#onlineentry

[avahamilton]

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[delusionallittlegirl]

I Should’ve

“I am tired.” 

In the last couple months of our relationship, I lost count of how many times I have said that in my mind, to myself and to my friends. I am tired. I really am. But when it comes to relationships, I tend to always keep my promises. 

I remember that you used to tell me that eventually, I’ll leave you. You’re always telling me that someday, I’d give up on you. And in every time that you forcefully down yourself with those thoughts, I’d smile and hug you in the way I know and reassure you. Always reassure you that I’ll always be here, never giving up and never shall I leave. 

But I was tired but then again, I still stayed true to my words. I didnt know how I was able to stand through all the bickering, arguments, incessant coldness and mood swings. But I stayed. 

I loved you too much to let go. 

I’d always remind myself of why we were able to go so far and remind myself I told you that I’ll never leave. Id remind myself that I’m going to prove to you that some people really never leave. 

But all those thoughts was because I thought you were thinking the same thing. Because I thought you love me as much.

But again, you were not. 

Baby, you gave up on me and leave me...

Like I was nothing, like we had nothing, like what we had was worth nothing.

And now, I’m better but from time to time, I still have these thoughts running through my mind. 

That I should’ve left before you did. I should’ve left before you shatter whats already broken. I should’ve left before you basically sucked the life out of me. I should’ve left the first time I felt I had enough. 

I should’ve left. I was tired, after all. 

[h0tcupofgreentea]

August 9, 2012 3:29 am I hate being treated like I'm worthless. Like, just because your older or have more friends or have better stuff than someone doesn't mean your a better person. I hate when people think they're better than someone else. NO ONE is BETTER than ANYONE. We're all the same in Gods eyes. So quit acting like stuck up douchebags and bitches and start being nicer and more humble. Like, it's not fucking attractive.