Sep 13, 2015
Listen/purchase: Stygian Ark by OVVL
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Listen/purchase: Stygian Ark by OVVL
Ladies and gentlemen meet MANSLAUGHTER! Metal Master, Culinary Queen,all around bad ass, and nice enough to answer some questions.
How are you?
M: FUCKING SHITTY
How can beer make you fat when it's actually 98% water
M: Made me fat, that's why I feel shitty.
What is the most memorable ass whuppin' you ever gave or got?
M: My brother broke three of my ribs by sitting on my lap and pushing against the front seat of the car. brutal. what a dick.
What were you doing in a strip club?
M: Most likely taking my lame boyfriend there who thinks that strippers are lame so yeah, what the fuck am I doing here?!
What about ripping hens to pieces, did you get to do any of that?
M: I've ripped so many fucking hens to pieces its redick
Do you find Jesus to be a babe?
M: Yeah Jesus looks like one of those sexy motorcycle dudes.
What do you think Tank Girl would think of you?
M: She'd probably try to jump my bones. All the ladies love me.
Do you feel that Dada, Surrealism, Fluxus, Situationism, et al. have become the dominant artistic language of the 20th century?
M: In my world, yes. In reality, probably not.
So, how did you get involved driving tour busses for metal bands?
M: They were like "yo, we need a driver we're too wasted to drive" and I was like "ok bitch"
How do you feel about the peace treaty between the IRA and the British government?
M: I don't really give a fuck about all that shit. burrrrrp.
Hoo is Ovvl?
Our buddies at Off the Books Records turned us on to Ovvl and we've been blasting them on the private jet ever since. Last Wednesday we landed in London and met up with Ozzy and Sharon for tea. Tea turned into beer, beer turned into shots, and by 1:00pm we were tripping nuts on the set of Sharon's popular daytime British talk show. The interview was supposed to be about the upcoming KISS record but between the two of us, we haven't started it yet. The fans were demanding to hear some tracks and so we had no choice but to put on Ovvl's First Tape and claim it as our own work.
The entire place was blown away, including Ozzy who described the music as "An epic battle between angels and devils in which everyone gives up on fighting and decides to take some acid and go rafting." The interview went something like this.
OZZY: This sounds nothing like the KISS we're used to.
ACE: Fuck what you know. KISS is all about reinventing ourselves. We're like the phoenix of glam rock.
OZZY: I like it! What inspired this new direction?
PAUL: The sound is so original. It's unlike anything that's ever been played before.
OZZY: It reminds me of Sabbath.
PAUL: Really? Hmmm, I don't hear it.
OZZY: How can you not hear it? It's clearly-
GENE: It has nothing to do with Sabbath. In fact I don't think we've ever even listened to any of your music.
OZZY: Come on, fucking, that can't be true.
GENE: I mean I saw the Iron Man movies but that's about it.
OZZY: We've played concerts together.
GENE: I always had my headphones on during your set.
OZZY: I'm the fucking Prince of Darkness. I've influenced everything heavy!
GENE: Sorry dude, I've just never been into your shit. It's nothing personal.
OZZY: But I'm positive "Thunder in the Sea" uses several Black Sabbath riffs note for note!
GENE: We already told you, Ozzy. Lay off.
OZZY: So this new record has nothing to do with Sabbath?
GENE: Nope.
PAUL: Nope.
PETER: Nope.
ACE: Nope.
OZZY: All right! Whatever! What exactly do you call this new sound?
PAUL: It's classic American style metal rock for freedom and the Bill of Rights and the youth.
GENE: Kid Rock founded the genre but we're perfecting it.
ACE: The track "Medicine Mirror" is getting a lot of hype. We heard it being played at our local Hooters the other night and people lost it!
PAUL: Actually it was more like you played it on your Iphone while you poured barbecue sauce on a waitress and got banned from ever going to Hooters again.
ACE: Still counts.
GENE: It's our best work ever. Hands down.
PETER: And some of the proceeds go to help kids with scoliosis and shit.
Things became tense when Ozzy and Sharon insisted we perform a number off the album. The crowd roared with excitement and there was no getting out of it so we plugged in our instruments and attempted to play "Snake-Eyed Goblin Woman." It sounded great to us but we were all extremely fucked up. Upon watching ourselves on British TV later that afternoon we realized we played "Rock and Roll All Nite" and shouted "Snake-Eyed Goblin Woman" over the chorus. Luckily nobody noticed.
OZZY: What the fuck? That was just "Rock and Roll All Nite" with you shouting "Snake-Eyed Goblin Woman" over the chorus
PAUL: That song is a sequel to "Strutter," which is about the death my grandmother's cat and how it brought me to the realization that God is a superstition and 9/11 was an inside job.
OZZY: Cut the shit already, would ya?
The gig was up. Ozzy could see through our charade. KISS had always put honesty at the forefront of our band and now here we were in front of a live British studio audience, strung out and drunk and pretending to be something we weren't. It was not fair to anyone, including Ovvl, and so, right there on live TV, KISS came clean.
PAUL: It's time we tell the truth. "Strutter" is not about my grandmother's cat. My grandmother never even had a cat. It's just an insensitive song that objectifies women and glamorizes the tragic reality of a young lady who must prostitute herself to feed her hungry child. She cries herself to sleep every night and must use large amounts of prescription drugs just to function.
OZZY: That's fucking metal!
PAUL: We made up the whole thing about Strutter the cat to cover our asses so bands like Slutever and Amanda X wouldn't think we were a bunch of creepy old guys who stereotype women.
GENE: Plus, girls love cats.
ACE: We thought maybe we could get them to sleep with us but it didn't work.
GENE: You mean you guys didn't hit that? Damn. Ya'll missed out big time!
Ovvl hails from Oakland/San Francisco, CA. They have a stellar cassette tape out on Off the Book Records. They're also featured on the 7inch compilation Sweet Times- Volume 1 put out by Who Can You Trust? Records. Both the labels and the band are destined for big things so don't sleep on it, folks.
- KISS
Awesome live report of Groan's Manchester show with Ovvl.
Ovvl - Ovvl - 2012
