#or projecting

[local-space-case]

do y’all see it too…

[mako-the-tako]

the fucking bird that I hate

Bro doesn't have a last name so I gave them one.

[amphivine]

maybe the reason i always liked the troubled girl x sweet nerdy guy trope is because i’ve always felt there’s something inherently wrong with me and all i’ve ever craved since i was a little girl has been to have someone love me so deeply he don’t leave when i push him away and he makes me feel wanted and reassure me that no there’s nothing wrong with me and i’m not unlovable and that being me is okay. not because he’ll “fix” me because i know i’m not broken but maybe he’ll hold me when i need it and i won’t like an outsider watching people live their lives for once. maybe then i’ll feel like i’m living too. or maybe i’m just overthinking things, who knows 🤷‍♀️

[stop-saying-tootsie]

something about “the war is over, captain!” “is it alison? is it?” has me thinking so hard rn and. i think i finally realized why it means. so much

being from a really strict home that’s not accepting of really anything unusual leaves so many scars and forces you to become someone you aren’t. even upon leaving home, the battle with yourself and your identity never really ends.

and i feel like the captain is thinking along these lines. he is in a new time, with new normals and different ways of thinking that are far more open than he’s used to. alison brings these in and it completely shakes his world. but he was from a completely different time where being himself was deadly. he died believing that he was broken and wrong, and that way of thinking isn’t easily undone.

he knows logically that he can be himself now, he can be happy, but the internal battle will never really end. he’ll always struggle with himself, in his own private war.

he’s the captain, he has no name and no identity outside or that.

he is the war and he is always fighting.

making the nameless wwii captain gay really provides for some excellent connections to his identity and i will never stop appreciating the idiots for it

[watchoutforthefanfics]

Teen Romance Logicality // Part 10

Taglist: @loveyatothemoonandback @datoneidiot @doepuffsss @katie-the-noble-fangirl @awkwardcat @sanders-sides-love-astronomy @lallyphant @procrastinatingnerd @i-need-you-buddy

Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, and Nine.

Ahhh I can't believe this is it!!

(Other than a few planned things. *cough* Prinxiety and maybe future stuff *cough*)

Enjoy my teen boys one last time...maybe. (This is the end of this series but not this universe.)

Thank you for reading this series!!

~ ~ ~

Logan couldn't believe it, today was his last day as a highschooler. This was the last time he'd roam those halls with his best friend, last time he'd prove his History teacher wrong, last time he'd sneak a call to Patton in the bathrooms...

Logan was hardly ready, as he stared at his suit laid completely in the center of his perfectly-made bed, and remembered every single thing that he could.

Maybe it was so he wouldn't have to face it, or maybe it was so he didn't forget it on his journey of life.

So he didn't forget all that had brought him here, Logan's eyes steadied on the pride flag stretched just above his bed and felt apart of him just... sigh.

There was a point in his life that he was afraid of that, afraid of who he was and how it would affect his life. Yet, he sat here; his identity flaunted and more in love than he could ever even imagine.

His heart skipped a beat, as his eyes fogged up without a beat of hesitation.

He used to be so afraid of feelings of so much vulnerability and heartbreak, that he tore his heart away from anything it had latched onto. Except, one.

Except Patton.

Logan's heart swelled, as he smiled a wide broad smile, just thinking about him. About everything Patton had been there for, helped him with, and just how much he had learned from him.

Logan didn't even know how much he didn't know until he met Patton, and began to love him on a level he never even knew he was capable of.

Sure, they were teenagers but Logan felt like he had known him for three decades, and couldn't imagine living without him.

To be fair though, Patton hadn't been the only one to shape him.

His eyes shifted to a Pride picture sat just by his bedside, with Roman in a rainbow crown and himself with a flag draped across the back of his shoulders.

Roman had done so much for him, and although he was incredibly annoying, he was heaven-sent.

Roman had been there for an stubborn, arrogant boy when he was at his worst, and helped him accept himself despite never wanting to.

He, oddly, owed his life to Roman. And hoped whoever he ended up with would be worth such an egotistical but loyal prince, otherwise, Logan would destroy them.

Logan didn't wipe away the tears when they sunk down his cheeks, as he picked up the picture frames just by his bed: one of a familiar boy with a bunny and one of Roman giving him a "makeover" when they were younger.

He could feel the tears well up in his eyes, quietly and considerately, and for one of the first times Logan felt in his life, they deserved to fall.

Everything was about to change, Logan found his eyes falling on the robe and cap hanging up on his closet wall, and he couldn't stop it.

With a sigh, he stood and tried to focus, as well as wiped away his blood-red eyes. Remembering distantly Roman's advice with a small smile, "You're a god, teach; all you've gotta learn is how to care for yourself."

A chuckle and his door was opening, his Mom was grinning with teary eyes that Logan had expected, but hadn't had the guts to imagine.

He now knew why.

Her hair was neat --contrary to her usually messy, tossed look--, and her eyes were gleaming with a sense of sadness and... pride.

Logan swallowed that sob that wished to echo out of his mouth, because she was proud of him and that's truly all he had ever wanted.

"I-" his Mom began with a guilty tone, but her eyes stayed locked on her son.

"Mom-" Logan spoke, words tumbling, "-you don't have t-"

His Mom shook her head, a smile that gleamed under the swift glance of teary eyes, "Oh, but I want too."

"Logan," she shook her head, running a gentle hand down her face, "-I know, I know I don't say it enough. But I love you, and I'm so, so proud of you. For everything, okay? You should know that, I should've told you that mor-"

"Mom-" Logan hummed, wrapping her in a hug that filled a hole in his heart, "-it's okay. You said it now, and that's all that matters. I know."

His Mom wrapped her smaller frame around him, she was gentle but he knew this had meant the world to her. He could tell in the way her grip tightened on him for a split second, like she was holding him as tight as she could, just in case she couldn't again.

"You," she spoke into the air behind him, "You should be whatever you want, Logan. You always should have that choice. I... I never meant to take it from you."

Logan spoke, for what felt like the 10th time that day, "Mom-"

"No," his Mom smiled, pulling back and holding his hands in a quiet moment, "-no, you- You should go with Patton. He makes you happy, I can tell. You deserve to be happy, Logan Alexander."

Logan was quiet, unable to say what exactly he had felt in that moment. It was a complicated slosh of feelings that he didn't exactly know how to... communicate, and found that the silence spoke a lot more than he could say outloud.

"You have to promise me that you'll be happy."

"I-" Logan choked back a sob, tears rolling quietly down his cheeks, "I promise Mom, Patton makes me really happy. He couldn't hurt anything that was relatively harmless."

His Mom smirked, pinching his cheek, "Oh, Logan. I'm so proud of who you've become, Patton is one lucky, lucky boy."

Logan sniffled, "Thank you, I- I don't know what to say."

"Hmm, maybe. This is just a thought-" his Mom rambled with a teasing tone, "-'Mom, I'll invite you to the wedding?'"

Logan rolled his eyes, wiping off his clouded glasses, "You had to ruin it, Mom? Really?"

She smiled, "Anything to get you to stop crying, Logan. Now, looks like you've got a suit to put on, no?"

He grinned, his heart lifted and so full that Logan was honestly surprised he wasn't levitating at how much he felt like it.

This day truly couldn't get any better.

◇◇◇

Logan's knee was bouncing, he sat just behind a girl named... Stephanie? He thought so anyway, she was confident and incredibly nice.

He would... never see her again.

He'd never seen a lot of people again, that was apart of this moment. His hands were clammy with a stack of index cards practically being squeezed to death in his right hand; of course, he was valedictorian.

Who else would be?

So, he had a speech prepped and ready to launch when he was called upon. He was scared, but a good kind of scared (he cursed himself for a vocabulary change), and he couldn't not say he wasn't practically dancing on his toes at the fact that he would Patton would physically be in his presence soon.

He didn't need to think about that right now, he had to focus-

"-our valedictorian, Logan Reilly!"

Logan's eyes went wide, just for a second as he swallowed down the fear and stood with as straight as his posture would allow.

He cleared his throat, his cards set just onto the podium in front of him; as he quietly wrung out his hands an effective way to calm his stuttering nerves.

"I'd like- I'd like to say that this will be easy-" Logan spoke, careful and pristine with every ounce of confidence in his tone, "-but I'm sure, we all know it won't be. And you all know, I don't like liars-"

A falsehood echoed somewhere in the crowd, a memory of something that had defined him in this school. It was... nice.

"So," Logan chuckled, "-I think we can all agree that it's hard, it is difficult to say goodbye to this. To these walls and these teachers that we are so ever familiar with."

"Even if it wasn't pleasant," Logan added, "-it's hard to deal with change. To label this chapter of our stories with 'The End', and to comprehend the next steps in our lives. Because afterall, we're just human."

"Today, however-" Logan transitioned, "-I don't propose an end to you, nor do I propose a clichéd entirely new beginning. I say just keep going, this is just a new layer of your life. Things will change, of course, it is inevitable. But it will only truly affect you, if you allow it do so."

Logan paused, beginning steadily, "This is your life, and whether you want to be a doctor, lawyer, or a professional heartbreaker --it is of no importance--, because you control it. You live how you want to. What would I recommend?"

"Well," Logan tapped his chin, "-take those who you love-"

His eyes searched for his Mom within the crowd, finding her bright smile in a sea of faces; she sat just beside a familiar fa-

Logan froze, squinting for a second, as his heart halted in his chest; warm curls, round glasses and the shiniest blue eyes he had ever seen.

Holy-

For a second, Logan forgot how to breath and where he was because the love of his life was in the crowd-

He cleared his throat, trying to regain himself and cage his ever bursting heart in his ribcage, plus restrain himself from running from the stage at that exact second.

He wasn't even graduated yet, that was too improbab-

"T-Take," Logan began again, "-Take those who you love and choose your journey, choose where you wish to go. It's truly your decision whether or not this is an ending, or just another step up the staircase of life. Thank you for the memories, I'm glad I graduated with you all."

There was a roaring applause that Logan felt a surge of pride for, but all he could think about was the fact that he had actually seen Patton with his actual two eyes.

He was real, he was here.

He was breathing the same air as him; he was so close to him, closer than he's ever been. Logan could touch him, potentially.

With a racing heart, Logan made his way back to his seat with a bouncing leg but this time for a different reason, that Logan believed was immensely better.

Getting his diploma felt unreal, he was lined up meticulously and he had seen this through a metaphorical lens, he could've sworn that it wasn't real.

That he was enraptured in a fantasy world, but he had to remind himself he wasn't Roman. Everything was real, he was... graduating.

"With the highest honors, Logan Reilly."

Accepting his diploma with a brief handshake and bright smile, Logan swore he couldn't feel more unreal.

This was a new page in a book he was... excited to read.

◇◇◇

The rest of the graduation ceremony was quick, all Logan could think about was who was up in the stands. Who he had loved but never even seen with his true bare eyes.

But, he controlled himself. He stayed on the bottom floor because that was what his Mom had planned earlier, and Logan wasn't one to break plans. So he sat there, practically bouncing as his eyes flashed to the bleachers and back to the crowd, anything to tip him off would make him start sprinting at this point.

"Hey-" Roman spoke, causing Logan to jump and almost fall over himself, "-Nerd Alert, you look a little, dare I say it, distracted? Everything... alright?"

Logan paused, looking at his best friend, "Yes, yes. Roman, I'm perfectly fine. It seems there is an extra visitor, that I have come unprep-"

Roman burst, "Patton's here! HOLY SH-"

"Woah, Roman-" Logan laughed lightly, "-we are still on school grounds."

"True, true," Roman hummed, he was visibly bouncing, up and down and up and down.

Logan was practically frantic, as he rambled, "I'm actually remarkably nervous, which is quite unusual. I just, I want him to like me, you know?"

"Oh Logan," Roman stood on his tippy toes to see over heads, "-Patton loves you, nothing is ever going to change that."

Logan glanced at Roman, his gaze sweeping slowly back to the crowd, "I know, it's an odd fee-"

Logan's words halted on his lips, his eyes locking with a head of such fluffy curls and the brightest pair of eyes he'd ever seen.

And suddenly he was broken, his eyes locking on him like he couldn't move, like he barely even registered that there he was: Patton was right there.

Logan could scream.

Patton wasn't looking at him though, he was leading his purple-haired friend --who he assumed was Virgil-- through the hectic crowd, with a caring and gentle touch.

Logan truly didn't know how to react, should he start running? Should he call out to him? Make noise? What was the proper way to make him see m-

Virgil's dark brown eyes widened as they landed on him, a grin bashfully making it onto his lips and Logan could see him sputter to Patton. He could see the struggle of trying to explain it, until the surprisingly tall anxious boy just groaned and pointed behind him.

Logan lost it, when Patton slowly turned around and for the first time, Patton's light blue wonders of eyes locked onto his. His heart skipping in his chest, before Logan could even blink Patton had dropped Virgil's wrist with a quick thump, and began running through the crowd to him.

Logan's heart was racing in his ears, as he grinned as bright as a beam of light, and made his way to him through the crowds too.

Step, keep moving, he had to keep reminding himself, ignoring the feeling that was quite vividly tearing his stomach out. He just had to focus on Patton's curls, curls that Logan could feel with his fingertips-

And then, the two found a clear pathway, a section open for just the two of them like a runway for a plane. Before Logan could move an inch though, Patton was already sprinting toward him.

And he was oddly fast, very very fast.

So Logan found himself waiting, until Patton crashed directly into his arms and Logan caught him and spun him around to disperse the force. (Totally not for dramatic effect.)

He was touching Patton, Patton was literally right in front of him and he could feel him breath and his chest move with his laugh.

Logan pulled him close to his chest with a single movement, as Patton dug his head into his neck and wrapped his legs just around Logan's torso.

It felt so right, as he breathed in his distant scent of strawberries, felt his curls against his face.

God, he was real.

He was so real, and warm and lovely. How was this happening? Was it all a dream? It had to be a dream right? It has to b-

Patton pulled back, interrupting his thoughts, and Logan was so close he could see the lightest bit of freckles scattered along his cheeks. He was remarkably beautiful.

Just until Logan noticed that he was crying, tears were slowly making their way down his cheeks and Logan immediately panicked.

He put him down, crouching slightly to match his height, and it was then he realized he could touch him, there was no screen.

Logan's thumbs were quick, wiping away the flood pouring from his eyes, with a concerned tone, "Love, what's wrong? Is everything alright? Are you okay? Did you get hu-"

Patton sniffled, which was possibly the cutest thing Logan had ever seen, "I'm just-"

Logan held onto the edge of his words, ready to fight literally anyone in a moment's notice; which was unusual behavior but his boyfriend had been way cuter in person than over the phone which is so incredibly impossible, but-

"I'm just-" Patton spoke, a gleam in his eye and the warmest smile that sent "butterflies" straight to Logan's stomach, "I'm just really happy."

Logan faltered, a sloppy smile slipping it's way onto his lips without hesitation, "Oh, Patton. I love you so much, I'm not sure I can handle it."

Patton's face brightened so much, Logan wouldn't mind saying those words for the rest of his life; his smile was entirely too infectious and Logan could hardly breathe from the love that bloomed deep in his chest.

Oh god, he loved him. He loved him so much he could scream it off the rooftops --which was highly dangerous and improbable--, he'd yell it across the world if he had too.

Patton grinned, placing a hand on Logan's face with just the lightest hesitation, "I... I love you too. I just... I can't believe you're here, with me. You're real. You're... you're Logan."

Logan leaned into his hand, absorbing the warmth flowing through his skin without a shred of rejection or even thought at this point. He was running on adrenaline, adrenaline and love.

Patton was quiet, just for a second and Logan could feel his whole world freeze with him.

"I..." Patton hummed, inching closer to Logan with every step, "May I kis-"

Logan surged forward, because god he had been waiting to do that for so long. He had imagined it many a times before, what it felt like to kiss Patton and he hadn't imagined anything less than absolute bliss.

And he was so, so right.

It was slow and warm and sweet, filled with years of wanting to do so, but never doing so. Logan couldn't imagine anything more perfect, as he pulled Patton to him by the waist and wished on every star in the sky that this was real, and that Patton would stay here, with him, forever.

When they pulled away, it was for a breath and not much else. Just until, Patton's eyes began to sparkle and Logan didn't think he could ever see anything more beautiful.

"I..." Logan didn't know what to say, he was speechless at this beautiful boy in front of him.

Patton shook his head, placing a finger on his lips with a cheesy smile, "My turn to talk, Lo-Lo."

Logan rolled his eyes, with a shine of admiration in his eyes and love in his heart.

"You are-" Patton spoke inbetween kisses scatter among Logan's face and he was melting, "-amazing," kiss to the cheek, "-smart," kiss to the other cheek, "-handsome," kiss to the forehead, "-my entire world, and-" kiss to the nose.

Patton grabbed his tie and pulled him down, looking straight at his lips, "-I'm never going to let you go again."

Logan squeaked, and Patton met their lips again, confident and happy and Logan couldn't ask for anything better.

fin~

[marvelann]

People in Spain can get so weird about mental health, I swear.

I got a prescription for antidepressants. Went to the pharmacy to get them, was very surprised at the price (pills for a month are only 0.87€. My allergies medications are around 10 times this amount) so I said something like "Wow, that's cheap!". And the pharmacist went "Yes! And they're so good for you" but idk, kinda in a tone? "You're saved now, child"

I get it, Spain has a pitifully low amount of psychologists and psychiatrists compared to my home country (Uruguay), but damn. I never get that kind of treatment getting antihistamines or antibiotics or whatever. It was a bit weird.

[thedeafprophet]

if May is gonna be teleporting around and stalking through mirrors, the least he can do is pick up chocolate for Jamie when they have period cramps :P