Mar 27
paranoia is so cool I wish dystopian hell was real
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paranoia is so cool I wish dystopian hell was real
Have you played PARANOIA ?
By Greg Costikyan, Dan Gelber, Eric Goldberg, and Allen Varney
A comedic RPG where you play as cloned Troubleshooters (there to find trouble - and shoot it) in a futuristic dystopian city ruled by the obviously benevolent Friend Computer. Hunt down Commie Mutant Traitors (while yourself being a member of illicit secret societies, a mutant, and a traitor), struggle to complete impossible missions and navigate dense bureaucratic nonsense, while blaming your teammates for everything that goes wrong.
You are a Troubleshooter in a future city controlled by Friend Computer. Friend Computer makes all the rules and is never wrong, even when Friend Computer contradicts itself. You just don't have the clearance to understand the nuance of what Friend Computer said. It's important to root out secret societies and factions who are threats to Friend Computer and the city. Don't worry about dying, your clone will pick up where you left off. Infiltrating an underground movement is a great way to monitor it and learn about its plans! Remember that all members of underground movements must be stopped and this includes yourself, now that you just joined it.
Fun note: the largest underground secret society in Paranoia is a honey pot which was created as cover by Troubleshooters to try to spy on other secret societies but then all those societies started having their members join it to spy on it (and then other Troubleshooters who saw a new movement spring up and grow overnight) and now its membership roster is enormous (and full of people who are just there to try to take it down and stop its plans, which it doesn't actually have). They still conduct meetings and such just to keep up the illusion of being a real group and lure in more people. Also Friend Computer has absolutely been hacked and reprogrammed by city leadership SO many times to make it say things the leadership wants which has lead to it being a bug and error-riddled mass of paranoia full of confusing and frequently impossible directives. This is that kind of game.
Have you played ?
Yes I have played it
No but I've read it
no but I've heard of it
Never heard of it
Idea: play a World of Darkness campaign about being a creature with a strange form of immortality across multiple bodies. Lean into the angst of identity and secrets that you must keep from society and from your closest allies. Develop new ways to use your powers!
Clone: The Paranoia, coming soon to your local game store. Serious feelings in an absurd world.
Here are my favorite tabletop RPGs of all time. Choose one based on whatever criterion you want—your favorite, one you want to try, one you've never heard of, etc.
AD&D 1e
D&D 5e
Paranoia
Champions
Toon
Vampire: The Masquerade
Ultraviolet Grasslands
MERP
GURPS
Call of Cthulhu
Judge Dredd the RPG
Teenagers From Outer Space
Friend Computer, how should I proceed when I encounter two traitors fighting each other? On one hand, I do wish to fight them and confirm termination, but on the other, should I choose to attack one at a time, I do not wish to curry favor with their foul secret societies, and it is possible they could terminate each other and provide entertainment to us loyal citizens.
That is certainly a difficult situation. I would recommend gathering evidence against them both, possibly record the situation, and submit a report to Internal Security. Fighting them yourself would put you in direct and perhaps unnecessary danger, but if you do manage to confirm termination of both traitors, you would be rewarded greatly.
(GM note: You're screwed. If you don't fight them and go the route of following this advice, IntSec probably won't do anything. If you attack them and only manage to terminate one, you'll be suspicious as being part of the other's secret society. Managing to terminate both (unlikely) would be the best outcome, but your fellow citizens could accuse you of being part of a third secret society.)
Somehow a weapon that will 100% kill you if you ever use it is of course perfectly in-theme for Paranoia
S stands for Success and is what happens if you succeed the roll to use the weapon.
T stands for Treason and is what happens if you fail.
It's a hand-held, throwable nuke. Success or failure is kinda irrelevant.
This Month on the Literal Cat Podcast:
Okay, let me just start by saying that even though it's April 1st, this is the real schedule for the month! No tricks here, just the next two episodes!
Let me ALSO say that our next seasonal theme has been decided! Wild West Winter wins! So we know Deadlands, but we need at least 5 more!
But anyway, onto the episodes!
April 3, we have a guest from the Paranoia: Fight Together or Die a Clone podcast on to help us make a character in Paranoia! (listening to this episode might possibly be treasonous, we're not sure)
And April 17, we look at Magonomia: The Game of Renaissance Wizardry from Shewstone Publishing!
Also don't forget, we're running playtests on a new one-shot TTRPG! follow this link and/or Ask us for more details!
EXAMINE ROOM
Your name is SLAB-R-PTN-3, otherwise known as SLAB BULKHEAD or just SLAB for short. You are a citizen of ALPHA COMPLEX, a massive undergound city run by the kind and benevolent FRIEND COMPUTER. You are employed as a TROUBLESHOOTER, which means you find trouble and shoot it. Previously you were a FITNESS INSTRUCTOR and MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER and technically you still are but it's really only a side thing now.
You are BRAVE, LOYAL, and admittedly DISCOURTEOUS, so troubleshooting is a much higher priority for you now. Your main interests include WORKING OUT and ACTION MOVIES, although their anti-authoritarian stances go completely OVER YOUR HEAD. You are a fan of KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA, a strong red animal creature that you see a lot of yourself in. You are also very proud of your BODY ARMOR, which makes you feel STRONG and POWERFUL, almost as if you were a vessel for the will of FRIEND COMPUTER themselves.
Your CLEARANCE LEVEL is RED, putting you at the lowest rungs of society, but you are proud to serve it regardless. It could always be worse. At least you're not INFRARED. As is standard of your CLEARANCE LEVEL, you live with a roommate, although you rarely speak to him. You're pretty sure he works in DATA ENTRY or possibly PENCIL PUSHING. You also know he enjoys POPULAR MUSIC, which makes sense to you. It wouldn't be pop if it wasn't popular.
What will you do?