When Eve had shown up, Harley had literally kissed her on the cheek and then pointed up the stairs. While she was nervous about the talk that she would eventually have to have with the brunette, she didn’t want to be thinking about the fact that the last person to touch the writer intimately was her sister. Thinking about it too much only added to the cluster of feelings that she was dealing with, so she was was grateful that she’d have a few more minutes to adjust while the other girl was in the shower.
When she heard the water cut off Harley smiled. She hoped that things wouldn’t be too awkward between them because she couldn’t take that. It was taking everything inside of her to not question Eve. She wanted to know how the brunette could sleep with her sister when her best friend had just learned of Harley’s own feelings. The logical part of her mind was reminding her that she was in a relationship when that had happened which meant that she had no right to be upset, but the problem with that was the fact that emotions weren’t logical. The blonde was laying on her bed when Eve emerged, and Harley couldn’t help but smile. “Come here,” she asked quietly while scooting over in the bed. “How was your shower?”
Octavia’s voice nagged in the back of her head when Raven found herself putting in just a little extra effort to look good for her night out with Clarke. She did her best to ignore it or questions of what exactly the evening was. What mattered was they were going to drink, dance, and have a good time. Raven could worry about complications later, even if it was now just a little harder to ignore the way Clarke’s smile or laugh made her stomach that she was filling with alcohol flip flop.
“Okay so rum and coke is good and all. But this calls for shots,” Raven proclaimed, her gaze letting Clarke know there was no room for argument. In no time she had the eye of the bartender and the two of them each had a shot in front of them. Raven picked hers up, clinked the glass with Clarke’s and down the shot easily, enjoying the burn and the way warmth was starting to spread through her body. “It’s good we didn’t put this off.” It wasn’t so late that the place was terribly loud despite the music going, but Raven leaned in to assure she’d be heard anyway. “It’s just what my week needed. Pretty sure my brain has become a fried jumbled mess that is could not handle any more intense thinky thoughts. I know you’re disappointed that I can’t regale you with thrilling quantum mechanics theories tonight.” Raven shook her head, hair worn down and loose for once. She was already moving subtly to the music though they hadn’t made it to the dance floor just yet.
Raven reached out with her foot and tapped at Clarke’s leg. “So how’s work going?” She went back to taking a sip of her drink that she had abandoned for the shot. As much as she knew Clarke worked hard at her job making a difference, Raven had a feeling it could also be the type of job to take a different kind of toll than hers did. “I do still have that flamethrower somewhere if we need to get rid of paperwork,” she teased.
Rehearsals were set that Saturday, at ten in the morning. Rachel had every intention of coming in early, to set a good impression. Except when she woke up, bundled under warm covers and cuddled up against Quinn, the sun was already high up in the sky. She came to her senses abruptly. It was five minutes to nine in the morning, and Rachel still needed time to prepare. So despite her heart telling her to stay there in the comforts of Quinn’s bed and arms, she got up anyway. She showered and got into presentable clothes in her room—a black off-shoulder top with high-cut pants, something comfortable but still could pass as good impression. She was ready to leave, but scrambled to look for a notepad and a pen on her desk. She got a bottle of water and a piece of banana from the fridge, then the box of painkillers she kept in the medicine cabinet. Quietly making her way to Quinn’s bedroom, she left her little care kit on the blonde’s bedside table and scribbled a note.
Hey. Left for rehearsals. Sorry I didn’t wake you up but you seemed tired. I’ll see you later. :) Text me for anything! - R
She omitted the part where she’d ask if she and Quinn could maybe talk when she got back, about last night. Rachel would be lying if she said she wasn’t a wee bit disappointed, but she totally understood. Maybe this would mean that nothing about them had to change. Waking up cuddled up in Quinn’s arms was more than enough for her too. Putting on some high heels for the added confidence boost, she left the apartment, purse in the hand, as she hailed a cab. Her phone hadn’t had any messages or calls from Kurt, and she told herself to call him the day after if he still doesn’t give any indication of giving in. It’s not like Rachel and Quinn did sleep together. He could suck it up.
She arrived at the building that Jenny texted her the address of. They would meet at a co-working space where they rented a small conference room for, because the theatre they were supposed to rehearse at was still undergoing some minor renovation. Some stage work, if she remembered correctly. She smiled at the brunette she got in the elevator with. The girl pressed for the fourth floor, which was Rachel’s destination as well, and the excited extrovert in her couldn’t help herself.
“Sorry, but are you going to the Night Lights rehearsals as well?“
The other brunette seemed to light up at that and she said yes, yes, oh my god I am, and that was how Rachel made her first friend from her castmates. The brunette introduced herself as Marley Rose, who played Rachel’s character’s best friend. They had already broken the ice when they arrived at the conference room where Jenny and Natasha waited. The two women had welcomed them with excited chatter, and Rachel just knew that this project would be the highlight of her year.
The rest of the four-person cast came in after them, and they did a round of introductions before they started. Rachel introduced herself as a drama major in her senior year from the NYU Tisch School of the Arts, which earned a thrilled response from Jenny. Marley was a psych major at NYU as well—Rachel made a note of asking Quinn about her—who fell in love with theatre and wanted to try it out. Cassie July, an older, tanned blonde who seemed to be looking at Rachel like she was her next meal, introduced herself as a part-time dance teacher, full-time art enthusiast. Elijah Thomas, who looked like Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s twin brother, jokingly presented himself as just that, and told the group he was a struggling artist. Everyone chuckled at that—all of them, in a sense, relating to him. Jenny was a tall, redhead with tattoos on her arms, who introduced herself as the director and Natasha, the petite brunette beside her, as the writer. Jenny mentioned the two of them were a couple, “just to get it out of the way,” not without a bashful smile from the brunette. The cast aww’ed and gushed about them as Natasha blushed before she told the group to just get on with the rehearsals.
So they did. Natasha took them through the story—a short coming-of-age musical about Alex, Rachel’s character, who spends summer camp at a nearby city with her best friend, Penelope (Penny for short, Jenny chimed in), played by Marley. There she meets Cassie’s character, Samantha, one of the teachers, and Elijah’s character, Tom—Rachel snorted at that—one of the attendees of the summer camp. Natasha gave them a heads up that Rachel would be kissing both Cassie and Elijah, prompting the blonde to tease Rachel about it to the point that the brunette’s ears tinted red.
They gave the script a read-through. Jenny ordered some food for them during lunch, thankfully asking Rachel first before ordering so the diva had something vegan-friendly to eat, and spent the rest of the afternoon just getting to know each other. They were a fun group of talented people, and Rachel couldn’t wait to see the play come to life. Jenny reminded them that next rehearsal would finally be at the theatre and they’d meet on Saturday at ten in the morning again. Rachel asked the group if it was okay for her to bring her roommate, a photographer, to take some behind-the-scenes, and Natasha agreed without hesitation. It would do them good if they spread word about it on social media, too. They were let go before dinner and went their separate ways, and Rachel left with a huge grin on her lips. She hadn’t felt this pumped about anything before and she couldn’t wait to go home to tell Quinn all about it. She texted the blonde that she was on her way home. Would you like me to pick up dinner?
We week had passed between the Monday she had accidentally walked into the copy room unannounced and today. The interactions with Drew each morning had been short, almost non existent in comparison to the one from weeks past; the briefings for meetings and appointments, even shorter. But she got him the necessary information, completed her work in an overly timely manner and called into his office to say she was leaving as opposed to walking into say goodbye. He had taken care of his own coffee this morning for whatever reason but she still made her usual stop, getting her Chai, before heading in.
Three hours in, when the arrangement had shown up (X), her first thought was to just throw it away. Here’s to a long, fulfilling partnership. But no addressee was on the tag, despite the sure fact that the blonde had sent it. The fucking bitch. Was this a serious gesture? Honestly? He hadn’t signed any other contracts that she was aware of and she handled the filing for his contracts and paperwork. She rolled her eyes as she tossed the card into her trashcan, but left the arrangement of fruit on her own desk. Martha had made a comment in passing about putting in the staff refrigerator before the chocolate melted and that had drawn Kennedy’s attention to the chocolate strawberries in the first place. Tilting her head slightly, she did see that the chocolate had melted slightly, though it was still fairly solidly stuck on the fruit.
Kennedy undid the thin yarn holding it together and it pulled the wrapping off right with it, making a bit more noise than she wanted. But she quickly shoved the wrapping into the small trashcan at her feet. She plucked a plastic skewer out of the foam at the middle and bit into the strawberry. At least they were decent. Nothing was worse than a fruit basket with unripe or overripe fruit. At least the woman had done that right. The image flashed across her memory and she ripped a piece of cantaloupe from the arrangement a bit harder than she should have and the orange fruit bounced to the ground. She groaned audibly and reached for it, tossing it into the garbage as she went.
A half hour of combined effort to both accomplish office tasks and eating the smaller piece of fruit off the arrangement. The concern of someone asking where it had come from barely crossed her mind. There was no name on the basket so even if someone questioned her, she could easily say the delivery person hadn’t said who it was for. In the grand scheme of things, if someone was really that pissy about it, she’d order a better on and send it to them the next day. But she seriously doubted anyone would care. Plus, to her, it felt only right that she be the one to eat the fruit that blonde woman had sent. It was petty, non-violent revenge, which was not what she had been expecting, but it was cathartic nonetheless. She pulled another strawberry off of the arrangement, the short stick between her pointer and thumb, and at the same time as her lips curved around the chocolate, she heard Drew’s door open. Shit. Shit. Shit. She covered her mouth, trying to get the bit down she had eaten, dangling the other half below the cover of the desk. “I...grabbed a late lunch…” she said, pushing the arrangement toward the edge of the desk, just praying it didn’t look as bad as she knew it did.
Kennedy spent Monday night nursing a glass of wine...that she kept refilling and refilling and refilling until the bottle meant for multiple people was gone. She had dangled her glass over the edge of the couch, watched her cat run circles around himself in the apartment, and curled into herself without taking herself to bed. Tuesday she had texted Drew early, calling out, but not before covering her post; albeit, with Martha, but it was covered nonetheless. Her shower in the morning lasted well over a half an hour, the water turning colder and colder the longer she stayed. She wasn’t drawn from the frigid water until her phone went off: Kayleigh.
Kennedy spent most of the day on the phone with her best friend, who was struggling with her own problems of planning a wedding under the watchful eye of her future mother-in-law. Kennedy screamed, cried, kicked things, and had her cat on edge. Kayleigh echoed the same frustrations through at an entirely different point in her relationship. But the most difficult thing, after begging Kayleigh to stop with the ‘I told you so’, ‘wow, his face’, and ‘my god did he really go down on you like that’s, was that there was no such relationship to mourn or be angry over. She was, in all aspects, being irrational. The girls fell asleep on the phone with each other, though their usual laughter was not part of their conversation that night.
Wednesday’s light broke through the blinds of her apartment and she bit back the groan. Work. Drew. She dressed herself in as simple an outfit as she could, but she was unable to compensate for the emotions that coursed through her veins. Her personality crept in in simple ways - the nail polish matched the dress; the embroidery on the top of the dress, her lips. Her scarf was itchy, despite how soft the fabric was. His marks still lingered, though they were fading now.
The trip to the coffee shop had her more rattled than she expected. The barista who took her order was the same from the day she met Drew. The woman smiled and Kennedy stumbled over her order, and the order for Drew. She took the cups, wandered down the street to the office and simply stood outside for far longer than she needed to. The building was stories tall, towering over even the biggest sky scrapers in the city. And she was a part of it.
The elevator ride up to the office was longer than it usually. A solid couple of minutes, usually; but today, it seemed that everyone and their sister was getting in and out of the elevator. When she finally made it to the top, she stepped out, she walked right past Martha, who might have said something. Or not. She had shut it all out; her head was fuzzy. She was dizzy. But she kept her head high, set her bag on her desk, and walked right for his office. She knocked, twice, and then pushed the handle down, stepping in.
“I’ll have your schedule in to you in just a minute.” She said simply, nodding at him as she extended her hand, coffee in tow.
Rachel leaves Brett's and runs into Jesse at her apartment and they get some answers.
Rachel didn't exactly feel right leaving Brett but it had to be done. His recommendation of doordashing pregnancy tests, felt genuine and wasn't the worst idea, but it didn't feel right to her. She needed the time browsing at the store to clear her head. She squeezed his hand sadly one last time, before heading back to her own apartment. She's thankful it is only a flight of stairs to get back to it and once inside she finally lets the days events sink in. "Jesse?" Rachel calls out softly, "Are you here?"
Jesse had just gotten dinner started when he heard Rachel's voice. "I'm here. In the kitchen." He calls back to her.
She took a deep breath and made her way through the hall and into the kitchen. "Hey." Rachel tries to smile but there really isn't any use in the attempt as her eyes begin watering right away. "I think I made a mistake. A really big one."
"Hey yourself." Jesse greets her. He grows concerned as he notices her eyes watering. "A really big mistake? What kind of big mistake? You know you can tell me anything and it doesn't leave this apartment."
"Well, that's sort of the thing. It's already left the apartment." She can't help but rush into his arms. Jesse is safe and she could trust him without worrying, but this worried her in a totally different way. "I think I might be pregnant and I slept with you and Brett." She says it without looking him in the eyes. "I need to go get a test. I needed to tell you. I want to be with Brett. I don't know what to do right now at all."
"It has?" Jesse wraps his arms around Rachel. She could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge her. At the news that she might be pregnant, his eyes widen and his heart starts racing. "Are you sure? And who's Brett?" He looks down at her.
"I need to get a test because I'm not sure." Rachel repeats with a sigh. Of course he didn't know who Brett was. "He's a guy I really like. I had planned for this conversation to go different. This day was supposed to be so different." She pulls away from him, though a hand goes to his arm to squeeze. She's uncomfortable with herself right now but this is big news for him too. "My period is late. I don't know how I didn't notice before. I'm better than that."
"True." Jesse nods. He listens to her talk about Brett. "I see." His thoughts are still racing at the possibility of Rachel being pregnant, even if there's a chance the baby might not be his. "You've been busy, Rachel." He reaches over and touches her shoulder. "Let's get that test. If you want, I can go with you."
Rachel can’t tell if Jesse is mad at her or not but he’s not going to nasty right away, so she allowed herself to relax a little. She’s never not been able to trust him, which is kind of how they were in the position in the first place. Sex with Jesse was easy like most things. It’s why they worked as roommates. This just felt too complicated for them. For her. “You don’t need to come unless you want to. I just need air and to pick out as many as I think will make me believe the answer.” Rachel meets his eyes and swallows the lump growing in her throat. “How am I supposed to be a mom when I don’t have one? How am I supposed to give myself to someone when maybe I’m just carrying my best friends baby?”
"I want to come." Jesse tells her, turning off the preheating oven. "I don't want you to be alone at a time like this." Rachel was his best friend and he wanted to be there for her, no matter how weird he felt right now. "There are resources that can help you be a mom." Jesse told her, lifting her chin. "As for the giving yourself to someone part, it all just depends on the other person. He may be okay with it. Whatever it is, Rachel. We'll try to figure things out. We've always figured things out."
She isn’t surprised that he’s so quick to drop everything he’s doing for her. It makes her feel a little guilty but she doesn’t stop him. “Okay. Let’s just go before I lose my nerve.” Rachel goes to her room and grabs for her purse. “I know that we have always figured things out. But when I said this is beyond our apartment I meant it. This is really complicated in a way I can’t tell you because it’s not exactly my place.” Rachel pinches at the bridge of her nose. “I just want to be happy. I want to be happy with him. I want you to be happy too. It’s hard envisioning this is it.” And she’s talking with her hands as she walks around the apartment. “I’ve completely lost it.”
Jesse put the carrots he was chopping away. "It's okay. You don't have to explain everything." He sighs. "Rachel, I am happy. I will be happy if there is a baby on the way, or if there's not. And hopefully you can be happy with him, too." Jesse looks at her as she's walking around. "You're stressing out."
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She stops in place and glares at him. “Are you not stressing out about the idea of a crying baby in this apartment? You already hate when I wake you!” Her voice doesn’t raise but it sure does waver. “I’ve never even thought about it. I’ve had Vi to tame any thoughts of parenting.” She reminds him. “This is beyond stressful. Everything is beyond stressful. Why did you let me talk you into letting us come here?”
"I am stressing out about the idea of a crying baby in this apartment. I'm just in shock right now." Jesse's voice, like hers, doesn't raise. There was no use in shouting, anyway. "I know you've never thought about it. I sure haven't." He sighs. "You wanted a change and I wanted to be in your corner one hundred percent. And I am still in your corner one hundred percent."
Rachel just nods at him, unsure anything she says would come out the way she means it. Of course she loves his support and wouldn’t want him to be any other way, but his keeping cool was unnerving. “Let’s just go, okay? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
"Yeah, let's go." Jesse nods as he heads for the door. His legs feel weak, but he wills them to work. He needs to be there for Rachel. He can do all the panicking he wants later.
Rachel holds his hand the whole drive to the pharmacy. She's frantically looking up each brand of pregnancy test before picking an assortment of what the internet calls the most accurate. She has no experience with this and that is what scares her the most outside of the unknown of it all. "I'll grab some water too." She'll tell him, "But I can't promise I won't drink it all."
Jesse follows he into the pharmacy and stays by her as she picks her assortment. He feels helpless as he has no experience with this either, but at least he is there and that's what matters. "Okay. Don't worry about it. If you do, I'll pick up more."
"I don't deserve you." Rachel whispers, as she pays for everything and follows him out of the store. "I don't deserve him either." She sighs, looking to him sadly. "Please drive. I don't think I can do it."
Jesse looks at her. "You do deserve me. You deserve him, too." He tells her as he gets into the driver's seat of the car. He holds her hand the whole way home and helps carry everything in once there.
Rachel is silent as he drives, holding his hand tightly- though she doesn't have it in her to try and comfort him too. She's not sure she has it in her to do this at all but they make it back to the apartment and there is no other choice. "I don't know what to wish for. I don't know what to want."
"It's okay not to know what to want. This is a complicated situation." Jesse reassures her as he puts the water down for a minute. "All we can do is just wait for what the test says, probably." Internally, he is freaking out. What if she was pregnant? What if the baby is his?
Rachel retreats to the bathroom alone and somehow manages to pee enough to test on three of the tests they had gotten. Part of her wants to involve Jesse. The other part of feels like she should have stayed with Brett. She stays put in the bathroom alone, until the timer she set goes off. All three tests are negative and the sob of relief that racks her small frame is more than she can handle. Three tests wouldn't lie, would they?
After a few moments, Jesse heads toward the bathroom and stands by the door frame. He gently knocks at the door. "Is everything okay in there?" He asks, protective of Rachel.
Rachel just opens the door and hugs him tightly. "They're negative." Her voice is quiet. "All three of them." She doesn't actually know how to respond, the tears are still falling down her face and it didn't really explain why her period is late in the first place.
Jesse hugs Rachel tightly. He feels relief wash over him as she says she is not pregnant. This whole situation can hopefully blow over. "I think you should tell Brett. I'm sure he'd like to know."
"I think that I just need to go lie down." She whispers sadly. "He's so upset and I'm so tired." Rachel doesn't pull away from Jesse's embrace right away. "I'll call the doctor in the morning to be completely safe. I'm sorry I worried you for nothing."
"That's understandable." He says to her as he stands there, still concerned. "No worries about that. You only did what you thought was right in the situation."
Slowly she pulls away from him, "I love you Jesse. I don't know where I would be without you. You know that right? You're by far the best friend I've ever had."
"Love you too. You're the best friend I've ever had, too." He smiles at her. "You'd be here , just lonely without me."
Rachel gasps at him and with a playful little swat to his arm she retreats to her room.
He chuckles a little bit at the swat before going back to the kitchen.
Aiden can’t seem to keep his head on straight. Emanuel’s words keep going through his mind: The best kind of people catch you by surprise. And he knows what that’s supposed to mean. Luci has truly taken him by full surprise and he... doesn’t know how to handle it per sae. Aiden feels twisted up and out of sorts and it’s not exactly a bad thing, but it’s a little difficult to comprehend what it all means. Or... what it should or shouldn’t mean.
He hasn’t had the time to sort it out, lay it out for himself but the thing that Aiden does know is that Luci is someone he considers to be special to him. And that’s somewhat terrifying to him. There hasn’t been one damn day that’s done by since the egg timer text that they haven’t at least checked in. And well... That’s a lot to unpack.
Aiden hovers at the bar at this ridiculous, pompous country club that Holly’s parents are members of. He leans against the bar in slacks that he hates, and a fitted long sleeve that he also hates. It looks like he’s about to go to a party and the host’s name is Sterling or Preston. He really doesn’t care for this place, he can shoot the shit but only for so long until considers taking a billiard cue and stabbing himself with it.
Then he thinks he’d rather not because his dead corpse would still be billed for ruining the carpet.
Clara and Ken Marks are here, so Aiden already knows it’s going to be a long day.
WHO: Benji Karofsky (@benjikarofsky) and Franco Del Rio (@southsidefranco); Mentions Benji’s family [brother Dave, dad Paul, and unnamed mother]
WHERE: Franco’s trailer
WHEN: 11th April 2019 (Backdated)
NOTES: Ever attempting to be a good boyfriend, Benji comes to take care of Franco while he’s sick, leading to some fluff, so deep discussion, and a heart-to-heart
TRIGGERS: Abandonment and divorce. Very vague mentions of: self-harm, drug use, ‘gay bashing’, and homophobic microaggressions
BOLD: Benji
ITALIC: Franco
WORD COUNT: 5818
Franco did not feel great. His throat was sore, his eyes were red and stinging and he felt like death. He had gotten up only to unlock the door for Benji when he would arrive and then crawled back under the covers, his body soaked with sweat, his hair wet for the same reason. He wasn't sure what was wrong but he assumed it was flu or an infection and the drugs had lowered his immune system meaning he'd gotten hit hard. He'd made sure he gotten a hit only an hour or so ago and if he was tired, which he had been all day, he's just blame the illness. Knowing Benji was coming, he'd managed to through a zipped jacket on before getting back under the covers.
"Franc?" Benji called, walking through the front door of Franco's trailer, recyclable bags full of groceries and other supplies to help with Franco's cold in his hands. He made way to the kitchen area and set the grocery bags on the counter before walking into Franco's room. "Oh... Babe..." he cooed, walking up to the bed and gently cupping the side of Franco's face. "You're burning up, Babe... Did you take your temperature?"
Franco coughed as he sat himself up a little, his body shaking but his skin damp, "Hey babe" he said, his voice weak from the pain in his throat, "No, I don't think Dare has a thermometer here or anything so I kinda just went for calling myself sick" he said with half a laugh, "I probably stink, I haven't left the bed at all today, not even too smoke".
Benji placed his hand against Franco's forehead for a second, then gave him a soft kiss. "You've definitely got a fever, Babe," he confirmed after he pulled back, "But that's okay. I'll take care of you. ...Have you taken any medicine yet?"
Franco tried to nuzzle into Benji's hand but it was gone before he got a chance, "Yeah I feel cold but I know I'm really hot and it's a really funny feeling" he mumbled. He smiled at Benj and nodded, "No, I didn't know what I could take and I don't really do medication or drugs..."
"That's okay," Benji responded, smiling at Franco; Benji found something oddly tame and cute about Franco being sick. "Give me a sec." He left the bedroom and grabbed a bag from the kitchen area before coming back into the room. "Paul used to get sick all the time, so you have to trust me on this, okay?" He jutted a thermos out to Franco to take, a small pill capsule balanced on top of the lid.
"The thermos is Theraflu mixed with regular tea and honey. It'll help with your throat. The pill is DayQuil. Take that too, okay?"
Franco looked at the pill and shook his head, "Nope... Nu-uh... No pills" he said moving it too the dresser, "I don't do pills" he explained, "I'll drink the crap in the flask but no pills Benj, I just can't". His eyes felt heavy but sleep kept evading him, "It's so fucking hot" he breathed.
"Okay," Benji conceded, "No pills. Understood." When Franco mentioned he was hot, Benji tugged at his boyfriend's blankets, trying to cool him down a bit. "Oh, Babe... You're wearing a jacket. You have to take that off. You're gonna overheat," he explained, starting to unzip it.
Franco knew he should fight a Benji taking his jacket off but he didn’t have the energy for it and he was burning up in it, “The blankets gotta be pulled up” he breathed, “I’m naked under my jacket” he said with a half giggle.
"You're naked, huh?" Benji teased, unzipping the jacket the rest of the way. He placed his hand on Franco's chest and playfully winked, but then helped Franco slide the jacket the rest of the way off and pulled the blanket back up. "Since you're sick, I'll behave, but know I don't want to," he teased. "Do you want company? Or do you want penicillin?"
Franco smiled a goofy smile and held out his hands for Benji to hold, "If I didn't feel so rough, I'd be letting you touch but I'm sticky and sweaty and ugh" he said. He thought about the question, "I wanna be a spoon... But a little spoon"
Benji nodded, climbing onto the bed. "Little spoon? I can do that." He wiggled his way under the covers and wrapped his arms around Franco, bringing his head to Franco's shoulder and cuddling him close. "You're not sweaty. It's your natural pheromones. Mmm," Benji hummed, breathing in his boyfriend's scent, "And I like them."
Franco intertwined his fingers with Benji's as be curled his body a little bit, "My whole body aches" he complained, "And my head feels like it's gunna split in two".
Benji nodded, "I know, Babe. I'm sorry..." he cooed, hugging Franco a little tighter. "But you didn't want pills, so I'm not sure how to help other than just holding you until it passes." He admitted, kissing his neck.
Franco nodded, "Can't do pills. Not after what happened". He rolled so he was facing Benji and gently nudged him onto his back, resting his head on Benji's chest, "I ache" he repeated, his voice heavy from tiredness, "Can I sleep"
"Of course, Babe," he wrapped his arm around Franco and cuddled him close, letting his hand mindlessly move up and down his boyfriend's torso. "I'll be here when you wake up, okay?" he whispered.
Franco found he fell asleep easily in Benji's arms and he stayed asleep for a few hours as his body worked on repairing him but, when he woke up, still in Benji's arms, his body seemed to be sweating more and his head was still pounding. He woke up with a loud cough, "Babe" he said, his body still half asleep, "Babe"
"Shhh. Still here," Benji cooed, running his arm down Franco's torso. He turned his head slightly to look down at Franco on his chest. "Feeling any better?" he asked, running his finger through Franco's hair. "There's an ice pack on the side table. I tried to put it on you while you were sleeping, but it kept falling off. There's also a bowl of penicillin there if you wanna take a few sips. Just made it."
Franco smiled into Benji's chest but shook his head, "My head really hurts still". He looked over at the ice pack, "It's too cold" he breathed, pulling the duvet up around his sweating body. He didn't look at the penicillin though but rolled onto his back, groaning as he did, "When did it get cold?"
"Baby, if the ice pack's too cold to use, then you have to at least take off the blankets. You're gonna overheat if you do nothing," Benji responded, cuddling back up to Franc. "Do you wanna take the blankets off?"
Franco shook his head but in the same action, rolled the blanket of his body, his torso shimmering with sweat as he moved himself into a sitting position, his back leaning against the wall behind him. He brought his hands into his lap, "You come to look after me?"
"Of course, I did, Babe." Benji sat up as well and cupped Franco's cheek to pull him to a kiss. As he pulled back, he leaned over Franco to grab the thermos of tea, but stopped short when he saw Franco's arms. "Oh, Franc..." Benji whispered, his voice cautious, but still full of concern. "I care about you so much. Please tell me you're not hurting yourself..." he murmured, his finger tracing next to one of the scars on Franco's arm.
Franco kissed him and then followed his eyes as they found his arm and Benji started tracing the marks. He gulped and shook his head, "No" he breathed, "They are scars from the kidnapping" he spoke gently, his sickness making him let his walls down a little more then normal, "They are called track marks or scars and it's from the amount of drugs they put in my system".
Benji couldn't help but frown as Franco explained what happened. "I still can't completely process that that happened to you... I'm so glad you're okay," he responded, still tracing his finger around the tracks. "I'll see if there's any remedies for scar marks in the pile of stuff my mom left when I get home, okay? It sounds like something she would've had..."
Slowly, Benji leaned down and kissed the scars on Franco's arm, then placed a trail of kisses up his arm until he reached Franco's lips. "Just remember: they're healing. Just like you," he added, before pulling Franco into a deep kiss.
Franco shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, I never thought something like that would happen too me and I really wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Darius coming in and saving me with Charlie's help". He watched as Benji continued to trace the marks, guilt flooding his brain as he knew he was doing this to himself now and then as he kissed the marks he smiled a small sad smile.
He kissed Benji back but pulled back to have a coughing fit, "Sorry, so romantic when I'm sick" he breathed, regaining his breathing after it, "I don't wanna lose them, they kind of tell my story for me and people generally don't ask" he added, referring back to what was said before the kiss.
Benji shrugged, his hand still cupping Franco's face. "I don't always need romantic. I just need you." He finally let his hand drop and reached over to grab the thermos. "You're healing emotionally and physically with or without the scars. If you wanna keep the scars, that's your choice to make," he explained matter-of-factly. "You've been asleep for hours. You have to drink some of this tea or you're gonna dehydrate."
Franco nodded, "I need you too babe" he agreed, his hand reaching for Benji's spare hand, "I mean, physically I'm pretty much there but mentally, I don't know. It doesn't seem to get better", another lie. It had gotten better but only because he was drugges most of the time. He nodded and used his empty hand to take the flask, drinking a small amount, "Can't I just have some water" he moaned as he continued to drink the tea.
Benji couldn't help but giggle softly. "So whiny," he teased, rubbing Franco's side as he drank. "Water doesn't rehydrate you fast enough. You need other liquids first. Then you can have all the water you want," he explained. "Do you want gatorade? I bought some."
"I don't like being sick. I never get sick" he complained again, "I know but I like water sometimes". He heard the word Gatorade and his eyes widened, "Yes, I want the Gatorade" he said, practically jumping forward, "Please"
"Understood!" Benji replied, unable to hold back laughter--Franco's reaction had caught him off-guard. He hopped out of the bed and grabbed two Gatorades from where he had stashed them in the fridge. "Red or blue?" he offered, holding up both. "I'll put the other one on your head to hopefully cool you down a bit."
Franco smiled at the bottles, “I want both” he said, almost childlike, “And I can get up and stand outside to cool down” he suggested, even though he had no energy to get up, “Then I can smoke a cigarette”.
Benji smiled, then playfully rolled his eyes, "Okay, Francie... Well which one do you want first?" At the mention of getting up, Benji shook his head and climbed back onto the bed so he was sitting on the blanket, but in between Franco's legs . "Nope. No getting up until you've had more liquids. I don't want you passing out. And definitely no cigarettes... I don't mind you smoking usually, but not before you feel a little better. You're coughing enough as-is."
Franco smiled, "Francie... I like that but I want the blue gatorade first". He watched Benji sit between his legs and his lips dropped into a sulky pout, "But I want a smoke" he breathed, "I haven't had one all day and I thought you cared" he pouted more.
Benji rolled his eyes, then kissed Franco's pouted lip. "I'm not letting you have a smoke because I care. Smoking is bad for you all the time, but especially when you’re sick. I have to put my foot down somewhere." He gently leaned his forehead against Franco's and smiled. "And don't think that cute little pout is just gonna make me melt into a puddle and do anything you want, either," he teased, giving Franco a pout of his own.
Franco nodded, "I guess you are right and one day, I'll quit smoking and I'll be really healthy but today is not that day" he smiled against Benji's lips and sighed, "My face really should be what makes you melt and do everything I ask... Including food? I need food?"
Benji pursed his lips at Franco, giving a cutesy smooch sound. "You have to have some penicillin first. Then, if you stomach it well, I'll make you something more hearty. Whatever you want."
Franco nodded and reached over for the Penicillin but he honestly felt so weak, he nearly dropped the container, "Babe, I'm not feeling up for it" he admitted, "Maybe I won't be having something hearty after all"
Benji frowned but nodded, scooting back a little so he could grab the package of crackers next to the bowl of soup. "Wanna at least try a saltine?" he offered, putting the square up to his boyfriend's lips. "You have to get something in that stomach of yours, Babe. You're exhausted enough."
Franco leant his head forward and took the square, chewing it slowly and savouring real food, "It's good" he breathed but as soon as he followed, be started coughing again, one hand grabbing at Benji from the pain it was causing and one hand reaching for his Gatorade.
Benji grabbed the Gatorade and placed it in Franco's reaching hand, rubbing his boyfriend's back with his hand to try to help soothe his coughs. "They're probably a little too dry for you right now," he explained, still rubbing Franco's back. "I want you to eat more though. We just need to make sure you have gatorade to chase it." He kissed Franco's ear, then pulled back. "I bought a bunch and it's in the fridge, so don't worry. Drink as much as you want."
Franco managed to control the coughing with the help of Benji and the Gatorade and slumped back against the wall, "I'm sorry" he breathed, "I never get sick and never rely on any one but look at me". He leant his head against Benji's shoulder, "I'm so hungry".
"Shhh," Benji cooed. "It's okay to rely on me, Francie. I'm your boyfriend. That's literally what I'm here for." He slowly picked up another cracker and put it to Franco's lips, the bottle of gatorade already uncapped and ready in Benji's other hand. "Chew," he whispered.
Franco nodded, "Boyfriend" he whispered, the word still so new too him, "It'll take some getting used too" he admitted. He took the cracker and ate it slowly, chasing it straight with the Gatorade, "I'm still sleepy".
"Boyfriend," Benji repeated softly with a smile, hugging Franco close. "A couple more crackers, then I'll let you sleep more, okay?" he offered, putting another cracker up to his lips.
Franco rested his head on Benji and nodded, "More crackers? But they make me cough" he whined. He sighed, "I don't think I should sleep more. I won't sleep tonight otherwise".
Benji smiled down at Franco. He couldn't stop himself from seeing the cuteness in all his child-like complaints. "You have to eat something, my Motek," he explained, putting the cracker to his lip again. "Just keep drinking gatorade in between. It'll help. ...Wanna watch a movie on my laptop?" he offered.
Franco pouted again but took the cracker and ate, chasing it straight down with the Gatorade. He sighed and as he did, started to cough again, the Gatorade nearly slipping from his hand, "I think I'm sick" he breathed, his breathing ragged, "Like really sick".
“Yes, Babe. You’re sick,” Benji confirmed, rubbing his back through the cough. “That’s why I’m taking care of you!” He took the Gatorade out of Franco’s hand and placed it back onto the night stand. “How about we watch a movie or something on my laptop and just lay down, huh? The more you can relax, the better.”
Franco sighed and looked at Benji with puppy dog eyes, "Please can I have a smoke?" He asked, "I've not had one all day and I really need one babe*.
Benji had to avoid Franco's eyes to keep himself from falling for his boyfriend's plea. As much as he tried to be immune to it, there was something about Franco's pitiful, sick little face that made him melt. "No, Franc," Benji eventually replied. "It's bad for you. You should be happy I even let you smoke when you're not sick."
Franco pouted and dropped his fist in a tantrum like manner and let out a groan, "Babe, I'm craving it right now and if it were my place I'd smoke right here, please" he practically begged.
Benji frowned, "Franc, you can barely eat a saltine without coughing your lungs out. And you're too tired to pick up a bowl of soup." He kissed Franco softly, trying to calm him back down. "I know it's frustrating, but this is for the best, okay? No smoking right now."
Franco huffed, he'd never been denied a cigarette before, "Fine but if I ger grumpy, you have yourself to blame" he said, his tone showing he was not happy, "I'm bored" he whined
Benji simply nodded, not trying to make Franco any more upset than he already was. "How about a movie or TV Show? We can watch it on my laptop and cuddle?" he offered.
Franco side eyed Benji and huffed once more before taking a sip of his drink and looking at the soup, "If I eat some of that can I have one?" He asked, "And if you say yes, can you help me eat some of that? And then we can watch the movie?"
Benji sighed dramatically. "If you have this bowl of soup, I'll let you have a smoke," he conceded. Normally, he'd be content with Franco being a little upset with him, but he knew he needed to get his boyfriend to drink the soup if in order to get better and he wasn't going to be able to get there until Franco got what he wanted. He leaned over to get the bowl and placed it on Franco's lap. "Deal?"
Franco grinned for the first time all day and nodded, "But you have got to help" he said looking down at the soup and then up to Benji, "How'd I get so lucky?" he asked out of the blue, using a spare hand to find Benji's, "I don't really deserve someone like you".
Benji playfully rolled his eyes, but still kept Franco's hand in his. "You're just saying that because I'm finally gonna let you smoke. Stop it," he replied, pouting slightly. He brought the bowl to face-level, then spooned a bit of the soup. "Here comes the train," he teased, putting the spoon up to Franco's lips.
Franco shook his head, "I said help me with the soup, not treat me like I am a child" he laughed. He took the soup of the spoon and swallowed slowly, not wanting to cough it all back up again, "And I said it cause I meant it Benj".
Benji smiled, leaning forward to give Franco a soft peck. "Stop it with the 'deserving' stuff. You deserve everything good that happens to you in life. If you feel like one of those things is me, then that's wonderful too. But know you deserve it." He offered Franco the spoon, still holding up the bowl so it was easier for Franco to eat out of.
Franco shook his head, "Oh if only you were right this time around" he breathed, "I just haven't ever been perfect and then theres you who is pretty much the closest I'll get to perfection". He took someone more soup and savoured the taste, "So good" he moaned
"It's penicillin!" Benji replied, unable to hold back a giggle. "Of course it's good. We've been perfecting this since the Dark Ages. And that's not an exaggeration." He purposely ignored Franco's claims that he didn't deserve him, replying instead with a simple, "Finish your penicillin so we can watch a movie."
Franco shrugged his shoulders, "They never gave me pain meds in the form of soup before" he smiled, "And other then Dare, no one tried to spoonfed me them either. It's why I was in the hospital for so long, I refused the medication". He continued to eat the soup but after about 7 spoons, he shook his head, "I feel really full" he admitted.
Benji nodded and leaned over to set the bowl back down on the table. "Does your throat feel any better? Everything not gonna magically get better with a few sips, but I wouldn't be surprised if your throat was at least a little less dry now," he explained, cupping the side of Franco's face in his hand as he stared at him lovingly.
Franco smiled and nodded, "Yeah it's not as dry but I feel a little sick now" he admitted, "Nothing to do with taste, I've been feeling nauseous all day" he breathed, leaning into Benji's hand.
"I know, Motek," Benji cooed, running his hand down Franco's face. "There's a trash can next to the bed if you need it. I'm hopeful the nausea will pass though. The penicillin won't do much good if it's not in your stomach. ...Do you wanna try laying down?"
Franco looked down at the floor next to the bed, "Please Benji, I have far too much dignity to throw up in front of you". He looked at the night stand and sat up, flinging his legs over the side of the bed and grabbing his cigarettes. As he stood though, he fell backwards, landing back down on the bed, "Help me" he practically begged
Benji stared at him for a second, his arms crossed. "Franc... this is why I didn't want you to try to go smoke. You're not well enough yet. If you can barely eat soup and you can barely stand up, do you really think I should help you go smoke," Benji reprimanded, moving Franco to a more comfortable position on the bed instead of helping him get up like he requested. "...Can we at least raincheck the smoke break until the movie and you've rested a little more?"
Franco sighed but felt emotions in him rising and frustration building, "Please" he begged, his eyes glistening with tears, "I need to have a cigarette babe, please" he hates begging but his cravings were strong.
Benji stayed with his arms crossed for a moment before sighing dramatically and finally conceding. "...Don't ever say I don't care about you," he grumbled, putting Franco's arm around his neck so he could pick him up and walk him outside of the trailer. He gently placed Franco down on the second step outside the front door then leaned against the doorframe, his arms back to being crossed. "I'm giving you 5 minutes, Franc."
Franco sighed a breath of relief and held onto Benji until he was sat down on the step. He instantly pulled his cigarettes out and lit one whilst he shivered on the step. His body was still really warm so the cold air would cool him down but his body shivered in the wind, "Judge all you want, we all have a vice".
"Uh huh... And what's mine?" Benji questioned, looking down at Franco with his arms still crossed.
Franco shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "Me?" He asked playfully, looking up at Benji, his arms wrapped around himself as he continued to smoke
Benji scoffed, then looked at Franco to tell him he was wrong, but after a second of thought, he realized he had a point. "...Fine," he replied, his arms still crossed.
Franco raised an eyebrow, "Really?" He asked, "I'm a vice? I can take that" he grinned. He finished his cigarette and tried to push himself up, "So, am I the bad thing that's really good for you?" He added before admitting defeat.
Benji rolled his eyes and scooped Franco up, purposely choosing not to respond to his boyfriend's comment. He carefully carried Franco back into the trailer and set him back down on the bed before climbing onto the bed and laying next to him. "Okay. Which movie do you wanna watch, Francie?"
Franco pouted, "Don't avoid my question" he breathed out, "I wanna know your answer. You like me to answer questions right?". He thought about then movie and then what he just said, "Why don't we get to know each other, like actually open up a little".
Benji sighed, cuddling close to him. “You know how to push every button I have in order to get what you want. That makes you a vice, Babe,” he admitted. At Franco’s suggestion, he nodded, “Sure. How should we do this?”
Franco smiled and nodded, "I don't try you know. I just, I'm pretty much an ass". He looked up at Benji and shrugged his shoulders, "You ask me a question and no matter how hard the answer, I tell you it. Then I ask you one".
Benji nodded, then thought for a moment before coming up with a good first question. "...When did you know you wanted to date me? Like, what was the distinguishing thing?"
Franco sighed, "Probably when you said you wanted to go for coffee with that guy. I thought we'd had a good time and then I was a little crushed. It was then I knew I had feelings for you that weren't purely sexual". He thought and then asked, "What made you actually want to go on that first proper date?".
"A lot of things," Benji admitted, "I was trying to get over Topher, obviously. But I also felt bad that I was just using you for sex and wanted to do something new with you. But I also felt, like..." he paused for a moment, unable to formulate his thoughts, "something. I don't really know how to explain it... Like, that there was more about you behind the walls. Parts of you that I would like. ...that's why I decided on a date. And why I wanted a real one. I think I subconsciously knew that something good could come out of it."
He looked down and gave Franco a peck on his forehead before he asked, "...Do you think I'm a good boyfriend?"
Franco smiled at Benji's word, "You really felt something? Even about me when I did nothing but try and push your buttons". He snuggled into Benji's arms and smiled, a sigh of contentment leaving his lips.
Franco smirked, "I suppose you're alright" he joked but he turned his head and nodded, "You are good too me and good for me, both things I really needed right now". He thought and then asked, "Am I helping you move on?"
"You are," Benji replied, mindlessly running his finger through Franco's hair as he spoke. "It's... hard to get over someone you've loved for that long. ...And you trying to beat him to a pulp definitely didn't help things--" he sighed lightly-- "but it is slowly getting easier. Because I'm not at the 'just move on'-stage anymore. I like you, Francie. I really, honestly, like you. And I like our relationship."
He paused for a moment. "...Do you think I could help you stop smoking?"
Franco sighed, "I didn't want to hurt him, I wanted to hurt something which is why I kept punching the wall but I saw red and only thought about how he could take it like a Serpent could". He smiled at the words that followed and looked for Benji's spare hand, linking their fingers together.
Franco shook his head, "I don't want to give up Benji" he admitted, knowing it was that and the heroin that kept him going, "I like smoking and I don't want to stop for anyone. If they hurt you, you go back tenfold". He thought about his next question, "Would your family disapprove of your choice in me? Being a gang member and all".
Benji shook his head lightly, "Doesn't make it okay, Franc..." he reminded softly, obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore.
"But Franc, it's so bad for you... And it's bad for me too, y'know... I just hate that you're doing something that you know is hurting you just because it feels good... there's other things you can do. Things that are healthier for you," he sighed lightly before continuing, "I'm... I'm not gonna force you. Just know that quitting is better for you. And if you ever decide to, I'll be here for every step."
At the mention of his parents, Benji paused. He had never thought about it before. "Paul won't care," he explained, unsure what else to say there, "he tries to be supportive, but raising two gay sons... it all really goes over his macho head. Knowing him, he'd probably think it's normal for gay guys to date gang members," he joked. "As far as Dave... I don't know. I mean, he’s my brother. I'd like to think he'd accept it since he cares about me and my feelings and everything, but... you never know. I don't know."
He shifted slightly, "...If I asked you to, would you come to synagogue for Shabat one Friday?"
Franco shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe not but I would have tried to fight literally anyone at that point".
Franco shook his head, "And I'll quit when I am ready OK? Please don't try and convince me otherwise" he said, almost begging.
Franco listened to Benji talk about his family and sighed, "Paul is your dad right? Why don't you call him dad?" he asked, his mind full of questions about his family, "Like, your brother should understand about being gay and if he's gay, he'll see how attractive I am and be jealous" Franco tried to joke, "What about your mum?" he asked.
Franco paused at the question and shrugged his shoulders again, "Erm, I mean I could try but I would probably just burst into flames before I got through the door".
"Because he..." Benji shrugged, "Because he doesn't get me. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a fucking queerbasher when he was in school. And like, sure, he's tried to be better now, having two gay sons and all, but..." he waved the end of the sentence off, deciding to explain another way. "Unlike Dave, I was born in a transparent closet. The moment I was able to walk, I wanted to dance--dance ballet--, and Paul never found a way to connect with me. He and Dave, they could at least bond over sports, y'know? But me and Paul... nothing. And he tried... I guess... but it... was never the right stuff. Like the only reason why I know Krav Maga was because he forced me to take it. I wasn't allowed to do ballet unless I did them both."
At the mention of his mom, he looked away. "I don't know anything about my mom. All I know is that she was Paul's second marriage and that she was Jewish... They didn’t last that long. She packed up her shit and left Riverdale. Haven't heard from her since. No letter, no call, no visit... not once my whole life..." he let his thought trail off and crossed his arms, too upset now to comment on Franco's joke.
Franco listened hard and then he looked up at Benji and shifted, deciding to envelop the man in his arms and hold him instead of the other way around, "Hey babe" he breathed, "We can stop talking about this if you want" he breathed, kissing the side of Benji's head, "It really sucks to grow up without a family. I mean, I was lucky I had mine up till I was 18 and then I ran away from them and I never looked back". He held Benji close, "Come on, you mean so much too me, I don't like to see you sad".
Benji leaned into Franco's arms, but kept his own crossed, upset with himself for accidentally opening up old wounds. He took a deep, shaky breath, then turned to Franco, ignoring the stinging in his eyes. "Maybe we do the movie now," he replied, it more of a plea than a question.
Franco watched Benji and gulped, “I upset you didn’t I?” He asked, his own smile fading as he kissed Benji’s head again, “I’m sorry, but I don’t wanna watch a movie. I just wanna lie down cause I feel sick again”.
"I'm not upset with you," he replied, taking a deep breath. "We can stay here... That's fine. Let's just... change the subject."
Franco moved himself away from Benji and back to the pillows on his bed, resting his head down as he rolled onto his back. His body has started to shiver and sweat again and he felt sick as he clutched his stomach, “Tell me something good” he breathed through the pain.
Benji sat up a little, then looked down at Franco, giving him a soft smile. "Something good? Hmm..." he thought for a moment, then smiled, "We've been dating for 2 weeks now. That's a good thing."
Franco watched Benji, anything to distract him from the nauseous feeling in his stomach and his eyes widened a little, "2 weeks? You mean it's been three weeks since you came over and fucked me and called me an asshole on your way out the door?"
Benji rolled his eyes, "I mean... I was trying to focus on the happy part of it, but, I mean... that's technically true..."
Franco shrugged his shoulders, "The happy part? The first couple times we met, I am sure we hated each other and that was some hot hate sex" he laughed, "How it became this, I don't even know" and he moved a hand from his stomach, grabbing Benji's hand and smiling, "But I am glad it did".
Benji smiled back, giving Franco a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'm glad it did too, Motek."
