Oi, Sereno. I don't suppose ya know of any good parenting manuals, or good advice for new parents? I've, uh, sort of, more or less adopted a girl and been adopted in return, and, um. No fucking clue what I should be doing. And yes, I do know I could go to the library, but I don't exactly trust it, since the last time I checked out some books, at least two of them spat ink at me.
"Generally the best place for ah, safe parenting advice is the grocery cashier line, only because the magazines don't have enough paper strength to spit. I'll come over. I've seen a decent amount around town, but I haven't looked at them, so I'll come over and help myself.