#or responses

[borderlinereminders]

I’m still working at learning a new language. (Spanish in this case).

The dyslexic and auditory processing make it hard but I’m trying to make it work! Some progress happening here.

Thanks to everyone who left tips on my last post. They’ve been very helpful!

[lostsixpence]

i’m changing my blog

i’ve had a lot of time to myself lately, which hasn’t been good for me.

my mind begins spiraling because of my anxiety, which is only getting worse, and i can’t make it stop. i overthink and stress every tiny detail of everything i encounter each day, because if i plan for every possible outcome, then i should be able to handle it, right? i end up feeling extremely overwhelmed and end up using my ‘spoons’ up too fast. 

i can’t maintain relationships. something i’m just now realizing i don’t think i every really understood. i can’t leave my house alone, if i do, i end up with a stress headache from the anxiety and burn myself out fast. i can’t sleep because i’m anxious about waking up the next day, which leaves me always exhausted. it take days of preparation before i can place a phone call, email are almost never returned, and have become a trigger. ‘what new disaster waits for me today’ 

i feel like i’m faltering or failing at everything i do. expectations are set so high that they are unachievable, and even though i know that, my brain won’t accept it. i’m fully aware i’m operating on flawed logic, but there’s nothing i can do to change it, especially when i’m told on a regular basis of how i’m not good enough, what i do doesn’t matter, that i’m incompetent, the list goes on. and those are things that i encounter in face to face interactions, with my family. that’s not including interactions from any other family, friends, or anyone else. it seems i’m only here to please everyone else, act how they want or do what they want. i’m always wrong, they’re always right.

the psychological, emotional and physical pain are getting to be too much. after my cousin’s death recently, i confided in a few family members, but even still, i don’t feel that i have anyone to talk to. 

i feel like i’ve been slowly dying inside for a long time and only my mask is left. 

[all-mirth-no-matter]

What college really taught me was how to fluff my writing. Give me one sentence of facts or information, and I can write a paragraph on expanding whatever it is with my thoughts, input, an explanation, an experience, ANYTHING.

[theshadowjumper]

It's Quiet....

Too Quiet.