#old man five

[laurrelise]

and whatever you do, don’t think about how five must’ve had to let the handler treat him when he was fresh out of the apocalypse desperate for human contact and the safety of his siblings

sure, he bit back a little when we see them interact in s1e5 and 6, with his usual snark and defensiveness, but even then, he let a lot of her weird comments and condescending actions slide by because she was his employer again. he was doing what he could to stop the apocalypse and keep his siblings alive.

but even then, he had already figured out the equation to escape. she wasn’t his last option, so he had just a little bit of wiggle room to stand up to her.

what about when he had absolutely no other options if he wanted to have a warm bed to sleep at night? or food in his much too-shrunken stomach?

can you imagine how much worse she must’ve been when she knew that he knew he had nowhere else to turn to if he wanted his siblings back?

and that no matter what she said or did to this poor, desperate, unsocialized man, he wouldn’t have any other option but to let her?

[purpldology]

Bald Five <3333 Hes canonically balding <333

[shoalofglassfish]

I wonder if Commission Five ever turned on the TV in his hotel room and watched his siblings as kids fight people knowing full well he can't go talk to them can't go save them can't go protect them because Five may be in the right time period but he is still so far out of reach

I wonder if Commission Five ever sat in his hotel room right next to the TV and watched one of Allison's movies. I wonder if he'd pause the movie and pretend to talk to her then resume it and pretend she was answering.

I wonder if Commission Five ever bought magazines with Allison and Claire in them and held onto those so damn tight cause that's the closest he could get to hugging his sister and niece.

I wonder if Commission Five ever bought an umbrella academy comic book and felt sick over how fake it was. How it glossed over his siblings pain. He held onto it anyway because it was the closest thing he had to their pictures

I wonder if Commission Five ever saw his teenage self on the news (like after the bank mission) and felt pure unbridled hatred for the arrogant teenager he used to be

I wonder how much it hurt Five to have resources with his siblings readily available unlike in the apocalypse, when Five knew it didn't matter because no lunch box with his siblings faces can ever replace the real thing

[badkitty3000]

What do you think Five does or habit that is soooo old person like even after being stuck in is youngself??? I imagine him does this thing like waking up at dawn sipping coffee, perched outside and staring somewhere like old people do

There is nothing I love more than talking about my favorite old man's habits and daily routines. And 100% he loves getting up early with his coffee and just stares out at nothing 😂

Here are some other random things I headcanon that he does/likes:

Reading an actual newspaper as opposed to the online version. He also likes to do the crossword and sudoku puzzles

Feeding pigeons in the park and/or just hanging out on a bench in silence with other old men

Checking the Weather Channel and letting whoever is in his immediate vicinity know the forecast and chance of precipitation

Searching for the best deals at the grocery store and maybe once or twice getting permanently banned from certain stores because he has gotten into shouting matches with a cashier over an expired coupon

Five is a cat guy and likes to fall asleep with his cat in his lap

Likes to take afternoon naps in his armchair

Watches Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. He heckles the contestants for not knowing the answers

Makes little groaning noises when he stands up or sits down - he doesn't have any pain it's just a habit from being in his old body

Makes comments about "kids these days" while getting weird looks from other oldsters

Loves going to the library and just hanging out, reading a book, or rifling through encyclopedias. He likes the smell of the books and it reminds him of Dolores

Did I miss any? Thanks for the ask! 🥰💖

[radiumjuice]

working on a s4 five headcanon because i can do whatever i want

[eldritchhorrorinducedtummyache]

The Umbrella Academy as textposts 3.5/?

[spiritdancer9000]

Five Hargreeves

First design of him done! Super excited to draw the rest of the cast!

The Umbrella Academy AU

If I Had a Nickel For Everytime the World Ended I would Be Filthy Rich

[antia-calviz]

luther........girl read the room