| VULTURE | PART TWO | RORONOA ZORO
summary: after (sort of) confessing his feelings for you in the middle of the alabasta dunes, zoro now has to deal with you focusing more on the mission and the aftermath than him. in any other scenario, it wouldn't be too tough - but, when celebrations finally come around and your drinking skills make an appearance, how come you end up in his bed every night?! [set - alabasta]
pairing: roronoa zoro x straw hat! reader
wc: 3.3k
tags: this is a part two! f! reader, enemies to lovers, fluff, filler (wandering through the desert, zoro v mr. 1, then celebration), you lowkey aurafarm, still blunt, still rude, still snarky, zoro is in DEEP, you are too but you fight so hard not to show it, suggestive undertones, slight canon divergence (he needs a little help against Mr. 1, Mr. 3 died on Little Garden), the feast for Alabasta is over multiple days, haha you have an iron fist (metaphorically) and that's funny later, you guys drink a LOT
a/n: you ask and you shall receive - i will live and die by the fact that zoro is FUNNY
first chapter <-
Zoro was hot and bothered.
Well, sure. Hot - he was in the desert, huffing as he lugged around the bag of berries and heavily hand-filtered water you'd tossed to him. The sun was blazing, there was no breeze, and even worse, you yelled at him for drinking water while you carried absolutely nothing, shading your eyes as you looked for more resources.
Bothered? That, too, was entirely your fault. A week, now, he'd known you. And all seven days, you were positively torturous.
"Why don't we finish this job for Vivi, and you can find me after?" The words flashed in his mind, your smug smile gleaming in his thoughts, and he stopped in his tracks, panting.
You turned around, one eyebrow raised. "Getting tired, little swordsman? We're almost at the meeting point, you know. Just hold out."
"Did you mean it?" Zoro asked, hand tightening around the strap of the heavy resource bag. Slinging it back over his shoulder, he staggered towards you, hot forehead leaning against your shoulder.
"Mean what?" You replied, slipping your hand under his headdress to check his temperature. He was perfectly fine. "You good, swordsman?"
"That I could come find you. After." He looked up at you, gaze lingering on your sweaty neck.
You snorted, pushing his face back with your finger on his nose. "What, like you know me to be a liar? Yeah, Zoro. Let's save Alabasta, and then you can come find me."
"'Kay." He grumbled, pushing his cheek against your palm. "Promise?"
"Stop dawdling, swordsman." You harrumphed, flicking his cheek and walking off towards Yuba. "We have a stupid captain to meet, and resources to split."
You looked back, a couple feet ahead of him now. He was still in the exact same stance, head lowered right where your palm once was, bag heavy on his back.
Not only had you not let him fulfill the promise yet, but he also owed you. Which was almost the worst outcome possible - Nami was a hustler, Vivi made you feel so guilty for owing that you ended up owing more, and you?
Man, you were straight up mean. You'd berate him to the end of the earth. You'd challenge him to drink and make sure he woke up with a raging headache - the only person to outdrink him, the only one who somehow sniffed out liquor before he did. You'd gamble while drinking, and on top of waking up with his head throbbing, his wallet was empty. The only soul on the boat you'd ever show mercy to was Chopper, who you took care of like your own flesh and blood.
Yet, it somehow got worse. He didn't owe you money - he owed you his life.
A swordsman versus a man made of steel. A man, sharp at every point, with further reach than he, lethal through touch of any limb. When the man cut down the bridge above Zoro, rocks cascading downwards, it was you who pulled him out and to the side, rapidly avoiding the debris as you set him down gently on the ground.
He wavered in and out of consciousness, losing blood at a devastating pace. You tossed him a roll of bandages swiftly, and he caught it, arms shaking.
"My fight is with the swordsman." Mr. 1 stated calmly, pointing his jagged fingers at you.
"He's unavailable." You replied swiftly, sprinting towards your opponent. Jabs and slashes came your way, but you evaded, fist slamming on the top of his iron-hard head.
"I recognize you." The agent groaned, stepping backwards. "You worked for Crocodile, taking on temporary jobs that were too inconvenient for others. The phantom agent, [Name] the Iron Fist."
"Lame. Super lame name." You grunted, closing the distance to swipe at his face once more.
He dodged, arm jabbing at your neck. You sidestepped, dashing backwards to where Zoro was. He didn't look good - pallid, panting, sweating heavily.
"You killed Mr. 3." The agent stated. "You've carried out your goal. Why do you intervene now?"
"I have a promise to keep." You said, stepping in front of Zoro. "One that can only be carried out once this country is free."
"I'm not a good match for you. You know that. Fists cannot beat steel. You have no powers."
"Wrong. I ate the Fist-Fist fruit, which gives me the ability to shove my whole fist up your fucking ass." You snarked, before disappearing on the spot.
Mr. 1 grunted in annoyance, aggravated at your sass. The wind flowed by his ear, and he jabbed his arm forward.
"B-bitch..." You groaned, as Mr. 1 pulled his razor-sharp fingers from out of your bleeding shoulder. "You'd better... win..."
"Speak up." Mr. 1 demanded, stepping forward to take hold of your neck.
"Zoro... you owe me... big time... bastard..." You trailed off, eyes rolling into the back of your head.
"Yeah." Zoro huffed from behind Mr. 1, causing the agent to turn around in shock. "I'll find you. Later."
"I would really like to get up." You complained to Vivi, who was pushing your shoulder back into the hospital ward bed. "Come on, let me help repair the kingdom or whatever."
"No." Vivi warned, pushing you back. When you kept getting up, she sat on your stomach. "No! Listen here, you almost lost your whole arm! You get that? Your whole arm."
"Sure." You nodded, picking your ear. "And then I was well enough to fall asleep and miss literally everything until it was all already resolved. I think I'm pretty okay."
"No, you lost consciousness!" Vivi, Chopper, and the palace doctor yelled.
"No, I was asleep. Plus, I’m good with my fists.” You nodded firmly. "I've decided."
"It's not a matter of deciding! And you being good with your fists still has nothing to do with it!” Chopper shouted, running over to hit you on the head. "Doctor and princess' orders! Rest!"
You scowled viciously, but lowered yourself back into bed anyways, immediately falling asleep and snoring aloud.
"She fell asleep!" Vivi and Chopper's jaws dropped. Loud snoring erupted from the other side of the nursing ward, drawing attention. Zoro's mouth was wide open, drool dripping out of his mouth and onto the pillow as he slept, heavily bandaged, holding his swords. "Zoro fell asleep as soon as she did!"
"Two dolts..." Usopp and Nami sighed. Terracotta walked in then, hauling a ginormous cart of fruit for Luffy, which he swiftly inhaled. "Three dolts..."
"I'm hungry!" Luffy stated.
"You just ate everything! Wait for dinner!" Nami yelled, whacking his head.
"Now, I'm just wondering. As we prepare a feast over the next few days, we wanted to know what kind of alcohol you all prefer. Or other drinks for that matter-"
"Alcohol?" Two drowsy voices chimed. "Where?"
"They're awake!" Vivi and Chopper shouted, faces pale in shock. "Just at the word alcohol!"
"Where?" You and Zoro said groggily, rubbing your eyes at the same time. "What alcohol?"
"No, dears. I was asking what kind of alcohol you'd like for your next meals." Terracotta laughed gently. "If you had a preference."
"Sake!" Zoro retorted. You glared at him fiercely, shoving your middle finger in the air.
"You greedy pig." You spat. "There's multiple meals, she said. Multiple! We can have different alcohol! Lots of it!"
"Shut up!" Zoro retorted, pointing a finger at your face. "You are not drinking! You could've lost an arm! One whole arm!"
"Who are you to talk?!" You flung your pillow across the room, Nami and Usopp ducking. "Your torso's all cut up! Annoying! Stupid! Ugly bastard!"
"Hey, now... What've me and Sanji said about honesty?" Usopp sighed. Sanji threw his cigarette at Usopp - a quiet statement. I'm too tired. Keep me out of this. Whatever happens.. Side with [Name]-chwan.
"We're surrounded by weirdos!" Usopp and Nami groaned.
"Now, listen here..." Zoro growled, sharpening his eyes.
"No, you listen." You warned, eyes glinting with mischief before a smile spread across your face. Zoro flinched back, scrambling to the corner of his bed. An evil, evil smile. "Oi, Zoro. You owe me."
His face paled. Shit. You remembered.
"So, tonight. We're drinking. Everything."
"Come on, Zoro!" Usopp said, patting his back. "You can outdrink anybody!"
"Hey, Usopp." Luffy blinked, picking his nose. "You passed out last time we drank, but it was Zoro who lost, you know?"
"What?!" Usopp shrieked, gasping in shock. "No... Zoro... Save yourself..."
"Hah?! Are you quitting already?" You burped, wiping your mouth and slamming down the empty pint of beer. "Another! Let's keep drinking! Come on, Zoro."
"Sorry..." He whispered, hand reaching across the table to grasp yours. "You got hurt... 'Cause of me.."
You blinked, grabbing another pint of beer and chugging half, before smacking his head. "Sap! Stop bein' sad and drink more."
The guards' stomachs hurt from laughing - your antics, combined with Luffy's, had utterly defeated them and they were all curled up fetal position on the floor.
King Nefertari blinked, before turning to the decently sober Nami. "Are your two crewmates over there dating?"
Nami giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at Vivi. "Are they? Well... Not yet!" They burst into laughter, getting out of their seats to dance and laugh.
You burped loudly, slamming down Zoro's ochoko of sake. "Zoro, wake up!" He snored soundly, still holding your hand, drooling on the table. "Jeez... Guys, I'm gonna take Zoro to his room!"
"Oho?" Nami, Vivi, and King Nefertari smirked, before whispering among themselves and bursting into laughter, the king now joining the dance circle. "Yes, have fun with that!"
You blinked, cheeks red from alcohol. "Okay." You walked over to the other side of the table, slinging Zoro over your good shoulder.
Passing Chopper on the way out, you felt his hoof tap your waist. Groggily, he said "...no high-energy activity while you're injured."
Your ears flushed further. "Come on, Chopper. I'm just bringing him back."
He smirked, still half-asleep. "That's what he did, too, when you fell asleep in our room."
You snorted and left. While you carried him to his room, Zoro's hand sleepily drifted to your waist, rubbing small circles into it. "Thank you... you're so nice to me..."
"You said I was too mean to you just a day ago." You sighed, pushing the door of his room open and lumbering in. You were dizzy now, floor spinning, but you managed to put him into bed anyways and stripping his shirt and pants off.
I don't like sleeping in my day clothes. They make me warm. He'd said that to you once.
"I like when you're mean to me." He said sleepily, holding his arms out. You blinked, then promptly passed out.
This cannot continue, Zoro has decided. It was rare to have your own room as a pirate, let alone a room with a good, decent bed size and a door that you alone could lock.
Yet, how is it that even with these privileges, he can still hear laughing from outside his door? Nami, of course - and naturally, Vivi too.
"Told you..." they laughed, muffled, "told you she'd sleep here!"
Who? Who sleep where? Zoro started to get up, before realizing his arms were incapacitated. Looking down - what the fuck?
You again. Snoring. Drooling. One foot sticking out of the blanket. Reeking of the heaviest, yet somehow most charming liquor smell he'd ever had the (dis)pleasure of experiencing. Clinging to his bandaged chest, his arms wrapped firmly around you.
His eyes bulged out of his head.
Come find me after. That's what you said - so how come you were in his room?! Memories came flooding back; keg after keg of beer, bottle after bottle of wine, endless ochokos of sake. You dragging him back, him silently pleading for you to say.
But you hadn't even meant to stay! You passed out. Zoro groaned at this revelation, somehow just a little upset over it. This meant that you didn't exactly seek him out - your crashing here was a total accident.
He frowned at this, brushing your hair out of your eyes. But then, maybe it was something in itself that you'd brought him back and felt safe enough to just pass out here, even with your instincts.
It made him feel just that little bit better. Gently prying your hands off his waist, he got out of bed, picking his clothes off the floor and getting dressed. He threw the blanket back over you, keeping your foot out, and headed for the door.
Opening it, his frown grew even deeper. Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Vivi, Sanji (still very upset at this development), Luffy (sleeping on the floor with a piece of meat in his mouth), King Nefertari, Igaram-! All awake individuals grinned at him once he stepped out.
Whatever. He walked away.
"Hey, Zoro!" Nami whispered. "You forgot to close the door. Your girlfriend is reaching for you in the empty bed!"
He froze in his tracks, grimacing. Turning over his options in his brain, he racked his mind for possibilities.
Shit. None of the possibilities sounded as good as going back to bed. He sighed, turning around and trudging back to the room, the door locking behind him.
"He locked the door!" King Nefertari giggled.
Stupid old man. He sighed, peeling his shoes off again by the bedside. Your arms were where he was, and you grabbed at the pillow like it was his face. He sighed some more, than peeled his clothes off and got back under the covers.
"More." You said, slamming down an ochoko stolen from Sanji.
"Gods, she drinks like an endless pit." King Nefertari sighed, signaling for more liquor. Sanji ran in from the kitchen, carrying yet another bottle of wine and sprinting to your side.
Zoro appeared out of nowhere, snatching the bottle from his grasp and pouring it for you. Sanji's brows furrowed.
"You know what my issue is." Zoro said, drinking out of the bottle when he finished pouring. "You were outside this morning, just like everybody else."
"Have you done anything yet, moss-head?" Sanji smirked, lighting a cigarette. "Or are you just going to keep hoping she wanders back to your side all the time?"
"Feelings can't be rushed!" Nami and Vivi squealed from the end of the table.
"Sanji! More dessert!" Nami added, holding her plate up.
Zoro turned to you, sweat dripping down the side of his face as he saw you finish another bottle. God, you were insatiable. And pretty. Your hair looked really good. Your eyes were so beautiful-
"I tap out!" He shouted, hands slamming at the table. You were distracting. He had to get back to his room! "I'm going to bed early!"
He left the dining hall, walking at an unusually brisk pace for a drunk man. Opening his door, he untied his swords from his hip and set them gently by the entrance. Shutting the door behind him, he sighed, peeling his clothes off and flopping into bed. It was so warm, and he was so dizzy.
He knew you were going to be a problem. He groaned, feeling his face redden again just at the thought of you. Pretty. Messy. A slob. Drooler. Snorer. Fighter. Risk-taker. Violent. Brutish. Attractive.
He admitted it. He was in love with you for the strangest possible reasons. He sighed, defeated, turning to sleep on his side, before the door flung open.
"Um, hello? This is my room." He huffed, sitting up from bed - but the door had already shut. In the dark room stood a very familiar figure, wobbling side to side, approaching the bed. "You again? Jeez... What is this, some kind of curse? You only sleep with me when we're both drunk out of our minds?"
"Move, Zoro." You sniffled, pushing him to the side to crash on the bed. "I'm mad at you."
"What'd I do now?" He groaned, putting a hand atop your head lightly. "Come on, look at me, pretty. What'd I do?"
You turned to face him, eyes watering. He froze. Who the fuck knew you could cry?! Legends never spoke of evil witches crying.
"You... never came to find me..." You whimpered, a tear flowing down your face.
His eyebrows furrowed. "I was too drunk yesterday. And you were too drunk today. We are too drunk. All the time."
"Who cares?!" You shouted, hitting his shoulder. He sat there, letting you hit him for a bit, before sighing again.
"I care." He replied simply, holding your wrist and kissing your palm. "You know that."
"Could've fooled me. Sword-hoarding bastard."
"What, you want me to ask now? Impatient woman." He grinned, cheeks still red. "You're drunk. Let's go to sleep."
"No." You refused, sticking your pointer finger up his nose. He shouted, squirming. "Ask me now."
"Ask you what?" He smirked, pinching your cheeks and pulling them apart. "You know, you're cute when you're not yelling at me."
"Shtop it! Bitch!" You swatted his hands away. "You know what I want you to ask me. Ask me, and I'll fall asleep and maybe even kiss you a bunch."
"Yeah?" His smile grew wider. "Promise? And you'll remember in the morning too?"
"Yesh!" You insisted, sticking your other pointer finger up his other nostril, making him groan in disgust. "Sho ashk!"
"Alright, woman. God, you're ridiculous. Loud. Impatient. Annoying. Rude. Sloppy."
"Ask like you like me!" You said firmly, stating his side.
"I'M NOT DONE!" He retorted, swaddling you in the blanket and watching you flail. "Yeah, you're warm, aren't you? Stay like that, since you won't stop yammerin'!"
He sighed, but chuckled a bit, watching you squirm about in the bed. "But you're kind too, when you want to be. Impatient because you can't wait for good things. Loud, to fill up the silence of a room. Rude, yet honest. You live like there's simply no tomorrow. You fight next to me like there might not be one. And, honestly? I've never met a single soul that could outdrink me while stealing all my money at the same time."
You paused your squirming, looking up at his smiling face from on the bed. His eyes were warm, like looking at you was looking at a midday sunny sky.
"I love you, even though you scavenge like a vulture and make me drag around all your shit. Even though you like me and don't even let me drink water in the desert."
"Well, that would be selfish." You nodded, pondering drunkly. "We should save as much water as possible until everybody gets a share."
"Selfless, too." He grinned. "I like that."
"What do you think all of that was?!" He yelled, chopping you on the head.
"A declaration of love." You said blandly. "But you didn't ask."
He slumped into bed, hands over his reddened face. Then, he turned to face you, still swaddled. Seeing your pouty, flushed face, he smiled. In return, you couldn't help but grin too.
"That's the strangest way I've ever heard anyone ask someone to be their girlfriend." You said, rolling out of the bed and unfurling the blanket, before jumping back on to put him in a headlock.
"Grrk!" He choked rocking back and forth. "Gerroff! Gerroff!"
You laughed loudly, but released him, watching him gasp for breath before shouting when he poked you in your side. "Answer! I asked!"
"Okay!" You relinquished.
"Okay. Yeah, I am. I'm yours." You said, throwing the blanket back over the two of you. Zoro sat up, pulling the blanket back so your leg stuck out.
"So? Nami grinned mischeviously at you and Zoro, wiggling her eyebrows. "Did you make Vivi and her dad proud?"
"Why would you say it like that?" Usopp frowned. "That's totally gross."
"Bitch finally asked." You nodded resolutely, finally sober.
"Hag finally accepted." Zoro said, pinching your side.
"Oh! What're the rules this time?!" Luffy shouted from the head of the Going Merry. "Which one of you is bitch?!"