#poor james

[prongsievans]

regulus: how do i make a date really romantic?

barty: be mysterious.

regulus: okay.

*later, while on a date with james*

james: so where are we going?

regulus: none of your fucking business.

[fallintomidnight]

regulus : "Hey james!...why are you so sweaty?"

James : "Oh this?? It's nothing, earlier my spidey senses started to tingle a bit more than usual. Hurt my chest a bit but now I'm alright 😃"

Regulus :

James :

Regulus : "James did you have an anxiety attack?"

[my-castles-crumbling]

Gay Panic?

First year:

James, casually: So my uncle has a husband.

Sirius, shocked: You can do that?

James: Yeah, I reckon so.

-

Second year:

Sirius: So I have a gay uncle too.

James, not really bothered: Weird, mate. Guess a lot of people are gay.

Sirius, a bit contemplative: Hahaha. Weird.

-

Third year:

Sirius, nervously: Do you ever want to kiss people?

James: Girls, right? You mean girls?

Sirius, even more nervously: Erm, yeah. Girls.

James: Yeah, I like Evans. She’s like…bossy-hot.

-

Fourth year:

Remus: So…I'm gay.

Sirius, having a gay crisis: Ohhhh! Erm, we support you!

James, also panicking, thinking of gay Regulus: Yes. We're allies!

Sirius, still internally panicking: Such allies.

-

Fifth year:

Sirius, freaking out again: So, you know how we're like…allies?

James, paranoid, worried Sirius saw him staring at Reggie: Yeah?

Sirius: Allies can have like…gay dreams, right? And still be straight?

James, relieved: Oh. Oh, yeah! Absolutely. I do, too! And I'm a thousand percent straight.

-

Sixth year:

Sirius, really having a crisis after Remus returned to school six inches taller: It's totally normal as a straight person to have a crush on another bloke, right?

James, still fully in denial even though he's been stalking Reg on the Map: Erm, yeah. Definitely. We're both straight.

-

Seventh year:

Sirius, having just kissed Remus: So actually Im definitely gay and I'm dating Moony and that crush and those dreams were all very gay.

James: Well FUCK what am I, then?

[coffeestainedstars]

It was Monday.

It was only Monday.

And this was the third time this week Sirius and Remus forgot the bloody silencing charm. They thought they had been so slick hiding the fact that they were shagging, but it was kind of hard to ignore when they always forgot the endlessly important Muffalato.

Peter was lucky in a way; he had fallen asleep ages ago. His ears didn't have to suffer like James’ did. He’d tried everything from earplugs to blasting music. Nothing worked.

Which is how he ended up chucking a pillow through Sirius’ bed curtains, watching as his face appeared through them a moment later, scowl etched across it.

“What the fuck, Prongs?” he hisses through his teeth. “I was trying to sleep.”

James can’t meet his eyes. He’s too scarred.

“If you two are going to shag, please for the love of Merlin and Morgana, remember the bloody silencing charm,” he deadpans.

Sirius’ mouth falls open in a small O shape, and even through the darkness James can see his face flushing intensely. “O-oh. Right. Sorry, mate. It—er—shit. Fuck,” he sputtered out, dripping his gaze towards the floor before hurrying back through the curtains. James could make out the slight sounds of whispers before they were silenced by the charm.

Slags. The both of them. Bloody slags.

[ultravioletbrit]

“theatre” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 342 words

 

“Wait…” The girl says with a huff. “You’re a theatre major?” she asks with a slight chuckle.

“Uh… yeah? Why?” James says starting to feel a bit self-conscious.

“I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t expect it. I mean, you’re James Potter.” She states simply like that explains everything. James gives her a questioning look, so she continues.

“You’re James Potter. Cocky, campus heartthrob, football captain, part of that ridiculous little group that’s always pulling pranks and being idiots. I guess I just didn’t peg you for a theatre major.” She tells him.

“I… um…” James really isn’t sure how to respond to that.

“So, do you want to go out this weekend?” She asks him.

“Wait. You think I’m a cocky, ridiculous idiot, and you seem to have an issue with what I’m studying, yet you still want to go out with me?” James questions.

“Well yeah, you’re James Potter.” She says like it’s obvious. James’ face falls and he huffs out a small humorless laugh, shaking his head as he stands to leave.

“Right… Yeah, no thanks.” He tells her and walks away.

He senses someone fall into step beside him, but he doesn’t turn to look, he just picks up his pace.

“She’s an idiot.” He hears from behind him, and he’d recognize that voice anywhere. He stops and turns to see Regulus walking up to him.   

“What?” He asks.

“I said, she’s an idiot.” Regulus tells him once he’s standing in front of James.

“It’s fine, I get it all the time.” James shrugs and starts walking again.

“Yeah, I get it too.” Regulus continues walking beside him.

“What do you mean?” James glances at him.

“I’m a snarky, sarcastic asshole. No one expects me to be a dance major.” Regulus shrugs.

James is quiet for a moment before he responds.

“You’re more than just a snarky, sarcastic asshole.” He whispers as he glances at Regulus again with a small smile.

“Yeah, you’re more than just a cocky, ridiculous idiot.” Regulus smiles back.

And James’ smile grows as they continue walking together.  

[kawaiibarty]

wolfstar getting into an argument

remus: oh my fucking god you're so fucking stupid, im done. we're done. im finished with you. im breaking up with you

sirius: *gasps* ugh, how long this time?

remus: uhm, forty five minutes

sirius: WHAT? FORTY FIVE ????THATS UNREASONABLE

remus: ......

remus: thirty five

sirius: .....

sirius: yeah i can do that.

james: *who now has to deal with a whining sirius for thirty five minutes* no the fuck he can't remus you fucking wanker

[messrmagpie]

ugh, get a room 🙄

[skyrim-forever]

The Last Derry Girl Part 2: Poor Cicero