Pairing/Characters: Keonhee x Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: mentions of insomnia, possible grammar errors
Note: yeah, writing this while I'm already writing a long story is not the best thing to do, I know, I know. But since autumn has come and some heavy thunderstorms have happened in my country, I had this story forming into my mind for a while and now I need to let it out before it just becomes just a blurred image. One day I'll stop writing almost exclusively with Keonhee I swear.
I don't have any idea if the story makes sense at the end 😅 It's just the development of an image I had in mind instead of an actual plot developing consistently but I hope you'll enjoy it regardless.
I don't know if I should mention here or in the warnings section but this story is kind of based on my personal experience with dealing with insomnia. Also, I wrote this story while listening to Macroblank's catalogue. Very calm and inspiring music, not gonna lie.
Another lightning flashing the room. The thunder came in a second. The windows were trembling at the loud sound: your house was in the middle of the thunderstorm now. The rain was hitting the window violently, the wind was like shouting through it. The little raindrops weren't doing their little race through the glass like they usually do. They were just slammed through the glass by the wind, waiting to be hitted by another raindrop before making a little river ready to flow.
Another flash, another thunder.
You adjusted the blanket on your shoulders and hugged the huge Miffy plushie you brought with you. You hid his face on the plushie's head.
"Don't look at the window, stay on the couch and it will go away. It's just rain."
Another thunder made you wince. You pressed your face on the plushie, your eyes being a little misty.
"You're not a kid anymore. It's just rain, it will go away. Just close your eyes. What was the lullaby mum sang to me?"
Another thunder. You put your hand on your mouth and pressed it on your lips. No screams. You weren't alone.
In the bedroom, sleeping peacefully like a baby, there was Keonhee. You didn't want to wake him up that night. Not tonight, not once again, for the umpteenth time. Keonhee was aware of your fear of thunderstorms, he always made sure to stay with you every time a weather forecast reported a thunderstorm approaching. Whether it was by taking days off from work or coming early at home, Keonhee has always been there with you with thunderstorms. But when the thunderstorm happens at night, like right now, the situation becomes harder for both of you.
Thunderstorms have been your major source of nightmares since you were little. They always made you kick and talk on your sleep because of it. You even ended up waking up Keonhee one night by screaming in the sleep. You still remember that night: his tired and worried eyes, tears going down your cheeks, a lot of "sorry" mumbled at him, your wincing body, his arms around you and the flashes followed by thunders. Since then, Keonhee stopped to sleep if a thunderstorm happened at night. He spent whole hours by staying close to you, filling you with little kisses and hugs until the rain stopped.
«It's not the rain who scares me. It's the thunderstorm.»
This is what you said to him a lot of times already, hoping for Keonhee finally leaving you alone and going back to sleep. But Keonhee didn't care, he stayed awake with you. It was sweet at first, you were feeling understood for once. But it didn't last that much. Keonhee's eyebags became more prominent as days went by and they became the sign of a burden. You worried about him and his health. Every time he looked more tired than usual, you immediately ran at him, ready to help in any way.
«You don't need to rush, I'm ok. You're more important.»
This is what he told you all the time.
You squeezed the Miffy plushie.
"I'm sorry if I didn't wake you up this time. You need to rest tonight. I'll manage this fear alone. Forgive me, Keonhee"
Another flash, another thunder. This time it didn't come immediately. It was a good sign. Everything would have ended soon. The raindrops were still hitting the window, the wind was blowing weaker than before. You buried your face on the plushie and closed your eyes. Your ears focused on the rain. That repetitive, crispy, sound. It would have been your comfort if only you hadn't this fear. You crawled better on the couch, your knees coming closer to your chest. You would have fallen asleep if an arm didn't touch yours. You turned at the arm's direction. There was a shadow sitting next to you. You wished the room wasn't dark like it was in that moment, but you know who was with you. After all, there were only two people in the house.
Another flash, another thunder.
This time, you jumped on the couch, a scream coming from your mouth. Your head hiding on your hands, the veins on your forehead pulsing, the Miffy plushie disappeared from your lap, you barely heard the sound of it falling on the flour. Your body trembled, your eyes closed, trying to stop new tears coming. The shadow's hand reached your shoulder, the fingers touching it. You winced, making the shadow retracting his hand.
«Keonhee, please, go back to bed.» You weeped.
«I can do this on my own. Just go to bed, you should sleep...»
The boy stared at you. You crawled on the bed, looking smaller than usual now. You wrapped the blanket on your body, trying to shield yourself from him. Keonhee didn't leave. He put his legs and feet on the couch and came close to you.
«Keonhee...» You whined.
The boy tried to wrap his arms around you but you laid on the couch, your arms crossed on your chest and holding the blanket.
"Just leave...please."
But Keonhee didn't leave. He would have never left. He reached you and put one of his arms on your back. You felt his chest slowly coming and laying at you, his face coming closer. You closed your eyes. The last thing you saw was one of Keonhee's arms desperately catching the air, as if he was searching for something on the floor. Your ears weren't hearing anything, except for the rain's sound.
No flashes, no thunderstorms.
It was still raining a little violently, it wasn't the calm, crispy rain you would have loved to hear. But your breathing was already slowing down because of it. Something soft and nappy touched your hands: the Miffy plushie. You hugged it and kept it on your chest. Keonhee's arms wrapped around your waist. His body close to yours, his chin resting on your shoulder: no matter what he wouldn't have left.
«Did Miffy protect you tonight?» He whispered.
You nodded, keeping your eyes shut.
«I did the right choice by gifting her to you, then.»
You felt Keonhee's palms on your pajama's fabric, his fingers playing with it a little.
«Keonhee...» you mumbled.
The tall boy looked at your face. Your eyes were still closed.
«Please, go back to bed. I can stay here alone, just go to sleep.»
Keonhee's face came close to you. His warm breath was touching your skin, his arms were now wrapped tight around your waist, you could have felt his chest moving up and down for his breathing. You opened your eyes: they would have taken some time before getting used to the few lights coming from the streets. You focused on Keonhee's eyes, trying to find some tiredness on them.
«Not this time.» He whispered. His lips gently met yours, making you wince.
"What does that mean? What are you trying to tell me?"
«I want to stay.» You shook your head.
«You don't need to. I made it, see? There is no thunder now. Just the rain.»
«But you'll not go to sleep quickly, am I right?»
You held the plushie with you. Keonhee's question was aiming at another weak spot on you: the thunderstorm's rain. Its violence, its speed, it wasn't something you liked. You weren't scared by it as much as thunderstorms but it was another fear of yours.
«Yeah, and? I still want to stay here. And you should go back to sleep, you have work tomorrow. Please, Keonhee, don't let me beg.»
Silence came in the room. Keonhee was still over you on that couch. You heard his legs moving on it, kicking one of the pillows off, as a way to stay more comfortable. You sighed.
"You really want to stay, uh?"
Keonhee kissed your cheek, making you turn at him. It seemed he was smiling or at least doodling a smile. If only the lights on the street weren't that weak.
«It's my reward. You've been brave, Y/N.» He said while chuckling. That little, deep laugh that always brightens your nights. You missed it. You felt his chin on your shoulder again.
«You still didn't leave...»
«I'll not leave. I'll stay with you and I'll make the rain comfortable.»
Another kiss on your cheek. More movements from him on the couch. You let him do what he wanted. In a matter of minutes, he was spooning you. You felt his chest on your back, one of his legs over yours, his hands over yours, his fingers touching the Miffy plushie, his chin still on your shoulder, his lips giving you kisses on your face from time to time.
«Keonhee, take my blanket. You might get cold if you stay like this.» You mumbled. His deep laugh reasoned in your ears.
«I don't need that.»
A nerve twitched in your head. You freed yourself from his arms and turned at him. You opened your arms and hugged his waist. Keonhee was now covered by your blanket. The Miffy plushie was between your chests. The tall boy laughed again.
«You provided, I see.»
«You refused to go to bed, you refused to bring a blanket with you, you're still here. You forced me to do this.»
Keonhee kept laughing and hugged you. He adjusted his legs once again, making sure to be comfortable on the couch. He caressed your head, messing with your hair a little.
«Have you noticed that you're not thinking about the rain anymore?»
«Only because you're messing with me and not listening.»
Keonhee laughed again and kissed your head.
«If you think so, I can't stop it.»
You didn't respond. You let Keonhee's hands go back and forth your back, adjusting the blanket a little while doing so. You laid your head on the Miffy plushie, one of your ears close to Keonhee's chest. Hearing his heart mixed with the rain's sound was comforting. Was that the comfort Keonhee mentioned earlier? Who knows. The only thing you noticed was that you were relaxing.
Your eyes became heavy to the point you closed them. Keonhee's arms moved on your back for a while before holding your waist once again. More kisses reached your head and forehead.
The rain was still there. The raindrops were still hitting the window. Nothing changed. But it was different. There was comfort now. The comfort the rain never gave you during thunderstorms. The comfort you always searched since you were little.
A/N: Hi, hi, this is surely a strange post from me probably but I'll take it simple: I love the concept of hybrids and I wanted to make my own interpretation of it.
I wanted to write some one shots or drabbles with these headcanons but the idea for a plot didn't came at all 😓 So I decided to write them here. I might probably come back at them and use them for future stories, who knows...
These headcanons are SFW but proceeds at your own discretion. If you don't like the concept of hybrids or you feel uncomfortable at reading something revolving them, don't read this post and don't engage with it.
Seoho-Hybrid Squirrel 🐿️
Seoho has an habit to climb on heights when his social energy is low and he needs to recharge his social batteries. Finding him sleeping on the wardrobe, over some fornitures or even on the chandelier is something you should expect if you went on a party opened to hybrids too.
Apart for this, he loves climbing in general and he likes training to keep his body flexible for it.
He curates his claws. Although they're a need for him for climbing, he doesn't want to scratch you when he hugs you or just holds your hand.
He has fur on his back but it's bristly. He takes care of it and makes sure to soften it enough on a daily basis.
His tail is very fluffy and soft and he let's you touch it and hug it when you want to. He likes when you do it. He also wraps his tail on your waist or leg when he wants you close to him.
He can't go to grocery stores alone when it's spring or summer. He has an habit of buying more than necessary because he wants to make supplies for winter.
Speaking of winter, he becomes more sleepy and prefers being indoors than going outside. He doesn't bear cold that well.
He likes his curly hair since you told him that his ears would have been more cute with it.
Leedo-Hybrid Chick 🐥
He's the most human-like hybrid. Apart for his tail, his feathers are very easy to hide (they're mostly on his back and on his upper arms).
Despite this, he loses a lot of feathers when he molts.
He can't fly but it's not a big deal for him.
Since bird hybrids are considered the weakest, he trained to make sure to fill the strength's gap.
He likes the sun and being warm so he spends the majority of time outside when he doesn't train. By doing so, he tans.
He hates winter because he's at high risk to freeze. It's the time period where he holds you tight and keeps you close to him because he needs warmth.
He's a morning person and he'll wake you up if you don't get up immediately. He'll try every way to wake you up and he'll not leave you until you open your eyes.
Keonhee-Bunny Hybrid 🐇
His ears are very sensitive to loud sounds. You can't even raise your voice or you might scare him. He loves quiet places because of it.
He stomps his feet when he's angry.
When you're sleeping with him, be careful. His legs are very strong and his kicks are dangerous. You might get hurt if he kicks in the sleep.
The fur on his back is fluffy and soft and he let's you touch it every time you want to.
His tail twitches when you cuddle him.
When he's particularly happy or nervous, he jumps a lot.
You'll always find him chewing something because he's scared his teeth might become too big.
Hwanwoong-Tiger Hybrid 🐅
He has stripes on his back and on his arms. He's proud of them and he'll show them everytime he can. He gets happy if you praise them.
Don't touch his tail like at all. He gets nervous or angry if you do so.
He has retractile claws. He mostly doesn't show them unless for defense purposes but if he relax too much they might come out too. Keep that in mind when you're cuddling him.
Despite being short, he can lift people who are tallest and heavier than him.
If he gets nervous, he shows his fangs. If you keep teasing him, he will growl out of frustration.
He purrs when he's happy and he intensifies his purr if he's close to you.
He can't swim and he's afraid of water in general.
Remember, he's a big CAT hybrid; you'll find him sleeping somewhere for almost the entire day. He prefers staying up at night.
Xion-Dog Hybrid 🐩
He's the member with more fur out of the others. And he loves it. He spends hours in the bathroom for the sake of curate the fur on his back and upper arms.
He likes decorating his tail with bows.
He likes wearing collars and he bases his clothing style on them.
Since he spends a lot of time curating his looks, you can't touch him too much or he'll bite you.
He barks. A lot.
His tail shows his true feelings. If he's sulking at you but his tail is waving, he's actually happy to see you around.
He's very protective despite not being strong as much as the others. He'll always look at you and be suspicious of every stranger you approach.
He doesn't like strong perfumes because they disturb his sense of smell.
He always brings ear protection devices with him when he goes outside.
summary: After an innocuous conversation with Hyunjin, Dongju begins to question what he likes to wear and what that means for who he is. What follows is a tumultuous period of internal self-discovery and change. At the same time, Dongju continues to deal with his feelings for Geonhak, and there are a lot of those. His roommates and friends are all very aware of all those feelings, much to his dismay.
a/n: Inspired by this fic on ao3 by gardenjins! Also crossposted on ao3. In the texting sections other characters will be bold and Dongju will be regular text. Fulfilling the clownracha quarterly prompt: new year, nugu
Dongju had plenty of friends his age at college. So many of them were so cool that he had to befriend at least some. Currently, his dearest of those was Hwang Hyunjin. Of course, Hyunjin had xyr own set of friends, and boyfriends and partners of all ages. Dongju was proud to say they had regular contact, so he wasn't surprised when he received a random picture with no other message attached.
He opened it, walking back from class one day, and was surprised to see Hyunjin in a pretty little skirt. Xe was clearly standing in a dressing room and was typing while Dongju stared.
do you think i should get it?
why me specifically
gc is 50/50 split, so you’re the chosen one
i totally think you should, it’s really pretty
that’s what i said!
good financial choices mean nothing when i can have pretty clothes
And that was where the conversation ended for the day. For Hyunjin, at least. For Dongju, the skirt just never left his head. He had never seriously considered wearing a skirt before. In that photo, Hyunjin looked good, and Dongju wondered if he could pull it off like xem. Probably not exactly, because Hyunjin was somehow one of the prettiest people on campus, but in xyr own way.
So, the next day, he went back to their message thread.
hey hyunjin
do you have other skirts too?
ooooooooh yes i do!
good morning to me
Dongju breathed out a laugh, watching Hyunjn type, likely taking longer because xe was trying to type and take photos simultaneously. What followed was about an hour of Hyunjin going through their impressive skirts collection, some highlights from other closets, and a nice long tangent on Changbin's dresses. Dongju only sent a word occasionally commenting on a particularly nice item. Hyunjin always responded with "noted", but he didn't mind.
It culminated in Hyunjin finding xyr own only dress, to which xe assured Dongju xyr getting more soon. The picture immediately took Dongju's breath away. Hyunjin was wearing a gorgeous strawberry dress. Dongju was never interested in the dress while it was a tiktok trend, but suddenly, he understood why everyone else was. The original dress was a little expensive at $500, but Hyunjin found a silhouette they liked for a little less. More than Dongju would spend on a single clothing item in college, but that's what would happen when you had 2 rich boyfriends who loved to spoil you.
Dongju couldn’t stop staring that time, but it felt different in a way he couldn't explain. Hyunjin emphasized that clothing was just pieces of fabric and said little to nothing about your gender, but Dongju felt something different when he looked at Hyunjin spinning in a field in a dress. He both could and couldn't imagine himself doing it at the same time. It was an abstract feeling. Like he couldn’t because he hadn’t ever done it before, and it sort of felt like he wasn’t allowed to, for some reason. But he could, and he wanted to, to feel the freedom that Hyunjin embodied in that photo.
All of that stayed inside for now until he could make a little more sense of it.
"Oh." Dongju breathed.
It felt better than anything he had ever worn, and he couldn't imagine anything else being even better. It felt so right. He spun, and the translucent layer hung long and brushed over his calves softly. Slowly, he looked up at the mirror he knew was there. It's hard because despite the pretty, flowing skirt, everything else about him is still distinctly masculine, or so he thinks. Maybe Hyunjin would say otherwise, but some things weren't meant to be spoken out loud yet. They'd just live in Dongju's head for now.
It was more apparent when it was on him that the gold pieces were meant to be little fireworks. It was pretty. Not a word Dongju thought he would ever be allowed to use to describe himself, but it felt good. He likes being pretty. Inside, his childhood self is clapping and watching with adoration. This could be the beginning of everything that child wanted.
Now, it was different. Because he'd thought that Seoho was pretty and Seoho was a man. He thinks Geonhak is pretty on a daily basis, and Geonhak is probably more secure in his masculinity than anyone else Dongju knew.
"Ju? You all good out there?" Hyunjin's voice came, muffled, through the door.
Dongju mentally curses, he forgot Hyunjin was here, how rude. But it's so easy to just keep staring at himself in the mirror and going over 50 arguments about why this is a good and a terrible decision.
"Yeah! You can come back now." Dongju said.
Hyunjin flings open the door, only stopping it from slamming back against the stopper with the tips of xyr fingers. Dongju would be impressed with xyr reflexes if he wasn't otherwise occupied. And he certainly is, swaying back and forth and feeling it brush softly against his legs. A little bit ticklish but mostly pleasant.
Hyunjin squeals at both a pitch and volume too loud for what is meant to be happening in the dorm today, which is nothing. Dongju hurriedly shushes xem, and Hyunjin apologizes softly but kept xyr eyes on the skirt.
"It's like it was made just for you, Ju. Look at you." Hyunjin lifted xyr eyes to Dongju's face and practically melted at what xe saw.
Dongju was staring at himself in the mirror again, wholly entranced. "I look like myself. I feel like myself. This is incredible."
Hyunjin didn't have any words to answer with, xe just smiled at Dongju through the mirror, glad xe could bring this piece of joy to xyr friend.
"I'm gonna bring you so many pretty skirts. I don't think any of Changbin-hyung's dresses would fit you, though, sorry. His shoulders are stupid wide."
Dongju sighed, but he didn't expect much from that. And the idea of being small, smaller than Changbin is kind of nice. His group of friends was great for that because all but one were either the same height or taller than him. And what Hwanwoong lacked in height, he more than made up for in energy and feistiness.
They did this over and over again. Dongju suspects that not all skirts were recycled hand-me-downs but new gifts, but he didn’t say anything. It's not like he had a receipt or anything to prove it. Just a feeling. Either way, it's nice to be spoiled by someone else without asking. The last time he felt like that was when his parents would bring home the toys he wanted without asking. Or would the times that the others show up with food count? Either way, he felt spoiled in a way that he rarely did.
It happened so often that the others were not necessarily suspicious, just a bit confused. Hyunjin came in with a bag, stayed for an hour, and then left with nothing. No one knew what was in the bag or where they went because Dongju made them disappear.
Internally, he was becoming more confused by the day but said nothing to anyone. He'd noticed being out in public is a little more uncomfortable, and he didn't like people looking at him. Sure, he didn't really before, but it wasn't so visceral and uncomfortable then. There wasn't an apparent reason why in his head, so he just kept moving along and trying to avoid being around many people in public.
The other strange thing is the slight wrongness under his skin when someone calls him a man. At first, he just attributes it to not feeling like a proper adult despite being almost done with college. It lasts a few weeks until he googles it to see if anyone else felt like this and how they deal with it.
The results he got were... different. Reddit post after Reddit post, ranging from one reply to almost a hundred.
I don't feel like a man, but nothing else seems right. What do I do?
I feel uncomfortable when people call me a man or a boy, it feels wrong. Anyone else feel this way?
I have long hair, and someone behind me assumed I was a woman. Why did I like it so much?
Dongju had thought about growing his hair long once, and Hyunjin regularly oscillated between shoulder length and short hair. What if someone mistook him for a woman in public because of his hair? It didn't feel *wrong* per se, but that was probably just because it was a theoretical experience, and he wasn't actually experiencing it. If he was called a woman, he'd definitely be weirded out. Definitely.
The googling continued, and Dongju found other pieces he related to in some people's stories, so he kept looking. However, the more he looked, the more similar the results became.
Trans, egg, trans woman, trans femme, agender, non-binary
He'd heard some of the terms from Hyunjin, who also gracefully explained what they meant personally, but Dongju would never have connected them to his own experience. And he continued to be determined not to.
There was no moment in his childhood where he wanted to try on a dress or makeup or anything like that. Nobody teased him for being different like that. Mainly, they focused on him being nerdy or quiet or something. He never found himself wishing his body was different or that his puberty was wrong.
But... sitting in his room in the dark, Dongju let himself wonder for a little bit. What happened at 2am didn't count, so he ignored it until morning.
What would it be like if his voice hadn't dropped in middle school and stayed slightly higher? Or what if his body was smaller and rounder, rather than the muscle his roommates had encouraged him to build?
Dongju clicked his phone off and slapped it down, throwing both hands over his face as if to avoid looking at his thoughts. Surely, there was no way that he liked some of these thoughts? There was no way he would want a different body or a lighter voice or to be accepted in longer hair and skirts. No, this was just slight sleep deprivation and a sign he should stop staying up so late googling this nonsense. He silently resolved to get a better sleep schedule over the next few weeks, which would solve everything.
Getting more sleep was pretty good for him, but it didn't solve anything in thinking about what he'd be like as a woman. If anything, it was worse because it also started being in his dreams. Some were more like his current self and experimenting, but some looked completely different.
Dongju would wake up and lay in bed, turning the dreams over in his mind until he woke up more and realized what was happening, shaking it away and ignoring it for the rest of the day.
Eventually, it wears him down a little, seeing the same dreams and thinking about the repetitive results he got when googling such personal experiences. There were some queer clubs/groups on campus, so he went out to one of them.
Thankfully, Dongju hadn't met any of the people before, so they just nod and accept him. They don't ask him any questions, and he didn't say much in return and instead just listens. It didn't provide any answers but is a friendly little community.
He went for a few weeks, becoming somewhat of a new regular. It came to the point where they start asking him questions.
Name? Easy. Pronouns? Dongju hadn't properly admitted it to himself yet, but exclusively he/him didn't feel quite correct anymore, and he didn't know what to replace it with either.
"Um... not sure yet. That's why I started coming here. He/they, I guess?" That was the best answer he could get out.
The person, Moonbyul, just nodded and didn't question it. She seemed really chill. He kept going, talking to more and more people and becoming less and less sure of everything. At some point, Moonbyul and another girl named Yoohyeon. He was a little scared at first, and it must have shown on his face because both laughed and assured him they were committed lesbians.
One night, he texts Moonbyul impulsively before he could convince himself not to.
Hey
Hello there
Can you try something out for me?
She/her pronouns. Not in person, just like. A short text
interesting. sure
Dongju is a new friend of mine. I think she's kinda cool
Dongju stared at the text for a while without responding, internally repeating it again and again. I think she's kinda cool. She is. She.
You alive over there?
Oh, um yeah
Just.... yeah
It felt good?
Hah, I guess so
Well, welcome to the club I guess
Lol the club of what? Womaning?
Am I a woman?
Oh god
Hah, I'll let you figure that out
I can't answer it for you
Want me to tell anyone, or are you doing it yourself?
No, I'll do it myself. Just... give me some time
He/they for a while, if you don't mind
Yeah, whatever you need
Just lemme know when
it's gonna be okay
Dongju sends a simple heart before closing her phone and then her eyes. Now what? Seriously, how do people deal with this and then move on? Who should she tell first? What should she tell them? How long should she wait? Now she knew, and there was only so long she'd be able to handle the wrong pronouns now that she knew the right ones and what they feel like.
She picked her phone back up and looked at the time. Damn, no time for a crisis right now, she had an assignment due that night that she'd done hardly any of.
After submitting the assignment Dongju was so exhausted from several hours of adrenaline-fueled work that she was exhausted and went right to bed. It took her a while to fall asleep, but she had no space to think of much.
The next day, she had nothing else pressing, so she spent almost an hour wondering what to do. After she eats breakfast she just sits at the table and stared into space. Her other roommates seem to be out or asleep, so none of them were there to ask what the fuck is going on and she could zone in and out in peace. The clock on her phone ticked over to 11am, and she decided to get out of there before her luck ran out and she had to explain or find some excuse.
When she returns to her room, Dongju is struck with sudden inspiration. Hyunjin! Xe'll obviously be okay with it and might even have some advice on what to do now. It's not a 1-1 exact experience, but it's something, and god knew she needed anything right now.
Hyunjin answered fast, and she was there a 30-minute bus ride later. One I'm here text and a knock later, and Hyunjin is practically bouncing as xe lets them in. Most of their boyfriend roommates were also home, so it was much louder, and Dongju stared wide-eyed. She'd been here before, but usually, it was much emptier and quieter. It made it less likely that someone would hear them talking over all the noise, which was nice.
Minho, Chan, and Seungmin all nod at her, and Jisung and Felix take a break from intense Mario Karting to wave. It was nice because she'd hardly talked to any of them, but they accept her like it's nothing just because she knew Hyunjin so well.
Hyunjin closed the door behind them and plops down on xyr bed, looking at Dongju.
"So, what's up? You never ask me to come over, and it seems serious."
Dongju starts fidgeting with her clothes awkwardly. How the fuck should she do this? Ugh.
"Um... well. Okay, I'm not sure sure yet, but I think I might be uh. Fuck, I hate this. Why is it so hard."
Hyunjin snorts before slapping a hand over xyr mouth to stop anything else. Xe stands up and forcefully pulls Dongju over to sit next to them.
"Unless you say you're like... getting married or something, I'm not gonna judge you. You see the fucking circus of people I live with. You're so normal in comparison to all of that."
It's genuinely a little reassuring to be "normal" for a minute. Dongju had been so caught up in feeling alone and not knowing who to go to that she forgot she was not completely alone. Personally, or just in other people who have these feelings.
"Thank you. I'm... I think I'm trans." She lets it hang in silence for a moment. "But you know, I'm not totally sure! I just had someone call me she over text, and it felt really nice. Yeah."
Dongju waits, staring down at her hands in her lap and waiting for Hyunjin's response.
"Okay, I was waiting to make sure you weren't gonna blurt out anything else. This is so exciting, though, oh my goodness! Am I the first person you told? Other than the friend you texted, who I definitely need to know more about." Dongju nodded slightly, and Hyunjin clapped in excitement. "Ah, I'm so honoured!"
Hyunjin launches xemself forward into a forceful hug on Dongju, who freezes for a minute but melts into it. She wasn't the biggest fan of hugs and whatnot, but she felt like she needed it now. They pull back, and Hyunjin is seriously beaming. It made Dongju a little less nervous, that this wasn't a bad thing and that maybe she'd make new friends or get closer to other friends.
"I get to be your little trans fairy godmother, this is wonderful. So, do you wanna tell me more about all of this? How did it happen, what are you doing now, any of that?"
Dongju laughed nervously, biting the inside of her cheek. "I'm not sure there is much to tell. It was months ago I started looking online cause I didn't feel like a man and thought it was just because I didn't feel like an adult yet. Then I started going to one of those college queer club things. That's where I met Moonbyul, the friend I texted, and she's super chill and open. I just randomly texted her and was like, hey, can you do something for me, use she/her pronouns in a message about me. She did and I don't even know how long I sat there looking at it, and it felt good, so I thought I was actually going insane. Like, no way. Yeah, that was, like, a week ago. And now I'm here."
Hyunjin looked at her with this strange little look on her face, like xe was proud and upset at the same time.
"Oh, my goodness. Little trans egg Dongju, not knowing what's happening. So you said not a man, but do you know what you might be more comfortable with now? Like, are you a girl, a woman, or not quite all the way that way? I just don't wanna say trans girl or trans woman or call you girlie if you're not, you know. And you don't have to have an answer yet! It's only been a week, so we can just keep testing what you like."
Dongju sits momentarily and thinks about it because she hadn't allowed herself to do so thus far. Is she a girl or a woman, or is she closer to some of those other terms she had seen?
She didn't know yet was the honest conclusion she came to, and she tells Hyunjin as much.
"Yeah, that's so fair! You've only known for like a week. So just tell me if I say something weird, or if I say something good!"
Hyunjin's the best person Dongju could've asked for on this journey. Xyr knowledgeable but also accepting and often upbeat. Of course, xe had xyr own serious and sensitive moments, but in general, xyr is just kind of chilling.
She spends another few hours there, just hanging out with one of her good friends, and it's lovely. Maybe she should get out more often, like Seoho said. God forbid she tell Seoho he was right about something, though, never.
As Dongju heads home, she considers when and how to tell her roommates about this. They're roommates and some of her closest friends, so there's no world where she didn't tell them. For now, everything was going perfectly fine. Her marks were good enough to pass, she'd got good friends, and she'd been learning more about herself. What more could someone ask for? Well, probably a whole lot more money, but that's beside the point.
But something had to break eventually, and in Dongju's opinion, it happened in the worst way.
It was another day, another Hyunjin visit.
In the house, they weren't in the habit of busting into other people's spaces, and to be fair, Geonhak did knock first. Unfortunately, the two seconds of warning provided was not enough for Dongju to make any meaningful attempt to hide. Geonhak must be way more flustered than Dongju could have guessed because it took a solid few seconds before he noticed.
His face got all red, and he couldn't stop staring. Dongju would like nothing more than to somehow evaporate. Or turn invisible, or teleport, or literally anything to make Geonhak stop staring like that. It made her feel itchy, and wrong. Even though she knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, it's a piece of fabric.
"Are you gonna say anything? I feel uncomfortable and I'm not even involved." Hyunjin speaks, breaking the tenuous silence.
Dongju couldn't tell if she should thank xem or smack xem. Geonhak flinches like he was hit and starts about 6 different sentences before he commits to one.
"You look good, Dongju. Seriously. But, uh, if my laptop isn't in here, I should go. Have fun."
Geonhak waved awkwardly and then closed the door behind him. Dongju breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Could he have been lying? Sure, maybe. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't say something like that just to spare someone's feelings, and certainly not Dongju's. They'd known each other for too long to pretend like that.
She'd take what she could get because it was nice. Hearing it from Geonhak directly gave her a little confidence boost. Maybe she'd show him more pretty things in the future, if the mere thought of doing so didn't make her want to explode.
"That was good! I've been telling you they won't care. First guy down, and he was the one you cared most about!"
Now it's Dongju's turn to flinch, because she certainly had not told Hyunjin about her crush on Geonhak. She would remember that.
"Who said he was the most important one? Who are your sources?" Dongju raises one eyebrow, trying her best to look suspicious and not nervous.
It did nothing for her, so the effort was really just wasted.
"Oh come on. Whenever I brought up telling somebody you'd always mention him first. Every single time. I'm not that stupid."
Dongju had no counter to that, unfortunately. She simply sighed, then nodded and watched as Hyunjin grinned in triumph.
After the Geonhak skirt fiasco, Dongju decided to move along a little more because clearly, things would come to light whether she wanted them to or not. And Dongju did not like being out of control like that, not about her own identity. So she planned, and she wondered, and she panicked, and she cried a little. Ultimately, she knew she couldn't control her friend's thoughts and reactions and would just have to trust that they would accept her.
"Hey, uh, guys?" Dongju peeked around the door, and all their heads snapped over to her at her voice.
It's clear they're all anxiously waiting, because she gave them almost no information on what was happening. Just that she had an announcement. Geonhak looked a little more relaxed, he must assume he already knew what this is about. If it were any other situation Dongju might have laughed, but she was too stressed about this to even try. He was about to get the shock of a lifetime.
"Okay, first of all, this." She hesitated a moment before stepping out from behind the door.
Hwanwoong is the first one to say anything, "cute!"
Agreements from everyone else ring out after. Geonhak leaned back onto the couch a little bit with a smug smile.
"I already told you I think you look good in this one." He said.
It's true, and precisely why she chose this skirt specifically. Geonhak wouldn't steer her wrong, which gave her peace knowing he would be behind her for this part. The rest of them explode, demanding to know why he got to see before the rest of them. Dongju rolls her eyes, these guys never change.
"It was an accident! Stop all your complaining, my ears hurt." She shuts them up fast, but they still don't look happy. Hwanwoong in particular side-eyes Geonhak and if she didn't want to avoid another argument Dongju might have laughed.
"But you said first of all right? So I feel like there's something else still." Seoho said, turning back to her.
Ah, trust Seoho to pick up on and remember that. Oldest of the friend group, always paying too much attention.
"Yeah." Dongju sighed.
She went over her mental script and the answers for the immediate questions she had a feeling they'd have.
"This is really hard, so I'll tell you when I'm done. Just… wait." She pauses, trying to force the words out of her mouth. "I'm trans. I'm a girl. And if that changes anything between us I'm sorry, but I can't live like this anymore. Hearing 'he' is grating, and being called a man makes me want to claw my skin off. I'm sure you have questions, ask away. Unless you just wanna kick me out right now. Yeah, I guess that's all.."
A few seconds of silence pass as they all process everything she'd said. Geonhak got there first, his face twisting in displeasure.
"We're not kicking you out. If anyone wants you to leave just because of this, I'm telling them to leave, not you."
A few tears well up, but Dongju starts blinking them away, determined not to cry about this in front of them. They all agreed quickly after that, and Dongju couldn't be more relieved.
"It might be hard at first, and I'm sorry for when I say something wrong. But you're still you, and I still love you." Seoho said.
Damn you, Seoho. That did it. Dongju crouched and hunched in on herself, suddenly sobbing almost violently. An explosion of emotion that no one was prepared for. All 4 men close in quickly to try and comfort her, murmuring comforting words. What Dongju is even less ready for is Geonhak petting her hair. It felt so good that she leaned towards him a little, only realizing when her side hits his knee, and she jerks back.
He didn't push it, which Dongju was very thankful for. She could only handle so many emotions at once, and flustered embarrassment would not be one of them. It took a while, and at some point, they all have to sit down to avoid their legs and feet going numb. Eventually, Dongju's tears slow, and she begins to breathe correctly again.
Someone's warmth disappears from behind her, and half a minute later, Keonhee crouches in front of her, a large glass of water in hand. She took it gratefully and downed it, not realizing just how dehydrated all that crying made her.
She did feel a little more clear-headed now. No one was upset, they all rushed to comfort her, and everything was still okay. Nothing is perfect, but things should get a little easier now.
What did not get any easier is having feelings for Geonhak, but at this point, Dongju expects that. She wasn’t even sure if her gender complicates things because she'd never heard of him with someone else, and he didn't talk about it either, at least not with her. And she'd rather fling herself into space than ask him, so she did some information-gathering first. In the process, she learns some harsh truths.
"Oh, are you thinking of finally confessing to him?" Hwanwoong asked.
Alarming statements all around, considering she had not spoken a word of her feelings to him. Lying to Hwanwoong was useless, especially since she was sure her shock was written all over her face already.
"Who told you? I bet it was Hyunjin. I never should have trusted that snake." Dongju bit her lip and contemplates the best method of revenge for this betrayal.
"What? No. I figured it out because when he's not looking, you look at him like he's the best thing since iced americanos. It would be sweet if it weren't so awful."
What if she murders this guy one day because spewing such absolute nonsense should be a crime. Surely, she looked at Geonhak in a completely normal way.
"Like he personally puts the moon up every night. I think it's sweet, but you didn't seem ready to talk about it, so I didn't say anything." Seoho said, staring at her and shrugging.
"This may be the worst day of my life," Dongju declares, and Seoho sputters. "My roommates know I have feelings for this guy, but I didn't tell any of them. What am I doing wrong?"
"Are you always this dramatic? Or does Geonhak just inspire that in you?"
Dongju ignores him in favour of pondering how her life led to this point. If she was so obvious about it, did Geonhak know too? He wasn’t the most observant guy, but it wasn’t like he was completely oblivious. Now, she had to deal with a new layer of nervousness around him, as if she wasn't doing badly enough already.
Despite that, she manages to be reasonable and normal around him, or she assumes. It all crumbles when they're out one day. They're all just walking around together, being menaces and taking up the whole sidewalk. Suddenly, Seoho flinches and sidesteps into Dongju, who yelps and glares. Seoho defends himself very quickly by pointing to the kid attached to his leg, who looked to be on the verge of tears. Geonhak moved so fast, and Dongju took a half-step back in shock.
"Hey, little buddy. My name is Geonhak, what's yours?"
The kid hesitates, clearly heeding stranger danger warnings but too far from any parental figure to say no.
"Hajun."
"Nice to meet you, Hajun! These are my friends. Can we help you find your parents? I bet they're very worried. Where did you see them last?"
"Back there. But they were going that way. I just wanted to look at the cool toys." His eyes start welling up again, but Geonhak is faster.
"Very good! You wanna go up on my shoulders? Then you can tell us about them, and we can all look together."
That dried the tears quickly, and Hajun nodded so fast that Dongju worried for his neck. Geonhak crouched down, and Seoho leaned down to assist Hajun's little legs up. Hajun squeals when Geonhak stands, and he flew up. For a moment, Dongju relived the weightless feeling she remembers as a child. She snapped out of it when they started walking, and Hajun began to talk.
"My mommy is kind of short, and she says one day I'll be taller than her. I'm so excited. But I won't be taller than my dad 'cause he's tall like you, Geonhak-ssi!"
Incredibly cute but not helpful. Many women were short, and plenty of men were tall, like Geonhak. Dongju was hoping that Hajun's parents recognized him and come over because she wasn’t sure that he would be helpful in their search.
"I bet you'll grow tall like your dad, Hajun. What are your parents wearing? Some cool outfit just like you?" Geonhak asked, and thank goodness for him. Dongju didn't know where they'd be otherwise right now.
Of course, Hajun only locks on to the most important part of that message. "You think my outfit is cool? Thanks Geonhak-ssi! I think your outfit is cool, too."
Dongju had to admit the kid had taste. Geonhak had a monochrome outfit on, and Dongju had been staring. A black and white jacket, a white shirt with some indeterminate design, and lethal black skinny jeans. She had tripped several times today because she was staring at his ass. In her defense, it's a nice ass!
"Thanks, buddy. What cool outfits are your parents wearing?" Dongju mentally congratulates Hwanwoong on the seamless transition.
"They're not wearing cool outfits! Not like you, mister." Hwanwoong visibly preened at the compliment, and in Dongju's opinion, it was horrifying. "My dad is wearing his weirdo One Piece shirt, and my mom is wearing her nerdy Sailor Moon shirt. They always argue about which one is better. I think it's dumb cause Naruto is better. Obviously."
"Obviously." Keonhee laughed, and Dongju found herself laughing along, too, amused by this child's certainty about his opinions.
They walk, and they keep walking. Dongju was starting to get worried that Hajun's parents were behind them somewhere or crossed the street to look and that they weren't going to find them. But she didn't say anything, so they just kept going.
"Hajun!" They hear, and they all whip around to find the source.
Two people frantically pushed through the crowd towards them and shouted for Hajun. Hajun himself starts wiggling, and it took quick moves from Keonhee to avoid either Hajun or Geonhak getting injured. Hajun and his parents meet in the middle in a heartwarming moment. His mother looked near crying, clearly frantic about losing her son for several minutes. His father hardly looked any better, but Dongju could see the panic melting away into relief. After a minute or three, they stand and look at the group.
"Thank you so much for helping him. We were so afraid when we looked down, and he wasn't there anymore. I should have been paying more attention." Hajun's mother said.
"No, no, it was my pleasure. He's a very well-behaved kid, you're doing well with him." Geonhak said sheepishly.
"You're very kind, thank you. Okay. Hajun, buddy. What do you say to the kind people?" Hajun's father bent down and asked.
Hajun gasped, bowing to them all. "Thank you, Geonhak-ssi and friends! I had fun."
Hajun stands and beams at them all, and they all look back at him, smiling just as sweetly. Of course, Dongju is drawn to look at Geonhak's smile. He seemed to be smiling the widest of them all, and Dongju would bet 10 bucks that he was already attached to Hajun.
It was devastating, and Dongju is barely holding herself together. She was able to keep it together while searching because that was much more pressing, but now Hajun is safe, and she had nothing else to focus on. The family walks away, talking happily amongst themselves and moving on with their day.
Thankfully no one is paying attention to her, and she had a few moments to pull herself together while they all discussed Hajun's cuteness on a scale from 1-10. Or, she thought no one was looking at her, but she heard her name in the middle of one of her deep breaths. It's a tone so familiar that her eyes snap open and immediately slide over to him. True to form, Geonhak is looking at her, practically staring her down and analyzing her from head to toe. She knew the man better than almost anyone else and still found it intimidating.
"You okay, Ju? You seemed upset." Geonhak asked.
"Of course! Just a little tired and stressed from being surrounded by all these people, you know how it is." Dongju throws on her best little smile and prays it's good enough for him to believe.
It seemed to be, as Geonhak watched her for a few seconds longer, then nodded his head, seemingly seeing what he needed.
"Okay. Let me know if you need a break. We can go to the side, or I can take you home."
Dongju could kiss him on the damn mouth right now, but that would defeat the whole point of her holding her feelings in. Instead, she just nodded, and they kept moving on with their original plans for the day out. They still circle back to Hajun occasionally, talking about how cute he was or how it was good he found them and not some creepy people, but mostly how cute he was. It's mostly Geonhak leading that part of the conversation, and Dongju had to actively and viciously squash down the thought of Geonhak with his own children and what they would look like.
They enter some random store, and a few minutes in, Seoho pulls her over to the side and starts whispering before Dongju could even process what was happening.
"You looked like you were in pain while Geonhak talked about that kid. Are you okay?"
Dongju externally just sighed, but inside, she was crying and about to lose it. Was she really that obvious? Oh, god. Hopefully, Geonhak was too distracted thinking about Hajun and didn't notice. But he was so observant, so he probably did, and thought she was a total weirdo. It was over.
"Dong. Ju. Shut that head up and answer me." Seoho hisses.
"Fine, I'm fine. Typical crisis about how cute he is with kids, no biggie. I just have to pray he didn't notice me being weird." Dongju shook her head.
Seoho waved it off. "Not much weirder than you normally are, it'll be fine."
Dongju is about to ask exactly what the hell that is supposed to mean, but Geonhak decided it is the perfect time for him to appear.
"Why are you two hiding in the corner? You could've told us if you wanna leave." Geonhak tilted his head, and Dongju had to take a deep breath before she said something stupid. It was really a problem.
"Nothing, nothing. Our little Ju is just having some boy problems." Seoho grins wickedly and casually strolls off, leaving Dongju silently plotting how to murder him quietly but painfully.
When she looked over, Geonhak looked... strange. When he saw her looking, he smiled and put on his older brother face.
"Boy problems, huh? You know you can come to me for those. We gotta make sure he's good enough for you." Geonhak said seriously, and it took everything in Dongju's muscles not to react in any of the immediate ways she wanted to.
"Ah.... seriously. You'd like him. He's protective, kind, smart, and funny. Too good to be liking someone like me." Dongju sighed, staring at her feet.
Geonhak made some strange set of offended noises. When Dongju looked up, she saw his accompanying twisted face and knew what was about to come.
"He'd be an absolute fool not to like you! If he's that dumb, then you're too good for him." Geonhak said.
Once again, Dongju had to tamp down the ironic laugh that wanted to jump out. She wishes she could tell him not to be so mean to himself, but she categorically refuses to confess publicly. If she had to do it, it would not be in some tacky clothing store in the middle of the day.
"Thanks. Anyways, not like I'm going to do anything about it. So, if he likes me back then we'll never know."
Geonhak wanted to protest, she could see it in his face, but Keonhee popped up from behind a rack and told him to come look at something. How neither of them saw that man the size of a tree walking over was entirely unknown, but Geonhak smiled awkwardly and shrugged. Dongju laughed a little at him and waved him off.
It hurts to be so close yet so far. Was Geonhak's praise a platonic or, romantic or other type of praise? At least it was genuine, which always felt good, but it made her heart go wild in a way that she shouldn't know if she should be accepting or not. He didn't seem overly bothered by her so-called "boy problems," which told her nothing.
Dongju had always and would always go to her mother for help if she needed something. That bond hadn't broken through time and change, and she loves her mother through all of it.
The first piece of advice is entirely expected.
"Give him food, honey! Everyone loves food, and not having to make it is nice. You've always said that man of yours is like a vacuum for food, and you know he'll appreciate the effort."
Dongju felt herself light up like a fire truck at "that man of yours" and immediately starts whining. It's a good thing she remembered to put her headphones in before this because if anyone else is home, they do not need to hear this. They'd teased her about this enough as is. Her mother laughed and ignored all of Dongju's very valid complaints.
"I've seen that man, and I know you'll get him. Though, you should do it quickly, just in case. Someone else might come along, and he might choose them if he doesn't know you're an option." Her mother said wisely.
Dongju just sighed because she knew, but hearing it from someone else was scary. Sitting back and watching Geonhak fall in love with someone else would tear her apart. If she tried, she'd know it wasn't meant to be and could try to move on.
"Ah, yeah. I know."
"If you know, then why haven't you done it yet, my girl! Make him your man properly."
Dongju's heart warmed hearing "my girl" come so naturally from her mother's mouth. It had taken a bit of accidental slip-ups, but her mother was so proactive that it was over quickly.
"I should do it soon, right? Kick everyone out and then surprise him after the gym or something. Yeah."
"Yes! It'll be perfect, he'll be so hungry, and then you can get out of your own head and talk to him when he's done."
Dongju's jaw nearly cracks at how quickly it drops open in sheer offense at her mother calling her out. She might be correct, but damn, she didn't need to say it like that! Her mother just cackles through the phone and waves goodbye, hanging up before she could get upset. Dongju lets out a short yell and then groans loudly, flopping back into her pillow pile.
After a short moment, a knock came at her door and opened after she called out some strange, probably affirmative, noise. Of course, Geonhak peeked around the corner, smirking in amusement when he saw her body flopped haphazardly all over the blankets and pillows.
"Everything okay in here? Nothing seems broken." He cautiously looked around, searching for anything broken or injured.
"No, I'm okay. Sorry. My mom was teasing me when I called her, and then she hung up before I could get her back."
Geonhak laughed, and Dongju pouted at him until he noticed.
"I love your mom, seriously. Is she gonna come down again soon? It's been a while."
"Why do you like my mother so much! She's gonna adopt you as her own damn son at this rate."
Geonhaks clicked his tongue and shook his head at her. Dongju felt slightly offended by it but let him speak before she ripped his head off. He should have felt lucky that he was so pretty (and kind and funny and-) because Hwanwoong would absolutely not be given that grace.
"You gotta make good impressions on everyone's moms for 2 reasons: they would believe you about anything and give you banging free food." Geonhak nodded slowly, like he'd just told Dongju the secrets of the universe.
He wasn’t wrong, but it was a little lackluster. For now, he lived.
Dongju had planned everything out, and it would convince Geonhak that she was very dateable. Until that confession happened, Dongju's roommates would still have to deal with her rants regularly. She loved them, even if she'd never say it.
Today's victim was Seoho.
"Seriously, dude. Seeing him with that kid permanently rewired my brain, I swear to god." She groans.
Seoho looked at her for a moment. "I don't know how that's possible, given how down bad you were before."
Dongju sits up, mouth hanging open and glaring at Seoho. She flops back into his pillows when he simply raises an eyebrow, silently screaming and kicking her feet.
"1. Rude. 2. It is possible. My brain is losing it 24/7. Do you understand how hard it was not to say something like 'hi, Geonhak! After seeing you with that child, I can't stop thinking about having an apartment with you and seeing you wake up in the morning and you coming home to me after working your day as a teacher!' He'd have me committed to a fucking psych ward. I'd probably deserve it at this rate 'cause what is this."
Seoho opened his mouth to say something, but someone hesitantly knocked at his door before he could. Dongju immediately freezes and looked about halfway to passing out then and there. Seoho stands but waits a minute to ensure she won't be doing that before swinging the door open.
She couldn't see Seoho's expression from there, and there was no time to say anything before he went past the person in the doorway. And who else walks in but Geonhak himself. She couldn’t do this right now, absolutely not. Apparently, she was rooted to her spot by some freeze instinct and possibly some masochistic will to see what he'd say. Assuming he heard what she had said before and didn't just happen to come in.
"So. You wanna live in a cute apartment with me and see my horrible morning bedhead?" Geonhak asked sheepishly, playing with his fingers and not looking at her.
Internally, she wondered how he was acting like the nervous one right now.
"I mean. Right now I'd much prefer going to drown in the nearest body of water, actually." Dongju stared at the ceiling, wondering how her life had come to this point.
"Um, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that. Taking a soaking, drowned body on a date seems like a pretty bad time for everybody."
She had to sit and blink for a good 30 seconds or so just trying to process what that man just said. Surely, he didn't say date. Surely, he just said... something that sounds like date and had a similar meaning but wasn't. She had to sit up and look at him when he said nothing else. He was still fidgeting with his fingers and not looking at her.
"Did you just say date? Like a romantic type of date?"
"Yes. And if you're not going to drown yourself, then I'd like to take your very alive self on one instead. If you want to anyways, we obviously don't ha-"
His nervous rambling gave Dongju the strength and rage to push herself off the bed and stalk over to him.
"How did you hear me telling Seoho that I want you to come home to me and still wonder if I want to go on a date with you?"
Geonhak stayed silent and just took one, then two, slow steps toward her, stopping just far enough away that she could feel his presence.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispered.
She nodded before thinking and stared at him, waiting and not daring to move. He raises his hand and lays it lightly on her cheek before leaning in. Dongju's eyes flutter closed and she stayed in the dark for a moment for him. When their lips touched, he put his other hand on her waist, and all she wanted to feel was more. She couldn't tell him that, but she tried to push a little into his hand anyway.
Their first kiss is short, and sweet, and she pulls back less than a centimeter before going back for more. Her arms feel awkward by her side, so she put them on his broad shoulders. Finally, she got to feel the results of all his workouts instead of just staring longingly. And, presumably, she'd be able to do that a lot more now, too. Delightful.
It still wasn’t enough for her, and Dongju looped her arms around his neck and pushed herself closer, pressing their chests together. Geonhak made a surprised little noise, but it only seemed to inspire him to grab her waist firmer with both hands. Exactly the way she wanted. The half-second pull away to breathe quickly stopped being enough, and Dongju leaned back then laid her forehead on his shoulder.
"Fuck." She breathed, and then giggled a little at her own breathlessness.
Geonhak laughed with her, holding her close. It's perfect. Everything is warm and comfortable, just as Geonhak always had been for her.
✧ Pink Lipstick | fluff, suggestive - 1k
Desc.: In which you buy a new lipstick and asking your boyfriend Seoho for his opinion on it turns into putting its durability to a test…
✧ Sculpture | fluff, suggestive - 0.7k
Desc.: You’re helping your boyfriend Seoho figure out how to best film the statue scene in Oneus’ new MV and it’s very distracting…
*✧･ﾟ:* Leedo *:･ﾟ✧*
✧ n/a
*✧･ﾟ:* Keonhee *:･ﾟ✧*
✧ n/a
*✧･ﾟ:* Hwanwoong *:･ﾟ✧*
Scenarios & Oneshots:
✧ Boyfriend | fluff, high school AU, friends to lovers - 1.6k
Desc.: You’ve been in love with Hwanwoong, a student from the same year as you, ever since you two entered high school. And though so far nothing came of your feelings, you still like to visit him during his dance practice every so often.
*✧･ﾟ:* Xion *:･ﾟ✧*
✧ n/a
*✧･ﾟ:* Reactions *:･ﾟ✧*
Them helping you study | fluff, reaction
You shutting them up with a kiss | fluff, reaction
✧ Oneus all members x gn!reader
✧ genre: reaction, fluff, a bit of humor
✧ warnings: none
Seoho:
now this one here is going to be so helpful
he knows you struggle with studying, so whenever you tell him you have an exam upcoming, he will already be making up a whole study plan in his head
will actually sit down with you and explain every tiny step along the way to you if that’s what you need
won’t rush you but he’ll make sure you get things done
tells you what he thinks is important and what parts you can probably leave out
he’ll also make sure to give you a good structure so you start studying early enough and get the rest you need in between
Leedo:
save him pls
early childhood education major is fully jumping out whenever it becomes clear that you’re struggling with studying
half-heartedly scolds you that you need to pull yourself together and study already
but what he really wants to say to you is that if studying isn’t something you’re good at or enjoy, you can just do the bare minimum to pass lol
he both feels a need to be strict with you and to baby you (it usually ends up being the latter)
not very helpful in the process but definitely good at intervening when the stress becomes so bad that you start freaking out :’)
Keonhee:
pretends to be strict at first with getting you to study but like 5 seconds later he’ll get tired of putting on an act
definitely the type to offer you a kiss for every page you study
when you make it clear to him that that is a way too distracting reward he’s going to deliver you tiny portions of your favourite snacks every now and then
hands them to you like a dealer even when there’s nobody else around just to make you laugh
if you have to study a topic he’s actually interested in he might just sit down and ramble about it to you for a while
him “helping” you study is either going to be actually very helpful or your worst nightmare, there is no in between
Hwanwoong:
another one to bribe you with kisses to get you to study, except he’d just lean in to tease you and then pull away last second
tells you you can have all the kisses in the world after you’re done studying for the day
but for now you gotta focus!!
he won’t actually help you with the studying part though except maybe vaguely give you study tips you already knew dhhdhd
however he’ll make sure you don’t forget to eat three meals a day
will also supply you with snacks and keep you from drinking too much coffee
unless you’re forced to pull an all-nighter
then he will get you as much coffee as you want, to the point you might just start shaking from all the caffeine :’)
Xion:
the second he sees you slacking off he WILL scold you
tells you to focus and gives you his best glare until you get back to work
suspicious even when you’re just going for a toilet break
strictly tells you to keep studying, then goes back to looking at his phone
yeah, he is not going to be more helpful than that
if he realizes that you really need a break however, he will offer to order your favourite food or current craving
(he will make sure it’s delivery food so you don't waste time with cooking and can go right back to studying afterwards)
✧ Oneus all members x gn!reader
✧ genre: fluff, reaction
✧ warnings: none
Seoho:
you can see something’s bothering him when you meet him that day
he tries his best not to show it and to pretend he’s alright (which he isn’t very good at dhhdhd)
and he notices that you’re about to call him out on it, so he begins to ramble about some random topic
so you just sit there, a little caught off guard, but you watch him awkwardly trying to distract you from his bad mood for a few minutes
until you decide it’s enough, and you lean in to give him a kiss
he’s rendered speechless and frozen up as he tries to process what just happened
so you simply kiss him again and as he puts his hand on your waist to pull you closer, kissing you back, he seems to accept that this is simply what you’re doing now
after a while, you part, and you take his hands into yours
“Now tell me what’s up with you.”
finally, he gathers the courage to tell you honestly about what’s bothering him
Leedo:
you were trying to prepare dinner for him to surprise him with after a long day of work
the emphasis here is on trying
because you somehow manage to completely fuck up the dish to the point it neither looks anything like what it’s supposed to, nor very edible
your boyfriend comes home to a mess of a kitchen and you in a panic, because there wasn’t enough time left to try again
instead of at least thanking you for your efforts, he immediately begins to scold you in that way where he does his best to keep his voice soft but you can unmistakably tell that he’s pissed off
and it’s not like you wouldn’t appreciate him telling you what you did wrong and what to watch out for the next time you try cooking this dish, but at that very moment you just really don’t want to hear it
so you kiss him to make him shut up
he’s obviously confused now and he immediately goes over to complaining about how you can’t just do that
however, when you keep kissing him he will give in and relax eventually, and you can convince him to simply order takeout food tonight
Keonhee:
you and your boyfriend had been planning a weekend trip for months
however, when the time of the trip finally comes, he has to realize that he got sick
it’s only a cold, but you decide that it would be smarter to postpone the trip in case his condition gets worse
now obviously he’s frustrated because of that
so he keeps apologizing to you for getting sick and for not being more careful etc etc
like, he feels so sorry that you start feeling sorry too djhdjdx
he rambles on and on about how he really wanted to enjoy this weekend with you, how he wanted to go get good food with you and have a lot of fun and so on
not being able to watch him in this pitiful state anymore, you simply press a kiss onto his lips
he shuts up immediately, and just kisses you back
you tell him that it’s okay and that he shouldn’t beat himself up over it in between kisses, even though you’re sure he already got your message without you having to spell it out for him
and then eventually you just make out until you’re both feeling better
the trip gets postponed by a few weeks, and when you can finally go on your well deserved holiday, he makes sure to make it unforgettable for you
Hwanwoong:
you’re both at his place, currently taking a break from playing a game together and so you’re just lounging on the couch while eating snacks
he’s still talking about the game you just played
that’s when a glance at your boyfriend’s lips moving as he speaks sparks the desire to kiss him
you just want to know what happens and maybe you shouldn’t have been so curious about it
because now that your kiss has interrupted his rambles, he’s turning it into a challenge
he quickly presses a short kiss on your mouth, grinning at you playfully when he pulls back
you’re surprised by his reaction, but you don’t dislike this game he’s starting, so you reach out for his collar and pull him into the next kiss
you give each other playful kisses back and forth, until you’re both giggling messes, foreheads pressed together
“What was that even just now?” you wonder out loud, and Hwanwoong gives you another dramatic smooch
“I dunno. You started it?”
you go back to gaming after that, but now you’re sitting closer beside each other, to the point your upper arms touch (and you can always softly elbow the other in the side to make playing the game properly more difficult for each other lol)
Xion:
you’re out on a date with him and you’ve settled down in a cute café nearby
you’ve known something’s up with him ever since you first saw him that day, but now that you’re all seated, he finally begins to talk
he’s a bit hesitant to complain, but what you get from his rambles is that his brother did something to annoy him, but says Dongju is the annoying one instead
your boyfriend is clearly upset, and usually you can somewhat reason with him, but today he just won’t calm down
even when you try to explain to him that the situation is probably resolved easily if they talk about it again, he wants to hear none of it
however, not wanting to spend the rest of the day with a sulky boyfriend, you figure you should try something else to cheer him up
and so, when he keeps ranting about how unfair he thinks this all is, you get an idea
you lean across the table and you press a feathery light kiss onto his lips, immediately shutting him up
he’s blushing and he’s clearly embarrassed now
struggling to find his words, he eventually just gives up on agonizing over the fight with his brother
instead, he now keeps urging you on to go home sooner during the entire date (you know he just wants more kisses from you in the comfort of his own home)
✧ Oneus Hwanwoong x gn!reader
✧ words: ~1.6k
✧ genre: fluff, high school AU, friends to lovers
✧ warnings: (mentions of reader visibly blushing)
Desc.: You’ve been in love with Hwanwoong, a student from the same year as you, ever since you two entered high school. And though so far nothing came of your feelings, you still like to visit him during his dance practice every so often.
It’s almost 11pm at night, and you’re walking down the hallway of your school. In your hand you carry a white, half see-through plastic bag, filled with goodies you bought from the convenience store in your neighborhood earlier. You’re done with your after-school studies for today, so all that’s left now is going to the place you visit ever so often. You make your way down the stairs, taking one step at a time, and you catch yourself feeling a bit sleepy. Maybe you shouldn’t have come here today after all? Visiting again tomorrow would’ve been just fine, wouldn’t it?
But it’s too late to turn back now anyway. You come to a halt in front of a rather big wooden double door, decorated with milky glass in the middle, and you hear loud music playing on the other side. As always, a slight nervousness overcomes you as you reach for the handle, and your heart beats a little faster when you open one of the door wings, stepping inside carefully. However, all those anxious feelings fade in the blink of an eye when you see him - in the middle of the hall, moving his small body to the beat perfectly in graceful motions. He swiftly takes one foot off the ground, seemingly floating across the floor, before he spins and crouches down, finishing the choreography there. A huge smile sits on your lips now, and when you set down the bag besides a wall and the song comes to an end, you clap your hands. The boy, seemingly startled by your presence, looks over his shoulder with big eyes, and as soon as he registers you’re there, he lets out a deep breath, putting his hand on his heart.
“You startled me, Y/N!”, he shouts at you over the intro of the next song as he lifts his body up into a standing position. Then he rushes over to the radio, pausing the song on his phone.
“Sorry, Woong,” you apologize with a chuckle. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” The boy walks over to you now, grabbing his towel on the way and wiping his face with it once. Still you see the sweat on his forehead and on his neck, telling you he must’ve been practicing for quite a while now. “I brought snacks,” you say and reach for the plastic bag, holding it out to him. The sparkle in his big eyes upon taking the bag from you and glancing inside makes you assume he’s probably hungry. He reaches for a sweet drink first of all.
“Do you want this?”
“I don’t mind,” you answer. “I like both.” He fishes out a second drink in a different colored can, and you open them, clanking them together like glasses before each taking a sip.
“Whoa, I needed this!” Hwanwoong exclaims as he throws back his head, grinning at the ceiling for a while. You can’t but think of the view as funny, and while he’s still in his own world, you take out a bag of snacks and open it. Taking out a biscuit, you pop it into his mouth, tearing him out of his daze. As he looks at you and laughs, the sweet almost escapes him, but he reacts quickly and catches it with his hand, shoving it back into his mouth as if nothing had happened. You shake your head at him as you see a blush creeping onto his cheeks, and for a moment you catch yourself thinking about how much you adore this boy. No, I shouldn’t think like that, you scold yourself in your mind. He doesn’t feel that way about me… You involuntarily think back to the day you confessed to him. It was your first year in high school and it was summer. Even in the shade the heat was unbearable, so after classes almost everyone fled somewhere cooler. Except for you. You waited in front of the parallel class all the way down the hallway of the first-years, and when he finally came out with some of his friends, you made eye contact. He had greeted you cheerfully back then, but soon caught onto you having something to talk about, because you were more silent than usual. So eventually you brought him with you to a more secluded space inside the school building, and after gathering up your courage you said the words. I love you - they still ring in your ears when you think back to that day, and his helpless expression still lingers in your mind. He obviously didn’t know how to react, but eventually he managed to say that he doesn’t feel that way about you. You were disappointed to say the least, still somehow neither of you could stay away from the other.
So here you are now. At the gym in the middle of the night, sharing snacks and drinks with the boy you’ve been loving all throughout high school. You settled down on the ground by now, using your jackets as blankets to sit on, to make the hard floor at least a tiny bit more comfortable. You still feel the adoration and the warmth overwhelming you whenever you look at him or when you’re just with him, still the reminder of your memory of rejection stings.
“Can you hand me those?” You hear him ask as he points somewhere behind you, but the question doesn’t quite get through to you, as you’re still sunken into thought, so he calls out to you again, “Y/N?” Jolting, you look at him and find him already leaning over to get the bag of snacks that’s placed behind your back himself. You look at him with big eyes when it dawns on you what kind of position you’re in. His left hand is placed right beside your right hand, your fingers touching, and he supports himself on his arm as he leans over, his face dangerously close to yours.
“Wh-what are you doing…?” you dare to question. Your voice comes out as nothing but a whisper, and in that moment you can hear your heart beating fast, your face turning beet red. He starts laughing right in front of you, letting his light body fall into your arms and you reflexively reach out to catch him.
“Why are you blushing?” he asks, the huge smile on his face apparent, even though you can’t see it right now, as his chin is propped up on your shoulder. As you tighten the embrace around his torso, he softly pushes you backwards, holding you so you don’t uncomfortably crash into the floor, putting yourself at risk of getting hurt. You can’t do anything but stare up at him as he hovers above you, the smile on his lips slowly fading. “I just wanted the snacks next to you,” he eventually explains rather calmly. “No need to panic, Y/N!” With a scrunch of his nose, he moves back and grabs a colorful bag of snacks before returning to his initial seated position. You sit up as well, unable to calm your heart, when you feel something burning up inside of you. You furrow your brows and just when the bag in his hands pops, you yell at him.
“You can’t just do that, you idiot! I thought you were about to kiss me!” you blurt out, surprised by your own sudden boldness. Hwanwoong freezes up for a second, then you slowly witness his arms sinking into his lap, and just as slowly he puts away the freshly opened bag of sweets. You notice how his pupils repeatedly drop to your mouth, only for him to force himself to look back up into your eyes not even a second later.
“D-do you want me to?” he asks. Taken aback by his question, you don’t know what to say for a hot minute. So you just stare at him, and eventually you bring yourself to nod.
“I-I mean, o-only if you want to?” you stammer, blushing madly by now. “B-but I thought you don’t… feel that way? About me?” The boy stares at you for a few more seconds. In his expression you can see he’s thinking hard, trying to sort out an internal fight, when finally he leans in again.
“I know I rejected you back then…” he starts talking softly. He places his hand over yours, and just that tiny touch makes your heart skip a beat. “But… I think my feelings have changed since then. It’s true that you are a good friend to me…” He looks up at you with big eyes now, a sparkle of adoration visible in them. He continues, “But… lately I’ve been catching myself thinking how… maybe you’re more than that?” His words reach your ears, and suddenly you feel yourself calming down. Your mind feels at peace, and as he looks at you like this, wearing his heart on his sleeve, you find yourself with nothing else left to do than to lean forward and to press a kiss onto his lips. It lasts for merely a few seconds, still it makes the butterflies go wild in your stomach, and when you part to look at each other, the both of you can’t but laugh. He leaps forward and throws his arms around your shoulders, holding you close to him. You return the hug, and eventually he distances himself a bit, now holding both your hands in his.
“Does that mean… you’ll go out with me from now on?” he asks, a broad smile gracing his lips, and a pink blush dusted onto his cheeks. You chuckle and lean in to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Then you nod.
