Yup, still up.
Once again reminded my brain works like a fucking dog's
I'm having separation anxiety AGAIN
And it's only the beginning. Like. I'll get him back tomorrow and then he's leaving for longer yet on Wednesday. And this on and off for weeks.
That means I won't be able to sleep properly, or work properly, or do my chores properly (rather: worse than usual. I'm not doing any of that properly even when he's there, I never could), or do anything, for weeks. And I hate that I finally got a grasp on it and I hate that he knows that too and I hate that I can't do shit about it even if it's OBVIOUS
But yeah I'm a perfectly functional adult, yeah, why bother trying to get a diagnosis, uh? You got a PhD after all that means you're functional - thanks, shitty therapist I paid 60€/h monthly for two years. Damn useful. She really did say that by the way. Multiple times.
I should sleep. Wish I could have a good cry but I can't even seem to manage that. Urgh.