#oh dad...

[twinklecupcake]

Me: *on the phone with Dad* “So we’re going to see The Incredibles 2 tomorrow.”

Dad: “Oh, I’m seeing that next week. Finally saw ‘Coco,’ by the way!...I ruined the twist for your stepmom.”

Me: “What.”

Dad: “The first two seconds Hector’s on screen I looked at [mom] and said ‘He’s the real dad.’”

[fragglerockers]

*watching 22 jump street with my fam* Me: you know Channing Tatum is bisexual? Dad: really? But he's married. Me: ...... Stepmom: he and his wife always seemed like such a nice couple!

[lilhaikyuustories]

The Rebel; page 248

[defensivemidfielders]

real madrid rehiring zidane thinking it's going to magically fix everything

[suzie-guru]

Lost a credit card. 

Blew up a car.  

Dad’s trip needs to chill for a bit. 

[greentoothpaste]

You never know until you smoke it

My dad

[neptoontheeight]

when your dad looks suspiciously at what you’re smiling at on the phone and you’re just smiling cz you’re checking all the great disney movies yet to come and he thinks you’re smiling bc you have a boyfriend

[someonewhokindacares]

Oh Dad...

My dad just got really worked up in a conversation he started about the use of swear words (mainly ‘fuck’) used in period dramas because his analogy equating them to "watered-down English curry” and the excessive use of “curry powder in vindaloo” didn't work. Yeah...I didn't understand either which made him become really condescending and get passive aggressive about the fact I don’t like chili and could never understand no matter how much he tried.. (he was still trying at this point) 

I literally laughed hysterically throughout because he literally threw every word he knew into this conversation and wasn't making sense, which obviously made him more annoyed and started getting paranoid and thought “I was thinking he was some weird freak.”

If any of that made sense to you I applaud you. This was out of hand from the very beginning...

 It didn't help he was tipsy/drunk either.