#oops this got long

[the-overanalyst]

ena has a tendency to self-isolate when she's upset, and we need to talk about it more because it's honestly so fascinating.

it's the most evident during insatiable of course, screaming at akito to go away when he checks on her, not telling n25 what happened, running off to hide in sekai. it's also my favored explanation for why she takes night classes. she told all her middle school friends that she'd go to an art high school and become a great artist someday. how could she face them again after being proven so utterly wrong, having to watch their admiration turn to pity?

maybe she does this because of the lessons she was taught about weakness and sensitivity - that they make you less worthy of a person. no one will reward her for it, no one will even comfort her. they'll just say "i told you so." and remember, for the longest time her self-worth depended on other people's validation.

she thinks she has to be "good enough" to deserve care, so when she doesn't feel good enough, she shuts everyone out rather than risk them ignoring or looking down on her (which she expects)

despite all this, i think ena wants her pain to be acknowledged along with every other part of her that no one sees. this is more of an extrapolation, but craving compassion while abhoring pity feels so in character for her.

she does get better about this after insatiable. in blank canvas and pure sense, she's open to talking through her problems with mizuki and kanade respectively. it's really good stuff.

also, this is why i enjoy a mizuena dynamic in which ena is able to drop the tsundere act and let herself be soft, even weak, knowing someone will care for her regardless. personally, that's how i'd read into her expression in the picnic untrained - "you saved me" - realizing mizuki is a safe space and, moving forward, trying to give her that same safety in return.

[limeletters]

i’m just thinking about the rare nights that steve finds his parents cars in the driveway when he comes home and how he absolutely dreads going inside

while he used to look forward to their returns from parties and work trips and vacations he wasn’t invited to, now he just feels bad. he gets so worked up about opening the front door that he ends up standing on the porch for twenty minutes sometimes. because he knows if they see him he’ll either get cornered into a conversation with his mom where he’ll have to smile and pretend to love her stories as she raves about the trip like they’re best friends. that or he’ll get sat down at the kitchen table across his father who will berate him about something steve hadn’t even realized he’d done wrong

his anxiety gets so bad that he sometimes waits in the car until the house lights have gone off or he’ll just pull right back out and drive around town for a few hours. in the situations where he has to go in, he listens for voices by the door to try and time his quick escape up the stairs. and only once did he climb up the side of the house and sneak through his bedroom window like it wasn’t his own home

despite how much his friends tell him this is not normal, he feels really lucky that they’re not home so often anymore. he’s got a big fancy house all to himself, a credit card with his dads name on it, and even a nice lady who comes to check on him once a week (and to clean the house technically)

[sorrowingsoldier]

jack abbot / “relief”

Jack Abbot is a highly skilled medical professional. He can confidently perform procedures that should be done in an OR in a trauma room, in the field, hell, in the woods if necessary.

He's highly competent, capable, sought after.

And yet, his fucking phone is going to be his downfall.

Robby's stomach in that shirt is just cruel

He meant to send that to his sisters. In the same text thread where they all send their boy-related thoughts that they can't or don't wanr to actually tell the boy in question. It's a system they implemented when his sisters were in college and he was managing around the world a free agent. One leg less, the unfamiliar ability to be able to act on his wants for men.

Somehow, instead of the text sending to his sisters, it sent to Michael fucking Robinavitch.

Jack, his heart pounding in his chest, fight or flight engaging, clocks his exits. They're at a mixer, something swanky to raise more funding for the Pitt. Robby's in a suit with suspenders, the black straps hugging his tummy just right, in a way Jack wants to bite. But now, instead of thoughts about biting, Jack only has thoughts about escaping.

Because the fates are cruel, he watches in real-time as Robby holds up a polite finger to his conversation partner, pulling his phone out of the breast pocket of his suit. His eyes scan the notification, eyebrows raising.

Jack means to look away, figure out how quick he can move states, but then Robby's eyes dart around the room before landing on him, and Jack is a deer in headlights. Gone are his days of escaping the enemy and keeping America's secrets to himself, he guesses.

Before he knows it, Robby's extracted himself from his conversation and moseys over to Jack, a stupid smile on his face.

"So you think this shirt is cruel?"

"The suspenders, really." Jack confesses, he can still hold his ground.

Robby flushes, shoulders rising in a shy shrug, "Was hoping you'd like the suit, if we're being honest here."

It's Jack's turn for his eyebrows to shoot up, "Really?"

"Really."

Relief floods Jack like a gasp of fresh air, "Well, if we're being honest, it's very distracting."

Robby grins, giddy, "Could say the same thing about you."

Send me a ship/character + 1 word prompt

[ningyingyingwithagun]

Sometimes I wonder how hard Qiu Haitang was really looking for Shen Jiu. If she was actively looking, or if she was more passive about it all and simply took the opportunity presented to her when the Old Palace Master tracked her down.

She knew that Wu Yanzi had taken him as a disciple, but she described that as a "dead end" after Wu Yanzi was killed. I know that Shen Jiu's involvement was concealed during that Immortal Alliance Conference so that he could join a righteous sect, but I thought it was known that Cang Qiong Mountain Sect was responsible for Wu Yanzi's death?

Did Qiu Haitang never try to get more information from CQMS about the situation? Even if she couldn't get more information about it, wouldn't she start paying more attention to CQMS just because of the association? Did no one talk about Shen Jiu joining the sect after that event? Didn't Shen Jiu have some infamy and nasty rumors spread about him (his attitude, his late start, the brothels, etc) even before he became Peak Lord? Did disgruntled rivals from Qing Jing never gossip about him or try to track down his past? Did no one in the cultivation world ever speak the names of the Qing generation before they were given their courtesy names? Is Qiu Haitang's minor sect so minor that they don't attend Immortal Alliance Conferences to the point that she would never be able to see CQMS's succeeding head disciples or new Peak Lords? Did Qiu Haitang not spread Shen Jiu's name to everyone she could speak to? Did she never try to draw portraits? If Qiu Haitang was being noisy about her search for him and his crimes, how did no one in the entire Cang Qiong Mountain Sect never hear about it? And if she wasn't being noisy about it, why not?

[niamhabril]

(your asks weren’t on for your sideblog so I’m sending my questions here)

30, 33, 47, 55 for the aftg asks

What would it take for Wymack to retire?

Wymack I think would need to feel like he's made a difference. And not just, 'I made a difference in these specific kids lives', I think he needs to feel like he's fundamentally changed something. Wymack came into this with a goal - to use this sport to give kids who suffered something to use to get out, like he did. I have no doubt he found this sport by accident when he was in college and it helped give him something he desperately needed. Then, this American man decided to go learn from Kayleigh Day not from any American how to best play this sport. Kayleigh's approach, we know for a fact, is different to Tetsuji's. The Trojans 'play the game as it was meant to be'. Jean 'loved Exy until he reached the Nest', where he grew up on European Exy. Exy that was solely taught and founded in Europe by Kayleigh Day. Tetsuji changed what Exy was. Wymack learned Exy from Kayleigh and it shows. He makes it his mission to use this sport to mean something and to shed light on so much - abused kids, women in sports, you name it. But unless it actually changes something on a fundamental level than all he's done is make a difference in the moment. Which is good, it is. But it means once he's finished there will be no further push. I think Wymack retires when Kevin manages to get changes made at the ERC and uses his power and prestige to make the game how Kayleigh envisioned and says 'as the queen of exy this sport is for everyone, especially those that need a team and a home and kindness' and when Dan is a coach and has her own team of hurt kids and when the Trojans have a scholarship system specifically for abused kids and when Neil runs a summer camp for foster kids to play exy all summer long and be safe and Andrew has a fund sponsored by exy players to help sexual and domestic abuse victims.

That's when I think he looks around and says yeah, I've done enough, let them continue the fight.

Do you think any of the Foxes coach little league exy as they grow older?

A lot of people have this view of Kevin as someone who does not like kids, does not know how to act with kids, and would not want to be around kids.

I don't share that view. If anything, I think Kevin really enjoys kids. I'm not going to get into parent Kevin because that isn't something that interests me right now. What I will get into is Kevin, first year of his pro team, taking time to coach underprivileged and abused kids.

Kids don't expect things from you in the same way adults do. Their view of the world is so, so vastly different. Beyond maybe a 'you're so cool and awesome when you play exy' these kids do not care about Kevin's clothes, status, wealth, sexuality, or history. They care whether he likes mac and cheese and if he thinks dinosaurs are cool and that history fact IS cool Kevin and have you heard that song it goes like this.

And Kevin, if we remember, has a very gentle and kind streak in him. Something that Riko could not get rid of no matter how hard he tried. Kevin doesn't need these kids to perform on an exy court, they're not in a game together, there is no pressure here. There is just the love of the game and him giving these kids a lifeline, something he's done again and again to people in his life. He is gentle. He is patient. He is all the things he wishes he had in the Nest and he is his mother teaching him exy and he is the love and passion of the game his mother invented. And he gets so, so much out of doing this. It is healing and rewarding and fun and the best part of his year. It's better than winning a championship, though he will never admit it.

Other people I can see coaching little league? Dan and Matt, Jeremy, Cat and Laila. I think Renee does other things with kids tbh, maybe support groups or youth groups. I think Allison goes to hospitals or rehab stuff for kids. I think Neil and Andrew help a lot in foster care stuff, like maybe donation drives or fundraising or something.

If he lived, would Riko Moriyama have gone pro?

Yes. Yes because it was what he was destined to do. Yes because Riko has been groomed so long for this he himself can't remember if he made a choice whether he would have chosen no. Yes because even if he isn't technically better than Kevin he is still good at exy. Yes because even if he wasn't there is no room to fail and they have all the power anyway, Tetsuji literally formed the ERC.

And after his first loss to Kevin, Riko would become even more unhinged than he was. And he would be so destructive. No one would see the actual spiral but he would use even more resources to try and ruin Kevin, hurt Kevin, obliterate Kevin. And he would hate it while he did it because Kevin is also the only person he ever had and they were meant to be together and he loves Kevin in some part of himself but his love is so twisted and warped anyway that maybe that love is part of the reason he needs Kevin to not exist too. And Kevin won't come back to him. And he can't possess Kevin anymore. And Kevin is hurting him, and Kevin isn't allowed to hurt him. And Kevin isn't allowed to be better than him, or more loved than him, or have a life outside of him. So Kevin must suffer, suffer greatly, and die miserably, and Riko will piss on the ashes and Riko will keep the ashes in his own possession. And laugh. And cry. And be better.

And all this money he spends trying to hurt Kevin, which... I think he would hurt Kevin, we saw what he did to Andrew, would be his undoing. Tetsuji would distance himself. Ichirou would come for him. And Riko would die before the end of his second pro year.

Favorite poly ship?

Ahhhh. Oof. I dunno.

My favourite ships altogether are KevJean and Kandrew. My favourite canon ships are Andriel and DanMatt and I enjoy CatLaila. I have a softness for ReneeAllison. Keremy intrigues me. As does KevAaron?? I'm also interested in Kevichii?

I guess my favourite poly ships are Kandriel. Followed by a fondness for Kerejean, it's really the only way I engage with the Jeremy and Jean of it all.

I will say, though, I think Kevin as he is in canon right now isn't fumbling so much as like... he needs time to get to a sexual and romantic relationship? There's so many years of trauma and no one really gives him the space and time to safely explore a connection? So even if I love Kandriel and Kerejean it's very much a... I want the three of them to be on equal grounds and I think Kevin needs a bridge to get to that from where he's sitting in canon as it is? I'm not one of those people who like... sees him being excluded because it's funny or we have our inside jokes and Kevin doesn't get it or Kevin shut up about history but we're actually teasing and is into that? I think for me the dynamic is 'Kevin tell us about Helen of Troy' and he's like 'no you won't want to hear it' and it's 'noooooo Kevin, we really, really, want to hear it. We want you to be a big fat loser nerd' and he gets all huffy and then ends up relenting and that's such a win that it turns into teases and insults and makeouts. At least with Kandriel. Kerejean is more like 'Kevin please wear this comfy tshirt and not your fancy clothes and participate in bogey boarding no one cares if you look stupid' and then he relents because they're looking at him with big eyes and he can't actually say no and damn them for knowing that.

On the flip side Kevin in these relationships is 'keep andrew and neil's names out of your mouth or i will make you wish that you had never been born you stupid pathetic little shitstain' but then tells everyone he can't stand them, and also they realise him trying to micromanage their meals and check their equipment and make sure they buy a dehumidifier is all signs of him loving them so completely but he doesn't understand expression. And Kevin with Jeremy and Jean is 'yes they played so well I couldn't possibly beat them did you see them out there they will go pro omg aren't they the best' in front of the camera while handing them handwritten notes about how to do better next time and then turning up at their house with like personalised study mixes so they get through school and books he thought they might enjoy but don't let that get in the way of exy and also please teach me how to cook and then he cooks for them with such precision they worry until they realise that is... him trying to perfect their meals because he loves them.

[scullee]

7, 10, 23? 🤔

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

watercolor and gouache… how do people Do That

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

silk definitely

(some wips i haven’t posted)

23. Do you use different layer modes

i usually have a few things on different layers, but i haven’t really played around with the modes until recently (i think ive used overlay like only 3 times so far lmfao)

artist ask game

[kiebs-creative-corner]

for the fanfic writer ask game!(⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

3,8 or 11?

Ooo good choices! Thank you for the ask!

3. Is there any trope or scene you've been wanting to write?

Trope wise, I really want to try my hand at a soulmate or guide verse au! I love both those tropes so much, but other than brainstorming for soulmate aus, I've never actually written one out 🤔

As for scene, for DCMK omegaverse, I have a scene planned in my head for when Ran and Kaito "officially" meet and it's pretty much her immediately clocking he's KID and connecting the dots as to why Shinichi would want to bring this supposedly random person into the pack.

8. Which fic or hc do you feel most proud of?

Fic wise, it's actually an older fic I wrote for Digimon Frontier, Ashes, which is an in between episodes fic exploring the mental state of the main characters. I just really love how it came out, especially with writing each of the different characters' inner voices. (AO3 link in the hyperlink up there)

Headcanon wise, it's super silly and idk if you can consider it a true headcanob but it's for my mermay plans for this year.

It's gonna be DCMK, obviously since I always do my current obsessions for mermay lol, and I figured out how to incorporate Kaito's fear of fish without having him be afraid of like everyone. (Which would be it's own fun thing to explore ngl.)

Anyway, I switched it a little bit so that it isn't fish that he's afraid of, but sirens. 👀 It stays fairly true to his character, I think, without having him basically be the merm version of agoraphobic lol

11. Post something from a current WIP or concept.

From the fic I'm writing about Shinichi's first heat uwu

"Yeah, yeah, okay," [Shinichi] was saying, holding out his arm, but his voice sounded dazed. "Mm...Ran is here...but... Are you...s-sure I can't go to...to the heist?" "Ya wanna chase Kaito KID like this?" Hattori demanded. Shinichi blinked slowly at him. He shook his head. "Want...Want him here." He licked his lips. "Him and Ran." Ran wasn't sure she wanted to share Shinichi with Kaito KID.

Featuring needy Shinichi, a confused and worried Hattori, and a possessive Ran that's surprising herself uwu

[brackenferns]

@belabellissima's tags on this post deserve a post of their own, i—