TRIPLE CHECK | ST. BERRY
Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James( @jesse-stjames)
mentions of @brettanderson835
Rachel leaves Brett's and runs into Jesse at her apartment and they get some answers.
Rachel didn't exactly feel right leaving Brett but it had to be done. His recommendation of doordashing pregnancy tests, felt genuine and wasn't the worst idea, but it didn't feel right to her. She needed the time browsing at the store to clear her head. She squeezed his hand sadly one last time, before heading back to her own apartment. She's thankful it is only a flight of stairs to get back to it and once inside she finally lets the days events sink in. "Jesse?" Rachel calls out softly, "Are you here?"
Jesse had just gotten dinner started when he heard Rachel's voice. "I'm here. In the kitchen." He calls back to her.
She took a deep breath and made her way through the hall and into the kitchen. "Hey." Rachel tries to smile but there really isn't any use in the attempt as her eyes begin watering right away. "I think I made a mistake. A really big one."
"Hey yourself." Jesse greets her. He grows concerned as he notices her eyes watering. "A really big mistake? What kind of big mistake? You know you can tell me anything and it doesn't leave this apartment."
"Well, that's sort of the thing. It's already left the apartment." She can't help but rush into his arms. Jesse is safe and she could trust him without worrying, but this worried her in a totally different way. "I think I might be pregnant and I slept with you and Brett." She says it without looking him in the eyes. "I need to go get a test. I needed to tell you. I want to be with Brett. I don't know what to do right now at all."
"It has?" Jesse wraps his arms around Rachel. She could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge her. At the news that she might be pregnant, his eyes widen and his heart starts racing. "Are you sure? And who's Brett?" He looks down at her.
"I need to get a test because I'm not sure." Rachel repeats with a sigh. Of course he didn't know who Brett was. "He's a guy I really like. I had planned for this conversation to go different. This day was supposed to be so different." She pulls away from him, though a hand goes to his arm to squeeze. She's uncomfortable with herself right now but this is big news for him too. "My period is late. I don't know how I didn't notice before. I'm better than that."
"True." Jesse nods. He listens to her talk about Brett. "I see." His thoughts are still racing at the possibility of Rachel being pregnant, even if there's a chance the baby might not be his. "You've been busy, Rachel." He reaches over and touches her shoulder. "Let's get that test. If you want, I can go with you."
Rachel can’t tell if Jesse is mad at her or not but he’s not going to nasty right away, so she allowed herself to relax a little. She’s never not been able to trust him, which is kind of how they were in the position in the first place. Sex with Jesse was easy like most things. It’s why they worked as roommates. This just felt too complicated for them. For her. “You don’t need to come unless you want to. I just need air and to pick out as many as I think will make me believe the answer.” Rachel meets his eyes and swallows the lump growing in her throat. “How am I supposed to be a mom when I don’t have one? How am I supposed to give myself to someone when maybe I’m just carrying my best friends baby?”
"I want to come." Jesse tells her, turning off the preheating oven. "I don't want you to be alone at a time like this." Rachel was his best friend and he wanted to be there for her, no matter how weird he felt right now. "There are resources that can help you be a mom." Jesse told her, lifting her chin. "As for the giving yourself to someone part, it all just depends on the other person. He may be okay with it. Whatever it is, Rachel. We'll try to figure things out. We've always figured things out."
She isn’t surprised that he’s so quick to drop everything he’s doing for her. It makes her feel a little guilty but she doesn’t stop him. “Okay. Let’s just go before I lose my nerve.” Rachel goes to her room and grabs for her purse. “I know that we have always figured things out. But when I said this is beyond our apartment I meant it. This is really complicated in a way I can’t tell you because it’s not exactly my place.” Rachel pinches at the bridge of her nose. “I just want to be happy. I want to be happy with him. I want you to be happy too. It’s hard envisioning this is it.” And she’s talking with her hands as she walks around the apartment. “I’ve completely lost it.”
Jesse put the carrots he was chopping away. "It's okay. You don't have to explain everything." He sighs. "Rachel, I am happy. I will be happy if there is a baby on the way, or if there's not. And hopefully you can be happy with him, too." Jesse looks at her as she's walking around. "You're stressing out."
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She stops in place and glares at him. “Are you not stressing out about the idea of a crying baby in this apartment? You already hate when I wake you!” Her voice doesn’t raise but it sure does waver. “I’ve never even thought about it. I’ve had Vi to tame any thoughts of parenting.” She reminds him. “This is beyond stressful. Everything is beyond stressful. Why did you let me talk you into letting us come here?”
"I am stressing out about the idea of a crying baby in this apartment. I'm just in shock right now." Jesse's voice, like hers, doesn't raise. There was no use in shouting, anyway. "I know you've never thought about it. I sure haven't." He sighs. "You wanted a change and I wanted to be in your corner one hundred percent. And I am still in your corner one hundred percent."
Rachel just nods at him, unsure anything she says would come out the way she means it. Of course she loves his support and wouldn’t want him to be any other way, but his keeping cool was unnerving. “Let’s just go, okay? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
"Yeah, let's go." Jesse nods as he heads for the door. His legs feel weak, but he wills them to work. He needs to be there for Rachel. He can do all the panicking he wants later.
Rachel holds his hand the whole drive to the pharmacy. She's frantically looking up each brand of pregnancy test before picking an assortment of what the internet calls the most accurate. She has no experience with this and that is what scares her the most outside of the unknown of it all. "I'll grab some water too." She'll tell him, "But I can't promise I won't drink it all."
Jesse follows he into the pharmacy and stays by her as she picks her assortment. He feels helpless as he has no experience with this either, but at least he is there and that's what matters. "Okay. Don't worry about it. If you do, I'll pick up more."
"I don't deserve you." Rachel whispers, as she pays for everything and follows him out of the store. "I don't deserve him either." She sighs, looking to him sadly. "Please drive. I don't think I can do it."
Jesse looks at her. "You do deserve me. You deserve him, too." He tells her as he gets into the driver's seat of the car. He holds her hand the whole way home and helps carry everything in once there.
Rachel is silent as he drives, holding his hand tightly- though she doesn't have it in her to try and comfort him too. She's not sure she has it in her to do this at all but they make it back to the apartment and there is no other choice. "I don't know what to wish for. I don't know what to want."
"It's okay not to know what to want. This is a complicated situation." Jesse reassures her as he puts the water down for a minute. "All we can do is just wait for what the test says, probably." Internally, he is freaking out. What if she was pregnant? What if the baby is his?
Rachel retreats to the bathroom alone and somehow manages to pee enough to test on three of the tests they had gotten. Part of her wants to involve Jesse. The other part of feels like she should have stayed with Brett. She stays put in the bathroom alone, until the timer she set goes off. All three tests are negative and the sob of relief that racks her small frame is more than she can handle. Three tests wouldn't lie, would they?
After a few moments, Jesse heads toward the bathroom and stands by the door frame. He gently knocks at the door. "Is everything okay in there?" He asks, protective of Rachel.
Rachel just opens the door and hugs him tightly. "They're negative." Her voice is quiet. "All three of them." She doesn't actually know how to respond, the tears are still falling down her face and it didn't really explain why her period is late in the first place.
Jesse hugs Rachel tightly. He feels relief wash over him as she says she is not pregnant. This whole situation can hopefully blow over. "I think you should tell Brett. I'm sure he'd like to know."
"I think that I just need to go lie down." She whispers sadly. "He's so upset and I'm so tired." Rachel doesn't pull away from Jesse's embrace right away. "I'll call the doctor in the morning to be completely safe. I'm sorry I worried you for nothing."
"That's understandable." He says to her as he stands there, still concerned. "No worries about that. You only did what you thought was right in the situation."
Slowly she pulls away from him, "I love you Jesse. I don't know where I would be without you. You know that right? You're by far the best friend I've ever had."
"Love you too. You're the best friend I've ever had, too." He smiles at her. "You'd be here , just lonely without me."
Rachel gasps at him and with a playful little swat to his arm she retreats to her room.
He chuckles a little bit at the swat before going back to the kitchen.