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Me: Oh god I have to get them to a sex-place by the end of this chapter
(faceplants)
(doubts everything ever written)
Kael: (hides previous pages from author)
(points author at blank space underneath)
me: Yes but if I don't build the relationship believably...JENGA
Kael instinctively interprets JENGA as a war cry.
Kael: Like, the Army says hooah, the Marines say hoorah, and sexually-frustrated fiction writers say JENGA!
When the only person I have to flail at is my non-shipper beta:
Kael: Commence with the porn.
DK: Porn? Who needs porn! LOOK AT THE CUTE.
Kael: Yeah, that's not porn at all.
DK: I am slightly concerned that you see porn in ice skating where even I can't.
Kael: Well, only because you're neck deep in it. I can see Tumblr from above in my News 10 NBC helicopter. And their reactions to "hot" and "cute" are altogether parallel.
Kael: The difference between "squee" and "orgasm" is 90% pitch.
"Stupid Mubarak gettin' all up in my Kwillow."
Kaelri, on why school sucks when he really really wants me to be writing fic.
Because Kael is brilliant, and makes me laugh. From a recent chat log:
Kael: Some Tea Party guy on a forum was arguing that... here it is: "For those of you from Europe, we do not have a tradition of being "ruled" like you do... In our tradition, the people are the rulers, and we tell the government what to do, not the other way around." And I wanted to do the math by way of demonstrating that our "traditions" aren't actually separate.
me: Ugh. I am actually offended by that. I'm used to being offended on the part of the MENA, not so much Europe. I mean, seriously, man?
Kael: Remember, it's not malevolence, it's ignorance. These are people who, on some level, really believe that the world was created around 1925. me: In which case I wish they'd take a look at about 1939. Sigh.
Kaell: Wellll they don't like that part. Every night at bedtime they tell me to skip that chapter, and I'm like "kids, I know it's tough to understand, but this is the part that's going to help you someday," but they're like "NO WE WANT REAGAN" and there's nothing I can do.
The Value of having a Non-shipper Beta
"A good story doesn't require the reader to a) know who Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson are or b) care if they're pretty." -Kael
