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C o m e n o w running headlong into my arms B r e a t h l e s s

||COUNTDOWN || SEASON 3 EPISODE 10 || HEAVEN AND EARTH ||

#83daysofoutlander☆

Over the next few days, a routine set in, as it does in even the most desperate circumstances, provided that they continue long enough. The hours after a battle are urgent and chaotic, with men’s lives hanging on a second’s action. Here a doctor can be heroic, knowing for certain that the wound just stanched has saved a life, that the quick intervention will save a limb. But in an epidemic, there is none of that. Then come the long days of constant watching and battles fought on the field of germs—and with no weapons suited to that field, it can be no more than a battle of delay, doing the small things that may not help but must be done, over and over and over again, fighting the invisible enemy of disease, in the tenuous hope that the body can be supported long enough to outlast its attacker. To fight disease without medicine is to push against a shadow; a darkness that spreads as inexorably as night. I had been fighting for nine days, and forty-six more men were dead. Still, I rose each day at dawn, splashed water into my grainy eyes, and went once more to the field of war, unarmed with anything save persistence—and a barrel of alcohol. There were some victories, but even these left a bitter taste in my mouth. I found the likely source of infection—one of the messmates, a man named Howard. First serving on board as a member of one of the gun crews, Howard had been transferred to galley duty six weeks before, the result of an accident with a recoiling gun-carriage that had crushed several fingers. Howard had served the gun room, and the first known case of the disease—taken from the incomplete records of the dead surgeon, Mr. Hunter—was one of the marines who messed there. Four more cases, all from the gun room, and then it had begun to spread, as infected but still ambulatory men left the deadly contamination smeared in the ship’s heads, to be picked up there and passed to the crew at large. Howard’s admission that he had seen sickness like this before, on other ships where he had served, was enough to clinch the matter. However, the cook, shorthanded as everyone else aboard, had declined absolutely to part with a valuable hand, only because of “a goddamned female’s silly notion!” Elias could not persuade him, and I had been obliged to summon the captain himself, who—misunderstanding the nature of the disturbance, had arrived with several armed marines. There was a most unpleasant scene in the galley, and Howard was removed to the brig—the only place of certain quarantine—protesting in bewilderment, and demanding to know his crime.

As I came up from the galley, the sun was going down into the ocean in a blaze that paved the western sea with gold like the streets of Heaven. I stopped for a moment, just a moment, transfixed by the sight. It had happened many times before, but it always took me by surprise. Always in the midst of great stress, wading waist-deep in trouble and sorrow, as doctors do, I would glance out a window, open a door, look into a face, and there it would be, unexpected and unmistakable. A moment of peace. The light spread from the sky to the ship, and the great horizon was no longer a blank threat of emptiness, but the habitation of joy. For a moment, I lived in the center of the sun, warmed and cleansed, and the smell and sight of sickness fell away; the bitterness lifted from my heart. I never looked for it, gave it no name; yet I knew it always, when the gift of peace came. I stood quite still for the moment that it lasted, thinking it strange and not strange that grace should find me here, too. Then the light shifted slightly and the moment passed, leaving me as it always did, with the lasting echo of its presence. In a reflex of acknowledgment, I crossed myself and went below, my tarnished armor faintly gleaming.Elias Pound died of the typhoid four days later. It was a virulent infection; he came to the sickbay heavy-eyed with fever and wincing at the light; six hours later he was delirious and unable to rise. The next dawn he pressed his cropped round head against my bosom, called me “Mother,” and died in my arms. I did what had to be done throughout the day, and stood by Captain Leonard at sunset, when he read the burial service. The body of Midshipman Pound was consigned to the sea, wrapped in his hammock. I declined the Captain’s invitation to dinner, and went instead to sit in a remote corner of the afterdeck, next to one of the great guns, where I could look out over the water, showing my face to no one. The sun went down in gold and glory, succeeded by a night of starred velvet, but there was no moment of grace, no peace in either sight for me. As the darkness settled over the ship, all her movements began to slow. I leaned my head against the gun, the polished metal cool under my cheek. A seaman passed me at a fast walk, intent on his duties, and then I was alone. I ached desperately; my head throbbed, my back was stiff and my feet swollen, but none of these was of any significance, compared to the deeper ache that knotted my heart. Any doctor hates to lose a patient. Death is the enemy, and to lose someone in your care to the clutch of the dark angel is to be vanquished yourself, to feel the rage of betrayal and impotence, beyond the common, human grief of loss and the horror of death’s finality. I had lost twenty-three men between dawn and sunset of this day. Elias was only the first.

48 MOMENT OF GRACE ~voyager

#outlander #outlanderedit #outlander starz #outlander series #outlander fanart #the frasers #claire beauchamp #claire fraser #dr claire randall #caitrionabalfe #outlander season 3 #outlander book #outlander books #outlander 3x10

wonderful analysis on the Knox scene, and I completely agree that Jamie will do anything, even give up his honour for things he holds most dear. And I loved the shot of him before he gets off from his horse and overlooking his home and Claire, everything he did up to this point, is exactly for that what he now beholds

hello there!

weel, thank ye! that’s very kind of you to say.

that scene is a tough one and i understand why many people don’t agree that it fits with jamie’s characterization. but, like i pointed out, jamie has killed many a men who stood in the way of claire or his family. and he will kill more...

as he has himself said, “[for love] you would move heaven and earth, you would risk arrest and death. even hell. you would do it as easily as...prick of a pin.” so it’s not a fun scene at all, i don’t want to rewatch it, but in my mind, it’s not outside of the realms of what jamie would do when forced.

yes! you’ve said it perfectly: “everything he did up to this point is exactly for what he now beholds.” AND OH MY HEART YES. IT IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR WORDS:

his entire being relaxes when he arrives home and sees claire in their garden. she’s home. he’s home. they are home in each other. all is well.

jamie fraser is not a perfect man, but he’s a good man. and he fights for what he loves. and he loves claire beauchamp randall fraser (rawlings lol).

for her he would give it all. and he has.

#answers #lets chat about outlander #ask away #outlander #outlander character commentary #outlander show commentary #outlander 3x10 #outlander 5x5

Season 3 Ep 10

Basically, this naval vessel has a terrible plague and now that they have Dr Claire aboard to sort them out they raise the sails to high tail it to their destination with little care for honor or Claire’s wishes.

If only had a man that would angrily shout “my wife my wife” while threatening to kill a man.

Also, this 12 year old boy doing the 12 year old boy equivalent of shouting “my wife, my wife” and ordering this misogynist in a vest to drink his respect women juice. We didn’t kidnap this woman for nothing! respect her!

This boy loves her. So much! A compliment by a pretty older lady is an arrow to the heart. Of course this means he will die

Oh they have a thyphoid Mary. Educating the world about disease is hard work

Thank you Fergus for being the voice of reason. Jamie is being a right cunt, dangling his approval for Fergus’ marriage in exchange for his help orchestrating a very stupid mutiny.

I was unaware of this burial at sea nose threading ritual. Thank you

Hopefully the love of this 14 year old boy is enough to keep Claire safe. And his lucky rabbits foot! What a sweet little man.

This one eyed asshole

Really relishing this twin peaks log lady mood with goat lady’s “my goats need grass” cryptic saying.

Fergus learns the truth of love. He won’t participate in your cockamamie scheme, Jamie, because it means 20 gross dudes will rape his lady once they are all dead

Of course this brave sweet boy must die

Love this grass plot. Goat lady’s goats need grass and by god they will have it. Claire will try to sneak off to warn Jamie that this ship’s captain is coming to arrest him.

Oh foiled by this little anti sedition weasel

This little Scandinavian lady is a regular Harriet Tubman. She flings Claire out into the sea on a raft of barrels.

#outlander season 3 #outlander 3x10 #outlander