#overthiking

[lunamarish]

The storms in my head ruin the garden that my soul holds.

Le tempeste nella mia testa rovinano il giardino che custodisce la mia anima.

[tulipsempai]

Hi Tulip! I haven't asked you questions for a long time, but now I'm back! (But probably not for long)

So, do you think if you became super popular one day, would you be able to survive it? And do you think you will be ready for the fact that you will have many fans, but they can easily slander you and hate you? And in general, how do you feel about popularity?

Oh, and also, your comics are great as always, thank you for your creativity ♡

Sup :> Glad to hear about you again and also thank you for you compliment, I am happy to know that you like my art ^^

If one day I become that popular, I think I would quit the fandom. Maybe.

I think that being a little popular is a sad experience, sure it's nice to recieve asks almost everyday, have many likes and reblogs and sometimes fanarts. But there are so aspect of it that just makes me sad.

Ranting

I have people coming to me asking me how to become popular, people begging me and/or guilt tripping me to reblog their arts or for a shout out. Some ran away from me because I am apparently out of their league (their words not mine).

Someone told me they tried to find dirt on me in twitter once. I had fans who stalked me and kept messaging everyday the seconde I rebloggued something on my main account and they were angry or sad messaging me if I dont answer. Some even sent me creepy messages (I am an introvert and socially anxious person, this is anxiety inducing).

The other day, there was someone who was translating my comics and describe it as a 'heritage to the fandom' as if my comics weren't mine anymore.

Someone tried to convince me to drop some HCs because they said that it will aliened people who dont share these HCs and that I will lose popularity as if it was my goal.

I'm sometime being called the 'king/queen' of the fandom and have my stories and arts called 'content' and I cant help but being :/ by it.

This is my very first experience participating in a fandom, and I am very happy that many people love my arts and comments, but I cant help but feel hurt by some social aspects of it sometimes.

I hate that I have developped the habit to often check my notifications to see if people commented on my stuff. I hate that I worry about numbers at times. I hate that I have to take cautions with any new person who wants to interact with me. I hate having to say no everyday when people ask me permission about something that I am not comfortable with. I hate to learn they are people who stole my stuff every once and a while.

So I dunno. Maybe if I was as popular as you are describing it, maybe I will still be posting stuff, but be less socially engaging.

So yeah, just like money, I hate to concept of popularity. And I feel like I cant complain about it since they are so many who wants to have popularity.

All I wanted to do was to make comics and to have somewhere to show them. I have never thought that I would become as popular as I am now. I also thought that I would make a circle of close friends someday.

[unknown19967]

Man as the day gets closer and closer i still get so scared cuz what if its just gonna by my last day being alive even though id been thru it so many times. I still have so much stuff to look forward too

[agmn94]

Buen insomnio!

Hola! Bienvenido a otra noche de no poder dormir. Durante la siguiente hora estimada experimentarás un recorrido desgarrador por tus peores recuerdos; por ende, harás escala en tus peores momentos y posteriormente tomarás un momento para explotar tu creatividad y generar los más irreverentes “hubiera” de toda y sobre toda tu existencia. Ponte cómodo y permítete toda la incomodidad de mirar al techo mientras dejas que tu mente tome total control y haga una cirugía sin anestesia a través de la memoria.

[petalmud]

When i think about life TOO much; what it is, my future, my choices, people, all the good times and all the bad memories and all the things that have shaped my brain, a nauseous feeling comes creeping up and in the end i get this literal feeling of wanting to throw up.

[mymindsgonnablow]