I want to say that I apologize to everyone who has been hurt in some substantial way by the actions of Pankiepoo, and Ren and Clowntainment, who he enabled. There are a lot of finer details that I am conflicted by and even after some retrospection I don't have a very good idea of how to move forward. However, I know that to a point I was operating on taking Pankie's word on everything as well as a refusal to engage with criticisms to defend him. That is on me to acknowledge. I am sorry that I previously defended endangering behavior. Through this post and other provisions, I am working to learn from what has happened and ensure that I do not cause these problems again.
If it matters, I elaborate below on my side of the situation and the details I was and am going off of. Note that I am far from the most directly involved person in any given situation, even though I was close to Pankie. Despite my past attitude erroneously expressing otherwise, I only have so much insight to offer, and I apologize for pretending I had a better idea of things than I actually did. I additionally don't have access to any important conversations, so I am also going off of shaky memory and could be wrong about exactly what happened and what I knew or did.
I recognize for the above reason and for other reasons as well that my judgement even now could still be wrong, that I may be operating on a harmful mindset, and as such I may still be causing / capable of causing harm. So do not hesitate to hold me accountable in that respect if my judgement is inadequate.
I seek to elaborate not because I'm looking for excuses, but to explain precisely what I believe I'm guilty of whilst also elaborating on ambiguities that I don't believe are very clear to the public.
I am willing to answer questions on this post as well, to the extent that I can without violating the privacy of other parties.
In 2024 and 2025 when I frequently talked to him, Pankiepoo had been called out a lot of times, by different people, and for a variety of reasons. I never operated on a "believe the victims/harmed parties/accusations first" logic. Under some circumstances I do not agree with this approach, but regardless I consider my lack of believing others at all to be the issue.
Some of the callouts required several people to spy on Pankie and others in order to obtain the screenshots that they had, and, in our collective minds they had the sole, petty motivation of getting "dirt" on Pankie and friends for clout. Such occurrences felt extremely violating and betraying, and because some of these callouts had flaws or expressed opinions I disagreed with on top of this, I stopped taking any of them seriously past a point pretty early on. Often, I did not look at them at all.
I believed that, because some people were saying untrue things, because some people were not well meaning, and because harm was caused to me and others by invading privacy and revealing unnecessary private information, that there was no real reason to criticize Pankie. I refused to engage with the idea that a close friend of mine could cause real harm to people because I reasoned arbitrarily that it then meant every callout lie could be true, and that the stalking would then be justified. Of course, I would not be willing to engage with these ideas.
There is a lot of information on the most recent callout (which you will need to read thoroughly for context) that I didn't know about, but it frankly isn't very surprising in retrospect. Part of me acting so surprised/in denial initially is on me for refusing to accept that Pankie was capable of doing anything that could lead to the situations described in the callout.
I want to make it clear that Pankie is not an offending pedophile comparable to Epstein, the way some would put it, or that my interactions with him personally featured blatant indications that he was a creep. Since it's relevant, I also want it to be made clear that I've never been in circles with Ren or Clowntainment directly; I only went off of what Pankie has said about them. Trying to make what Pankie did more extreme only exacerbates the issue of seeing anything less than the most extreme actions as a non issue.
What WAS happening was that Pankie would enable and put good faith in people FARRR past what he should have. He did it for people that hurt him, and evidently he was willing to skirt what was acceptable for Ren and Clowntainment to do while he was in contact with them, hence the main topic of the callout.
Again, I did not see the most extreme of what happened, but I do recognize that at one point I was, dangerously, adjusting what I believed to be acceptable for Pankie's sake. As an example, I do not believe it is okay to edit NSFW or art with sexual or suggestive intent to make it more acceptable to be widely shared, especially without disclosing what it is. Regardless of what opinion you personally have on doing that, I know that I initially disregarded this principle in trying to justify Pankie doing it. Situations like these would no longer be about whether or not any minors or anyone else could potentially be endangered because I ultimately made Pankie's word and sanctity more important in my mind.
Additionally, Pankie would be avoidant, refusing to engage in uncomfortable subjects long enough to be willing to do something about them, and he WOULD be placed in multiple situations where he has the authority to change things for the better. Hence, the insensitive response and non-solution he offered to someone telling him he had a groomer in his server. Although never made part of a callout, I took personal issue with him hardly using his platform to raise awareness when it came to important issues, especially when he is someone who is particularly privileged (white, financially comfortable European.) But I didn't say anything about it for the longest time, and that, too, is on me.
None of these actions are the exact same as being a groomer or a pedophile with direct victims, but certainly it is clear to understand that this does not ultimately diminish the severity of these problems.
I consider myself complicit in that I had ample opportunity to recognize, point out, and act on these patterns of behavior at any point in time, especially because they manifested in less severe ways too, and did not do so until it basically didn't matter anymore. I also consider myself complicit in taking everything Pankie said at face value beyond what I consider reasonable to do even for someone I am close to. Although there was a lot behind the scenes that I would not have reasonably been able to know, I do think past a point I was operating on manufactured ignorance (not reading any callout posts) combined with a refusal to truly sit with the fact that he even could hurt people, even though this would be proven to me firsthand.
There were some things that happened (unrelated to the primary topics of the callout, to be clear) that hurt me too. I don't care to make anything about myself; I say this only to further point out that I KNEW all along Pankie was capable of harm, because I experienced it. I did not successfully advocate for myself, and most certainly I did not advocate for anyone else, either.
I could have confronted more, or even just asked more questions. I didn't have to agree with every sentiment that was expressed. I could have set a better standard. I could have at least expressed discontent sooner. I could have gone without going after people, spewing ad hominems at strangers simply because I assumed that everyone sharing any callout was a selfish and bad person. I could have done more, and I didn't. And for all of this, I am sorry.
