#old person problems

[chipmunkweirdo]

BRITTANY: Look, Alvin, don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s probably best if you don’t come to the party.

ALVIN 2.0: Let me guess. None of “my kind” is welcome there? Aka “No Nerds Allowed?”

BRITTANY: No, but I don’t think you’ll enjoy it.

ALVIN 2.0: What makes you say that?

BRITTANY: The last party I invited you to.

ALVIN 2.0: What does that have to do with anything?

BRITTANY: You were so tired from rushing to finish your homework…that you sort of….fell asleep on the table.

ALVIN 2.0: I don’t remember that.

BRITTANY: Of course you don’t.

ALVIN 2.0: Can I come if I promise not to fall asleep?

BRITTANY: You’re not gonna last more than fifteen minutes. (Sighs)

ALVIN 2.0: I will prove you wrong!

(Later, at the party.)

BRITTANY: Whooo! It’s almost midnight! This is so much fun! Isn’t it, Alvin? Alvin?….ALVINNN!?

ALVIN 2.0: (snoring loudly while his head’s down on the table)

BRITTANY: (grumbling) I knew it. At least he lasted more than fifteen minutes.

[anonymousleekao3]

Most controversies such as fandom wank and purity culture only come to my attention when other people complain about them.

It's kinda funny how there can be a battle raging one field over and I only ever hear about it if perchance the wind blusters and brings me the distant sound of screaming and the clashing of steel before blowing it away again.

[popjunkie42]

I am HYPED on creativity (wrote a whole one shot and now I can't sleep)

[greenekangaroo]

why does every fucking recipe for coconut rice in the rice cooker always say 'just run a cooking cycle' while my dumb ass has to run my cooker THREE TIMES following the EXACT INSTRUCTIONS I WAS GIVEN oh my god if I have to run this rice AGAIN I am going to fucking kill someone.

[delicateindecisions]

Now I get what my parents felt like when smart phones came out!!

[howstrangethemusicsoundstome]

I really need to start taking the earlier bus. I don't care that I'll be excessively early; the time I'm currently on is when the high schoolers get out and I absolutely hate teenagers.

[golgafrincham]

had to join a work-related discord, which is confusing since i thought that wasn't an approved app, then was invited to a related slack channel. we also have Teams - just not for this project.

how. am i supposed to remember which app to use

[sinharder]

I was playing Sea of Thieves with a Discord rando yesterday and in about 30 seconds of conversation found out I was literally twice his age (18) and also that my screen name is older than him and uhhhhhh someone kill me please