#oops too long

[probablyaparadox]

Azdaja Knelax is secretly Utena(and by proxy, Anthy), and it is HAUNTING ME. Ok, first, a brief explanation of why, then why it's interesting SO. What are the parallels? 1. Utena hair- maybe this one is a weird one to start out with but his hair mildly reminds me of utena- the length is the same, and the bangs framing the face, Azdaja just has a large vegeta hair down as well 2. Azdaja's game is called duel strifers- notably Utena is a duelist, and like Azdaja, has won against all the others (seeing as he has likely won every duel strifers competition he's been in, seeing as he's not dead.) 3. I wanna get all the super basic things out of the way- blue eyes

4. Princehood- Both Azdaja and Utena see themselves/idealize themselves as Princes. YES this is meant to be a Vegeta reference on the surface but looking further, I think he fits better into Utena. They both fit themselves into the roles of prince's despite the general idea that they could never actually be one. Utena is a prince amongst women, and Azdaja is a prince of Lowbloods. 5. Konnyl was described/codenamed, according to the wiki, as a duelist before her release.

Ok now we're getting into Anthy parallels For those of you not in the know, apparently one of the initial concepts was for Anthy and Utena to be the same person in RGU. Essentially, they are two halves of the same whole, and touch on an experience as a whole. Here I think this connects very well- so I'm going to bring in the parallels of both characters to Azdaja and by proxy Konnyl.

In RGU, we have our witches, and in contrast, in HS, we have psionics. A primary depiction of Anthy is strung up in swords, all through her body- in my mind, this closely resembles the way the psionic is strung up in Homestuck. And the ideas run parallel, to be in infinite punishment for a sin that's not really sin- disobedience from their place in their world. While obviously, we do not know what helming is like for the rest of the psionics, and it might not be as bad- I'm not exactly feeling confident that would be the case, and if it is, then we still know that it's PROBABLY BAD. Kuprum is into it, but that kid is a freak. To bring this all to a T- I would like to discuss a problem/thought I've had about Azdaja knelax, and briefly mention what I would like to call the Peter Nureyev Principle. Peter Nureyev, for those of you who don't know is a great rebel, mysterious archetypal character in the Penumbra. But the thing that has always stuck with me the most was in a brief glimpse of their creative discussion podcast, one of the creators mentioned something along the lines of this: "Well, he's getting all this money, but what was it for?"

That stuck with me- because they gave it such a good reason as to the WHY. So. Why the fuck does Azdaja Knelax do what he do? What does he get out of what he does? 1. Money 2. Fame 3. Combat experience. Between working as an assassin and duel strifing with Konnyl, you would think they had a lot of money, but they never seem to have like. A crazy amount (this is partially because they're lowbloods.) I raise my theory that through these three means, their goal is to get themselves out of the mediocre position Konnyl is and the probably very bad situation Azdaja is in as a powerful Psionic. While RGU says women without princes are destined to become witches, it speculates what if they could be princes? That strength and nobility to escape fate seems to be what Azdaja strives for.

In making these parallels we get an invisible reference to how oppressive alternia is, which I think works nicely for the "hey alternia sux" section of hiveswap. It's literally encapsulating the dark twisted evils of the patriarchy of RGU in its caste system. Now, on Konnyl, Konnyl being a duelist is interesting. I think I could speculate more on her role, but her being a duelist means she's at least fighting for Azdaja- to have him, and to make sure they can't get to him, as Utena wanted to protect Anthy, even if she couldn't. And their love works well within the themes of RGU- loving someone similar to you (in this case in a similar part of the caste system), who experiences your pain differently, but nonetheless has it and wants to save you from it.

Anyway all those thoughts are pretty scattered but I just. Man. He's probably dead but if he's not he better be back. All the surface parallels just get you thinking about how well these characters show without saying anything, how bleak Alternia actually is. And makes me root for Azdaja a lot more than I already did- it's one thing to be a prince for the meme, it's another to feel the desperation to be a prince like Utena.

[blueeyeddarkknight]

I just watched the documentary ‘Val’ and wow it was good (and no I didn’t just get a 30 day free trial of Amazon Prime just so I could watch that and Tombstone). I had heard good things about it, but wasn’t 100% sure what to expect going in, but I really did like it.

Oooh.. I'm super glad people love Val's documentary! It's so beautiful, heartwarming, will make you cry..

It resonated with many people because it's brutally honest.. Brilliantly swings between happy real and extraordinary times, and tragic moments that will make a grown man cry.

I'm so happy Val agreed to digitize his record vault and showed the world how innocent, funny and amazing he is.. It made people see who he is from his and other people's perspective for the first time. Revealed part of his enigmatic public persona and showed raw parts of him as a great actor and human being.

It gave people with similar experiences with the terrible C and other struggles a big public figure to inspire them.. And I've talked to a few of them.

I can talk all day about it. I'm heartwarmed with the new Renaissance and love that surround him.. I hope it's forever. He said he receives hundreds of fan mail every day and it's overwhelming, the love and support.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us me. I hope u go down the rabbit hole like many people and make use of that subscription (that totally didn't happen) and watch the rest of his rich and incredible filmography.. Maybe even read his book I'm your huckleberry! It's worth it!

[bones-n-pumpking-ask]

She appeared in front of the two crossing her arms.

"Okay well 1. I do what I please to Ski- err. Bones. Also don't underestimate the anon's here they can murder you with the blink of an eye.

2. Okay uHm uhh uh. fuck- Do you have like. Any terms and conditions?? I wanna make sure I'm getting a good deal here.

3. Also if we're going to shake hands then I refuse. If there's one thing TV tonight me it was to not shake hands for deals."

Both took a couple of steps back when she appeared in front of them, looking at her without any bewilderment. No one interrupted, only Bones narrowed his eyes in anger once when the unfortunate name was almost said. Pumpking just stared at her, relaxed, never even flinching.

"How cheeky." Snorted Bones, frowning, "And also so very idiotic. We are immortal. No one can kill us, especially some pesky "anon" things. They can do NOTHING because they ARE nothing comparing to us. This world is OURS. You do not belong here, so do not show off."

" nah no i dont think you can do anything with the bone boy he is my m... m-muTUAL /SNORT/ after all i mean he kinda helps me with his existence and i mean it literally "

Pumpking tilted his head to the right, clearly trying to come up with something good.

" mmm well no terms and conditions its just like. you give me the stuff (and you probably wont do it cause its hard to get but anyway) and i magically help you with anythin.... orrr i can give u some of my powers for a. 24 hours or smth. depends on the goodness ull get for me :] and no shaking hands i mean who needs THAT ur flesh looks gross to touch "

[the-mini-muse]

Oh maybe I should make more Polin Graphics? People seem to like the one I posted :)

Also someone asked how I pick the stories I recommend -

They are all based on my preference.

I tend to look for longer multi-chapter stories with great characterization and character evolution, well thought out plot, good pacing, excellent word selection and sentence structure.

I don't usually recommend unfinished stories unless it's really good.I think my Hidden Gem series will mostly be quality unfinished stories.

The thing that I found with this fandom and the Polin stories in AO3 is that most of them are so well written! So I had to be extra picky and there are some unfinished ones I'm waiting to recommend that are currently being updated. I am waiting to just gush about how much I loved them - after re-reading the whole thing in it's entirety because that's how I roll.

Another thing is I didn't start recommending Polin stories until I mostly read all the really really good ones out there so I know I'm missing great stories that I haven't gotten the time to re-read and recommend.

I have so many tabs open again for re-reading stories and new stories I haven't gotten to. I also have 4 story ideas already on my Notes after dumping most of my short prompts on Tumblr the other day.

I hope I don't discourage anyone from writing Polin stories with my recommendations - I just really want to share the ones I enjoy so very much especially with a growing ship like Polin.

Ooops I didn't mean to write so much but yeah I adore Polin and if you're here and read through this whole tangent of mine thank you!

xoxo

the-mini-muse

[telirix]

Biggest turn ons? Life goal? First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive? Favorite ice cream? One thing about you that no one knows?

Turn ons: Being dominated mostly. Head/back rubs in general too. If the head/back rub leads into foreplay that’s just 👌

Life goal: To accept and be happy about how I look. Definitely not there, but getting there slowly.

Attractive celebrity: Chris Hemsworth. Keira Knightly if I had to chose a woman.

Ice cream: I love green tea and any variation of chocolate, but deep down I’m just such a slut for vanilla. It goes well with so many things!!

One thing about me: Story time! I used to be extremely afraid of cemeteries as a kid since my older cousins always said scary stories about them. Unfortunately, I had to cross one on my way to walk to my elementary school. One day after school I went past the cemetery with my head down as usual but it had just snowed and everything looked so peaceful. When I looked up there was a moment of this beautiful calmness and serenity paired with the silence of the snow that made me deeply appreciate the space for it. Now I’m still a little skeeved about cemeteries moreso because it serves as a reminder for our mortality and limited time rather than ghosts and zombies.

Thanks for the ask!

[sowrongitsjo]

Hi can you explain to me what's going on with the Gallagher drama? Last I saw Anais posted a pic with Gene then deleted it and Liam's rant over Noel's 'PR STUNT'?

Heyy. I’ve no idea honestly, all I know is what’s on those tweets. Anais posted a picture with Gene and I was like great! At least they’re getting along! But then she deleted it (and recently reposted again). Someone on twitter was complaing about not getting tickets for Liam and she was like it’s not worth it, he didn’t even write the songs, Gene saw this and apparently got upset (understandably) and started throwing shade at Anais lmao. She then blocked him, but now I think she started following him again ?? Not sure if they were serious or just joking. And Liam, I don’t even know what’s going on with him like 80% of the time 😂. Saying Noel faked being sad about manchester and how he did it “about 6 months too late” and the tweet about Sara, Jeff… Just Liam being Liam

[alexmorganjfc]

TALK ABOUT ME.

Entry one of the Gabe and Alex chronicles, let’s go way back to that shitty, shitty coffee shop we just so happened to be in at the same time. I turned around, bumped into you, and then I had your coffee all over my shirt. I remember the first thing I saw was a mortified, tall, ginger man who was struggling to find words, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a prettier person in my entire life. Eventually, you stuttered out some sort of apology and instead of being a prick to you like I usually would, I just grinned and said it’s okay, it’s just coffee, it’s just my shirt and all because I thought you were cute. You hastily helped me clean up a little, handed me some napkins and began to dab at my shirt, still apologizing every five seconds — and I still thought you were cute. Eventually, though, you found an excuse and ran away before I could get a name at the time. I get it now, though, since today I know you better than I know myself. But I still wish we’d have exchanged numbers then. Recently after that, I kept seeing you all around whenever I gave Belly a visit in New York. So it seemed you lived in the same area, but you’d always be gone right after I notice you, and you notice me right back. You were afraid of our confrontation, and even if I didn’t know it at the time, I was afraid of what was coming for us. 

Entry two of the Gabe and Alex chronicles, skip to a few months after that — we’re in a sort of gay club, the music is too loud and I’m still upset over my ex girlfriend. I look over at the bar, and I see a pile of red sitting on top of a head, with a face I’ve been thinking about way too much lately. I thought to myself at first, this must be fate. But then I told myself I was dumb for thinking that, and that I’ve had too much to drink. Still, alcohol was a friend to me at the time; it gave me enough courage to walk right up to you at that bar. You looked surprised; I wasn’t sure if that was a look of disappointment or not, but I was hoping you were just as glad to see me. I bought you a drink or two, after you finally agreed, and then we danced. Alcohol seemed to give you a boost of confidence as well, because I’ve never been so in love with the way a person’s body moves, I’ve never felt so turned on in the middle of a dance floor in my entire life. And when you kissed me then, I felt so dizzy that my head could burst and I told myself that was just the alcohol. It wasn’t just the alcohol. We left the loud and crowded club around 1 AM, and roamed the streets of New York, half drunk on alcohol, half drunk on each other and the taste of our lips. We found a quiet place where we could talk, and we talked for hours, and maybe made out — at least, until we saw the sun coming up. You took me back to your hotel room, and the things we did in there during that entire weekend would put a sex addict to shame. You took out your camera and began to film me at some point, and although I wasn’t used to it at the time, it was cute seeing you do your own thing — something you felt passionate about. Come the last day of my visit, and I left you with nothing but my name. I was an asshole for doing that, but I was also scared so I’m sorry for hurting you at the time, I’m sorry for acting irrationally. 

Entry number three of the Gabe and Alex chronicles, you showed up at the Valleys a few months later. I was shocked; for the first time, I was nervous, I was scared, and I was swelling up with love I never knew I had for you then. You gave me the cold shoulder — understandable, and you had a fake girlfriend to keep me away from you. That sort of annoyed me, but still understandable. But that didn’t really keep me away from you. That one thought I brushed away that night in the club, it came back to me and I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I couldn’t get you out of my head — you were like a bug I needed to squash. I stopped sleeping with everyone, just because you said you thought it was sloppy. I changed my ways for you — at the time, I didn’t do it just to date you. I did it because you didn’t like it, and before I knew it I was in too deep, and whatever you didn’t like didn’t work for me, either. I took you out, and it was terrible. But you did seem to enjoy yourself eventually, and by the end of that night I was infatuated. I knew you were going to be the death of me. I took you back to England during the break, and you got to see my home — you met my family, you got to know me. You became mine during that break, you made me the happiest person alive when you said yes and kissed me until I couldn’t feel my lips anymore. 

Entry number four of the Gabe and Alex chronicles, it was a bad day for me. I didn’t get out of bed because I knew what day it was, I snapped at everyone who tried to check on me — including you. I told you to go away, and you didn’t know why. I made you feel like you did something wrong, that this whole thing was a mistake, when really it was when I needed you most. You tried to leave me alone, but I couldn’t let you walk away — not like I did with everyone else. I made you stay, I apologized for being a terrible person, and you held me until I could feel the cold leave my body, and instead replaced with the warmth I could feel coming from yours. I knew this is exactly how I wanted to feel for the rest of my life. I should know better, I knew this might not last at all with you. But it was a good start; you were good for me, you are good for me and that’s never going to change. So I said it, in a barely audible tone and I froze. And when you said it back, I could feel my heart stop; and then you kissed me, and my heart was fluttering and I couldn’t feel more grateful about the fact that it was you next me the whole time. I’ve loved you like no other. 

Entry number five of the Gabe and Alex chronicles, we took that one step forward and before I knew it, I was living in your apartment in New York. We bought a dog together, we wake up next to each other every morning and go to bed, next to each other every night. I just knew it in me, this makes me happy — this is what I wanted for the rest of my life. You are my future, my world, everything I ever wanted — you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. So your birthday came along, and I decided to buy you a house, a house for us to live in. We had one more addition to the family, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with the choices I made. We both knew what this meant for us, and I can’t wait to move on with this chapter in my life with you. I see us decorating our house together during the break, and I see us leaving one room empty but always ready to be decorated — that’ll happen when we bring a life into this world, and call it ours. I know we’re going to last, because I can actually see us both on the porch of that same house — except in my head, I see us all wrinkly and old and gross, and I couldn’t be happier with that. 

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you and that’s never going to change anytime soon. We’ve got a long way ahead of us still, and there’s going to be some bumps on the road — but it’s nothing you and I can’t handle, right? I know in the end, no matter what happens, we’ll pull through. We raise each other up — it’s what we do, and it’s why we work so well together. Thank you for spilling that coffee all over me, thank you for finally giving me a chance to speak to you that night, and thank you for finding it in your heart to give me that second chance when we met again. I’ve found purpose and immense happiness in this world, and that was all thanks to you, Gabriel Michaels. 

[daisy-ramsey]

Lost in a Field of Daisies || Closed

Some days were good. Some days, she didn't feel like she was about to fall apart, didn't feel as if there world was ending around her. Some days were okay. Some days she felt down, but she buried herself under blankets for a few hours and rode out the storm. But other days... other days she was more than falling apart at the seams. Some days, she was already gone. Some days it was like she was a different person, like nothing in the world could hurt her anymore because she was too broken to take any more pain. Some days it felt as though she was never going to get better.

Some days it felt like she had nothing left to live for.

Those days were usually the ones where she slipped. Sometimes she forget to eat, or sleep, or do something or another. A simple thing, the kind of important thing that normal people did every day. But it just slipped her mind. And everyone once in a while, that thing was the tiny little thing she did during the day. Frankly, she knew she was lucky. She was a horrible person. Sometimes a despicable human being. Someone who deserves not being love. Oliver knew it. She never wanted to be this person. But you couldn't change the words on a page, and she couldn't change who she was. She wished she could. God, she wished she could.

Daisy was always afraid of those days. Afraid that one of these days, one of those stupid moments where she blacks out would be more drastic. A simple little thing. The slip of a knife, a trip off the curb, one too many pills down her throat. And no one would even care enough to find the body. She didn't have anyone here. Of course, there was her mother, but most days she felt her mother is in a worse shape than she is. Maybe it was something genetic. She was always told how similar she looks, and just how lucky she is for having such good looking parents. Parents. Of course, her father wasn't in the picture anymore, and she doubt if he would feel the tiniest pinch in his heart if he'd hear is daughter is dead. She wouldn't if she were him. She didn't have anyone at all. She'd go cold in some unmarked grave, and that would be the end of it. An anti climatic full stop to this war she'd been fighting since she was a girl.

At that particular moment, however, Daisy was too far gone to care about what she might or might not do. As often happened at the height of her moods, she somehow decided a bar was a good idea. She had the good sense to walk there, at the very least. But once she arrived, it had been easy. The place was so full of life, a life she could never touch. Maybe swallowing just one more glass could bring her closer. And so she did. She mixed her drinks and went at it as hard as she could. Because at the bottom of the bottle was the kind of oblivion she usually never wanted to find. She drank enough to knock out a horse, and then some. She pushed herself to the edge, just to see if she would fall.

It was late, though. The bar wasn't so busy, and the unfortunately wise bartender had cut her off about ten drinks too late. She could barely think straight, barely see straight. She was good at hiding it. Her words didn't slur so much, and she managed to walk reasonably straight for someone that had drunk so much. But her head still span and her senses still whirled and it wasn't until there was a hand down her pants that she realised someone was talking to her. Flirting with her. Quite aggressively. She didn't sleep with him. Didn't want to, at least. She tried no, and when that had failed she'd given up. She had done that before. Lost herself in sex because it was easier than reality. They called her a slut... whore. Made it very clear. Annie wasn't the first person to do that and the guy sticking his throat down her mouth wouldn't be the last. 

And the night became a day, and she stopped going to work because what's the point? And the daily socializing with her customers was from the other side of the counter, because what's another guy?