just not about the current duel. They extended far past the duel to him, and who could possibly predict that?)
You win this duel too, as expected, with all the dance and fanfare of the first time. (You've gotten good at pretending, you think.) But, just before you leave, Meiru rushes up to you, pulls you by the ear ("Ow!"), and whispers...
Go back to the room with the flower. That's all I can tell you.
Wha-
And suddenly, you’re ushered out of the Divination School with more force than necessary (and with withering glares that make your skin crawl and definitely weren't there before.) However, as you walk back home, you can't help, but feel giddy.
Maybe she remembers.
Maybe she can help you remember the Very Important Thing that you forgot.
After all, she figured out he was there. Before anyone else really.
(Even if he was just an unnamed darkness, then...)
--
The next day, you rush over to the Divination Duel School after class the next day, feet pounding the pavement in your hurry. You almost crash headlong into Gongezuka.
"Ahh! Yuya-"
"Sorry! Gottarun! TalkyoulaterGon!"
You flash Gongenzuka a smile, the first real one in weeks (no acting; no pretending; you don't even realize it), and you are off, not noticing the stunned look on Gongenzuka's face, followed by scrunched brow.
"Yuya..."
--
You really should get used to things being too good to be true.
You are barred from entry into the Unno Divination School and not for lack of trying.
You make past the gate (without getting scared stiff this time. Not many things scare you much anymore actually) and into the building without much fuss. But, when you're inside? Just across the threshold into the school? It's a miasma that crawls over you, choking you from the inside out. Glares upon glares on you, digging into you skin, gouging like knives.
Judging. Blaming.
You are not welcome.
"You are not welcome." The Headmistress echoes.
(How can a person echo a feeling?! But, she does it, staring with cold eyes)
You want to leave. They want you to leave.
...
But, you need answers.
"I'm sorry I came unannounced, but-"
"Leave at once."
"Eh, but I-"
"Say no more. Just leave."
Your face contorts, brow furrowing.
"I haven't even-"
"I know what you want here, and you will not have it. I know that you are searching, but I care not to know why. We will have nothing to do with you,
demon spawn
so you should leave and never return here, unless it is a sanctioned professional duel."
I-i-
"Now LEAVE.
And you do.
Out of the building.
Out of the gate, creaking and aging, shuddering shut behind you.
Away for the stares and the sound of a collapsing star that is you heart.
You forgot. You forgot...
...that if they remember the war, they will remember aftermath.
That if they remember the aftermath, they remember him.
And if they remember him, they remember that you are him, and that you are just as much to blame.
And they are psychics, after all. Diviners. Fortune tellers. They would know more than most. How could you forget you were to blame?
(But, you didn't forget that. You just forgot that having memories would enable others to blame you, too. You got used to nobody remembering that it's your fault. Idiot.)
You flee Unno Divination as fast as you once approached, googles covering the evidence.
Shielding a shattered heart.
Maybe you don't deserve to remember what is missing.
Maybe you just deserve to remember everything else...
As punishment.
--
It's when your lying in bed, eyes dry and heart aching after a dinner that taste like sand and concerned calls from those who can't understand, that you remember Meiru's words. Just barely.
Go back to the room with the flower. That's all I can tell you.
You sit up so fast you almost launch out of bed.
Meiru had said that, but why? What did that mean? Why was that so important to tell him? Did she know that she wouldn't get another chance to tell him otherwise? Knew that his attempt to find her would end in tears? Was that why she looked guilty? And what did that even mean? What room? And what flower? How vague was that? That could be any room with flowering plants?! Hell, there were flowers in the living room right now, and nothing happened in there. So what did she mean? What in the dimensions world you gleam from that?! What could Meiru possibly be tal-
Your train of thought crashes to a stop, colliding with a single memory. Of a father man and room filled with boxes. Of forgotten tears and apologizes for reasons unknown. Of small flower pendant, barely reflecting the light from the doorway.
And once that memory passes, other seemingly random bits fall into place.
Arguments over emptying an unused room, and no one ever getting around to it. Everyone avoiding that particular place in Shuzo's house, and no one ever mentioning it. Discovering strange items that belong to neither Hiragi or Sakaki, all of which somehow find their way into the room with boxes, including a fan that none recognize, but makes both you and Shuzo cringe for no reason. You cried on that day too...
That's the room Meiru was referencing. The same room that showed you that you had forgotten something in the first place... But, are you ready to go back to that place again?
Do you deserve to?
Would it help any?
You clutch the pendant around your neck.
This world is wrong, but it's also free from the damage Leo and you caused.
Maybe you should let missing things stay missing.
Remembering won't get any of it back after all...
--
You have to know though.
You have to know what's wrong, what's missing.
Because maybe, just maybe...if you find the missing thing, you can finally make peace with this off-kilter world, and let sleeping demons lie.
And maybe, finally, move forward with this second chance whether or not you actually deserve it.
So, when you get a letter from Akaba Reiji, you decide that this is your chance to finally settle two things:
1. What is the missing thing, possibly connected to the room with boxes?
And,
2. Does Akaba Reiji, your friend, the duelist prodigy, CEO of Leo Corp, Leader of the Lancers, the guy who dragged you into an interdimentional war in the first place, and son of Akaba Leo, instigator of the war in the first place, remember anything at all about what happened? Or is it truly just you?
(And psychics, but they can also see things normal people can't see. So, you can't really say how much they actually remember and how much are visions. And you can't really go up them and ask either, all things considering...)
You stop by Shuzo's house on the way to LDS.
You have to know.
--
You stand in front of the door, staring at the door knob, fingers quivering just shy of it.
You've been here before.
Well, yeah, you have been here before, but you don't mean a couple days (weeks?) ago.
You mean you've been here before, from the time of your memories, though you are just shy of remembering, the feeling of familiarity so strong that you can taste the memory on your lips.
You could almost say that this room was your own room once, but it wasn't yours. It was someone's though... Someone important.
Someone missing.
With that thought, you clench the knob and force yourself to open the door.
