i regret to inform you that making a gif set of the scene from the raid where sam sees the colt again did not assuage my brain worms it has only made them worse.
i am currently hung up on how different this reaction is to how we might assume dean would react in the same situation. with neither reaction the “better” or “right” one. just different and demonstrative. bc i envision dean reacting in a way similar to the way he behaves earlier in the episode when mary tells them about her working with the bmol. arms crossed. jaw clenched. his shock and hurt quickly walled behind stoic anger. “the face,” as mary calls it.
and there is a degree of stoic anger in sam’s reaction too. the indignation in his voice when he demands, “where’d you get this?” but sam practically exhales that accusatory question. where dean is tight lipped, nostrils flaring, sam is agape, unable to catch his breath. he gasps and sighs and huffs and sniffs. don’t even get me started on how his eyes immediately well up.
and for a moment there, sam almost succeeds in tucking away the intense emotions that seeing the colt—holding it in his hands again all these years later—resurrected. but then mary throws him for another loop. she stole the colt. from ramiel. and kept that information from them. and sam goes into a tailspin as another wave of shock and disappointment and grief play out across his face. he doesn’t know where to look. his eyes darting, then closing tight. and still full of tears. but sam coils himself back up as quickly as he unravels. “i don’t have space for that now,” he tells himself perhaps, as @sambrosia wrote in the tags. sam nods. he assumes the face.
right. right.
