mentions of male reader and toxic relationships but nothing graphic. and swearing, but your here so thats on you. fair warning, i'm mildly dyslectic but i had grammarly to help me this time so i should be better than the last one lmao.
auto correct saved my life on this one, i wrote in two hours listening to viva la vida but lofi on repeat.
a- affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)
hugs !! my god does this boy love to hug you. his driver room? hugs. middle of a flight? he will hug you. cooking? back hugs. he will do anything for a hug. he also loves to give you small, everyday things that remind him of you. he sees a flower shop with your favorites in the window, he’ll by them for you. soft toy of your favorite animal? he’ll get one, put a little bow on it and gift it to you. he would so give you a little ring with ‘81’ on the inside, if you played a sport/raced he would have a matching one with your number in it. and if you didn’t, he would put your initials. vv sweet baby.
b- best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)
he would drag you to his house to watch every single race when you were kids. you’d be forced to sit next to each other in the seating plan and became fast friends, especially if you’re good at math, (why do you think i have so many friends?) he would miss a lot for racing so you’d take extra notes for him so he would buy you a little trinket at every race, and you’d put them all on a shelf. (your parents had to take you to IKEA and get new shelves, just for the trinkets.)
c- cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)
little spoon. even better if you’re taller than him. if you disagree, you can talk to the rock wall as i climb it. (i’m a rock climber btw, this isn’t meant to be a joke)
d- domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)
he cooks and bakes a lot. (in Australia, you have a class (i had to take if for two years but that varies) on cooking, he would thrive there). he would do all the cooking because he loves it so much, so you would always clean up to share the work load. he would so want to by a little cozy house, maybe on a hobby farm, and adopt kids with you. you would take in sibling sets so they wouldn’t get separated in the system. i can see him doing that later in his career (after he wins a WDC maybe), and he would be a stay at home (working form home) dad for your little family (of like 10 kids across four adoptions and a surrogacy) while you worked full time.
e- ending (if they break up with their partner, how do they do it?)
he would let them down gently. he wouldn’t break up with someone for no reason, so if it was out of his control, he would by flowers and do it somewhere privet but with no real sentimental value to anyone. he’d cry doing it too. but like i said, unless they cheated of him, bby wouldn’t break up with anyone, ever. it probably meant he had a toxic high school relationship that one of his sisters had to get him out of because he didn’t want to make anyone upset :(
f- fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they be to get married?)
if he won an aus gp he would so take you out to dinner at his favorite place (he looks like the kinda guy to take you grilld at any and every opportunity) and propose to you at a park with ice cream afterwards. i think he would have no problem settling down. it’d give him some peace of mind that he always had someone in his corner to go home to after a bad race or stressful day.
g- gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
he would treat you like glass, even if you could kill him with your bare hands, he’d still be so so so gentle with you. he’d always ask you how you’re feeling, and would tilt his head while listen to you talk about your emotions. the king of communication. 100%.
h- hugs (do they like hugs? what are their hugs like?)
he loves hugs. i will not be elaborating. (especially if you lay on top of him, he loves it, it makes him feel so safe.)
i- i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)
depends on how long he’s known you. if you met as kids, he’d probably say it to you before you got together (in a platonic way.) but otherwise he’d wait until you said it to him.
j- jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)
he gets jelous so easlity, but he wouldn’t show it. if someone was flirting with you, he’d go all quite and moody as he holds your hand tighter or hugs your waist. he won’t outwardly do anything to anyone because he trusts you so much, he knows you would never do anything.
k- kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)
he loves to kiss you. he would kiss your cheek then blush and run away. if you had tattoos, he would so kiss them. if you kissed him, anywhere, he would melt into a pile of goo and mark would have to stop him spacing out every five minutes for the rest of the day.
l- little ones (how are they around children?)
he loves children. did you see him with the grid kids at the aus gp? he didn’t look like he stepped on lego for once. if you had to baby sit a small child (between 4yo and 10yo) he is so coming with you. he’d probably enjoy the toys/shows you give to the kid than the actual kid.
m- morning (how are mornings spent with them?)
if you had a whole day off, you would just never leave the bed. he’s be so cuddly and soft. if you try moving before 10 am he would complain that it’s too cold without you. then you’d make breakfast and eat on the balcony/porch together. until lando or logan comes over unannounced and insist that you all play a video game.
n- night (how are nights spent with them?)
so so so soft. he goes to bed a 7 pm on the dot every day. the golden light from the setting sun would be so cute. he’d look like a teddy bear. he’d also insist that he childhood toy would sleep with you guys.
o- open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything at one or wait a white to reveal things slowly? )
he’d be so mysterious and would suddenly drop lore like he’s a dad or something. you wouldn’t know anything for months, then you suddenly know his favorite flower is a daisy and he once had to go the hospital because he ate a dandelion. then you have to wait months for any new information.
p- patience (how easily angered are they?)
he is a saint. unless your lando, logan or fredrik, then he is perpetually annoyed at you. if you had a disability (both visible or invisible) he’d be so so patient with you if you were slower to get somewhere/do something/understand him. and if you spoke a different language, he’d learn it in secret so you could talk. he’d probably be more comfortable talking in your native language than in english, he gives me the vibes of “i don’t like speaking English to people i’m close to, it doesn’t feel special enough for them.”
q- quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
he would remember every little detail you ever tell him ever. your favorite pen brand you mentioned as you walked though officeworks or your Favorite teacher from when you were 5. he will remember everything. until you ask him, then he forgets his own name.
r- remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
when you brought him flowers for the first time when he was still in f3. you brought them for him when you went on your first in person date since covid started and he took them home and pressed them so he could put them in a frame and keep them forever. he’d set the photo of you two from that date as his wallpaper and would always show it to people like “look at my man :D”
s- security (how protective are they? how would they protect you?)
he would wrap himself around you entirely when he wants to protect you but he also cried when he almost killed a spider so i don’t think he’d be capable of anything else.
t- try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts everyday tasks?)
he puts so much effort it making things special for you were ever he can but it’s all or nothing. it’s either pizza on the living room floor with a shitty film, or the most expensive wine he could find with a home cooked, three course meal on a balcony in Paris. he’d always make is special for you, but it depends on his mood and what he can do.
u- ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)
he’d bite your fingers if you put them too close to his mouth. he’d get the overwhelming sense of love and would bite your fingers to keep your hands on him or at least close to him because he would cry otherwise. this wouldn’t be a problem for you if it weren't for the fact he has sharp teeth and a strong jaw.
v- vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)
he does not care. he does not give two fucks about how he looks. until it’s a fancy date, then he cares. he’d learn how to do eyeliner so he’d look extra good for you. (him in eyeliner, i’d pay money to see that)
w- whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)
absolutely. he would cry every night he couldn’t be with you or call/talk to/see you. he would take your clothes so he could feel even just a little but closer to you.
x- xtra (a random headcanon for them)
he’d call you ducky. no reason for it. he just called you that one day and never stopped.
y- yuck (what are somethings they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
he wouldn’t want someone who would always one up him or treat him like a baby. he also wouldn’t want someone who always did all the cooking and cleaning while he just did nothing. he’d probably cry if the work load wasn’t split evenly.
z- zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs)
he’d take all the blankets. even in an aussie summer, he insists on sleeping with three blankets and you’ll always wake up at 3am with no blankets and again at 6am with him (and all the blankets) on top of you.
Just a friendly reminder that you're a fucking asshole for existing.
So sorry this took so long darling, I am the literal worst at responding to folks (just ask @fuzzykittengladiator, the man’s patience is limitless). You poor thing, you must have been obsessing over my blog for weeks awaiting this reply.
Unfortunately I didn’t have much to do with my existence so I’m not the one to which you should be addressing your comment cards. You’ll have to consult the higher ups on that one. Sorry to say I’ve only one grandparent left and my parents don’t have tumblrs, but I will gladly pass along whatever you need as best I can.
I would love to know what your tipping point was though. Was it politics, religion, cartoons, Christmas in October, paleo lemon cakes (that one hurt me too, no hard feelings there broski). Please stop by again (genuinely), I’d love to know.
In the mean time, go outside and smell a flower and listen to the birds and like hug your dad or something.
