#orrin blogs

[orrinspeaks]

Just finished chptr 11 "Arkansas Traveler" from Midnight Burger.

Omg! Where is my boy?

Poor Ava losing her notes.

Gloria killing it in this episode!

A bittersweet episode, for sure.

Effie is my favorite, but I feel she knows more than all of em....

[orrinspeaks]

Since I can't talk about this on my chronic pain website, because of all the old people, I will say it here...

Chronic pain people can also have sex. Talking about a comfortable position is normal. Talking about how sex can help with your hips is normal. Being sex positive while also dealing with chronic pain is a thing.

I will say there's some people my age, but for the majority it's people 55 and up on this website. The first two people that responded to my little post about being a bit sore after sex had polar opposite reactions. The first was an old man saying, 'Oh, how very dare you do this on this family website' kinda deal, and the next was curious for more details.

This is a sex positive, openly queer space, but I would like to say for those in the back...

Sex doesn't evaporate when you get chronic pain. You don't lose all interest, but it can get in the way a bit.

Okay, just had to get that out of me. Been dealing with my pain by myself with no medication, and last night was the first real night of sleep in 2 months.

❗Big Tip❗

For 18+, if you eat edibles: eat mangoes with it, and it makes it hit a bit harder. I noticed it myself after trying. Thanks Apotheca for the tip. Great for covering up the bad taste, too.

For my chronic pain baddies put there,

Good luck!

[orrinspeaks]

Can't sell my pearls from my mother. No one is wanting pearls, apparently. Fresh water pearls from China, stringed into a necklace.... beautiful, but worthless.

Tried to do plasma today, but don't have an address here so we didn't qualify.

Today is my last day with Planet Fitness. No more bathrooms, showers, water, or a place to wash my under clothes.

I am sorrowful, and barely clinging to hope. We have to spend money to dump our tank and fill our city water. Out in the wilderness of the desert and our food slowly dwindling.

I am terrified.

[orrinspeaks]

Aaaand we are pretty much out of gas. FML! Why did we do this trip? To help a buddy getting out of the service? How are we to help when we are barely surviving!?

I saw stars that were unreal, saw beautiful landscapes, and tried my best to be frugal. We are stuck in a Planet Fitness parking lot and soon we will lose everything.

I am terrified!

I just need gas money....

All I can do is keep putting in applications, and hope.

I am glad for Planet Fitness, but that will expire soon. 😭😭😭

Never had such bad luck! Please send good vibes and memes. The depression is setting in.

[orrinspeaks]

I finally was sleeping. It's been DAYS and some asshat is laying on their horn. I am trying to imagine it's a cute dog, but it is definitely a person. You have a bunch of truckers near you and you wanna keep them all awake?

I am about to have some choice words with this individual! I am hurting, stressed, dehydrated, and massively tired. How can people be so selfish!?

[orrinspeaks]

Job hunting sucks. Had to go through an AI interview. You read that right. Wtf....

AZ is so damn dry that I have a low cough at all times. I'm chugging water, using body butter, and chapstick. What is a dry guy to do?

Sidenote: my appetite is big, but once I actually eat I can barely get anything down.....is this the hormone shift or stress? Someone send help

[orrinspeaks]

Something about me lately: I am filled with a rage I have never felt. It's not explosive, but it is a panther ready to leap at any moment.

Perimenopause is not fun, but this feeling is the worst. I am usually a well thought out positive person. Now? IDK.

Pissed off that trying not to say bad words is damning? I hate the c word and the n word. It's my choice. Why do so many artist say it so dang much. Even the word fuck which I do use, if used excessively I don't like.

Lately if I hear anything Christian I turn it off. I unfollow anyone who blogs it, or talks about it. I have been traumatized by this horrid religion. The golden rule is nice, but everything else is terrible. I accidentally snapped my spouse's CD because it was all Christian music and we agreed to stop using the vernacular/ lifestyle stuff. He was quite upset and valid! It wasn't mine to break. Who is this person???? Me?

Hormones really REALLY mess with your brain.

The brain fog, the itchy ears, the hot flashes, but the rage is something they don't warn you about.

Where do I put this energy? I'm trying to go on walks, but the chronic pain is pretty bad lately. Video games? I don't have electricity, nor the time rn. Art, maybe?

We shall see....

[orrinspeaks]

Finally got a shower! Yaaaay! I feel almost human. Still haven't slept more than an hour a night, but I'm still kicking.

Stressed, on my period (PCOS), the chronic pain has been terrible, and perimenopause has started for me. This is shit! No heat pad to save me. No hot tea, or even certain foods to help.

Any suggestions?

Note: I'm in a RV camper and boondocking