#olive no

[walkwithme-alittlelonger]

bmo just has football aww :(

[ache-of-saint-vick]

In which my dreams go all J-horror

The first one involved me (as a bereaved evil mother, and also the narrator) reporting in falsetto horror as two people rented a wing of my house, whose aesthetic is "grimy post-industrial squalor overlooking a river" or something.

Their first challenge, on moving in, was discovering and disposing of the bodies of my (and/or my daughter's ghost's) victims, which had all been stacked like cordwood in that wing of my house over a period of years. There was a dumpster outside for their convenience.

Said daughter's ghost haunted a second-story room in my house, one door of which opened onto a balcony overlooking a river. Her modus operandi involved grabbing your thigh under the table while you were eating, to set up for one of those horror-movie scenes where you look down and the music builds up to a dissonant crescendo as the monster looks back up at you from underneath. And something about fingernails. That always makes things worse.

I remember waking up in the ungodly hours of the morning and hoping to fall asleep to something else.

[queerrussetpotato]

I can't believe that having a dog eat my dental retainer is legitimately something that's happened to me twice in my life.

[letusbecanadian-blog]

[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us

[Text: Gildumb] ...

[Text: Gildumb] i'm not even going to ask

[Text: Gildumb] also no thanks

[pninaharchive]

remember when u didn't buy Olive those socks

shut the fuck up

[chasteblowjay]

If i had to do life over and couldn't be the same person I would definitely 100% want to be a simple peat farmer bc i don't have the patience for the schooling that studying 2,000 year old naturally preserved bog bodies necessitates so i'll settle for finding them in my daily life of hanging around peat bogs.

[is-snark-a-spider-ability-blog]

text: Shutter, question; is your redheaded lil sis dating that mustachioed ex-football playing senior, aka DumDum? I saw them looking a little sad and a bit cuddly the night he got back, are they a thing?

(Text) .... (/Text)

(Text) What (/Text)

(Text) No, she's not dating anyone. (/Text)

(Text) Is she dating anyone? (/Text)

(Text) She never told me she was dating anyone. (/Text)

(Text) Woah no she's too young to date she's like twelve or something (/Text)

(Text) Do they look like they're dating? (/Text)

(Text) Nah, she'd tell me. (/Text)

(Text) Wouldn't she? (/Text)

(Text) Are we even talking about the same person? (/Text)

(Text) Of course not seeing as she's...too young to date. (/Text)