#osdd journal

[thekinzcollective]

I am a full-time graduate student and I will get my only assignment in on time this week (if I say it it's true)

[citricsystem-moved]

Random list of things for systems to add to a journal:

Especially if y’all struggle with any variation of amnesia

Positive relationships; people who are your friends, will help confused alters/parts, how to contact them, history with them, what they look like, etc.

Negative relationships; people to avoid if they try to reach out, what they did, why it’s bad, who specifically they hurt, etc.

Body information; birthday, school history, height, eye color, things that may need to be known to mask during conversations.

What certain alters/parts need or are trying to work on; ex. “XX is trying to keep their money plant alive,” “make sure ZZ’s cup is clean.” Elaborate on it and why it’s important to them.

Daily/Weekly/Monthly chores; pretty self explanatory. For monthly chores it’s good to keep a date log/reminder to gauge when it needs done again.

Memories you’d like to share; positive memories are always a treat to read in our journal, but also things like “a new stray cat comes around for food, he’s the gray one. He’s sweet but don’t touch his butt.”

[citrus-system]

Regarding the journal stuff, I see a tooonn of systems saying they’d love to journal, but they can never keep up with it or stick to it, etc etc. and I just wanted to say that like

You don’t have to do it everyday. Keeping a journal for us is just how we like to organize information & notes. And on average we write in it once a week

If you want to keep a daily journal, especially for systems that struggle with time recollection, amnesia, and similar stuff, I highly suggest the app Daylio

We have it set up so that even if we can’t write about our day, we can at least keep an entry to log the simple stuff. Here’s how we set it up;

We have an “activity group” for front, and actual activities. This is what our entries normally look like;

Sometimes headmates will write a lot more, and other times we just don’t have the energy. But it’s nice to at least be able to know what we were doing. Hope this helps someone!

[puethar-pb]

With the song Bitter sweet by within temptation.

Today I had my first session with the therapist, and it's the first time ever I talk with a professional about the "voices" and specially about Seth, and I just couldn't say all I wanted to say because the moment I said his name I was crying a lot.

I thought she would tell me for having Seth until my 19-20, I was scared of her telling me I needed medication.

But she was so sweet, she said brains are wise and it's beautiful that he stayed to protect me for so long, she didn't make me feel broken, she was so understanding.

- " Why do I miss him more than my father who died this year?"

-" Because your relationship with him was strong and special and he was so sweet to you".

That made me feel validated and not crazy. She also asked me what I wanted to do, instead of telling me what I had to do.

(And yes, each drawing has different physical appearance, it's because each represents a different stage of out life together)

[citricsystem-moved]

I’ve seen a lot of systems talking about wanting to start a system journal! So I wanted to share some of our pages!!!

We filled our last notebook recently, so this new one is mostly ‘about’ sections so far ♡

Most of our “daily journal entries” are kept in our phone’s notes app, but we use the physical one for therapy sheets, personal expression, and group projects! Once more pages are completed I’ll share some of the more therapy related stuff <33

- 🍓

[freakish-fennec]

aw man (im so spoiled)

- seth

[freakish-fennec]

trying to explain my existence after massive ego death and rebirth is so... isolating.

i was once venti the bard, a determined friend, an empathetic lover, a young and naïve and already broken thing.

yet i sacrificed myself for what i thought would be the better of the universe, and...

to no avail.

now i am barbatos, a haunted god of time, trying desperately to mend broken pieces of what was.

i miss my friends in mond. i miss what could have been.

i will learn to make new friends, i will learn to share my voice again. this is the nature of change. things must change~

♪

~ Barbatos

[freakish-fennec]

I work with an IFS therapist who is also trans and honestly I'm really grateful. She helps me work through my trauma and encourages me to dig deep. I feel like our system runs a lot more smoothly when we're able to define roles and assign proper tasks to each part.

Jaziel has met her a few times now and he's always greeted with respect, which he likes. He's able to vent his frustrations with certain trauma blockages as both co-host and protector. He's learned to curb some of his more 'angry' tendencies, and is learning how to deal with strong emotion.

Dottore... Enjoys being psychoanalyzed. He has his own assessment of self, but he feels it's a relief to have someone else assess him for once. While he may also psychoanalyze her, and has 'inside' commentary at times, he has learned to trust the treatment. Big steps for him!

Seth has yet to meet our therapist, and I'm not sure he wants to. He split most recently and his role is very vague right now. He seems to only exist to play minecraft and drink monster energy! My theory is that the stress of losing my queer platonic polycule brought him around. He exists to be a 'friend', I guess.

I wonder if our new job is going to cause any splits. It's already super stressul and exhausting but we're taking it in stride so far. We have a little 2 day break before we have to clock back in.

Good grief!!! We smoked half a cig we found on the ground and it brought no joy. I think that level of disappointment will steer us clear of nicotine. I was really looking forward to the buzz and I felt nothing. Should have chewed a piece of gum instead.