#overthinking time

[rottingpuppycorpse]

is she mad at me or is she sleeping till 3pm or did her phone get taken away she’s probably mad at me right i think she is cuz she texted earlier no words but i know she was awake at one point so probably im horrible and fucked up usually she sleeps till 1-2pm not 3pm maybe she was just really tired i hope she doesn’t hate me im sorry

[so-very-small]

i hope i’m not just a tiny to you, but a nuisance as well

[incorrectosemanverse]

Rowan: Listen, I really need you to relax

Bliss, banging fists on table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR??

Angel: 

Angel: she has a poINT

[cursingtoji]

Am I the kind of person that exposes themselves too much here or?

[babyyhoneyydarling]

writing is hard 🙃 i literally hate what i wrote and i want to write a whole new concept but i already said i would do this one 🙃🙃 i need to go to bed it’s been a long day, a good day but long.

[siberian-y]

Um like-

yall remember that scene in s1 where Moomintroll caught a dragon and they hung out with Snufkin and the “Love me with all of your heart” song played which was (at least the song) obviously about romantic realationship.

Love me with all of your heart

Thats all I want

And now in s2 we got a Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden hanging out scene where a cute song plays. But what surprised me was that the song said “my best friend” so it was about platonic relationship.

So even if we get off track

You’re my best friend

like I know I am overthinking this, but the song symbolism is strong in Moominvalley so I-

[blood-and-cigars]

I liked the redemption discussion. talk to me about arcs

Sure I’ll give it a shot. All of this is wildly up to interpretation though. Hellsing is very difficult to analyze because the characters are all so opaque.

What are they thinking, what’s going on in theirs heads? Who knows? I sure don’t. It’s all guesswork.

If it isn’t already clear, anything I say about Alucard is going to get really dark, really fast.

So characters begin their arc with two defining characteristics— who they are, and how they view the world. One of these will change, if not both.

Constant characters also exist but a) that’s an entirely different kettle of fish and b) I’d argue even they experience change in questioning their views/self and then ultimately having them reinforced.

Arcs usually relate to the main theme of the story. If you consider a story an argument, then each arc is a different angle of that argument.

I think Hellsing’s larger themes focus on agency, nihilism, and loyalty/blind belief in a larger uncaring cause.

There’s also a motif of decadence and obsolescence; what it means to exist in a world that’s moved on without you. What happens when you’ve exhausted yourself, in the literal sense, for the object of your devotion to the point where it no longer has use for you?

Alucard’s arc largely depends on what you consider his starting point to be and how you interpret his past. And also how much you take from Hellsing vs Dracula (the book and the Coppola movie) vs actual real life historical figure Vlad the Impaler. There are numerous ways to merge all that material into a single timeline and form a character from that.

I’ve already spoken about how I interpret Alucard… extensively (this might as well be an Alucard blog lol). 

To sum up my thoughts in the previous discussion a bit more succinctly, I think his arc is focused more on personal healing through interpersonal relationships. And while he may become a (slightly?) better person in the equation, it’s secondary and directly because he’s learning to pick up the pieces a bit more efficiently.

IMO his arc encompasses all of the themes I listed above, perhaps more so than any other character. He’s a foil to Millennium, Anderson, and Walter. In the end, he’s the only monster to survive, because he’s the only one who adapts beyond only existing for a singular purpose.

While he may have been already driven by very specific goals before, by the time he’s captured by Hellsing, I believe he begins to define himself entirely by whatever objective he’s pursuing. On the individual scale he is/considers himself to be nothing. He is only worth as much as his cause, as much as his usefulness to that cause.

However, by the start of the story, his life is a laundry list of failure and obsolescence.

God has no more use for him, as he’s a damned creature. He already denounced God anyway. His people do not need him; they’ve been dead for centuries. The world is an entirely different place from since he was human. He’s a relic. 

Hellsing itself— the sole focus of his life for the last century— locked him away for twenty years.

He may find purpose for himself in serving Integra and teaching Seras, but then even that comes into question in the very last episode. (which I am still upset was so rushed :DDD)

Thirty years pass while he is killing off his own familiars, and life goes on without him. Seras is no longer a fledgling, she didn’t need his guidance. Integra didn’t even need him to keep hunting vampires. Everything kept going without a hitch.

This all cements that he is not indispensable. He is not needed for any greater calling. He’s just as unmoored and empty as every other vampire he puts down.

My absolute favorite part from Hellsing is the flashback in volume 9, where Arthur describes vampires, and Alucard in particular, as revenants jumping from conflict to conflict, destroying everything in their path until finally something can definitively kill them. And honestly this seems to be backed up by Alucard’s reaction to potentially worthy adversaries. By how crestfallen he seems to be, on his own behalf, when Anderson uses the nail of Helena, because he’s convinced only a human can truly defeat him. It all suggests (imo) that he very well wants to be defeated. 

Then, if he is so single mindedly seeking out his own death, then once given the ability to be everywhere and nowhere… why doesn’t he let himself just dissolve into nothing?

Something changed between the starting point and the end point.

I think that’s the realization that he does not exist just to be used. You can want to live because of the people you care about. (if not just for the sake of life— I think he isn’t that far along yet)

It’s the realization that you can care about people at all, and that it matters. Feelings, emotions, whims, they matter and he can have just as much of a place with Integra, with Seras, because they like being around him, not just because he’s a tool that’s fulfilling a need of some sort.

In a roundabout way, it’s an achingly slow move towards the discovery of self worth. But that’s going to take him awhile. In the meantime actually admitting that he’s more than a glorified wrench is a step up.

And absolutely in the process he becomes a bit less… murderous… probably. Because allowing for empathy means allowing for mercy.

[blood-and-cigars]

So question, did Anderson destroy the Nail of Helena by using it? Could Iscariot (should it choose to) have an entire factory line of plant monster vampire hunters?

We know they’re not above human experimentation since Anderson’s a regenerator, and presumably Heinkel is too after the time skip. I’m assuming they never used the nail before because they didn’t really know what it would do.

 But... now that they know, could they make more? Would they want to?