Discover Top Posts Tagged with #office shit

wish today was saturday

Big Man takes a Big Dump

John was 6 feet tall and 375 pounds. He spent most days just sitting at his desk and eating. His diet consisted of fast food and coke. Each day at the office, he would hit the men’s room at about 2pm when it was less crowded. It was a single stall restroom and John wasn’t a fan of people smelling or hearing his movements.

Yesterday, John had eaten a whole bucket of fried chicken before going to sleep. When he woke up he was only a little bit gassy. He got dressed and made the 45 minute commute to the office. About halfway there, he could feel something brewing in his stomach.

By the time he finally arrived, he needed to unleash right away. It was only 9am which meant the men’s room would be full of guys waiting to unload. He quickly dropped everything off on his desk and made the long walk to the restroom.

When he pushed the door open he saw that there was one on the toilet and one guy in front waiting to use it. John got in line behind him and rubbed his stomach. Soon the first man was done and the second took his place.

John heard every plop that was released since the bathroom was dead silent. While waiting, two more had got in line behind John. So much for a private shit. Finally the second man was done which meant John was next.

He entered the stall and latched the door shut. He gave the toilet a quick glance to make sure it passed muster. His pants fell to his ankles and his belt made a loud clang. He got seated and did a quiet pee into the bowl.

With multiple guys now waiting in the restroom, John knew he would have an audience. He first tried to gently ease his shit out but that soon became impossible. A thunder of gas echoed loudly throughout the bathroom.

Suddenly, a loud crackle commenced, letting everyone else know that John was filling the bowl. He sat red faced as a second wave crackled out of him along with a series of rapid farts. He heard a few of the guys snicker.

He flushed right away but that didn’t help much. The room now stunk. Finally giving up, John released one more booming fart before wiping up and heading out of the stall. Everyone stared at him in disgust while he made his way to the sink. From that day on, John promised himself that he would try to go at home every morning.

#mens room #office shit #office toilet

Stapled to Nirvana

Okay, this time I’m

Going to high first and

Then do my paperwork

#poetry #twcpoetry #writerscreed #spilled ink #goatsmell #office shit #is the worst shit

@i-swear-im-an-adult!

#office shit #dude

Taking a Load Off (fiction)

Mike sat in his office cutting soft farts for the better part of the last half hour. He was stuck on a conference call and was hoping it ended soon so he could unleash his pent up load. He had made the mistake of getting a breakfast sandwich along with an espresso and was now gently massaging his stomach.

After an hour, the call finally ended and Mike hastily made his way to the men’s room. As he was heading there, he felt his stomach clench and knew that he needed a toilet immediately. He bolted into the first stall and ripped his suit coat off. He didn’t bother checking the state of the toilet and at this point, he would’ve shit anywhere.

He dropped his pants to the floor, his belt making a loud clang, as he collapsed onto the bowl. A rush of soft shit crackled loudly into the bowl and Mike sighed with relief. Mike massaged his stomach again as wet farts rattled into thr bowl. Loose liquid shit began passing through his cheeks as he groaned. Finally after 25 minutes, Mike’s bowels finally relented and he took his time wiping up before heading back to his office.

#office shit #toilet story #mens room

Executive Washroom (fiction)

Louis was one of the younger executives with his firm and was often shy and tentative around the higher ups, especially his boss Fred. Shortly after moving up into his new position, Louis was given access to the executive washroom. Louis used this bathroom heavily and regularly, but always made sure to avoid others if possible. His nervousness often gave him an upset stomach and he didn’t want to be remembered as the guy who played a symphony with his ass.

One day, while heading in to make his afternoon deposit, Fred followed Louis in and also took a stall. Fred sat down with a booming fart followed by some crackling. Louis however, sat down with a substantially looser shit to get rid of. His stall echoed with a mix of gas and what sounded like someone squishing mud.

Fred said, “Damn, I haven’t heard a shit that loud in ages!”.

Louis apologized, “sorry sir. My stomach acts up sometimes”, as he let some more loose slop fall into the bowl.

“Don’t worry about it. I used to be like that when I first started.”, Fred answered back, which reassured Louis.

Fred and Louis finished at the same time and wiped up. Both headed back to the office and Fred didn’t mention the incident again.

#office shit #fiction #Toilet story #mens room