I have to think about every single thing that is said in that final conversation in sdol in front of that fucking door. Big ass rambling under the cut cuz I did a dissection of that scene.
When they first see Dara, they run towards her and Guizo and Chico immediatly hug her. When Dara first sees them, she has some sort of disbelief to her, like they are not real. Not actually there. Carol confirmed that, for her, it seemed like a much longer time since she was in there, alone and forgotten. Why wouldn't she have imagined them coming for her before? Why wouldn't she let herself believe in a lie before her hope started getting crushed?
She confirms she sent the signs, that she could see them, and when she says they forgot her it's such a bitter tone. Such a resentful line. It feels like she is so angry. She says it took a long time for them to remember and to come in that very same way.
The way the transmission sometimes interrupts their conversation. It feels personal and yet it's not. The things it says are almost like to make Dara more sure of going into the door. Just standing there, watching the most important conversation these four ever had. It's ennerving on itself.
She asks where Xande and Morato are and is distressed by the answer. She insists they should be there with them, and yet immediatly understands Xande isn't coming in a cold and direct way. And Lírio insists that he's coming, that he'll arrive soon, refusing to accept what she says as truth. And Chico is devastated, not only by the loss, but also because he feels like he is responsible for Xande's fate. He got the capsule to close and he let Xande stay behind. He feels like he couldn't do anything and this feeling only increases during the conversation as Dara keeps leaning towards the door.
She refuses to go with them and claims she must be there for a reason. After all, if there wasn't a reason, why does she know so much? Why did she suffer so much? Why is she even there? Why did all of that happen? There has to be a reason for that. It can't have been worthless. It can't have been bad luck. It can't have been unpersonal. She has to be the chosen one or else there's no reason for all ot this at all.
Lírio passes on the same feeling he did on many moments of this season: that he doesn't know what is the right thing to say, so he says the first thing that comes to his mind. Chico is desperate, sad and feeling powerless to do anything for his friend, but still trying to goddamn hard to reason with her. And Guizo is quiet for most of it, just absorbing it all, just trying to process all of this without Xande by his side.
How she doesn't want to be rescued anymore. How she claims she knows more, but refuses to share that knowledge. The thin line between arrogance of becoming superior and not wanting to share what made her suffer so much. And she finds reasons to leave, they don't have Morato or Xande anymore, they hurt people and they didn't manage to stop it. Maybe, if she goes, all of this will stop. A small bit of kindness, of not wanting other people to suffer. The narration claiming she has been transformed by the transmission, but the Dara they know still exists inside her.
She dismisses the fact they will miss her, by claiming they were already once without her. They forgot Dara and could move on. If they hadn't remembered her through the signs, they would just be able to move on without her. But Chico says that's why they are there, because they don't want to be without Dara again.
Lírio clinging into Xande's memories, emotions and wishes to tightly, even though he doesn't know Xande forgot it all in his final moments, wanting to keep Xande's legacy alive. Clumsy with his words and his actions but so genuine with his feelings at his heart, he tried to force Dara to leave, but Chico stopped him. Chico understands it's a decision she has to make on her own, even though it hurts like hell to swallow that pill. Her best friend, trying to make her stay, trying to make clear how much he loves her, trying to show how much all of them will miss her, but still respecting whatever her choice may be. And he says he would never wish anything bad for her, and she knows he would not.
The way Dara in general feels just so tired. Like a ghost, one who should not be here anymore. She is tired of this place and what it inflicted upon her, she is tired of waiting for someone to remember her and to come for her, she is tired of the fact they feel so different from her now. She is tired and she wants this all to end, and there is only one end she can think of for all of this.
Chico claiming the only thing the alheios do is to parasite, and it is true. Every creature they've seen, every doppelganger, every sign, every place, every mind, everything we've seen related to the Transmission has been corrupted by it, even her. But she is, indeed, different. Because she is still Dara despite what happened.
And Dara asks why her. Why would they come after her. And it hits deep because she is the chosen one. She is supposed to be special. But, at the same time, she was basically told she was nothing. Nothing upon the transmission, nothing in her friends' forgotten memories. Reduced into just the role of the chosen one. Special, but not enough to be saved. Important, but not enough to be deserving of love. But Chico claims she is special, not for being the chosen one, but for being her, Dara. He claims she is all he wants to be, because she is Dara. Something she was so willing to abandon upon going through the door, something that was reduced to meaningless there, something that brought them all there.
And she claims it's the better way, and they don't understand, and she knows they obviously will not understand and it's frustrating to her. Anything could be better than the trauma she went through. But at the same time, they are stubborn and are there for her and care so much that they all learned to love her again when they remembered.
And Chico knows she genuinely believes this is the best thing to do. He knows she thinks this is the best for all. And he knows she has been changed, but there is still her inside there, and he is trying so hard to reach her so he can convince her the best thing to do is to not cross the door. Dara reached for them before, she wanted to leave with them, but now her will to stay, to fight, has been reduced to be almost unexisting.
Chico says "for her", for Mariana, and it's the same weight of Xande and Morato, the weight of those who died, but she's dettached from death, she's dettached from feeling, she can't reach the grief or the pain in reality and in their legacy. And so Lírio claims that, if Dara is leaving, if she's not gonna carry Xande with her, then he's carrying both Xande and her with him. Even though he's feeling angry and bitter, he loves them and he will grief them and he insists on carrying their legacy and their memories for them.
And her voice cracks when she says once again they forgot her. She's so upset about it, her worth as Dara has been taken away and they forgot her, she meant nothing for them in that while. She was, for a terrifying moment, unloved, alone and with no hope of ever being found again. But they didn't chose to forget her, and Lírio once again choses to not forget her or Xande. And they don't know Xande's fate, but everytime his name is brought up, they mention remembering. Their connection with him, somehow, remains in a bitter and sad way.
When Chico leaves, he thinks he's probably saying goodbye to Dara forever. And so he says "I love you" to his best friend, because he is sure that this is the last time he can do that.
The way when they refer to Estrangeiro, it's "that thing". The thing they can't understand, the thing that started it all, the thing that's traumatized them beyond reality, the thing that took Xande from them. The thing that they know will haunt their minds forever.
And the way the choice is framed for Dara and Guizo is different, cuz it means very different things for both of them. For Dara, that's almost suicide. She's giving up. She doesn't see anymore options, she thinks it's the only way, even if she doesn't actually want to do it. It's a way to end the sufferring, end it all. But for Guizo, that's a dream. A possibility. A chance to see something undescribable, to explore the world, to experience what no one else could. To understand more, to know more about an universe he finds so fascinating in all it's weirdness and horror.
And she gives up on it for him. Because she knows that, regardless of her needing to go, he wants that. He's always wanted something like that, it's his dream. And so she lets him go, without resenting him for it or anything like that. She promises to keep his memories, his videos, just like Lírio did a few minutes ago. And Guizo, when he enters the door, keeps all of them in his memories and his heart.
And this is Conhecimento and Energia, and Dara has been changed by it, by the whole knowledge of it. But Conhecimento is weak to Sangue, the feelings, the pain, the love. And how ironic is it that she's been changed by Conhecimento, but is touched by Sangue. By the love her friends feel for her and the love she feels for her friends, even when her emotions are numbed, she decides to not go because of her friends. Because the whole season is about Os Cinco. It's about their friendship, and it is not over with the season. "Os Três", like Guizo said. Traumatized, in pain, in a world they don't know, but still there. Still together. Still friends.
My friends, the relationships I chose, are the most important thing in my life and this season is my favorite simply because of that. Because I see the love I feel for my friends in it and a tragedy of friendship is the biggest of tragedies to me, but I also see the love and the slight glimmer of hope in the end of it, even when there is the whole pain.
