#online venting

[morganerpost]

Woke up a lot earlier than I wanted to today. Perimenopause has been doing some weird stuff to my sleeping schedule lately... Though part of it may be mild anxiety due to not being sure if I'm scheduled for today at one of my jobs.

Also I wouldn't mind if it stopped raining for a little bit. A walk might help.

[talya-star]

Sometimes I wonder if I should really be dating someone younger than myself... and sometimes there are moments when I really question it. Like when I see a tumblr post about me on their account... why can't we just talk to each other? What has happened to humanity really? Even a text would suffice.

[pinupghoul]

There's nothing to see here.

I'm not really sure why but I've been real real real in my feelings lately. For the most part I'm getting really sick of this thyroid shit. For those who don't know, I literally DO have "a gland problem" and have to take medication every day now for probably the rest of my life for my under active thyroid. Because of it, I had been steady gaining weight for a couple years now and its officially gotten to the point where its just fucking uncomfortable. I'm getting back into working out and I'm actually looking into pole fitness. I missed this first batch of classes at the place by my house so I'll have to wait. I'm considering getting a membership at the YMCA because even though its so fucking expensive, they have a ton of classes and shit I could do also. Aside from that, I sort of feel like I'm generally running out of time to do what I want in life. I see people who are much younger than me or my age who are so successful they are already buying their second luxury car. I can't even save up enough money to buy a used piece of shit let alone a BMW. I also am aware of how materialistic that makes me sound, but I really don't give a flying fuck. I already know I'm set with a personality and good friends, but I just want more to show for it. I NEED to get into something that will make me a lot of money and I want so badly to be famous for something... I just don't want to start making all that money when I'm 40... I want it now. I shouldn't be so upset because its not even February yet and I've already had an extremely eventful year. Its just up to me to keep it up, I guess. *sigh*

[nonotyousweetheart]

Excuse Me While I Vent (Bear With Me Here)...

I've been feeling... not down persay. More like I've been lacking emotions. My family just completely drains me and thats stressing me out. They need to put their two cents in like its their life. My parents dont understand my values and beliefs. Thats a no bueno. Thank God school starts up again school... Dont get me wrong, i absolutely love all of them. But i cant handle this level of... insanity.

Ive got my friends and they are my world. My rock when im sad. My sisters and lovers and everything. But i feel like im missing something. I guess im just used to having that special someone to talk to everyday and now that thats gone... i feel a bit empty.

Im ready to hit the ground running as soon as i graduate because i need to get out somewhere new and fall in love, meet people, have new experiences. Just everything that im missing.

Im a complicated person. I dont fall in love gradually. Its sudden and it hurts and it doesnt go away. Making me feel like shit with comments on how it will never happen because i would never like you is the worst. You cant MAKE me fall in love with you and im sorry. So very very sorry but things like that dont happen over time for me... i dont know what else to tell you.

I only talk to guys. In fact, other than my girlfriends, I really only have guy friends. I just get along better with guys. I dunno its really weird but its been like that forever. I'll talk to one guy a week and the next another and the next another. I'm impossible to love and cant stand jealousy because I am faithful. Well until it bites me in the ass and I feel only neglect and emptiness. I need attention.

I want a lot out of life-a house, maybe kids, I'm going to be a doctor. I am geeky, girly, embarassing, and sarcastic. Im Susie.

Thanks ya'll. I am done now and you can keep scrolling and pretend this never happened. -Susie

[mmelissajane]

Online Venting - ROSEDALE

[yellowfriday-blog]

It's because I know that I have to.

Rachel and I decided at lunch that we would work in the caf this afternoon.

She comes in my room after lunch and asks, "Ready to do some work?"

Words in my head: "Noooooo! Nonoonononono.  No I'm tiredd of work I can't do it anymore!  No. No I can't.  I can't do it. No."

Word out of my mouth: "Yes."