Sollux Captor, John Egbert
SOLLUX: eating a sandwich.
JOHN: what? no, i mean, what are you doing HERE in the meteor?
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SOLLUX: its like im fated t0 wind up back at this idi0tic r0ck every c0uple 0f sweeps.
SOLLUX: real mess y0uve made 0f things 0ut there.
JOHN: yeah, well... we’re trying to fix that now! which is why I need to find my friends!
SOLLUX: kind 0f fucked up y0u guys let this happen t0 begin with.
JOHN: soooo anyway, on the topic of you living here...
JOHN: does roxy know about this???
JOHN: umm... how do you know her?
SOLLUX: wh0 d0 y0u think h00ked me up with these sick ass shades and gave me all these ape games.
JOHN: okay, that kind of makes sense, i guess.
JOHN: are you guys... close?
SOLLUX: wh0. me and r0xy? i guess. we squad up a c0uple times a week.
SOLLUX: y0u w0rried im m0ving in 0n y0ur ex?
SOLLUX: what is g0ing 0n here.
JOHN: sorry, i had an answer but then i started actually considering it.
SOLLUX: if i tell y0u straight up n0 we arent h00king up will y0u st0p?
SOLLUX: c0ming fr0m s0me0ne wh0 has shared breathing space with y0u 0nly 0n 0ccasi0n.
SOLLUX: its 0bvi0us t0 me y0u're n0t supp0sed t0 be the thinking guy.
SOLLUX: pirate ship. d0uble eye-patches. girlfriend ascensi0n.
JOHN: double eye patches!
JOHN: i remember you now, you were at mystery jade’s funeral too!
JOHN: sorry for not recognizing you.
JOHN: the eye patches are pretty distracting!
JOHN: like every time i see them i have to stop and think...
JOHN: wow... that looks really really stupid!
JOHN: are you still hanging out with that creepy alive girl?
SOLLUX: 0n a spiritual level.
JOHN: is ... she also dating roxy?
SOLLUX: i d0nt make it my business t0 keep tabs 0n that.
SOLLUX: im fucking gaming.
SOLLUX: speaking 0f which...
JOHN: so what were you guys up to before this?
SOLLUX: is there a prer0gative here.
SOLLUX: are y0u spades baiting me right n0w?
JOHN: honestly i don’t know what that means.
JOHN: how do i say this...
JOHN: i always find myself going to a lot of places and meeting all these people but.
JOHN: most of it never matters to me until i’m not doing anything at all.
JOHN: last time that happened it was for ten years!
JOHN: and it only changed because i started talking to people again.
SOLLUX: (i did this t0 myself why did i ask)
JOHN: i guess in gamer terms it's the same as screwing yourself over by not checking every non playable character dialogue box.
JOHN: any one of them could have the clues you need.
JOHN: aw, don’t be like that dude.
JOHN: i promise no more questions after this.
JOHN: do you not want to because it just ...isn't important?
SOLLUX: my vestigial digits get m0re imp0rtant shit d0ne 0n wednesday nights than y0ur ill dressed b0dy has d0ne y0ur entire life cycle.
SOLLUX: but im n0t g0ing t0 g0 int0 all that because 1. i d0nt kn0w y0u and 2. i d0 n0t respect y0u.
SOLLUX: itll 0nly make y0u feel bad anyways.
JOHN: why would it make me feel bad?
SOLLUX: i can smell it 0n y0u man.
SOLLUX: y0u smell like a guy.
SOLLUX: wh0se never had any bitches.
JOHN: i have a son! i have a house full of pictures with him!
JOHN: that is physical proof i have had “bitches” thank you!
SOLLUX: as s0me0ne wh0 has been friends with every w0man y0u are attempting t0 categ0rize int0 this
SOLLUX: i can assure y0u, they were n0t y0ur bitches.
SOLLUX: this was the missing puzzle piece r0xys ex.
SOLLUX: y0ur arc is 0ver.
SOLLUX: y0u can g0 h0me n0w.
JOHN: my home burned down.
SOLLUX: y0u kn0w what is tragic th0ugh?
SOLLUX: i have n0t been able t0 play this game the wh0le time because s0me0ne was talking 0ver the s0und.
SOLLUX: w0rds d0nt mean much.
JOHN: well, i suppose i left the vriskas waiting long enough...
JOHN: see you eye patches...
SOLLUX: n0t wearing them.
SOLLUX: change my game f0r me.
