#ordpost

[skeppsbrott]

I have a mutual who every so often remembers that she really, really, really likes Hannibal.

[skeppsbrott]

Being male passing while having tits (especially tits you're not all that dysphoric about) is a lot like being spiritually bound to like, ten oranges.

Because a guy carrying around an orange or two isn't THAT weird, but ten of them? That's kinda weird, and also kinda cumbersome. Theoretically, you could strap them down into a bag and people wouldn't even see them, but then you have this bag you have to carry around, and eventually it gets heavy, or you go to the beach or something and sure you COULD carry the bag with you out into the water but that would be weird but then the option is just to let your oranges loose on the waters and then you'll have to deal with people staring at this guy who's surrounded by what must be a dozen or so oranges, and maybe they'll even call the guard or something because THAT doesn't seem appropriate at ALL to them,

Sometimes you stuff a few in your pockets and carry the rest; kinda cumbersome but three oranges isn't as weird as ten so whatever. Sometimes you have sex with people and they're like hey so what's in the bag and you're like "my oranges," and they're like huh sure I kinda like oranges but then you just fuck surrounded by all these oranges that you're just not into, making your partner feel really weird about interacting with them so they just end up rolling around and being in the way of everything.

And at the end of the day? They're perfectly good oranges, and you feel kinda bad at the thought of throwing them away because of that, and most of the time you can just stuff them in your backpack and when you come home from work you can just pour all of them out in the couch to chill while you watch Netflix.

[skeppsbrott]

@boys-say-go submitted:

du är välkommen

Tack.

[skeppsbrott]

And I say to you the same thing in year 10, as I said in 1981, when there were 41 cases. Until we get our acts together, all of us, we are as good as dead.

How To Survive A Plague (2012)

[skeppsbrott]

If you’re not already, do yourself a service and follow @shrimptin

[skeppsbrott]

So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.

[skeppsbrott]

Den här bilden på Steffe är 1:1 med mitt humör re: rådande politiska situationen

[skeppsbrott]

Fun viking sport

get two persons without sense of self preservation

blindfold them

give each a sack filled with material of your choice, entry level is fabric, if you’re a bit more daring you may go with something like potatoes, if your players have no fear of Odin just fucking fill the sacks with rocks or something

seat both players down on their knees with each their left hand on a tree stump or rock in between them

this exchange follows:

player A: Markus?!

player B: Ja?!

player A: Vill du smaka på min daskus?!

player A proceeds to try and smack player B in the head with their sack while player B tries to dodge

reverse back and forth between Markus and the person doing the dasking

you win when your opponent looses grip of the stone/stump inbetween you

or just whenever the people who put you in this position starts to wonder whether just maybe that priest talking about heaven and hell that the village hanged last month might actually have had a point