#painathon

[terribletoonietuesday]

Demonoids from hell 2023

So this next review is dedicated to Amy Picard as she was posting on Instagram photos of this film and it made me very curious cuz it was a little puppet monsters why wouldn't I be curious. However as soon as I found the film and looked at the director my reaction Ohhhhh Nnnoooooo ..it was a Dustin Ferguson film. Well shit. Now if you ever read anything on my blogs or social medias you know I've had a conflict of interest with Mr Dustin Ferguson there is a level that I want to credit him for making so many films so quickly so he can make a career out of no budget films for the streaming universe. However every time I seem to be interested in one of his films because of either the title or the cover or the concept I feel cheated every single time. Usually they're a 52 minute film where it's just a bunch of people usually forgotten or never being actors from the LA scene just hanging around and talking about what could be happening in this film as opposed to actually doing any of the things in this film. Ferguson seems to think that this is being smart but I'm not sure I've talked to him a few times online but I don't know him personally so I'm going to try not to judge. This is where I start to feel very dirty about this film the opening scene has actors I don't recognize being quite passionate about being lost in a sort of haunted house and then getting attacked by these little puppet demons. Sure the puppets are homemade and cheap but that's what I like and they still have a personality and these actors in this opening 5 to 7 minutes of the film are actually interesting but that's just the opening scene and then it moves on and it becomes completely every other Dustin Ferguson film I've ever seen. Maybe I feel even more cheated now cuz I started to like it or is it just my fault for giving in we're very early on in the paint it's on and this put me in a very conflicted mode. But hey the cover is great and those puppets are cool if only when it got into the body of the movie anything made any sense or had any points but maybe I'm just too picky, but I doubt it.

[riotatthemovies]

HOLY ShIt! A fan from the blog just voted in this movie for the Marathon of Doom next week. I had seen this cover a million times and just thought it was a lesser known Reptilicus or Land that time forgot.. buttt nooooo. Its crossed with animation.. its a full on Tokusatsu crossed in with anime scenes. Basically a roger rabbit in the Ultraman world.. this looks INSANE!  I don’t care if the votes for my marathon of doom push this down It is in the marathon no matter what. Buuut if you have movies you want me to watch during my approximate 20 hour PAIN aTHON of bad movies... donate to https://payhip.com/b/d4EO  VOTE HERE THEN MESSAGE ME YOUR MOVIE CHOICE!

Just a dollar gets your vote in and it will get you thanked in my next book “Riot at the movies presents: Bad movies and Booze!”

PLACE YOUR VOTE HERE AND GET YOUR CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL

[terribletoonietuesday]

The movie is off the walls crazy but you really got to take the whole thing in. It's made really badly but it somehow is made amazingly as well. The film manages to cram in every quotes on quotes Urban stereotype into this film very quickly. However the film isn't 100% sure if it wants to be a soap opera or an action film or something else. The film mainly centers around a character called milk who is a young All-Star gangster leading a gang of thugs but his life turns around when his stepfather gets out of jail and tries to take back the streets in the town. Now I say that's the main character in main story but there are a lot of characters in here which is probably how it sets itself up to be a soap opera. What makes this kind of bad movie interesting is when half your cast can actually act fairly well and the other half can't at all. This makes the interaction with these characters really entertaining for a bad movie Hound like myself. The jumps between the room style over acting to days of our life soap opera acting right back to zero budget non-actors acting is very impressive. This could be because there's maybe just too many damn characters in this film.But it's not just the acting it's also the production. Take the very opening scene where a supposed action scene is happening with milk gang versus an opposing gang we see a very short struggle but done with intense action shots intense music and humorous gun flares added on but all that done in a good looking location and it fools you that as if this was an actual action moment when in reality they were just sort of bumping into each other and falling down. Milking his game come across this issue later on as well when they have to fight cops it's very weird that the cops seem to be in spirit of Halloween cop uniforms while the scene is paste and edited well and has again intense music but this time the camera is moving back a bit and we're just noticing that the cops are just sort of rolling around on the ground with the gang members and nothing's happening. It's the kind of scene in the movie where you imagine if the music wasn't there this would be really sad. But because the film seems to have decent direction at certain points in the film it almost seems like this is a joke. The thing is it might actually be a joke but I can't really tell. There are definitely moments where one or two characters are there for humor purposes including one who shoots a bullet after imagining he could curve the bullet like in The Matrix and then he actually does it. But the character who did it is definitely a silly character. And the person he shoots is wearing an obvious sight gag t-shirt. I really can't do that scene justice in type you really have to see it and when you see it you'll know what I mean. However beside the violent gang storyline my favorite character is milk much older brother who seems to be living a much more upper middle class lifestyle but it is ruining it by his addiction to becoming a gigolo and sort of drug addict. However the older brother is so much charismatic than most of the cast when his life starts to fall apart because of his addictions and man whoring you literally feel like he is the victim here when in fact he is no less evil than any other character in this movie. Maybe that's what this movie is trying to say that there is no good there is no bad in this world it's just the side that you choose and those that betray you should be left in the dust and those who are with you should be treated like kings and be honored all the way throughout their lives. Oh my God what the hell is wrong with me I'm only three films in this pain-athon and I'm already giving a Maverick films production a deep philosophical meaning. Trust me the movie doesn't really have that but it's waving quality from amazing to terrible lets this " trapped in the closet" amped up action soap opera movie play a few games with your head. This review is dedicated to the guys at Perfect Turd Podcast for bringing this film to my attention.

[riotatthemovies]

Marathon of doom 2018

More movie picks just came in from a fan that donated

its Satans Black Wedding that often appears on a double back with Crazy Fat Ethel... we are in for a real pain a thon.

As well as SHE the wild post apocalypse sword and sandals movies extremely loosely based off the most legendary fantasy story ever.

The Marathon will happen SATURDAY FEB 10th from 8am till FEB 11th around 3 or 4 in the morning.

If your movie is chosen i will be writing about you and doing a video thank you.

Which will also appear in my second book. RIOT AT THE MOVIES PRESENTS BAD MOVIES AND BOOZE!

PLACE YOUR VOTE HERE AND GET YOUR CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL!

https://payhip.com/b/d4EO  VOTE HERE THEN MESSAGE ME YOUR MOVIE CHOICE!

So donate and pick a terrible ass awful movie to make me watch in my 20 hour marathon of awfulness.

[riotatthemovies]

Part one of the 2024 Painathon if Doom.

Every year I ask friends and followers to give me suggestions of what bad movies I should watch my self in for a full day and you get them all reviewed as my brain melts over the day alone

[terribletoonietuesday]

Kick or Die 1987 Another AIP craptastic classic. What on cover feels like your generic white guy does Kung Fu and calls it kick fighting movie that lays what feels was supposed to be a sexual thriller. Thing is it gets kinda rapey so that's probably why they added more "kick fighting" and less sex. A rich man invited a karate teacher to come to town to train women to protect themselves after a serial rapist has been attacking girls at the local University. However the rich man and the karate teacher fall into a love triangle with a young woman who luckily escapes the rapist on campus. This girl is also a singer which is relevant because she sings an awful song that appears twice in the movie. It's a very generic film but without ruining the odd twists in the film I will say it is very dated. This dated behaviour though that makes the film interesting, not in a good way but a spectacle kinda of way. The kind of film you'd talk about more than watch. Some fluffed over elements include the University council talking about the rapist and one teacher says "But what if he has Aids?" And no one reacts or responds. Later we realise people think the rapist is black but he obviously isn't, which eludes that the rapists covered face is black face..sort of. Then we get our karate hero who has PTSD from his ex girlfriends murder and comes off like a mentally ill bro brat that literally says things "Don't hang around these places cause all men could be rapists, so you should go with me, I'm the only guy you can trust". You know the kinda guy. They add in random fights with a biker gang that feels like they are from another movie , which is just an excuse to add more fight scenes. We get set up for a Fists vs Feet face off at the end and while not being action enough and a wasted opportunity I advise staying to the end just to see how warped the villain is and how broken the hero is. Then you tell me if it's on purpose or just bad writing.

[terribletoonietuesday]

Vampire Journals 2002

So about a week or so ago maybe more I watched the entire series of the Subspecies movies and then was reminded by our good friend Robert Hoffman that vampire journals is semi officially referred to as a spin-off mainly because it's directed by the same person for the same company in a similar location. So I dedicate this piece of pain to Robert Hoffman. I don't know if I missed anything in the film as it did tend to flake around with these much more prettier and softer vampires than Radu from the subspecies films, so if they mentioned Radu at all I did not catch that. This is almost in a way full moon pictures version of Twilight with a soft vampire that wants to protect a girl from the rougher vampires who again are comparison to Radu or more just the horny pervy vampires with money. So for a lot of people today younger fans of vampires this film is probably fairly relatable. The people are very pretty the location is very nice I feel like it's possibly lit better than most of the sub species films was done after the third one so Ted Nicolau was able to learn a few new tricks but as sensual as this film is I will again emphasize on the word flaky. It's not without its merit though the characters all had some form of originality and interested me enough that I was hoping maybe I get to learn a little more about them but it does seem to just end on a sour note. It was probably set up to become its own series of films but never did. It's funny the romantic side of it isn't even what ruins it in fact it gives it more story but in general it is the softer safer some Subspecies. I decided to watch the version with William Shatner hosting the film thought that might ease my pain but good old bill has some seriously bad groaner puns that even Elvira would be embarrassed of them. Shatner is partnered with an alien bartender that doesn't speak in his wraparound spots. I just remembered there was a tv series called Vampire Diaries that was legit a teens vampire soap opera. There's no connection right..please tell me I don't have to watch that. Anyways I digress, that animatronic alien is so well done it's quite a bit better than any of the effects in the actual film. I'm sure the aliens head is from another character from a different Full Moon movie but I can't remember it if anyone does know please let me know. Maybe it is from the movie oblivion I remember liking that film and there's a few aliens in that movie however I'm far too tired as this pain-a-thon of Doom has had its toll on me I haven't eaten enough and I had to go back and forth to work and fit these in it was a bizarre challenging but entertaining day sure many of us watch bad movies all the time sometimes all day long thanks to you guys every time I do these we push the limit so it is different games played with my brain so thank you for that. Up next is the last film of the night the surprise film stay tuned.

[riotatthemovies]

Vampire Journals 2002

So about a week or so ago maybe more I watched the entire series of the Subspecies movies and then was reminded by our good friend Robert Hoffman that vampire journals is semi officially referred to as a spin-off mainly because it's directed by the same person for the same company in a similar location. So I dedicate this piece of pain to Robert Hoffman. I don't know if I missed anything in the film as it did tend to flake around with these much more prettier and softer vampires than Radu from the Subspecies films, so if they mentioned Radu at all I did not catch that. This is almost in a way full moon pictures version of Twilight with a soft vampire that wants to protect a girl from the rougher vampires who again are comparison to Radu or more just the horny pervy vampires with money. So for a lot of people today younger fans of vampires this film is probably fairly relatable. The people are very pretty the location is very nice I feel like it's possibly lit better than most of the sub species films was done after the third one so Ted Nicolau was able to learn a few new tricks but as sensual as this film is I will again emphasize on the word flaky. It's not without its merit though the characters all had some form of originality and interested me enough that I was hoping maybe I get to learn a little more about them but it does seem to just end on a sour note. It was probably set up to become its own series of films but never did. It's funny the romantic side of it isn't even what ruins it in fact it gives it more story but in general it is the softer safer some Subspecies. I decided to watch the version with William Shatner hosting the film thought that might ease my pain but good old bill has some seriously bad groaner puns that even Elvira would be embarrassed of them. Shatner is partnered with an alien bartender that doesn't speak in his wraparound spots. I just remembered there was a tv series called Vampire Diaries that was legit a teens vampire soap opera. There's no connection right..please tell me I don't have to watch that. Anyways I digress, that animatronic alien is so well done it's quite a bit better than any of the effects in the actual film. I'm sure the aliens head is from another character from a different Full Moon movie but I can't remember it if anyone does know please let me know. Maybe it is from the movie oblivion I remember liking that film and there's a few aliens in that movie however I'm far too tired as this pain-a-thon of Doom has had its toll on me I haven't eaten enough and I had to go back and forth to work and fit these in it was a bizarre challenging but entertaining day sure many of us watch bad movies all the time sometimes all day long thanks to you guys every time I do these we push the limit so it is different games played with my brain so thank you for that. Up next is the last film of the night the surprise film stay tuned.