#p;luna

[rkxeve]

down this road again ;

@rkluna

eve should be used to this by now. she should be used to the long days, the grueling lessons, the hard evals. but this week of constant live singing practice came out of nowhere, and despite eve’s relative comfort with singing live, after four days of this even more rigorous schedule she’s really feeling it. they’ve been keeping them late, and eve feels as though she can never eat enough food to really get full at meals -- she always leaves still hungry, but without any time to eat more. 

their independent study time is spent practicing, too, and she hardly notices when the door opens and luna enters, probably wondering if eve’s ready to head home yet -- it’s always more fun ( and probably safer ) to walk together than alone. eve stumbles a bit on a step of the choreography when she sees luna’s motion in the mirror, and she rights herself and looks around at her best friend, blinking her way through the dizziness and spots that appear in her vision. 

she opens her mouth to say something, and maybe luna’s said something too, but eve can’t hear her -- the sound of the song on the speakers and of luna’s voice is garbled in her ears, like she’s listening from underwater. eve stumbles forward the last few steps between her and her best friend, practically falling into her when her balance fails. “fuck,” she says, more on instinct than anything, and she’s surprised when she can’t get her voice to come out louder than a murmur. she struggles to right herself, using luna as an anchor and leaning her forehead on the other’s shoulder, blinking to try and clear the heavy blackness from her vision. 

[rkxeve]

not quite sliced bread;

@rkluna

like she has been all month, eve hums her evaluation song under her breath even as she lies on her back on luna’s bed, holding her phone above her face as she scrolls absently through twitter. “popsockets are the best invention since the calculator,” she says, remembering how she always thought the calculator was the best invention ever when she was studying math in high school. “never again will there be a fear of randomly dropping your phone on your fa-”

she’s cut off when she tries to retweet something and her fingers slip from around the popsocket, allowing her phone to fall right onto her nose and ironically cutting her sentence short. she splutters at the surprise, her nose smarting in pain as she raises her hands, one to move her phone and lock the screen before she tweets something embarrassing, and the other one holding her nose. “ow,” she says simply. “guess i spoke too soon.”

[rkxeve]

hoi hoi hoi!

@rkluna

their costumes are ridiculous. eve stands in the dressing room next to luna, looking at their reflection in the mirror. they have tiny little hats on their heads, eve’s pink and luna’s blue, each with small netting hanging in front as decoration. their dresses are simple, the same colors as their hats, and they each have an actual cape, just for added hilarity. the capes are pretty stiff and can’t be moved much, but they hang behind them all the same, adding to the comedic effect of their weird costumes to match their weird song. 

“wanna take a picture?” eve asks, pulling out her phone. “the coaches did tell us that we’re encouraged to talk about this online,” she says, already getting in position for a selca, tilting her head so that the tiny hat is easily visible. 

[rkxeve]

reliance ;

@rkluna

this isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this. 2am hangouts have always been a staple of their relationship, though each one ends up going a little differently. rather than sitting up giggling at movies or old cartoons, luna and jinri have ended up in jinri’s room, the soft light of her lamp illuminating them as they sit in comfortable companionship after so many years together. 

right now the only sound comes from jinri’s phone, playing a gentle lo-fi beat from a live station she found on youtube. the device itself is lying next to her, while she holds one of her throw pillows in her lap and picks at a loose thread on it. luna is sprawled out somewhere closer to the end of her bed, but the silence reigns between them for now, the quiet music managing to fill the spaces in the room. 

jinri breaks it suddenly, but not shockingly. that’s just how these nights go -- they’re both lost in their own thoughts, and then they may share it with each other, knowing that any topic is open for discussion. 

“i keep thinking about the royal show,” she says, fingernails picking at the loosening embroidery on the pillow. “i wouldn’t have done it without you. i think i knew that the whole time i was considering it. is that weird? i feel like i should have made the decision for myself, not because of whatever you were doing, you know?”

[rkxeve]

in the dark for weeks ;

@rkluna

jinri finds her best friend in an otherwise empty practice room in the seocho building, seeming to be taking a break from whatever she was working on as she sits against a wall across from the door. jinri’s feet have simply carried her here immediately after turning her name in for royal’s survival show -- she still hasn’t fully processed what that means, but one thing has finally made itself utterly clear in her mind: if she wins the show, she’ll leave sphere and debut under royal, a company she knows next to nothing about. 

she’s dimly glad it didn’t take her long to find luna, but she can’t think about too many details as she enters the practice room and automatically crosses the space before leaning against the wall next to her friend, allowing her body to slide down until she’s plopped on the floor next to luna. 

the silence holds between them for a moment, jinri staring unseeingly across at the door as it finishes swinging closed behind her. or is it in front of her, now that she’s facing it? she can’t decide which it is, or even which she’d rather it be.

“i signed up for royal’s survival show,” she says, honestly surprised at how honestly empty and tired her voice sounds. she doesn’t know how long she’s felt this tired, this frustrated, this confused -- she just knows that for whatever reason, she’s stopped suppressing it now, and she kind of just wants to go back to hiding behind her usual smiles and teasing jokes.

“i did it almost as soon as i heard about it, without really thinking about it,” she adds, her voice not changing in tone. “i don’t know if i regret it or not. i don’t know if i should regret it or not.”

[rkxeve]

masquerade ;

@rkluna

eve looks at her own face in the mirror, running her fingers over her cheekbones and turning her head this way and that to look from different angles. she hadn’t even been feeling sad or upset earlier, but someone had stopped her in the diner to ask if she was okay. she examines her features now, trying to consciously relax her face into its neutral position and see if it looks sad.

to be fair, she always feels sad lately, but it’s somehow less and more than that -- but she really hadn’t been thinking about anything negative at the time. she doesn’t even remember what she was thinking about, but it was probably something like where she’d sit or the choreography they’d practice in dance later. but if her face looks that upset even when she isn’t actively feeling it, then maybe this is a more serious problem than she thought. 

she’d thought this was just something she could push through, could get past. she wasn’t the type of person to completely shut down after a breakdown -- she didn’t rely on others like that. she was independent. 

wasn’t she?

as the thought passes through her mind, she watches her expression fall, her lips turning down and her eyebrows furrowing as her heart drops like a stone into her stomach. she sighs and puts her face in her hands, not wanting to look at her own melancholy expression any longer. 

a knock comes from her bedroom door, and she spins around, pasting her usual smile on her face without checking it in the mirror -- she can feel how strained it is, she doesn’t need the confirmation -- as she calls for luna to enter. “come in!” she says, holding back a wince at how falsely cheerful her voice sounds. 

[rkxeve]

lost in this maze ;

Jinri frowns at the television, which is playing a rerun of the third episode of the MGAs, the one where the teams were assigned to their coaches. She’s curled up in a corner of the couch, her socked feet pulled under her legs, which are covered by her favorite fuzzy pajama pants: pink and patterned with white polka dots. She hugs a pillow to her chest as she watches her own team members announced on the screen, one by one.

They’ve picked their song now, though it took them a bit longer than it probably should have. They spent their practice time today assigning parts and learning the lyrics, and Jinri has to say that she’s very proud of her team and all the work they’ve been doing. 

She spots Luna in her periphery as the show moves on from her own team to her roommate’s. Without looking away from the tv, she addresses the other. “So your team’s doing well?” 

It’s a casual question, just small talk -- she doesn’t expect Luna to divulge details of their performance, nor does she want her to. She’s mostly just wanting to open up the discussion, so she can bring up what’s really been bothering her since practice ended this afternoon: she has huge amounts of confidence in her team, is incredibly proud that they’re able to do what they’re doing. No, she’s not worried about them, or about their abilities not being enough. She’s worried about herself. Now that she actually has to lead these people, who are counting on her to use her experience to provide useful advice and help them succeed, she feels more pressure than she has since she herself was on the MGAs. 

And as usual, she’s turning to Luna for advice, even when they’re technically competing against each other. 

[rkxeve]

full of surprises ;

jinri isn't very good at buying gifts for people, so she doesn't really do it often. luna is an exception, though: as jinri's best friend in the whole world, she figures she should actually put some effort into the other's birthday, because even though she's still busy with training, she wants to make sure luna has a special day for her birthday. when the two of them wake up right around the crack of dawn like usual, jinri is the first to tell luna 'happy birthday,' and she hurries out of the house early, telling luna she needs to go in for an extra private dance lesson. she doesn't have a dance lesson, though, instead going to help rachel set up their surprise party for the birthday girl. later during independent study, the party is a success, and after that jinri skips her usual extra late practice, instead leading luna out of the building. once they reach the sidewalk, she puts her hands on her hips and turns to her friend, opening her mouth and then promptly closing it. "i want to take you out to have some fun," she says simply. "so what do you want to do? I didn't plan anything because I wasn't sure what you would want to do," she adds with a little chuckle, finally losing her uncharacteristic confidence as she runs a nervous hand through her hair.