Ok since you're apparently tall asf (and consider me envious I WISH I could reach my highest kitchen cabinets without a stepping stool) how tall is the ideal trump card? Is 7ft enough height difference or does the werewolf need to be on stilts? 🤣
Also while I'm here, got any favorite HCs for Hans and Pip you'd want to share?
Thank you for the ask!
No need for the envy, I may be able to reach far but scoliosis, chronic backpain and shoulder bones that pop as loud as a faraway gunshot is the price I pay xD
7ft is definitely enough, but 7.22ft (pardon my European ass using Google to convert this 😭) would be like, perfection. I'm a smol bean in the body of a enlarged Fran Lebowitz, I want a giant fucking boyfriend that will have to look down at me when talking. With time I've accepted it will never happen, but still werewolf boyfriends are usually tall af and Hans is no exception, always can dream right?
As for Hans and Pip headcannons, I don't have many and the ones I do have aren't very interesting 😭
Hans is very theatrical, as we know, and I always imagined him not really knowing anything about commanding, fighting, and military stuff in general past firing his guns (and kicking huge explosives without them detonating ig). So if Hans and Pip ended up in a fight Hans would just run around doing backflips and shit while Pip would try to yell at him what to do so he doesn't get hurt. I think it would be great in an AU where he joins the wild geese a bit before the events of Hellsing. I Imagine Hans just rushing head first into a fight, having something blow up in his face and Pip going through all stages of grief before he sees that Hans just turned into mist before the explosion. This one is pretty subversive because you'd imagine Hans being the more serious Captain and Pip being not that good at it (tbf idk what he wanted to accomplish by waisting all ammo and explosive they had when the Hellsing mansion was stormed, my dude if you know the vampires are hiding behind hills just stop spamming till they're out smh)
Not really a headcannon but the fact that they both have the status of captain - cute af, great dynamic, maybe if you disregard the previous point they fight who's the better one.
This headcannon is something that kinda goes for every supernatural Hellsing OC I ever made and Anderson. If both Captains were at the Hellsing manor and Alucard was being a "vampiric asshole" Hans would just decapitate him as some fucked up version of "shut up and go away >: (". Idk why I just find it so fucking funny.
Hans and Pip swap uniforms often. Not much of an explanation for this one, just think it would be cute as hell.
Idk why I feel like Hans would be very shy when he's with Pip around other people, at least for some time he would be the stoic cinder block merging with the background like he is in the anime, but after a bit he would soften up. No smiles in public untill the first month, it's not his fault that he's no whore 😔
Pip is obviously the more social one, so whenever they go anywhere he does all the talking, but doesn't pretend that Hans is just not there, he's just more like "yeah that's me and my mute boyfriend" but he'd definitely jokingly tease him with shit like "c'mon at least smile" or "What? You don't even know sing language now? Mal, mal mal..."
Pip is a rainbow pride flag kinda guy and Hans is a mlm pride flag kinda guy (if you know you know)
"Loup garou" is Pip's pet name for Hans, I swear it's cute but even though I've been learning french for two years I can't provide any examples 😭😭😭
This one is stupid and silly as fuck but, at least to me, the wolf-wolf form, ya know, the giant fucking dog form of Hans from the begging of his fight with Seras? Yeah that one. It's impossible that in it he isn't similar size to Baskerville. I imagine Pip riding him in that form like a horse. Just zooming. Like Alice and Bayard in the live action movie.
If you put Pip and Hans in the same room as Integra and Seras and hit record you would get the best "mlm and wlw roast each other" quotes (who am I kidding, only wlw roasting mlm)
Hans likes to turn into mist to sneak up on Pip, no matter how much and how often this happens he just thinks it's smoke from his cigarette
I can't think of anything else of value rn so this is all I got for now 😭. The next part is nsfw, so heads up.
Because Hans is a werewolf this is kinda inevitable, but in my mind Pip doesn't like the idea of sleeping with Hans in his werewolf form at all. Maybe he warms up to it later tho.
To compensate for that the most Pip does for him is pup play
They're both switches
And best for last
Pip will sometimes just leg cling to Hans like a sloth and that is it. He probably did it as a joke once and now made it a habit for some reason. I know it's not nsfw but this one is so random and idiotic I think it's best to hide it at the bottom KWKWKSSKWK
Now that that's over, thank you for the ask @nuclearforest, you're a treasure and a gift to this fandom
