Since you brought up the original Toronto workshop version of the show, I should mention that I watched it on YouTube (it's in three parts, called "Seussical slime tutorial" or something) and I really didn't care for it.
I know it was a work-in-progress, but there was so much that didn't work about it compared to the Broadway show. Among the things I personally disliked (aside from Schmitz being a villain)...
A lot of the songs were clunkier ("It's Possible" was much longer)
There were no costumes or sets at all (I've probably said this before, but I really don't think the minimalist look that the creators insisted on was a good idea)
There was an extremely long musical number with Mayzie in Palm Beach that wasn't needed
Jojo didn't reunite with his parents until the climax when the jungle animals are trying to boil the speck, so the reunion is incredibly rushed and lacks the emotional punch of the reunion at the end of "Havin' a Hunch"
Speaking of which, "Havin' a Hunch" was a completely pointless number since it didn't help Jojo get home. It just started up... and then stopped. Granted, this was a problem that extended to the Boston version as well, and wasn't fixed until they cut the Lorax song from the Broadway version and reworked it
We didn't get as much focus on Horton and Jojo's friendship. Not just because we don't have the touching reprise of "Alone in the Universe" just before "Havin' a Hunch", I don't think Horton even mentions Jojo for a long stretch of the play...
I dunno, I've frequently seen folks involved in the play talk about how great the Toronto workshop was and how the Broadway show removed so much about it that worked... and I'm just not seeing it. I think most of the changes made for Broadway were for the best.
I'll share my opinions on each of your points.
The songs being longer. Yeah, I understand what you mean there. Big instrumental breaks with no dialogue can get a little boring at times.
No costumes or sets. Again, agreed! Half the fun of Seuss's books are his colorful, whimsical illustrations!
A Lazy Day in Palm Beach. As much as my friends on the Seussical Discord server seem to like this one, I'm not much of a fan. So again, I agree.
JoJo not reuniting with his parents (or any of the other Whos) until later on. To tell the truth, this is actually an element I enjoyed, but more specifically in the Boston version, because we see Schmitz as the first one to help JoJo down from the balloon he floats into the town square on. I literally had to rewatch the video three to four times to make sure it was Schmitz helping him down and not one of the cadets! Oh, well. At least we have all the additions of Schmitz greeting or thanking JoJo that later stage productions have made (some of which you can see here).
Havin' a Hunch being a pointless song if the Lorax number is there. YES. This is a very unfortunate truth, and I'm saying this as someone who used to defend the Lorax number just for the sake of the scene with Schmitz from the Boston version I described to you.
Not as much focus on Horton and JoJo as friends. Well, to be fair, in the established musical, they don't really talk too much outside of that one scene (or those two scenes, if the reprise of Alone in the Universe is included), and they didn't know each other at all by name in the original book. But I can understand how you feel, given that they definitely do love each other as friends.
I was indeed thinking of adding one or two elements of the past drafts to my "film script", but none of them are these. I'm glad you agree with me on a lot of these points, even if not all of them, and I respect your opinions on the ones we disagree on. Broadway Seussical for the win!
CatCF: The brats before they became famous! (Well, almost all the brats. Three of them. It’s a start)
After studying what Charlie used to look like in previous drafts, it is only fitting to take a peek at who the brats were before they became famous. This post will be about Augustus Gloop, Veruca Salt and Violet Beauregarde. There isn’t much to say about them, so I am sorry for the shortness of this text, but I am forced to leave Mike Teavee out because his case is a special one, and deserves its own entry in my series.
In the first and second draft, there was no mention or explanation at how the bratty kids got their tickets. These bits of backstory only appeared in the third draft, and they stayed unchanged until the final book. Augustus was always the first to discover his ticket, followed by Veruca. Violet was supposed to be the fourth kid to find a Golden Ticket, however when the character of Marvin-Miranda got scrapped from the story, Violet moved from fourth to third position.
In the first draft, Augustus was named “Pottle” instead of Gloop, and he only had one adjective in his description, “greedy”. No mention of him being immensely fat. His fatness would only appear in the second draft, where he was described as a “flabby-cheeked boy with small greedy eyes”. But again, he is just chubby, still not as enormous as he is in the final book. I guess his obesity came when his name was changed from “Pottle” to “Gloop” in the third draft, but I am not sure of it, so it is just a theory.
Interestingly, in the original drafts, the “Chocolate River” room contained merely a river, and nothing else. No chocolate waterfall, no edible garden, nothing but this chocolate river. Another thing that was changed was Augustus’ destination. In the book, Augustus is sent by the pipe to Fudge Room to be turned into a Strawberry Flavored Chocolate Fudge. But in the first two drafts, Augustus was supposed to be sent into the Caramel Room, not the Fudge one, to be turned into the very-similar-but-yet-different Strawberry Flavored Chocolate-Coated Caramel.
As I told you in my previous entry, each of the children used to have a rhyme in the “Ten Little Indian”-like poem sung after their demises. Here was Augustus’:
“Ten little children on the river-bank in line,
One leaned a bit too far out, and then they were nine.”
Veruca Salt also had a different name and appearance in the first draft. In this first story attempt, she was called Elvira Entwhistle, and she was described as a rather sulky little girl. Mr. Wonka also made some comments indicating that she was a quite fat little girl. By the second draft, she became Veruca Salt and lost her fatness, while keeping her sulky character.
Originally the ninth kid to be mentioned in the third draft, she became the sixth one in the second draft. Her demise was always the same: as early as the second draft she was described as being “covered in garbage” while leaving the factory. As for her rhyme, here it was:
“Two little children were having lots of fun.
The squirrels found a rotten nut, and then there was one.”
Finally, we come to Violet Beauregarde. In the first draft, Violet had a different family name: Strabismus (again, making a wordplay about the eyes), and was described as “a large girl with fat cheeks”. It is worth mentioning that notes in the pages of the first draft indicates that, before choosing Strabismus, Dahl used/considered the name “Violet Glockenberry”.
In the second draft, Violet gained her final name of “Beauregarde”, and now became a “small girl with huge jaws”. The second draft also offers us a description of Violet that is quite similar to the one of the final book but still slightly different: “Violet was a perpetual gum-chewer. She chewed the stuff from morning till night, and she would often use the same nasty little piece for days on end. At mealtimes, when she HAD to take it out of her mouth, she stuck it behind an ear for safekeeping. And when she finally decided to discard an old bit of gum and start a fresh piece, she would always carefully press the horrid little sticky grey chewed-up ball on to the underneath of her mother’s saucepan handles, just where her mother put her fingers.”
But what changed the most and, what would have probably changed the whole CatCF if it happened differently, was Violet’s demise. Originally, she wasn’t supposed to turn into a blueberry! Indeed, one crazy fetish would have been averted! The original plan of Dahl was for Violet to merely turn entirely blue before fainting. After that, she would have been taken at a hospital, and Mr. Wonka mentioned that she would keep her blue hair for the rest of her life (suggesting that the rest of her body was able to be turned back to normal). I don’t know exactly when the idea of her turning into a blueberry appeared, but my guess would be the third draft.
As for her rhyme, it was:
“Six little children – how long will they survive?
One stole a stick of gum, and then they were five.”
To end this entry I will mention another detail I forgot to talk about: starting with the second draft, the rhymes of each child was actually coupled with a song, songs similar to the final ones, but actually much longer. I don’t have them, unfortunately, but if you check the original drafts at the Roald Dahl Archives, you can have a look at them.
Edit: I forgot to talk about one very obvious thing. It seems clear that in the original draft, the bratty kids were all supposed to be fat in some sort of way, to contrast with the small, skinny and malnourished Charlie Bucket. The skinny misery against the fat wealthy spoiled brats who swim in an abundance of food, toys and gum.
When I began writing on the original drafts for this story back in 2008, the overall setting was almost completely different than the setting used in the finalized version. This is in part due to me traveling, hiking, and exploring in different places throughout my native East Tennessee, parts of western North Carolina, and the northern part of Georgia. From these experiences, I was able to draw the inspiration, no matter how big or small, to crafting this bizarre town that once stood in the shadow of a mountain cursed by the spirits of the dead.
Throughout the years, this location that would soon be known as Zion Mountain, Tennessee had went through several different names--Big Sunk Oak, Toqua Springs, Dark Hollow, Deliverance, and Zion Hill. Big Sunk Oak and Toqua Springs were originally conceived as taking place in western North Carolina, at the foothills of the Nantahala National Forest. Dark Hollow and Deliverance was imagined to be located in southeastern Tennessee, specifically, somewhere in the Little Tennessee River Valley. Zion Hill, which is the closest incarnation to the finalized version of Zion Mountain, is also located in southeastern Tennessee, near the North Carolina border.
Zion Mountain started its life as a town known as Toqua Springs. The names I had written in the previous paragraph were simply placeholder names until I had finally come to the decision on what I wanted to call it. The name “Toqua Springs” is actually derived from a real location, which can be found outside of Vonore, Tennessee. As I had mentioned, Toqua is a community that lies outside of Vonore. If you intend to drive to Citico through Vonore, then you will be passing through this location while on your way. It’s not a very big place at all and the only distinguishable landmarks are the community center, church, boat dock, and various abandoned buildings that are scattered about the area. It also has a swamp.
The town of Toqua Springs was described in my original drafts as being a “typical small southern town” in western North Carolina. It stood in the foothills of the Nantahala National Forest and boasted a population of approximately 1000 at the time of the last Census. The town’s economy focused mainly on tourism.
Here’s a few of the differences between the Toqua Springs plot and the Zion Mountain storyline--
Toqua Springs:
--Toqua Springs was home to an abandoned TB hospital that was located on the outskirts of town. The TB hospital was not referred to by name, but by its horrifying nickname, the “Death Spiral”. The “Death Spiral” was a building known for its strange architectural style, which resembled a tower with a spiral staircase wrapped around the outside. It was based on the Roundhouse, an infamous abandoned location in Tellico Plains, TN.
--Originally, the TB hospital had a much larger role in the plot. A group of area college students travel to Toqua Springs in hopes of unearthing its secrets. One of them, who was a history major, was writing a term paper on the mysterious structure. The college students lived in the neighboring town of Big Sunk Oak.
--The TB hospital’s very existence was enough to strike fear into the citizens of Toqua Springs. This was due to an abnormally high death toll that was the direct result of a doctor’s negligence. The doctor, who at the time went by the name Howard Larson, was a mentally unstable physician. In some of the original outlines, his instability was caused by the stress of taking care of his patients on his own. In others, he was already at this point, but the stress acted as a trigger. His son, Daniel, was also dying of an unknown illness. As a result, the original incarnation of Dr. Larson suffered a breakdown, causing him to lose touch with reality. Over the course of 5 years, he murdered dozens of his patients. Their remains were thrown in a mass grave that would have been behind the TB hospital. His crimes went largely unnoticed until the state was notified of possible “abuse” that had been taking place there. Larson’s heinous deeds were eventually discovered, much to the horror of everyone in Toqua Springs. He was found mentally incompetent to stand trial and spent the rest of his life in an asylum. In another variation of the plot, he is ironically killed by his attending psychiatrist.
--On the outskirts of Toqua Springs would have been a large swamp, known as Toqua Swamp. Toqua Swamp was not a naturally occurring wetland, but the product of a failed dam that was located somewhere behind the TB hospital ruins. The dam was intentionally destroyed during the 1960s by a mob of angry citizens as a means of “erasing” the memory of hospital. After the land had been flooded, the citizens had sworn themselves to secrecy. They had agreed to never speak of the hospital again. If future generations were to ask about the origins of the swamp, they would be given a “bullshit story” in which the swamp was home to a terrible demon named Kalona Ayeliski. Kalona Ayeliski appears in Cherokee mythology as somewhat of an Angel of Death, appearing to those who were on the verge of dying.
--In the beginning of the original story, the students enlist the help of an ex-police officer named John Smiley to act as a guide to the TB hospital’s ruins. At the time of Dr. Larson’s arrest, Smiley was a rookie cop. He was also a witness to the destruction of the dam. Using a fishing boat to guide them through the swamp, Smiley explains to the group that he decided to break his silence since many of the people involved with the hospital had already passed away. He tells them that everything that they thought they knew regarding Dr. Larson and the TB hospital was completely false and that he would tell them everything after they had explored the ruins.
--The group explores the ruins and is shocked by how intact that it was. They would find many documents scattered throughout the ruins, as well as medical equipment. Eventually, Smiley reveals that Dr. Larson was never taken to an asylum following his arrest. In fact, he was never arrested. Rather than accepting his fate of being locked away for the remainder of his life, Dr. Larson commits suicide by shooting himself in the head. The asylum story was created as a means of removing the shame of such an act. He also reveals that the doctor had only killed 6 people, not the dozens like the local legends had proclaimed. Smiley tells the group that they should present their findings at the next town hall meeting so that the truth could be revealed.
The Zion Mountain plot:
Realizing that I wasn’t getting anywhere with the Toqua Springs plot, I decided to start over again from scratch, starting with the location. I “moved” the town from western North Carolina to southeastern Tennessee. The town was re-imagined as a country village which stood at the base of a fictionalized mountain known as the Unicoi Range. The Unicoi Range had taken the place of Toqua Swamp as the area that caused the most fear and anxiety with the citizens. I had also moved the TB hospital to the higher elevations of this mountain, which was surrounded by a strange, perpetual fog that had not burned off for hundreds of years. The town acted as the “gateway” to the Unicoi National Forest and was the starting point for the scenic Guwahi Parkway.
The communities of Copper Hollow, Torbett Springs, and Laurel Grove lie on its outskirts. The town of Grundy was located about 12 miles northwest. Geographically speaking, the Unicoi National Forest and surrounding area bears a striking resemblance to Tellico Plains, the Cherokee National Forest, the Cherohala Skyway, and the surrounding communities of Coker Creek, Rafter, and Notchey Creek. Grundy is based off my hometown of Madisonville. I'll explain these locations more in depth in another post.
The name, “Zion Mountain”, was inspired by a couple of locations that I'm familiar with. The first variation of the town's name was Zion Hill. This led a lot of people to believe that I was "ripping off” the fictionalized town from the psychological horror series, “Silent Hill”. In fact, Zion Hill is the name of a church in Englewood, Tennessee. The finalized name, “Zion Mountain”, was taken from a church that I attended as a child. It's name? Mount Zion Baptist Church. It can be found in Citico, Tennessee.
I envisioned Zion Mountain as being a typical small town in the south. The population is at less than 1000, creating a very close and tight knit community. The Zion River flows through the middle of town, specifically in the downtown district, where many of Zion Mountain’s restaurants, gift shops, and art galleries were located. Given that it was a “gateway town” to the Unicoi National Forest, many of its jobs focused solely on infrastructure, farming, retail, food, and logging. Zion Mountain was by no means a wealthy town. You may notice that when I make mention of certain citizens of Zion Mountain, the majority of them work either in a factory or work in the logging industry. This shows that although Zion Mountain’s economy was heavily based in tourism, the permanent citizens were forced to find work elsewhere in order to make a decent living for themselves and their families. Even before the Zion Mountain Incident had taken place, the town itself was beginning to show signs of failure, as many of the businesses had went bankrupt. This is attributed to the deadly fog descending further down the Unicoi Range every few years. With each tragedy that had taken place, as well as sightings of strange entities, a certain “zone” would be forcibly shut down and abandoned. By the time the Incident had taken place, the farthest that anyone could travel was up to 1300 feet. Most of the popular campsites and hiking trails had been abandoned, while the others were left in disrepair due to the park service neglecting them. The tourists had simply stopped coming to the area, fearing that their planned vacation may possibly be their last.
In my next installment, I will explain the symbolism and mythology behind the “cursed mountain” and the strange fog. I promise that it will have better writing than what I have presented here. I had to try to gather what I could up from my original drafts that were written in 2008.
