Hey Hey!
Sooo, here's chapter 4 of my Alastor x fem reader "'Til Death Do Us Part...and Then Some"! Just gonna throw a quick MDNI warning up top, cause this chapter is HEAVY on the smut
As always here is the AO3 Link!
But I'll put the text below the cut as well for those of you who like to just scroll :)
And here are the previous chapters if you missed them!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4- *you are here*
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
CW/TW: Discussion of death, discussion of lobotomy, Allusion to suicide, SMUT: oral & p in v & roughness & bruising and marking, MDNI, allusion to abuse
Chapter 4: Reconnection...
I wrap my arms around Alastor as he carries me across the room, still smiling after his impromptu renewal of our marriage vows. His embrace…his arms around me is familiar in a way that feels nostalgic. A feeling I know, but haven’t known in so long. ‘Decades’ - the spider sinner pointed out earlier.
Alastor doesn’t seem conscious of those decades as he nuzzles the space behind my ear and whispers with static in his voice…
“Are you…tired, Dearest?”
That static-filled pause between his words has my cheeks burning as goosebumps prick up along my neck and shoulders. Alastor chuckles against my skin at the visible response my body gives him. Pulling back a bit, he halts his steps towards the bed. Still holding me close to his chest, but arching a playful brow- awaiting my answer, I realize with a start!
“Oh! Um…No, I wouldn’t say ‘tired’ describes how I’m feeling right this moment…” I say cutting myself off as I hear the way my voice wavers slightly. Alastor notices it too, though, and his grin widens.
“Oh? Cold then, perhaps?” He asks, his tone teasing, as he tightens his grip on me with one arm so he can lift his other hand to trail a single claw-tipped finger down my neck and shoulder, where my inky skin seems to almost ripple in response to his touch.I bite my lower lip as my gaze meets his.
“No, I wouldn’t say I’m cold either…In fact, I feel rather warm…” I manage to murmur as I hold his crimson stare. Alastor grins playfully, and it sets my heart beating a bit faster. I’m half-convinced he can hear my racing heart with the way his fluffy ears twitch.
“Warm, how interesting- you do feel a bit toasty-” He says as he lifts his fingers from my shoulder to rest the back of his hand against my forehead.
“-Perhaps it’s best you lie down, then. Can’t have you coming down with anything, now can we?” He says as he strides the remaining distance to the bed to lay me down on the plush mattress once again. His shadow moves slightly faster, pulling the covers back and then back over me again once Alastor has laid me down. I sit up immediately, huffing indignantly!
“Darling, I don’t think I’m…warm because I’m coming down with anything! Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever even been sick after death!” I say, blushing furiously, as I push the covers back and swing my legs over the side of the bed.
“A small mercy you weren’t granted in life…it seems,” Alastor murmurs quietly, carefully- like he’s studying me as he sits next to me on the bed.
I suddenly feel so small, sitting next to him like this. Where my bandaged feet dangle a good 5 or 6 inches off the floor- his knees bend upwards a bit because, even with his hoof like feet planted firmly on the ground, his legs are still too long to sit without sitting in a bit of a crouch- even on the tall bedframe.
Alastor notices the height disparity and offers a small chuckle.
“It would appear you’re even shorter now as well, Dearest.” He says teasingly, and I laugh as I bump his arm with mine.
“It’s you who’s grown nearly two feet!” I protest as I look up and meet his gaze.
I can see love in his eyes as he watches me laugh, like the curve of my lips is enough to sustain him. Like the sound of my laughter is his favorite sound…like he would truly do anything for me.
I can also see the unspoken question in his eyes that he’s content to let me avoid. Though I know from the way his eyes seem to simmer with curiosity, he’s desperately holding himself back from asking about my ‘illness’ after seeing the way it… flustered me earlier.
Still trying to protect me.
I sigh slightly…I was never any good at denying him.
“You can ask whatever burning question it is that your brilliant mind wants to know now…” I say softly, and his eyebrows shoot up in mild surprise.
“Are you…?” He pauses, as if debating on how to ask me. So, I reach my ink-covered hand towards his and squeeze lightly, reassuringly.
He holds my gaze a moment before his eyes wander to my missing right eye…scouring the various bandages wrapped around my body with a cold and analytical eye.
“You mentioned a ‘cutting edge’ procedure that you didn’t survive earlier… do you remember what it was called?” He finally asks after a beat of silence and scrutiny. I inhale shakily, but nod.
“He called it a lobotomy,” I say as evenly as I can, my eye trained on his face. Searching for some kind of reaction. Anger and recognition flash in Alastor’s eyes as they narrow slightly.
“And… what ailment were these doctors trying to cure you of with such a procedure, Dearest?”
Alastor’s question is slow, deliberate, and careful. His voice is mildly staticky at the edges as if even his words are attempting to tiptoe around the subject.
I find myself unable to halt the bitter laugh that escapes me at the mention of the word ‘ailment’. The sharp, bitter bark of laughter seems to concern Alastor as his brows knit in concern…
“Darling, you needn’t recount-” He begins, but I shake my head at his concern and squeeze his hand once more. I take a deep breath in and out, giving myself a moment to ground myself before I speak.
“To answer your question, I would wager that by the time I was on his table for this particular procedure-” I say with a gesture to where my missing right eye used to be.
“- Dr. Freeman must have diagnosed me with several ailments. Hysteria, Psychosis, Emotionally Impaired… the list seemed to get longer every time that man spoke. And if I’m honest, I stopped caring what all he said was wrong with me towards the end…”
I shrug my shoulders weakly as I drag my gaze back up towards Alastor’s face. He’s still smiling- but it’s strained. His eyes seem to burn with that vengeance that danced in his eyes before when he asked how I’d died. But his voice is even and calm, mild static still cushioning each word.
“And this Dr. Freeman, who thought you mad…did he have a first name?”
For the first time in the decades since I met Dr. Freeman… I almost feel bad for the man.
Because that look in Alastor’s eyes is one I recognize.
It’s the same look he had when asking me about that drunken man who’d been harassing me at work…the one who mysteriously stopped coming by after that conversation.
It’s the same look Alastor had when a shopowner had asked Mimzy not to invite ‘our kind’ to his place of business anymore… and the shop closed down less than a week later.
What’s most distressing…(or is it comforting?) is the look on his face now is not dissimilar from the look on his face moment ago when he vowed to keep me safe…
“Alastor…as much as that man deserves it…I don’t need you to go scouring all of Hell to repay him in kind-” I begin, but Alastor tuts and shakes his head.
“Dearest, I wouldn’t dream of paying him back in kind! For what he’s done, he should pay a hundredfold.” His tone is light, teasing even. It’s only the icy coldness in his eyes that gives away his true intentions.
I frown, shifting slightly next to him. I lift my hand from where I was squeezing his hand, rubbing at the back of my neck instead, and averting my gaze as I sigh and admit,
“Yes…I had a similar thought when I saw him down here several years ago. I was angry and had just received some rather upsetting news, and…well, suffice to say he paid that debt of ‘a hundredfold’. If I’m honest, it might have been a bit more than that…I was in a bit of a mood…”
I trail off, sneaking a sidelong glance at Alastor, trying to gauge his reaction. He blinks in surprise for a moment. Then his smile turns into a bit of a bewildered smirk.
“Still so full of surprises…” he mutters before schooling his features into a look of mild amusement.
“And can I ask…How were you able to do such a thing, Dear?”
I grimace and wave a hand, wrinkling my nose as I protest.
“Oh, Alastor, I’d really rather not go over the details…it was rather gruesome on my part and I-” I turn and meet his gaze head on as I quietly admit, “I’d rather you not see me that way…how terribly vain of me is that?” I ask with a sad sort of smile and a shake of my head.
Alastor’s is still smirking slightly, but he holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. Looking over at him, though, I could swear there’s a glint of something like pride in his eyes, and I roll my eye at the notion.
“Not vain at all, Darling! I merely wished to ensure the man who caused you harm and took such a beautiful eye from this world suffered a fitting punishment… but if you say you’ve done so, I believe you.” He pauses, looking me up and down as he continues.
“I won’t deny I’m curious as to your methods. You know, I’m still just as curious as to how you managed to disappear earlier, too…”
Alastor’s tone is light and inquisitive, his gaze a probing and curious thing as he surveys my inky skin and bandages. I chuckle lightly at his words and nod as I hold out a hand before me.
“I’ll admit, that is one of my preferred tricks…Though it honestly feels more like one of your tricks, perhaps that’s why I like it so much. It’s your ‘invisible ink’, after all.”
Alastor’s eyes alight with recognition, his gaze shifts to my face- eyes widening as he recognizes the color of the ink. The very same shade of dark blue ink he used to pen little ‘secret admirer’ notes in and hide in and on the books at my work… I don’t mention and try not to think of the ink’s more recent role in my life, its ties to my own sins…
Instead, I grin at the recognition in his eyes and wiggle my fingers on the hand stretched out before us, drawing his attention as I allow the heat to leech from my extremities. And as my fingers grow cold, they disappear.
Alastor’s eyes widen, and his gaze darts to mine in a silent request for permission, and I nod. He reaches for my invisible finger tips, eyebrows shooting up again as our hands make contact, and his own fingers disappear as the cold ink of my hands springs to coat him in invisible ink as well. I lean slightly towards him as I quietly explain.
“When I figured out that’s what this body of mine was made of…I could practically hear your voice saying, ‘and with just a little heat’-” I allow the warmth to rush back out to my fingertips and the invisible ink becomes a visible, vibrant blue once more. The ink that coated his hand recedes into my palm.
Alastor’s eyes are alight with understanding and renewed curiosity as he gently turns my inky palm over in his, examining it with a reverence that has my cheeks flushing.
“Mon Coeur… that’s remarkable.” He breathes, smiling softly as he studies my inky skin with renewed fascination.
I try and fail to halt the shiver that manifests as a small ripple along the ink of my skin, rippling outwards from Alastor’s touch. Blushing again at the obvious and very visible effects his touch and his words have on me.
Alastor smirks sidelong at me, dropping my hand to lift a hand to my burning cheeks instead. Raising a playful brow as he brushes a thumb across my cheek- tracing the circle of pink and purple blush there.
“Not entirely made of ink, though, are you?” He says in a staticky whisper, leaning in close enough that his scent of cypress and cinnamon and smoke fills my senses. His eyes dart down my frame and then back up to meet mine. His thumb lingering on my cheek as he speaks.
“Not entirely, no…” I manage to murmur, as I still beneath his touch. My eye goes wide as I catch that underlying hunger he’s hiding behind his genuine curiosity…my cheeks continue to burn, I can feel the flush travel along my cheeks and even my neck and shoulders!
Alastor’s smirk is filled with wicked delight as he follows the warmth, trailing his claw-tipped fingers down my neck and shoulder, stopping just short of the bandages that make up my clothing.
“You mentioned you were warm earlier, Dearest, perhaps it’s because you’re wrapped up like a proper mummy! Allow me to help you cool down? It will give me the chance to satiate my curiosity about the extent of your …abilities…”
Alastor speaks in a husky, static-filled whisper with an absolutely feral grin that has me grateful we’re sitting down…because I know my knees would be wobbling at his request alone!
I can’t look away from that delightfully wicked smile of his.
And I certainly can’t bring myself to deny him either…not when his every word feels like a caress along my skin… Not when I’ve waited and hoped for so long that he might still want me this way…
So I nod and offer a small coy grin of my own as I murmur, “Far be it from me to stand in the way of your curiosity, Alastor…”
Without lifting a finger, I begin to uncoil the bandages that wrap around my frame, starting with the ones that are wrapped around one of my shoulders and slowly traveling lower…
It had taken a while when I first arrived in Hell to discover the bandages were also part of me in this form. Now, however, I can animate and unravel them at will with little more than half a thought… a fact Alastor seems to take note of as he arches a brow in surprise as the straps of material slowly peel away- exposing more inky skin beneath.
I mirror his expression and arch a brow right back at him and ask with mock innocence, “Was there a particular part of my form you were curious to see?” I say, batting my eyelashes for good measure.
Alastor’s answering staticky growl echoes in my very bones and I feel the space between my legs go wet at the sound. The small ebony antlers atop his head lengthen slightly as he slides his hand from my shoulder, up along my neck, til his fingers are dragging along my scalp- tangling in the floating liquid hair there.
“Darling… if you are capable of unraveling all this infernal fabric as fast as I think you are…you had better do so.” His voice is low, and his breath is hot against my skin as he whispers the command against my neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh behind my ear.
A small sound halfway between a gasp and a whimper breaks free of my lips. Biting down on my lower lip, I comply with his command. Stripping each bandage off my body, with the exception of the ones wrapped around the right half of my face.
The fabric uncoils itself rapidly, exposing my limbs first. Alastor groans with approval as his claw-tipped fingers hold my head in place with one hand while his other scrapes up along my now exposed thighs.
I uncoil the bandages in his path as quickly as I can, and he hums approvingly against my neck as his grip settles on my exposed hip, his fingers sinking into the soft skin there, hard enough to leave a mark.
“And the rest of them,” Alastor commands, his voice even and low as he slides his hand from my hair and along my collarbone. I obediently unravel the fabric there too, exposing my breasts to his awaiting palm.
Stripped naked before him in seconds, Alastor pulls back slightly, taking in the sight of my naked form before him. His grin widens, eyes glinting with desire and a possessiveness that has my nipples peaking- pressing against his palm.
He chuckles at my obvious arousal, shifting his hand down to take my nipple between his fingers and squeeze lightly- earning another desperate-sounding noise from me. He tuts playfully.
“Still so beautiful…and so needy too.” He chides, releasing me all at once so that I nearly fall backwards onto the bed! I hardly care…having just heard him call me beautiful has me in a bit of a daze as I prop myself up on my elbows, unable to tear my gaze from him as he rises from the bed and loosens his bowtie…casually tossing it aside as his shadow catches it and sets it on the back of a nearby chair.
“You’ll have to bear with me, Dearest, I still undress the old-fashioned way…” He says playfully as he reaches to undo the buttons of his jacket. His eyes never leave my naked form though…
I tentatively jerk my chin towards his shadow, as he tosses the suit jacket aside and the shadow catches that as well- hanging it neatly.
“Not exactly ‘the old-fashioned way’ altogether with your helping hands, though, is it?” I ask teasingly.
Alastor smirks without a backward glance at the shadow, but nods as he acquiesces, “I suppose that’s true…some things can remain the same though, don’t you think?”
He says as he undoes his belt, sliding the leather off his hips, he extends a hand in silent command for both of mine.
My face heats, but I know what he’s asking for and I oblige.
Extending both my arms out in front of me, I press my wrists together.
Alastor grins as he takes his belt and wraps the leather around my wrists a few times before securing the buckle- locking my hands together.
“Still such a good girl too…it’s honestly almost a bit too much for me, Darling. That unwavering trust and vulnerability of yours. Don’t you know I could do anything to you right now?” He coos as he lifts my arms above my head and leans down over me until my back is pressed flat against the mattress beneath us.
His words make my whole body tremble in anticipation of the vague ‘anything’ he might do to me, splayed out naked before him.
“I know…” I murmur softly, and he grins as he steps back and begins to slowly unbutton his shirt- exposing his lean and muscled chest beneath.
“Do you, though? What’s the first thing you think I might do to you like this, Darling? After having been without you for so long…?”
His voice is full of static, and his words taunt and tease me just as much as his feather-light touches did earlier. My skin ripples outwards from my core, and Alastor’s grin widens as he drops his shirt to the floor, his shadow scooping that up too.
“That was a beautiful response, Darling, but I was hoping you might use your words to reply too.” He teases as he reaches the button on his pants…
My face burns as I struggle to even recall his question through the anticipation of the pleasure he’s dangling before me as he takes an excruciatingly long time undoing the fastenings at his waist before unveiling the hard, thick length of him that was straining the material of his pants.
All thoughts eddy from my mind at the sight of his naked form as he steps easily out of his dropped trousers, and the shadow whisks those away too. Alastor was well-endowed in life…but it would appear it’s not just his limbs that lengthened in death…
Alastor chuckles as he has to physically grab my chin to drag my gaze back to his.
“Come now, Darling, don’t go losing focus already! What am I going to do to you first?” He repeats slowly and clearly, holding my gaze.
I swallow hard, blushing furiously, as I scramble for words that might entice him to give me what I know I wish he’d start with…
“I would …imagine you might be craving being inside me…maybe as much as I’ve missed being filled by you…” I murmur breathlessly, squirming slightly as I try to align my hips with his so he might be tempted to do just that.
Alastor’s eyes darken with a hunger I know my own gaze mirrors right back at him. But he grins savagely as he tuts and shakes his head.
“Such filthy words, Dearest! True as they might be, a gentleman can hardly start by cutting straight to the chase…” He says as he trails his hands up my legs, spreading them, but stopping just short of the pulsing heat between my legs.
I let out a whimpered groan as my hips buck slightly, and he clamps down on them, digging his nails in again hard enough to mark me.
“Darling, honestly, you know I won’t take you without tasting you first…or have you forgotten? Don’t fret, I’ll remind you-” He says with a wicked grin and a flash of his tongue darting out to slide over those razor sharp teeth he now possesses…
I tremble in his hands, but his grip on my hips remains firm as he effortlessly lifts my hips off the bed and leans in to lap up the arousal that’s already practically leaking out of me. A satisfied growl rumbles in his throat and on his lips- causing a delicious vibration against the bundle of nerves between my legs.
I moan at the sensation, and my hips strain against his grip, but Alastor holds me firmly in place despite my squirming. His tongue… God, his tongue! Licking and swirling and tentatively probing my entrance. It’s an exquisite form of torture as he pulls back each time he feels my body tense.
After what feels like it could have been minutes or hours, Alastor pulls back- grinning like mad as he licks his lips.
“You make the most exquisite sounds, Darling, I’m honestly tempted to keep you mewling like this all night…” He says, reaching a hand to absently toy with one of my peaked nipples- eliciting another whimpered wordless plea of a noise from me.
“But…I have been without you for quite some time…and I think you might implode if I tease you much more…” He says as he lightly trails a finger down my sex before sliding it inside me.
My body shudders, the ink of my skin rippling and trembling as he slowly slides that single digit in and out of me at an agonizingly slow pace.
“Alastor! Darling, please, I …ohhh God…Alastor, please…!” I whine, squirming desperately in his grip. His answering grin is nothing short of devilish as he withdraws the finger and licks along the length of it.
“Sorry, Dearest! Just a bit distracted by how divine you taste…but I don’t think even I can deny you when you call for me by name like that…” He says, voice going husky as he shifts his grip on my hips slightly, pulling me to the edge of the bed as he angles the tip of his impressive length at my entrance. But he pauses to smirk up at me first.
“What was that filthy phrase you used earlier…you missed ‘being filled’ by me?”
He thrusts the full length of himself down into me on the word filled, and I could swear I see stars. I’m distantly aware of the shattered gasp that escapes me. Alastor’s answering groan of pleasure is what shatters any restraint I had left, and I feel my release break free- quickly coating him in liquid and adding to the deliciously filthy wet noises of his thrusts.
Alastor’s eyes widen, as does his smile, as he feels my inner walls tremble and clench around him in an unmistakable orgasm. Impressed and mildly surprised at his own handiwork.
“Honestly, Sweetheart, I’ve hardly begun, and you’re already a shaking mess… It’s enough to drive a man mad…” He growls as he digs his fingers into my hip and uses the other hand to hold my bound hands pinned to the mattress above my head.
“I can’t …help it…you…Oh God Alastor…you don’t …you can’t understand…” I whimper out half excuses for the trembling mess I know I am rapidly becoming as he continues to thrust in and out of me. I squeeze my eye shut in a desperate attempt to steady myself, even as his thrusts cause my whole body to bob up and down the length of him!
Alastor’s answering groan is a little more strained, and his thrusts start to stutter in their steady rhythm…the only signs he’s close to succumbing to pleasure as I am.
“How can you still be as perfect… as I remember?” He mutters, his voice strained in a way I haven’t heard in decades… My eye flies open as I realize he’s close to his own release…A small, shattered sound, somewhere between a moan and a giggle, escapes me at the realization.
“Funny…I was…just wondering…the same thing about you…” I manage to pant out in reply as his thrusts begin to rapidly pick up pace. Another low growl at my words as he continues to slam into my sex at an unrelenting and increasingly pleasurable pace. His breathing turns ragged, and I feel another release build in my core at the mere sound of it.
“Darling…won’t you come undone with me? Around me?” He murmurs softly, leaning in to capture my lips in a searing kiss as I do exactly that.
His lips on mine trigger my second release as I feel my inner walls contract and release- spasming around the hard length of him. I feel more than hear his sharp intake of breath as his hips slam into mine, pushing himself deep inside me as his shaft twitches and fills me with every drop of his liquid desire.
For a few moments, we lay there, our heavy labored breaths nearly synchronized.
Finally, Alastor smirks down at me and slowly withdraws. I exhale as he does, shivering slightly at the sudden lack of his warmth filling me. Shuddering again as moments later, some of that liquid warmth of his starts slowly leaking out of me. My eye begins to tear up at the sudden empty feeling that feels full somehow as well…my emotions a whirlwind as my vision blurs slightly at the unshed tears.
Alastor steps back, one hand on his forehead to swipe at the sweat that has built up there, the other on his hip as he takes in the state of me.
“You…you look…” he pauses, searching for the right words. I let out a weak chuckle.
“Like a mess?” I offer, voice wobbling, but Alastor shakes his head, his smirk softening as he reaches for my bound hands and undoes the buckle of his belt- releasing my wrists. He rubs my wrists lightly, holding them in his hands.
Slowly, he lifts my knuckles to his lips, kissing each one softly. Then his fingers are on my cheek, brushing a golden tear away with his thumb.
He pauses at the tears glistening in my eye, brows furrowing as he examines the golden liquid…
“Darling…is this…?” His eyes fly back up to meet mine, and I slowly begin to exit the fog of pleasure as I realize what he no doubt is beginning to understand. I bite my lip, my eye searching his face for a reaction.
Alastor looks at me, then back at the glistening golden tears staining his fingertips.
“You’re crying…” He says, smile stretched thin as he processes aloud.
I nod and murmur, “Yes… But Alastor, I’m alright-” I begin, but he cuts me off.
“Darling, you’re crying…you’re crying ‘Widow’s Tears’!…how can you be…?” He doesn’t finish the question. And I watch as his body stills, all traces of lingering pleasure gone in an instant. Replaced by a sudden cold understanding.
I reach a tentative hand for his, saying a small, silent prayer of gratitude to whoever might hear it that he allows me to take his hand in mine. I squeeze lightly.
“Alastor…? Darling, I promise I’m alright now. I should have been clearer-” Alastor’s smile takes on a surreal, ethereal quality of the quiet madness of a man in immense pain as he pieces it together aloud.
“You said you were detained…was it because of these?” He asks in a hushed whisper, lifting a hand to brush away the new tears now streaming from my eye. I swallow hard, but nod.
“Yes…I didn’t realize such an ability would be a rarity in Hell-” I try to explain again, but Alastor’s broken laugh of disbelief halts my words.
“You’re The Widow…I thought… I thought that was a myth! A clever sales tactic, maybe…but it was-”
I can see him spiralling, preparing to blame himself for what’s happened to me. So I interrupt.
“Alastor! I am your widow…your wife. And I am here now, I’m alright now…” I lift his hand, still clutched in mine, and hold it to my heart, offering it to him in every sense I can.
His smile doesn’t falter, though it does somehow look sad as he wraps his other arm around me, pulling me in tight against his chest.
We stay like that for a while. Skin to skin. His forehead pressed to mine as his antlers shrank back. My tears drying against my cheek and his fingertips.
Eventually, we fall asleep like that…
Wrapped in each other’s arms…
Enveloped in each other’s sins.
To Be Continued...
Edit: I wanna thank @sinmelae028 for yet another gorgeous piece of fan art for a scene alluded to in this chapter!!! Your art and imagination never fail to inspire me to keep scribbling this story!!! Ahhh you made her look so cool, can’t tell y’all how much I revisit this piece just to get in narrator’s headspace a bit!
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