#ofmd muppets

[batwynn]

Because we’re good.

(A patron request)

[bulpaa]

I’m not even sure if this is comprehensible.

part 1(?)

[waywarder]

ofmd characters played by muppets, an exhaustively considered post, possibly in multiple parts:

"Which Muppet would be which Our Flag Means Death character?"

First of all, great question. But what do we mean when we ask it?

Are we discussing which Muppet on their own captures the soul of each of our favorite pirates aboard the Revenge? Or are we more interested in a world wherein the Muppets are being called upon to *perform* as these characters, and, therefore, which Muppet is best suited to play which pirate?

I am personally more interested in the latter question. So, for the purposes of this very fun and normal mind-journey, please consider the following scenario: In a post-OFMD world, the Muppets are asked to step up to do, like, a special or a spin-off based on Our Flag Means Death. Who would play WHOM?

Here we go!

Part One: Ed & Stede

I saw a recent assertion that the "main characters" in any Muppet work are always portrayed by human actors, and, therefore, that Ed and Stede should continued to be played by Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby.

I don't have time to get into why this assertion is very incorrect (I mean, I obviously have the time; I'm at a coffee shop on a Thursday morning typing all this up instead of doing my job), BUT I am willing to entertain the thought exercise of including one of, but not both of these actors in the Muppet cast. One of the best Muppet tropes is when a talented and hot actor is swoony and/or horny for a Muppet. (See: the entire Lola Falana episode of The Muppet Show, Taraji P. Henson in Muppets Haunted Mansion, etc.)

So, who do you pick? This is a pretty impossible question, given that Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby both give off pretty effortless Muppet energy. Either one would be great as The Human in the Muppet cast, because I believe neither one would ever condescend to the Muppet performers. Remember, sometimes The Human isn't Charles Grodin, sometimes they're Jason Segel, and they're stoked to be there.

For narrative purposes, to further reflect the Fish Out of Water-nature of Stede Bonnet's story in season one, I think we have to go with casting Rhys Darby as The Human in the Muppet cast. (Don't worry about Taika; this is a Muppet movie, we will find a GLORIOUS cameo for him. Rizzo's not around as much these days, but what I wouldn't give for those two to be buds.)

So, okay, Rhys is still Stede. Which Muppet should play Ed?

Ed is definitely a Chaos Muppet, and he's that special sort that both legitimately revels in the chaos but, as we can't stop screaming about, he also craves softness and belonging exactly as he is. And if we're talking an articulate Muppet with daredevil edges but a yearning, melancholy heart, we are absolutely talking about Gonzo the Great.

(Which is perfect, because yeah, obviously Con should still play Izzy, but let's be real: Rizzo has the range.)

In conclusion, let Rhys Darby swoon over Gonzo. It doesn't even have to be an official OFMD Muppet spin-off; this should just happen.

Obviously, we have many more characters here to consider, but I'm going to attempt to knock a single thing off my Human To-Do List before I return.

[usermcstring-o-numbers]

Stede - Kermit

Ed - Grover (Blackbeard - super grover)

Lucius - scooter

Olu - Dr teeth

Jim - animal

Black Pete - rowlf

Swede - beaker

Frenchie - fozzy

Wee John - Sam eagle

Roach - rizzo

Buttons & Karl - Gonzo & Camilla

Ivan & Fang - statler & waldorf

Mary - miss piggy

Izzy - himself

[bulpaa]

I don’t know what happened. My hand just slipped and suddenly this was in front of my eyes.

[bulpaa]

More muppet stuff. Took inspiration from scenes from Titanic.