#ohheyles

[sarsaparillia]

i should probs figure out that drabble dump, huh... maybe... mmmm... one chapter for every microfic-thing, but the question would be where to put them--sarsaparillia, or dictionary ink? obvs in one fic, and then like each chapter could be a mini-drabble? idk is that cheating or? i just want them all in one place, easily accessible--i'd have to group them by fandom, maybe... alphabetical order? by fandom name, then by title... yup, that'd be good. okay. now to pick the account... dictionary ink would be dece bc that's where most of them will eventually go, but at the same time, sarsaparillia would be nice because so few people would see them... HRM WHAT TO DO SONYAAAAA LESSSSSSS EMILYYYYYYY HELP ME PIIIIIIICK.

[sarsaparillia]

ugly feelings vomit post about my best friends

This shouldn't come as a surprise.

It really shouldn't.

This is me we're talking about--we all know how disgustingly sentimental I am. And I've written these things before, about the three of you. Thank you notes, I guess, I don't know what else to call them.

You guys kept me alive, you know?

Actually, that's wrong. You keep me alive. Present-tense. I always forget that.

We've only been a unit for, what, two years? Three?

It hasn't been that long. Not really.

But... at the same time... it feels like it's been years and years. It feels like we've braved deserts and gasoline fires and the death of everything we've all ever known, together, the four of us. We've burned bridges, and we'll probably end up burning the world if they give us a chance.

We're a little bit messy like that, I guess. We never really got it right.

I mean, I still remember those fights we had. The really bad ones, where I ended up crying because I was either so worried or so hurt or so... something. The ones where I ended up logging off too fast for anyone to say anything, or when I would call one of you and call one of you and listen to the ringing and just hope to the sky that you would pick up. I was--am--too many feelings in one body. And those fights, they were bad. S, you know it. We all know it. And we've all been on the giving and the receiving end, and you know, we really know how to hurt each other.

Not that we ever mean to, but let's face it, when we mean to hurt, we know where to hit.

(Don't even try to tell me we don't, because I have three years of dirt on you dorks, and I am not afraid to use it. I won't, though, and that's probably why we're still friends.)

But the funny thing is, those fights were the ones that brought us back together. All four of us, we bottle things up. We don't let them out.

Eventually, though, something boils over and the whole thing descends to chaos.

It's only afterwards that we all come back together, and start to fix things. We clean up. Put things back in order. We wait out the storm and then we get to the aftermath.

That's the hardest part, I guess.

Or maybe not.

Maybe the hardest part is the part where a lot of the time, I don't know why you like me. Maybe the hardest part was the start of freshman year, when S was in the worst phase of... well, you all know how that went. Maybe the hardest part is our anger. Maybe the hardest part is trying to comfort each other when we're so far away. Maybe the hardest part is just being separated, period.

We'll fix that, though.

Because we balance. Somehow. I guess I'm Gryffindor enough for all you freakin' Slytherins, or maybe L is right and I somehow am an Airbender i'm not have you met me, and we fill out the elements that way. I don't know.

But I do know that when we're together, we are more than the sum of our parts. I know that we pick up each other's slack. I know that no matter what, we can tell each other anything and not get judged for it.

I know that if I killed someone, it would probably be to protect one of you.

S is right.

LESS is more.

[sarsaparillia]

...............................guys.........................................

my phone........................................................

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help?