℘

⌗ OOO ──── ⵓ 𐔌 a 𝐃𝐎𝐄 .ᐟ N°OT a spoiler-free zone

[amphivine]

frozen in time without your touch ﾒ @ Paula ! ˙ᵕ˙

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 hihi! without your love, darling

⤹ ❀ 〃 -- doe eyes . pouty lips . yapper girl ꩜ .ᐟ

# OCEANS DAUGHTER; enfp ༝ xvi ༚ irl vampire (not clickbait) ༝ july leo ༚ bookworm ༝ theater kid ༚ daughter of amphitrite ༝ coffee lover ༚ sleepy girl ༝ writer ༚ slytherin.

[ MASTERLIST! ] . ౨ৎ . [ BOOKSHELF! ]

[amphivine]

Do you still do requests?

yup !

i mean depends really the fandom/character and stuff and it may take me some time to get to it but i do

[amphivine]

ive never understood why ppl say it’s “cringe” to call someone princess as a petname bc thats what my mom would call me growing up and so it’s very special to me

[amphivine]

im the secret love child of clawd wolf and draculaura #confirmed #canon

[korutt]

(˶˃𐃷˂˶) ꒰ nana .ᐟ ꒱ ❤︎

qotd. if you were in the mlp universe, would you be a.) a unicorn; b.) an alicorn; c.) a pegasus; or d.) en earth pony?

I believe I'd be an Unicorn! What about you ?!

[amphivine]

im not fully certain but i think id be a pegasus!

[korutt]

(˶˃𐃷˂˶) ꒰ nana .ᐟ ꒱ ❤︎

okay okay YAP TIME bc yesterday i lowk forgot (╥‸╥)

soooooo ive been staying at home since around jan.23 bc my dogs are in heat (which is why theyre driving me insane bc the boy isnt like fixed so he really wants to,, yk) soooooo ive been pretty isolated for a few weeks now. and a few days ago i was informed that id be learning to give massages and id be helping my mom (since thats her job) which honestly i really dont care. like i’ll do it. ive always known im not going to college (for many reasons; finance being one of them) and well none of us (my family) really cares if i have my diploma or not bc like honestly it doesnt matter all that much considering what i’ll be doing, and my mom really needs an exta hand since 1.) it’s exhausting her and 2.) she doesnt have enough time for anything.

sooooo we started on sunday (bc my mom works a lot during the week as does her bf who i was gonna yk massage) and for my first time i did pretty good. and then i gave one to my sorta-brother which i disassociated like fully i had 0 clue what i was doing but he said i did pretty good. he was like suuuper tense though like extremely. aaaand i managed to get one of his knots out so YAY!

anywhoo that was backstory.

sooooo you remember cute gym guy? so he asked my mom like how does one learn to give massages bc like he wants to learn too and he asked if he could teach her and my mom & her bf talked and they agreed it would do well to teach him bc like then he could take her spot at the beach (since most of her massages now are given at her clients’ homes) and that i could go w him and we could give couples massages (which is really good) and like it would work out very well in many ways. so yeah! now im gonna be spending a loooooot of time w him since we’ll be learning tg and stuff (as if i dont see him monday through friday when im not confined to my home)

and thing is, this guy is cute. like reeeeaaaal cute. and my mom likes him for me. and this morning she was like “i think im manifesting him for you.” and like honestly i would not mind that. i like him. like not like him like him. but he interests me, yk?

anywhoo yeah that was this yap session / life update, writing yaps will come in a bit ❤︎

First : I hate heat season because my sister's dog would always go to street do we know what and I had to take her out of there + is so unpleasant see dogs doing that :<

Second : I hope gym guy treats you well because you too seem sooooo cute !

[amphivine]

heat season SUCKS bc im the only one who can stay home and we cant leave them alone in some part of the house as it’s impractical bc theyll pee everywhere and ruin whatever they find.

EEK thank you lovely! i hope so too ❤︎

[amphivine]

i miss ballet so much ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

[amphivine]

꒰ ❤︎ ꒱ؘ   SOLITAIRE—  ꒰ alice oseman ꒱  thoughts & opinions

#reread ࿐  ࿔  *  : ･ spoilers ahead

right. first things first— i’m not complaining but i lowk guessed the plot very early on during my first read. not exactly who did it but i knew he liked her soooo yeah ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

something i really like about the book is how the mystery of who solitaire is isn’t the main thing. like before my reread i couldn’t tell you for the life of me what the plot of this book is because i remember being so invested in tori and her emotions and for me that was the plot.

i also like how she and michael are paced. and how it isn’t technically a love triangle despite lucas bc she shows no interest in him.

on Tori:

i don’t like how her mother treats her. like, i get theyre all stressed out bc of charlie and stuff, but she literally does not care about tori. or if she does, she doesn’t show it well since tori feels no love from her. maybe this is js the only child in me but it doesnt sit well w me how she always expects tori to be in a way responsible and almost maternal toward oliver.

it also doesn’t sit right w me how obvious it is that tori isnt okay yet no one notices or cares enough to get serious w her. her parents think asking if shes okay is enough when it clearly isnt bc she shuts down and literally spends hours locked away in her room purposefully not eating. also her mental health (imo) is JUST as bad as charlie’s.

i don’t bother changing out of my pyjamas or brushing my hair or seeing if my face actually looks human. i don’t care. i don’t get out of bed, even though i’m hungry, accepting the fact that my unwillingness to get up will probably result in my death from starvation. Then I realize that I can’t possibly let my parents have two children who knowingly starve themselves. Oh God, dilemma. —- Solitaire, page 90.

it’s super obvious in more than just this scene that she isn’t doing well, and. not only is she not doing well but the only reason she— unlike charlie— doesn’t physically harm herself is because she won’t do that to her parents. she doesn’t blame charlie for his mental health but she refuses to make her parents worried for two children, so she opts to isolate herself when things get tough.

she also has no social life, which partly is due to her introversion but there’s a chance that it could be linked to her worrying for her brother. when she goes to becky’s birthday party, she genuinely has a good time with michael. but when charlie has his relapse that same night she rushes home and immediately tries to fix things. while a part of me wonders if she feels guilty for going out that night and having fun because whilst she was having the best time she’d had in a long time charlie was at home struggling, i think that she tries to not go out much in case he needs her. which brings me to my next point:

michael holden is the first person to make her feel wanted outside of charlie, nick, and oliver.

becky, her supposed best friend at the beginning of the book, has essentially grown up while tori hasn’t. i’m not saying this as my own perspective— tori thinks that. she thinks she’s fallen behind while her friend grew up. which, in a way, is true. becky grew into the image of who many girls try to be, and tori grew to be the girl who wishes she were becky— again, this is mentioned by herself in the book. but due to growing apart yet refusing to break the friendship— and their group consisting of girls more like becky than tori— she felt quite seriously unwanted by the people she surrounded herself with.

it may be why she wanted to re-befriend lucas in the first place— to feel wanted. he used to need her when they were children, and he wanted to befriend her again— however that wasn’t what she needed, nor truly wanted (or else she would’ve made the effort to be around lucas more)

now i’m not saying the reason she fell for michael is because she felt seen. she fell for him because he is a real person. he has flaws and quirks and he doesn’t hide— unlike everyone else in her life— and she believes he is a genuinely good person. but feeling wanted allowed her to understand somethings about herself that she couldn’t before. it let her want and care and truly see herself. she grew into someone better because she felt wanted— and no, that doesn’t make her a male-centered character. she genuinely hates herself in the beginning of the book, and his being there doesn’t fix that. but her character growth is centered on being wanted.

think about it for a more than a minute. to love yourself when all you can think about yourself are bad things is an impossible task. all you see is what’s wrong, and people tend to leave when you’re at your lowest. her parents don’t care about her. her brother has his own life and struggles. her little brother is too young to understand. her friends exclude her often. she thinks she sucks. and yeah, valid. not because she sucks but because i’d think the same were i in her shoes. but then comes someone who is like the sun and he cares. he doesn’t leave. he wants to be friends with her— desperately. and she doesn’t get it. in truth theyre both hiding their true feelings and stuff but that’s not the point here. the point is that him seeing something good in her made her realize she isn’t so bad. and it’ll lead to her going from depressed to introverted (there’s a difference guys)

now onto my fav scenes in no particular order (bonus of a few of my annotations):

Becky interjects: “So are you and Tori friends now?” Michael continues to contemplate Lucas before addressing Becky. “That is a fantastic question.” Then he faces me. “What do you think? Are we friends?” I genuinely can’t think of an answer, because the answer in my opinion is definitely not yes, but it’s definitely not no either. “How can we be friends if you don’t know anything about me?” I say. He taps his chin thoughtfully. “Let’s see. I know that your name is Victoria Spring. You’re in Year 12. Your Facebook indicates you were born on April fifth. You are an introvert with a pessimistic complex. You’re wearing pretty plain clothes— jumper, jeans— you don’t like embellishments and fuss. You don’r care about dressing up for people. You’ll have ordered a margherita pizza— you’re a picky eater. You rarely update your Facebook— you don’r care for social activities. But you followed the Post-it trail yesterday, just like I did. You’re curious.” He leans in. “You act as if you care about nothing, and if you carry on like that, then you’re going to drown in the abyss you have imagined for yourself.” —- Solitaire, page 33 ノ34

Oliver studies him with judging eyes. After a moment’s contemplation, he holds a hand up to his mouth and whispers loudly to me: “Is he your boyfriend?” This actually makes me laugh. Out loud. A real laugh. Michael laughs too, and then stops and looks at me while I continue smiling. I don’t think he’s seen me laugh before. Has he seen me smile properly before? He doesn’t say anything. He just looks. —- Solitaire, pages 92

“Would you like to … go out?” I say. Then quickly add: “Today?” He is literally awestruck. Why. Am. I. An. Idiot? —- Solitaire, page 96

His hair looks hilarious. But kind of nice. I can’t stop looking at it. He walks back and passes me, and then turns and holds out his hand. His jumper, much too big for him, flutters around his body. “Coming?” I step towards him. And then I do something, like, really pathetic. “Your hair,” I say, lifting my hand and taking hold of a dark strand that covers his blue eye. “It’s … free.” I move the strand to one side. I then realize what I’m doing, jump backwards, and cringe. For what feels like an ice age, he doesn’t stop looking at me with this frozen expression, and after that I swear he goes a little red. He’s still holding out his hand, so I take it, but that almost makes him jump. “Your hand is so cold,” he says. “Do you have any blood?” “No,” I say. “I’m a ghost. Remember?” —- Solitaire, pages 96 ノ97

“So,” he says, slyly raising his eyebrows with typical Michael suavity. “You hate yourself. I hate myself. Common interest. We should her together.” —- Solitaire, page 253

their snow day ❤︎ —- Solitaire, pages 216 ノ222

[amphivine]

reread solitaire (alice oseman) yesterday (yay me!) (havent read a book in weeks) sooooo prepare for the incoming rant i’ll post tonight on my thoughts, my fav scenes, my fav annotations, aand some observations/theories on things that aren’t outright said but i feel are implied

[katnissisbrown]

Y’all this has me in knots omg

[annyix]

okay okay okay. (telling you this bc i feel like youd match my freak here)

what if, hear me out, we yes WE make up a magic universe (w like a super duper cool magic system) and we make characters who lowk resemble us (personality wise &&. like how we’d like to be) and we gave them love interests that may or may not be our ideal types and we make them have a cute love story w our fav tropes and then we give them plot and a cute happy ending and we write it all tg

what do you think 𖹭 ❤︎

I think we should start assap (not right now right now but yeah I'm totally in)

[amphivine]

YAY eek, i love you!! lemme know when you have time and we can start

[amphivine]

anime so good it had to be nerfed w extreme fan-service (fire force)

[amphivine]

annotating will always be one of my favorite things in the world. ESPECIALLY when rereading

[annyix]

cough cough a gift ノ apology for being so fead recently ❤︎

Heavens bleased me for knowing you! I'll read and give you lots of feedbacks 😝

[amphivine]

thank youu!

alsooo, im giggling bc i did the math yesterday AAANNNDD i realized there’ll be a yule ball in the fic! in 7th year so sadly i’ll have to wait a while, BUUUUT YAY!

𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 and im writing / outlining chapt. 2 ❤︎

[amphivine]

i wonder what ppl think im listening to when i work out, bc i doubt theyll ever guess this is the playlist

[amphivine]

who i thought my old teachers saw yesterday when they saw me:

who they probably saw:

[amphivine]

yesterday i saw someone from my old school at the school my grandmother works at and i js KNEW he transferred (literally everyone in out class was leaving; none of us wanted to be there) and i got suuuuper excited and was literally about to txt my friends bc ik theyd be interested in knowing and they wouldnt know since we all left anyway but then i remembered we don’t talk anymore. and we havent for months.