Sep 22, 2021
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#Things implied but probably purposefully never explored in canon that have me just like wtf how to WRiTe this#Include Matthias actuvely growing up and. Living and training in the very place that the actual murder and show trials of grisha are#Said to be done. Just living there#HOW AWARE WAS HE and how aware was anyone#Oooooh boy.#Ans things that have a different vibe for a 17 year old (still not excusable but he was literally. A child)#And a 27 year old man who’s been there a solid decade longer#I’m. Puzzling how to write this I deeply do not want to let him off the hook#Or give this…. The imagery it’s kind of suggesting that I would love to avoid discourse on tumblr about#As a character…. He’s best viewed as an extremely morally ambiguous ex villain#And I can’t stop thinking about the fact that in text Nina doesn’t think he’s a good man when she buries him#Furthermore I think that’s what’s so key about his death that fandom forgets:#He literally gets killed by the same genocidal machine he was a part of#Fate swaps his life in for the one he almost took from Nina#It’s like. Do I want to write this? Why has this POV haunted me for months#But I think it asks important and brutal questions about cults and religiously justified violence#And breaking free from those things#And I think the thing that grabs me the most about Matthias is his position as both a perpetrator of extreme violence (which fandom forgets#) and a victim of extreme violence (which canon forgets. Cmon he’s a lone survivor of the military machine the grisha#Very much are)#And how those two things are not seperate#It’s why I think he’s fascinating and also take a wildly different position on him from the 80% of fandom that loves him and 15% that#despises him. And also why he will not leave my mind#Matthias helvar
