Grief and this fandom's unnecessary reaction to it
I been wanting to comment on this since the nutty backlash of this fandom due to Season 6's reactions to death. Elena misses Bonnie and acknowledges that her death makes her sad but Damon's makes her insane. Elena see's this. First people get upset Elena is going crazy with grief over to what the writers called the love of her life, that she's using witchy drugs to see him and being all dangerous. Then they get mad she resorted to asking Alaric to erase all her memories of loving Damon. Not of Damon. She asked to forget loving him. Then they get upset over that. (mostly DE people)
I admit as a DE person it made me sad, but I get why she did. She understood her way of grief was dangerous. The only way to keep her from slaughtering the whole town was to fix her broken heart. So she did. Do I like it? No. Do I understand it all yes. Now onto Stefan. Do I think he is being a dick to some people?
Yes he has his moments this season. But he just lost his brother and he thinks he isn't getting him back. He too is grieving in his own way whether fans agree with it or not. It's realistic for people to handle death differently and sometime it's dramatic like Elena or sometimes it's indifference and trying to move on like Stefan. Whatever gets the person through something.
Just because we don't like how a character (or person) grieves doesn't make it necessarily "wrong." Stefan is not a dick he's just sort of being one right now because he thinks if he can just say my brother isn't coming back, he's dead he can move on. He needed to get away and not think about everyone. If moving on is how he's coping right now I support it. I don't like it. I support it. There's a difference sometimes. Sometimes you have to still Stan a character even when they do something you hate. Because you get the why. Same for Elena.
She's not crazy, she's just was being a little crazy over Damon. She realized it wasn't healthy how she was grieving and asked Alaric to help. Is it a dramatic step that isn't fair to Damon? yes but Damon will understand why she did it if he gets back with Bonnie.
There's a difference between character hate and hate of something a character you like has done. No character deserves actual character hate for how the writers chose to write them grieving. Just my two cents on that matter.