It's Not Where You Come From - oneshot from iydlmp verse
Here it is!! (finally, right?) I'm so sorry it took me so long to post this, I've spent the week with my family for the holidays and between that and school, I haven't had time for much writing, but here we are! Thanks so much to the people who were interested in more from this universe, and I'm so excited to hear what you all think!
read on ao3
Words: 14k
Summary: When Levi brings home an unexpected guest, Dan and Phil are faced with the consequences, and have some serious decisions to make.
A oneshot that takes place approximately one month after the completion of the main fic, If You Don't Love Me, Pretend.
Warnings: mild swearing, references to past child abuse/neglect
“Dad?”
Dan hears the call from the doorway of the office, and he pauses what he’s working on to check and see which one of his children need him. “In here,” he calls back.
A few seconds later, Levi appears at the door with a strange look on his face. “Hey,” he says nervously. He’s snapping one of the hair ties on his left wrist with an off-beat rhythm, a nervous tick he’s had the whole time they’ve known him.
“Hi,” Dan replies, glancing pointedly at Levi’s hand. When Levi notices, he stops messing with the hair tie, dropping his hands to his sides awkwardly. “You okay?” Dan asks.
Levi nods. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replies. He starts to say something else, then stops, glancing at Dan like he’s waiting for him to make the first move.
Dan surveys him for a second, tilting his head. “Okay... did you need something, bub?”
“Er... I actually just wanted to see if I could go down to the corner shop,” Levi says, tugging at the hem of his shirt.
Dan leans back in his chair, frowning. “Bit late, innit?” He asks, trying to keep his tone neutral. He hates to be the buzzkill parent, but Phil is working late, and Dan really does worry about the safety of their children, especially since they’re still living in central London. The search for a house is slow going at best, but Dan hopes that one day he won’t have to be this worried about the kids all the time.
“I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit. I won’t be gone long,” Levi says quickly.
“Okay,” Dan says after thinking it over. “But keep your phone on you, and don’t go too far, okay?”
Levi nods quickly. “I’m only going down to Greg’s shop, and I’ll be careful, I promise.”
Dan smiles and nods. “Okay. Don’t forget your coat.”
“Alright,” Levi says, waving a bit as he heads out of the office. “Be back in a bit.”
“Love you!” Dan calls after him. He smiles when he hears Levi laugh, and feels dimples cave his cheeks when he hears Levi repeat the sentiment. Dan listens to the sounds of the front door opening and closing, and the quiet click of the door locking behind Levi. It’s a quiet comfort, knowing that Levi will be careful and won’t be gone long, one that Dan doesn’t take for granted. Ever since they adopted the children and became aquatinted with other parents of teenagers, Dan’s realized that not every parent has it as easy as they do. Most teenagers sound like actual nightmares, to hear others describe it, but Dan’s never felt anything but grateful for the children they ended up with and how well behaved they are.
A thundering down the stairs rips him from that particular reverie, and Dan can’t help but feel that he’s jinxed himself. “Guys! Quit running in the house!”
The stampede halts for just a second, and quiets just a bit before two small children show up in the doorway to the office. “Hi, Daddy,” Amelia says sweetly.
Dan gives her an unamused look. “Hi. Are you two about ready for bed?”
Amelia pouts. “I thought you said we could stay up late since Dad isn’t here,” she whines.
“I did, and you did stay up late,” Dan says patiently. He picks up his phone, showing them the time. “See? You’ve been up for an hour past bedtime. So I think it’s time to brush our teeth and get into our pajamas, yeah?”
The twins whine and complain the whole time, but Dan manages to get them in their pajamas, helping Amelia brush her hair while Jaiden brushes his teeth. When Amelia goes to brush her teeth, Dan turns their nightlights on and helps Jaiden crawl under the covers. “Do you wanna pick out a story for tonight?” Dan asks, searching through the assortment of plushies at the end of his bed until he finds the current favorite, a rabbit plushy that has creepy button eyes.
Jaiden yawns, nodding. “Can you tell us the one about aliens?”
Dan smiles, but shakes his head. “You know that one always scares your sister,” he says gently.
He’s not surprised when Jaiden pouts. “Fine. Then can we hear one about cowboys?”
Rolling his eyes, Dan nods. The kids were oddly obsessed with Dan’s horrible attempts at a Wild West American accent, and spent more time laughing at him than they did trying to go to sleep. “Alright, let me go check on your sister and get her tucked in and then I’ll tell a story.”
Jaiden nods as Dan rises from the edge of his bed to leave the room, and Dan smiles to himself when he hears Jaiden talking to his plushy. He almost wishes his children could stay this young forever.
“Mia?” Dan calls as he steps out of their bedroom.
Amelia pokes her head around the corner of the bathroom door, her toothbrush in her mouth. “Yesh?” She says, voice garbled around all the foam and spit in her mouth.
Dan smiles at her. He can’t help it. “Just checking on you. Don’t forget to put your toothbrush back in the cup when you’re done.”
Amelia nods, so Dan leaves her be, making his way back to their room while he constructs a loose idea for tonight’s story. By the time Amelia skips back into the room, still filled with far more energy than Dan thinks is possible, Jaiden is nearly asleep on his shoulder. He tells the story he promised them, but halfway through, Jaiden is asleep and Amelia is whispering for Dan to tell a mermaid story since Jaiden can’t hear anyway.
Eventually, when all the stories and songs are finished and both his children are asleep, Dan heads to his own bedroom, where he’s hoping to find his fiancé back from work.
“Hey,” Phil says with a soft smile when Dan enters the bedroom. He’s sat at the end of the bed, tugging off his socks with one hand and undoing his tie with the other. “I just got in, didn’t want to risk waking the kiddos by popping in their room.”
Dan nods, leaning down to press his lips to Phil’s briefly. It’s been a long day apart, and like the pathetically love-sick fool he is, Dan has missed him. “How’d your meeting go?” Dan asks, swatting Phil’s hand away from his tie to take over undoing it.
“Meh.” Phil huffs a sigh, sitting back to let Dan undress him. Part of Dan wishes that this had the potential to turn sexy, but he knows with how exhausted they both are after a long day, it’s not likely to happen. Still, he allows his fingers to skim lightly down Phil’s neck, smiling when Phil shivers. “Feels good,” he says softly.
“Yeah?” Dan says with a smile.
Phil nods, and his hands come up to gently grip Dan’s hips. “Mhm. C’mere?” It’s a question as much as it is a request, and Dan wishes more than anything that he could indulge in this right now, but he knows he can’t.
“Mm. Maybe later, babe. I need to go check on Levi first. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll bring you some biscuits? I’m assuming you skipped dinner again.” Dan allows his tone to slip into something of a reprimand, and it must work, based on the sheepish look Phil gives him.
“That would be good, yeah,” Phil says, tilting his face up to peck a kiss to Dan’s chin. Before he can pull away, Dan leans closer for a proper one, stroking his fingers through the baby hairs at the base of Phil’s neck. “Mm, missed you.”
Dan kisses him one last time before pulling back with a quiet laugh. “Idiot,” he says fondly. “Go take a shower. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Phil nods and heads off to the bathroom, leaving a trail of discarded clothes in his wake. Dan doesn’t know how much of that is to annoy him and how much of it is just Phil’s general lack of spacial awareness. Like the good little fiancé he is, Dan collects the clothes for him and dumps them in the hamper on his way out of the bedroom to go check on Levi.
He’s humming to himself as he makes his way up the stairs, and he realizes as he gets closer to the room that he didn’t even hear Levi come home earlier. A pit forms in his stomach, growing rapidly in size when he realizes that Levi‘s bedroom light is already off, something they normally have to do for him when he inevitably falls asleep drawing.
By the time he makes it to the door, Dan has worked himself into such a panic that he can hear his blood rushing in his ears, and his hand shakes when he reaches out to turn the doorknob. He pushes the door open slowly, carefully, just in case Levi decided to go to bed early. As his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, he notices two things at once.
One: there are two people in Levi’s room.
Two: the person in the bed is definitely not Levi.
It takes Dan a moment of squinting before he makes out the figure, and when he does he has to force himself not to sigh too loudly in exasperation. Because of course the only time Levi does something without asking, it’s bringing a girl home. Specifically, he brought Charlotte home. Of course.
But, Dan notices upon further inspection, Levi is sleeping on the floor, curled up with a comforter Dan is fairly certain he and Phil had shoved in the hall closet many moons ago. He looks peaceful, like he didn’t just break a very fundamental house rule, and even then, Dan can’t bear the idea of waking him up to reprimand him. Besides, Dan rationalizes to himself, Levi wouldn’t have done this if he didn’t have a good reason. But that good reason would be waiting until morning, when Dan has had the time and coffee he probably needs to process whatever is going on.
With one last look at both of them, ensuring that they’re safe and keen to sleep separately through the night, Dan slowly latches the door shut and tiptoes back downstairs. His mind is racing as he tries to think through what he’s supposed to do in this situation. There were no instructions on this particular scenario in any of the classes or books.
By the time Dan gets back to his room, not forgetting to stop by the kitchen and grab Phil a couple biscuits - which he will be eating before he gets in the bed - he’s decided that the best thing to do is just consult with Phil on this one.
Phil’s just getting out of the shower when Dan enters their room, and he looks up with a squinty smile when he notices Dan’s presence. “Are those mine?” Phil asks with barely-concealed excitement in his voice as he gestures to the snacks in Dan’s hands.
Rolling his eyes, Dan nods and hands them over. “You’d better get those eaten before you climb into this bed, bub. I’m not cleaning your crumbs out again.”
Phil blushes a little but smiles. “Thanks,” he says around a mouthful of biscuit, the crumbs spraying out of his mouth in the most unattractive manner. Dan crinkles his nose. “How’s Levi?” Phil asks, dropping the towel from around his waist carelessly before going to dig through their shared underwear drawer. It’s funny, but Dan honestly can’t remember when seeing Phil naked became normal and not something he couldn’t ignore.
He ignores it, for now.
Dan chews on his lip as he decides how to answer Phil’s question. “Well, about that actually...”
It’s almost funny how fast that makes Phil’s head jerk around to stare at him. “What?” He asks quickly, his voice full of panic, although slightly muffled by the biscuit he had just shoved in his gob.
“Shh, it’s not- I- he’s fine, okay?” Dan calms him quickly. When Phil’s shoulders relax, Dan sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “He brought Charlotte home with him.”
“Without asking?” Phil interrupts to ask.
“Yes.”
Phil looks startled by that information, and then his gaze quickly slips into confusion. “Wait, why was he out in the first place?”
Dan hates to admit that he feels a little chastised by that. “Er, he asked me if he could go down to the corner shop earlier. I didn’t know he was planning on coming back with her.”
Phil presses his lips in a thin line as he tugs on a pair of pants, and Dan can tell he wants to say something, probably about Dan letting Levi leave the house that late at night. Sure enough, when Phil opens his mouth, what comes out is: “Dan, I really don’t think he should be allowed to go somewhere without us that late at night.”
It takes a lot for Dan to resist rolling his eyes. “Babe, he deserves more credit than that.”
“And he also deserves good parents that set boundaries for him to keep him safe,” Phil says, his voice too sharp.
Dan stares at him for a moment. The room is full of a tense silence that wasn’t there before, and Dan knows from past experience that they need to de-escalate this before it gets out of control.
“That was mean, Phil,” Dan says very softly.
Phil runs a hand through his wet hair, and Dan watches it fall limply over his forehead. “I know. I’m sorry, I just...” he sighs as he moves to sit beside Dan on the bed. “I am sorry. I just worry about them,” he says as he reaches for Dan’s hand.
Dan allows his hand to be held, but he doesn’t meet Phil’s gaze. “I know. But he’s sixteen, Phil. We’ve got to let him have some freedom.”
“I know,” Phil says with a nod. “I kind of wish they were still babies. Like at least then we could just keep them home and it wouldn’t be weird. Like, babies don’t need to go to the corner store to secretly meet up with their girlfriend, right?” Phil rambles, playing with Dan’s hand in a very fidgety fashion.
Dan smiles, shaking his head fondly. “She’s not his girlfriend,” he says automatically, defending Levi’s assertion that they aren’t actually dating. Dan feels like there’s always an unspoken yet there. “Also, you just have baby fever. You don’t want all three of our children to be babies. That would be like, actual hell, I reckon.”
Phil huffs, dropping his head onto Dan’s shoulder with a thump. “Shut up. You have baby fever, too.”
“I do,” Dan nods. He sighs at the reminder of all the paperwork they’ve filled out recently with the adoption agency Hazel recommended them. Someday, his brain reminds him. “What should we do about Levi?” He asks quietly.
“I dunno,” Phil replies. “Do you reckon we ought to text Charlotte’s foster parents?”
Dan chews his lip as he considers that. “I don’t know. I think... I think he must have brought her here for a reason, you know? Like, I really don’t see him breaking our rules for no reason.”
Phil lifts his head from Dan’s shoulder to stare at him. “So you think that something happened?”
“Maybe? I don’t know, but I think we should ask them to explain themselves first.”
“Okay,” Phil agrees. “So should we go wake them up now?” He doesn’t sound like he’s a big fan of this idea.
“Probably not,” Dan says, shaking his head. It’s really not something he wants to deal with in the middle of the night. He pulls his hand out of Phil’s grip just long enough to crawl up the bed and fall back against his pillow. He stretches out his arms and makes grabby hands towards his fiancé, like a little kid. “C’mere. I want some cuddles, right this second.”
Phil giggles, but complies, crawling up and tucking his awkward limbs under the duvet, reaching out and tangling himself with Dan’s body until they’re both giggling and settling against each other. They’re too tired to do much, but wet kisses are exchanged and the love Dan feels goes all the way down to his curling toes.
“Love you,” Dan whispers against Phil’s mouth before pecking his lips one last time. Phil, bless him, chases his lips.
“You too,” Phil sighs, already half asleep.
Dan rolls his eyes but tucks himself snuggly against his fiancé, falling asleep to the rhythm of Phil’s loud breathing.
~~~
The next morning, Dan lets Phil sleep in a little bit while he goes to sit and wait for Levi and Charlotte to emerge from Levi’s room. He doesn’t want to barge into his room and be that kind of helicopter parent, especially since Levi doesn’t know that he knows. So instead, he settles into the arm chair in the lounge, turning it to face the hallway where Levi’s room is at. It makes him feel a bit like a Bond villain, but he’s hoping that it doesn’t come off nearly as creepy or unsettling for the kids.
It takes a bit longer than he was expecting, and Dan’s been sat there for nearly an hour when he hears Levi’s bedroom door creak open. He nearly snorts at the idea that Levi is actually trying to be sneaky about this. It’s the most typical teenager thing, and if Dan had any suspicion that Levi brought Charlotte home for some inappropriate reason, he’d probably be pissed right now. As it is, he’s almost impressed by Levi’s commitment to being sneaky. Which he’s pretty successful with, right up until he steps foot into the lounge.
“Good morning, Levi. Hello, Charlotte,” Dan says neutrally as soon as they step into the room.
Levi jumps. “Fu- hi, dad.” He sounds breathless, and his eyes go wide as he subtly shifts to stand sort of in front of Charlotte.
“Why don’t you guys have a seat, so we can chat,” Dan says as kindly as possible. He doesn’t want this to be something that makes Levi scared to tell him things, or Charlotte for that matter. So he’s going to try to handle this as calmly as he can, and hopefully keep either of them from having any sort of breakdown.
Levi deflates a little, but gestures Charlotte towards the sofa, clearly resigned to their fate. Charlotte is wringing her hands as she follows him, and Dan pretends he doesn’t notice the way Levi squeezes her hand gently as they sit down. They sit as close as humanly possible, and something about that reminds Dan distinctly of a younger version of himself and Phil. It makes him smile, despite himself.
“So-“ Dan starts speaking, clearing his throat a little.
Before he can say anything else, Levi is interrupting with a panicked voice. “I’m really sorry, Dad, but she- her foster parents were-“
Dan lifts a hand and shushes him gently. “Slow down, bub. I’m not saying I’m not a little upset with you- because I am.” He pauses to let that settle with them. Levi drops his shoulders and his head, nodding silently. “You broke the rules, and that’s not something you can do just whenever you want.”
“I know that, I just-“ Levi starts again, growing frustrated.
“Levi,” Dan says firmly, lifting a hand. Levi goes silent, and his cheeks flush as he glances awkwardly at Charlotte. Dan softens his tone when he speaks again. “Hon, I know. I know you had a good reason for doing it, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to do something like this without telling me.”
Levi looks upset, but he nods. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
Dan feels an ache in his heart, hating to see one of his children hurting, especially since he feels like it’s his fault. “I know,” he says again. “Now, why don’t you two start by explaining why exactly you thought it was a good idea to have a sleepover without asking?”
He thinks it’s an easy enough question. That is, until Charlotte drops her head, her shoulders shaking as sobs take over her body. Dan is quick to stand and start towards her, his instincts telling him she’s in need of comfort, but before he can, he watches as Levi wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a careful embrace.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmurs to her gently. Dan watches in stunned silence as Charlotte leans into Levi’s space, letting herself be held and comforted while she cries. Levi looks up and makes awkward eye contact with Dan for all of two seconds before he’s looking away again, his cheeks flooded with pink. “You’re okay, Lottie. It’s okay.”
Dan quietly goes to the coffee table to retrieve a box of tissues, handing them gently to Levi before turning to grab a fuzzy blanket off the armchair. “Here,” he says, gently draping it around them.
Charlotte hiccups as Levi tries to calm her down, and Dan feels his chest squeeze painfully. These are two children who have already had so much of life thrown at them, and Dan’s heart aches to think about how heavy the weight on their shoulders is. Charlotte isn’t even his child, and yet he feels so responsible for her, in so many different ways, it’s almost unbearable.
“How about I round up some toast and tea and we’ll chat after breakfast?” Dan suggests gently once Charlotte’s hyperventilating seems to have subsided.
Levi looks to Charlotte before responding. She nods, then bites her lip nervously, looking up at Dan like she has something she wants to say. “I… my foster parents don’t…”
Dan fills in the blanks. “They don’t know where you are?” He guesses with the most gentle inflection that he can.
Charlotte looks ashamed when she says, “I don’t even think they know that I left.”
Dan’s heart breaks a little bit more. No child deserves to live in a place where their absence goes unnoticed. “Alright. Well, we probably need to let them know where you are sooner or later, so they don’t call the authorities. I can speak to them, if you like.”
“Alright,” she mumbles, snapping the bracelet on her wrist. Levi’s hand reaches out to stop her, and Dan has to hide his smile. “Can I just… can I just tell them I’m at a friend’s house? I don’t… I don’t really want them to know where I am.”
Dan hesitates at that. “I… I’m not sure about that, actually. I don’t want you to get in trouble for lying,” he says.
“I’m not lying,” Charlotte says, too quickly. “Levi’s my friend.”
Dan smiles. “I know, hon, but telling them you’re at a friend’s house and leaving out the part about sneaking out in the middle of the night to get here is lying by omission.”
Charlotte starts to argue, then deflates, clearly seeing the logic of it. “Alright, fine.”
“At least text them and let them know where you are for now. After breakfast we’ll talk about it and figure out what we need to do,” Dan says gently. He glances between them, giving them what he hopes is a stern look. “I don’t condone what you guys did, but I know for you to have broken our rules in the first place, you must have had a really good reason.”
He doesn’t give them the chance to argue or deny, instead standing and gesturing for them to follow him downstairs. “C’mon. I fancy some scrambled eggs, and I reckon the twins will be awake soon.”
As he walks down the stairs, he hears Levi and Charlotte mumbling and whispering behind him. He’s polite enough that he pretends he doesn’t actually notice it. When they make it to the kitchen, Dan starts pulling out the pans and things he’ll need, humming lightly to himself to ease some of the tension in the room. Charlotte settles at the table, and Dan glances up with a quirk of his eyebrow when Levi comes to stand beside him, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Yes?” Dan says with a smile.
Levi looks embarrassed but determined, clearing his throat and looking pointedly away from Charlotte. “Did, uh… did you happen to tell Dad about… this?”
Dan almost rolls his eyes. But then he doesn’t, remembering that this child never had a good example of effective communication in a relationship before, especially between his parents. Centering himself with that, Dan replies easily and quietly. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry if you didn’t want him to know, but we don’t keep secrets in this house, remember?”
“Yeah…” Levi agrees, albeit a little sadly. “I just don’t want him to like, freak out.”
Dan smiles, and nudges Levi’s arm gently as he moves past him to grab the eggs from the fridge. “He won’t. It’s honestly better that I got the chance to tell him before he saw for himself, because at least this way he had time to process and adjust.”
Levi nods slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense I guess.” He fidgets nervously for a second before speaking again. “When did you find out? I’m guessing it wasn’t a coincidence you were waiting on us?”
Popping some bread into the toaster, Dan gives Levi a half-sheepish look. “You’d be right. I realized last night when I came up to check on you after I put the twins to bed.”
“Oh,” Levi says. His cheeks flush, and he looks embarrassed. “I… yeah, I don’t really know why I thought I could get away with it in the first place. I should’ve known you’d be in there to check on me.”
Dan smiles as he cracks eggs and gets to work making their breakfast. “That’s what I’m here for, like it or not,” he jokes easily.
Levi snorts but before he has the chance to say anything else, they hear footsteps entering the kitchen. Dan doesn’t feel the panicked urgency he sometimes does when it’s two sets of little feet running towards him, because this time it’s clear it’s just his partner, heavy feet shuffling along the tiled floor behind him.
“Morning, babe,” Dan greets without turning around, digging through the cupboard above the stove for some cooking oil.
Phil yawns in response, and Dan doesn’t even flinch when he feels breath hit the back of his neck, followed shortly by a soft kiss pressed to the back of his head. “Mm,” Phil hums as he comes to stand beside Dan, surveying his work. “Looks good,” he says with a smile, eyeing the toast that’s just popped up from the toaster.
Dan snorts, rolling his eyes. “Go ahead, you toast monster.”
Phil grins as he spins around to dig in the fridge for the marmalade, and Dan watches out of the corner of his eye as Phil glances over at where Levi and Charlotte are sat together at the table, waiting for his reaction. Dan is pretty sure he won’t actually be angry and say anything to that effect, especially since he warned Phil about this last night.
Luckily, he’s right. Phil smiles at them, pointing to the toast. “Good morning, guys. Would either of you like some toast?”
Levi looks so relieved, his shoulders dropping as a weight seems to be lifted. Dan really needs to speak with him and Phil about what needs to happen in their home in order for Levi to stop feeling like he’s always going to get in trouble with Phil when he makes a mistake. But that’s a conversation for another day, he concedes.
“I’m alright,” Levi says. He looks over at Charlotte with a warm gaze. “Do you want any?” He asks her gently.
Phil catches Dan’s eye as they watch this interaction, and they both smile.
“Um… I think I’m okay,” she says slowly, avoiding Phil’s eyes.
Something occurs to Dan then, and he feels like an idiot. “Oh, god, where are my manners? Charlotte, this is Phil, my fiancé. I know you’ve not really had a chance to meet officially yet.”
Phil looks a little surprised, but nods, smiling warmly at Charlotte. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” he says with a sincere voice. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Dan and Levi both, actually.”
Charlotte’s cheeks go a little bit pink then, but she smiled shyly. “All good things, I hope,” she says quietly.
Phil shrugs, grabbing a butter knife out of the drawer and waving it between Levi and Dan. “Oh, you know how they are, always trash talking everyone and their mum.”
Dan’s afraid she might not understand that it’s a joke, having just met Phil, so he’s relieved when Charlotte giggles. “Oh, I’m sure.”
Phil smiles at her then nods to the toast. “What’ll it be? Do you fancy some butter and marmalade? We’ve got some Nutella in the pantry as well, if you’d rather have that.”
Charlotte starts to say something that sounds like another refusal, but Levi speaks up then. “Do we still have any strawberry jam?” He asks.
“I think so…” Phil goes to dig through the fridge and makes a little trumpet noise when he finds it. “We do! So that’s two strawberry jam toasts?”
Levi shrugs, but nods. Charlotte looks a little embarrassed, but Dan doesn’t miss the way Levi gently pats her hand in reassurance.
One thing Dan learned later than he should have about foster kids is that a lot of them have difficulties with eating and eating disorders since their environments can be so unstable. As long as she’s in their house, Dan decides, she’s going to be welcome and encouraged to eat as much of whatever she’d like. If there’s one habit he’s absorbed from the Lesters over the years is that it’s basically a crime against the Queen to send someone out of your home without making sure they’ve got a full belly.
Phil hums to himself as he prepares each of them a slice of toast, refilling the toaster dutifully so that he and Dan can have some as well. Dan’s still not heard a peep from the twins, but he figures that won’t last long with the amount of noise they’re making in the kitchen now.
Sure enough, Phil is offering to make Levi and Charlotte another slice of toast to go with their eggs when they hear the tell-tale sounds of little feet making their way into the kitchen. Dan realizes abruptly that they hadn’t planned on what to say to the twins about Charlotte’s presence, and before he can even come up with something they’re stepping into the room, rubbing their sleepy eyes.
“Well good morning, kiddos,” Phil says with an amused voice. “I was wondering if maybe you guys would be playing hooky today.”
Amelia opens her mouth to retort but seems to realize there’s another person in the room, and her eyes go a little bit wide as she looks at Charlotte. “Hi,” she says, going to stand on the other side of Levi, peeping around at Charlotte curiously. Jaiden, on the other hand, immediately comes over with his arms held out when he realizes there’s a stranger with them, and Phil picks him up with ease.
“Hello,” Charlotte greets Amelia cautiously. She turns to look at Jaiden and waves a little, smiling. Jaiden turns his head, tucking his face against Phil’s neck in embarrassment. He’s still not great with strangers, but they’re working on it.
Dan clears his throat then, turning the hob off on the stove and turning around to look at the kids. “Guys, this is Levi’s friend Charlotte. She’s just visiting with us for a little while today, okay?”
Amelia perks up at that. “Charlotte?” She says brightly.
Charlotte looks startled, but nods slowly. “Yes…”
Dan and Phil share a short look of confusion. Before they even have the chance to put any pieces together, Amelia is scrambling into Levi’s lap and smiling sweetly at Charlotte before saying, “so you’re Levi’s girlfriend?”
The kitchen is dead silent for approximately seven seconds. Then, three voices are chastising Amelia at once, the most embarrassed one of course being Levi, who is shoving her off his lap with a, “shut up, Mia.”
“Hey, be kind, now,” Phil chides gently. “Mia, honey, leave your brother alone, okay? It’s not your business if he’s got a girlfriend, and Charlotte isn’t here for the Spanish Inquisition.”
“Fine. What’s the Spanish End-Question?” Amelia asks, climbing into the seat at the end of the table, closest to Charlotte. Dan’s partially relieved that at least the spotlight is no longer on Charlotte and whatever relationship she has with Levi, but he’s not really feeling a history lesson this early in the day either.
“Inquisition,” Dan repeats, enunciating carefully. “We’ll find a crash course video on it after breakfast, okay? It’s a history thing that someone else would do a better job explaining than me.”
Amelia shrugs, seeming to accept this answer readily enough. “Do you like mermaids?” she asks Charlotte, diving straight in like they’re the best of friends.
Dan glances at Phil, biting his lip to hide a laugh. Phil just rolls his eyes, and Dan can’t help but smile watching how he’s rocking Jaiden gently in his arms, stroking up and down his back with a soft touch. “How about some eggs and toast, little man?” Dan asks, stepping closer and ruffling Jaiden’s hair.
Jaiden yawns, but nods. “Okay,” he agrees. “Can I have apple juice?”
“Sure,” Phil agrees, kissing his head. “Let’s go sit at the table like a big kid and I’ll make you up a plate, yeah?”
Jaiden nods again, reluctant when Phil goes to set him down in his chair. When he comes back, Dan puts him to work, plating up breakfast for each of their kids in no time. While they work, Phil steps close to Dan, lowering his voice to a soft murmur. “So what’s the story?”
Dan sighs. “Haven’t gotten that far yet. She cried a lot when I asked what happened. All I know is that her foster parents don’t know where she is and she thinks they don’t even know she’s gone.”
Phil looks just as hurt by this as Dan felt when he’d heard it the first time. Something about that is validating, somehow. “What?”
Dan nods, handing Phil a slice of toast to be buttered. “Yeah. So we definitely need to sit down and have a talk with them after breakfast.”
“Yeah… sounds like it,” Phil agrees.
There’s laughter at the table then, and the conversation dissolves as they finish getting everyone’s breakfast sorted and handed out to them. Despite the weird start to the day and the change in what Dan was expecting from his Saturday, it’s not a bad morning, and Dan decides to put any of his worries about the conversation they need to have in the back of his mind for now.
~~~
“So, first I think we need to maybe call your case manager, and then call your foster parents and let them know what’s going on.”
Charlotte looks up from where she’d been staring silently at the kitchen table, and Dan’s heart squeezes when he sees the way her eyes are glistening.
After they’d finished breakfast, he and Phil had sent the twins upstairs to watch cartoons while they sat in the kitchen to speak with Levi and Charlotte. It was a lot tougher than Dan had imagined, and he finds himself wishing they could just keep her, that they didn’t have to send her back to whatever had made her run away in the first place. But that wouldn’t make him a responsible parent, and at least this way maybe he can help her find a better solution.
“Fine,” Charlotte says quietly. She slides her phone out of her pocket, her hands shaking as she goes to her contacts. “Can you…?” She asks, holding the phone out to Dan, her thumb hovering over the call button.
“Sure,” he says gently, taking the phone from her. He presses call and holds it up to his ear, dropping his other hand back to the table beside Phil’s, absently stroking the skin on the back of his hand.
“Her name’s Sarah,” Charlotte says, right before the call connects.
“Hello, Charlotte,” the voice answers on the other end of the line. “Everything alright?”
“Hi, Sarah, my name is Daniel Howell,” Dan greets her. “Um, this is probably going to be a strange conversation.”
“Right…” Sarah says slowly. “And where is Charlotte? Is she okay?” She sounds mildly panicked.
“Yes, she’s fine, she’s sitting right here. One sec.” Dan covers up the bottom speaker and leans across to Charlotte. “How about you tell her you’re okay and then tell her you want me to explain what happened?”
Charlotte nods, a little warily. Dan hands the phone back over and Charlotte murmurs a very quiet, “hello.” Phil squeezes Dan’s hand, and Dan squeezes back. They can’t hear the full conversation, but after Charlotte reassures her case worker that she’s fine and safe, she nods for a couple minutes, then says, “okay, yeah. Yep. Here’s Mr. Howell again. Yeah. Bye.”
She holds the phone back out, and Dan takes it with a reassuring smile. “Hi, Sarah,” he says again.
“Hello, Mr. Howell. So, I’m right in assuming you’re the same Mr. Howell who informed social services that Charlotte and her brother were in unfortunate home circumstances?” She says, voice mostly kind.
Dan feels like that’s a weird way to phrase it, but he finds himself agreeing. “Yes, that’s correct. She’s also close friends with my son, Levi.”
Sarah makes a noise of surprise. “Oh, right. She’s told me about him, but I suppose I just never made the connection myself,” she laughs.
Making eye contact with Levi, then Charlotte, Dan finds himself grinning a bit. “Yes, well, actually that seems to be the cause of this particular… experience,” he says, choosing his words carefully. “You see, what happened was…”
~~~
After explaining to Sarah what exactly had happened and how Dan found out about it, the day gets a little busier, and a little more stressful. Sarah talks with Charlotte again, and they give her the space and privacy to do this alone. After that, Sarah decides to call the foster parents and work on arranging a different placement. Dan doesn’t get the full details, but Charlotte has red-rimmed eyes when she brings the phone back to him, and so he knows it can’t be good.
The real surprise of the evening is when Sarah asks Dan if he and Phil would be willing to let Charlotte and her brother stay with them for a couple nights, until they can find a more permanent placement.
“Um…” Dan hesitates, glancing over at Charlotte and Levi, then at Phil with what is probably a panicked expression. “I need to speak with my fiancé about that first, I think.”
“What?” Phil mouths, or whispers, really.
Dan covers the bottom of the phone. “She wants to know if we’ll keep Charlotte and her brother for a couple days. It’s a temporary placement.” Dan doesn’t mean to, but he knows he’s got his begging-eyes, which Phil has told him in the past is very hard to ignore.
“If you can’t, that’s alright,” Sarah is saying on the other end. “We can work something else out, but, well… it’s easiest on the children if they can stay somewhere with some familiarity.”
“Right,” Dan says to her, still giving Phil that pleading look.
It takes a second of what is clearly some heavy internal deliberation, but eventually Phil sighs and nods. “Okay,” he agrees.
Dan reaches out and squeezes his hand tightly. “Thank you,” he mouths. To Sarah, he says, “we’ll do it.”
“Great!” Sarah says with a sound of relief. “I’ll call the foster parents and let them know that I’ll be picking up Henry. If you could just text me your address, and I’ll let you know when we’re on our way.”
“Sure, yeah,” Dan says, nodding even though she can’t see him.
“Perfect. Thank you again for doing this, Mr. Howell. And thank you for calling and explaining the situation.”
“Of course,” Dan replies. After exchanging polite goodbyes, he hangs up the call, sliding the phone back over to Charlotte, who looks almost ill with nervousness.
“So?” She asks, wringing her hands.
Dan glances at Phil, who gestures for him to explain. “Well you heard that she was asking if we would let you and your brother stay here, and we decided yes. So she’ll be calling your foster family and then going by to collect your brother and your things before bringing them here.”
“And how long can we stay?” She asks, sounding hopeful.
Dan gives her an apologetic smile. “Just for a couple days, Charlotte. Until they can find a better placement.”
Charlotte’s shoulders slump, but she nods in reluctant understanding. “Okay,” she agrees quietly.
“What time will they be here?” Phil asks, glancing down at the time on his phone.
“She didn’t really say,” Dan replies. He understands Phil’s concern. Thankfully, it’s a Saturday, and luckily Phil hadn’t been called into work, so Dan knew they had a pretty free schedule today. Hopefully that’ll give them enough time to clean and figure out how to shuffle five kids around.
Phil must be thinking along the same lines, because he turns to Dan with a panicked look in his eyes. “Where are they all going to sleep?”
Before Dan gets the chance to respond, Levi speaks. “Henry and Jaiden can sleep in my room.” When Dan and Phil turn to look at him, he flushes and looks down at what is evidently a very interesting coffee stain on the table. “It’ll look bad if Charlotte sleeps in mine, right?” He says with a sheepish little shrug.
Dan smiles at him. “Thanks, Levi.” He glances at Charlotte and debates whether or not what he wants to say will embarrass them. He decides to risk it. “It’s not because we don’t trust you, by the way. It just probably wouldn’t reflect too well on us as parents if we let two teens share a bedroom.”
Charlotte looks mildly ashamed, but mostly embarrassed. “We didn’t sleep together last night,” she blurts. Then her face immediately flushes an even darker crimson, and she stumbles over her words as she rushes to correct herself. “I mean, like- we didn’t share a bed. Or like, the other thing- the- yeah. We didn’t… um…”
Dan’s not sure if she or Phil is more mortified by the conversation, honestly. “I know,” Dan says gently. “Like I said, we trust you two, but to keep our reputation… it’s best if we figure out other sleeping arrangements.”
“Right,” Charlotte says shortly. She clears her throat, avoiding eye contact with them. Dan empathizes with that; he’d felt the same when his mum had tried to have a sex talk with him as a teenager - nearly two years after he’d already lost his virginity. He can’t imagine how much more mortifying it is for Charlotte to be having this conversation with someone who isn’t her parent.
“Would you be okay sharing a room with Amelia?” Phil asks Charlotte, switching topics. The tension and awkwardness in the room settles a little bit then, much to everyone’s relief, Dan’s sure.
“That’s fine with me,” Charlotte agrees with a nod.
Dan’s about to say something about changing the sheets on Jaiden’s bed, but he’s interrupted by a happy cheer from just outside the kitchen, followed by a shushing noise. He sighs as he makes eye contact with Phil. “Our children are incredibly nosy,” he says with a roll of his eyes.
Phil makes a noise of agreement before clearing his throat and leaning back to peek over at where the twins are clearly lurking outside the kitchen. “Mia, Jai, what did we ask you two to do?”
Amelia slowly steps into the entrance of the kitchen, a sheepish look on her face. “Uh… I can’t remember?” She says, like it’s a question.
Dan snorts.
Phil has to stifle a noise of amusement himself, but he tries to give her a stern look. “We asked if you two would play upstairs while we had a big-kid talk with Levi and Charlotte. Remember that?” He says it kindly, but Amelia still flushes like she’s been reprimanded.
“I guess,” she mumbles.
Phil rolls his eyes but pushes his chair back and holds his arms out for her to come sit with him. Predictably, Amelia all but throws herself at him and Dan rolls his eyes dramatically. He catches Charlotte smiling a little at the scene and he catches her eye, shaking his head as he gestures to Phil and Amelia. “She’s basically Phil’s shadow, I swear.”
“She is not,” Phil says at the same time as Amelia says, “I am not!”
It’s so hilarious that the whole room waits approximately half a second before bursting into a fit of barely-contained giggles. Dan realizes through the laughter that Jaiden must still be hovering in the hall, so he calls out to him. “Jaiden, hon? You can come in. You don’t have to stand outside.”
When Jaiden peeks around, his eyes are big and he’s wringing his little hands. “Are we in trouble for ease-dropping?” He asks, his tongue tripping over the unfamiliar word.
Dan gives him a warm smile. “No, bubba, you’re not in trouble for eavesdropping. C’mere.”
If Amelia is Phil’s shadow, Jaiden is definitely Dan’s. He shuffles over, still shy about their guest, and climbs into Dan’s lap, hiding his face in Dan’s neck. Dan doesn’t mind this at all, wrapping his arms around his son and rubbing a hand up and down his back. “I don’t know how long you two were listening, but we’ve got some news.”
Amelia perks up at that. “Is Lottie going to live with us? Oh! Is she going to be our new sister?”
Levi nearly chokes at this, shaking his head when Amelia turns to give him a weird look. “No,” he says firmly. “She’s not our sister.” His face is tomato-red.
Dan bites back a laugh, and a shared glance with Phil tells him his fiancé is struggling to do the same. “No, Mia,” Dan says. He has to clear his throat to clear away the almost-laugh, and then he takes a minute to patiently explain the situation to her. “Charlotte and her little brother Henry will just be staying with us for a couple days, okay?”
“Like a sleepover?” Amelia asks, her eyes huge and excited.
Dan allows himself to laugh at that. “Yeah, hon, kind of like a sleepover.”
Amelia turns to Charlotte, practically vibrating with excitement. “Can we do sleepover stuff? Will you teach me makeup? Or braid my hair? Or-“
“Honey,” Phil says gently, stroking Amelia’s wayward hair out of her face. “Slow down a little. Charlotte has had a busy day already, let’s not overwhelm her more, yeah?”
She doesn’t look thrilled about it, but Amelia sighs and nods, slouching back against Phil’s chest. After a beat of quiet, Charlotte says quietly, “I could teach you how to braid your hair, if you want.” It’s tentative, and she glances up at Dan like she needs his permission, but he just nods and smiles.
“Really?” Amelia says, perking up again.
Charlotte nods, a little smile on her face. “Sure.”
Amelia nearly bursts with excitement, barreling on another ramble about what else they could do, and Dan decides to just let it go. It hurts in his chest, vaguely, the idea that Amelia doesn’t have that female role model in her life anymore, but he finds comfort in the fact that he and Phil love their little family as much as they can, and he hopes that’s enough to make up for the many empty spaces in their lives.
“Hey bub,” Dan says to Jaiden. He doesn’t miss the way Phil turns at the endearment, a smile quirking at Dan’s lips before he addresses his son again. “If it’s okay, we’re going to let you and Charlotte’s little brother sleep in Levi’s room with him, okay?”
Jaiden nods slowly. “Can we do sleepover stuff too?” He asks sweetly.
“Sure,” Dan says with an easy shrug. “What kind of stuff would you like to do?”
Jaiden seems to think about it for a minute, and eventually he says, “I think play video games. And eat popcorn, maybe.”
Dan grins, cutting his eyes over to Phil in what he hopes is a very subtle move. “I reckon we can swing that.”
Jaiden turns to ask Levi his thoughts on those plans, and Dan sits back to take a minute to bask in the feeling of a Saturday morning surrounded by his family. They don’t get them often enough, with Phil getting called into work so often or other things popping up and filling up their Saturdays with activities. It’s sort of nice to have a change of pace.
Still, there’s work to be done yet. Dan lets the kids talk for a little while more, then finally announces that they need to do some cleaning and rearranging for their guests. Charlotte, bless her, jumps at the opportunity to help, but before he can think of something she can do, Amelia is jumping up and pulling Charlotte down the hall to meet her stuffed animals. Levi gawps after them like he can’t believe his sister just stole his girlfr- friend, and Dan can’t help but laugh as he stands, hitching Jaiden up onto his hip.
“C’mon, lads, let’s go see if we can make some space in Levi’s room for an air mattress.”
~~~
A couple hours later, after successfully setting up an air mattress in Levi’s room, changing the sheets on Jaiden’s bed, and some other general housekeeping, Dan can finally let himself relax. Well, sort of, because just when he saunters into the kitchen to decide what they’ll be having for lunch, he hears the chime from the intercom signaling that someone is downstairs waiting to be let into their building.
“I’ve got it,” Phil calls from down the hall, where he’s definitely closest to the panel. Still, Dan makes his way toward the front door, swiping his hands on his jeans anxiously. “Howell residence,” Phil greets pleasantly after pressing the button for the speaker.
Dan tries to ignore the way his heart flutters when he hears Phil say his name like that. That’s still a discussion they circle back to sometimes, when they’re lying in bed, fingers intertwined as they whisper about all the ideas they have for their future, including their wedding. They’ve not really come to any set agreement on changing their names or if they’ll be doing it at all, but Dan still likes to hear it when Phil refers to their family as if they all share the same surname. Dan thinks back to almost a month ago now, when they were filing to adopt the kids and had the opportunity to change their surname. In the end, they decided to leave that choice up to the children, and since then they haven’t had a really good chance to bring the conversation up again. With these talks of a wedding coming more often and the ideas becoming more concrete though, Dan suspects it won’t be long before they decide to revisit that conversation with the kids.
He has to force himself out of that train of thought when he realizes that a voice on the other side of the speaker is speaking to Phil. “Hello! This is Sarah, Charlotte’s caseworker. Am I speaking with Daniel?”
Phil twists his fingers into the pockets of his jeans in that awkward way he has when he feels nervous, but Dan is oddly proud of him of taking over this little task. It doesn’t seem like much, but it’s a huge step for his social anxiety. “This is actually his fiancé, Phil, but he’s just down the hall. Here, let me buzz you in, and we’ll be the second door to the left when you make it off the elevator on the top floor.”
Sarah thanks him with a cheerful voice, and Phil presses the buzzer before stepping back and looking at Dan with wide eyes. “This feels a little like deja vu,” he says with a nervous laugh.
Dan smiles at him, coming closer and wrapping an arm around Phil’s waist, pressing a quick kiss to Phil’s jaw. “It does, a bit,” he agrees. “But only for a few days, yeah?”
Phil chews on his lip then, like he’s thinking something but isn’t sure how to say it. Before he can get the chance, however, they hear a knock at the front door. Dan squeezes his hip in what he hopes is a reassuring fashion before stepping away from him with a little grin. “Here we go again,” he says before opening the door.
~~~
Sarah doesn’t stay very long. She has medium sized bin bags with her, likely stuffed with Charlotte and Henry’s belongings, and Dan immediately makes a mental note to make a quick trip to the shops to find an alternative. No child should have their whole life packed into a garbage bag like that.
Charlotte seems happy to see her brother, and stays quiet and respectful when Sarah lectures her about essentially running away from home. Dan tries not to let that conversation bother him, as it doesn’t really concern him. They’d agreed to take them in for a couple days, but that didn’t give Dan the right to argue with the caseworker about whether it was right for Charlotte to escape a situation that was no longer safe for her. It’s hard to remember that it’s not his place when Charlotte’s shoulders sag and her frown deepens, but Phil keeps a firm grip on his hand, tethering him to reality.
Luckily, the atmosphere lightens when Sarah leaves. Dan thinks she seems nice enough, but the children are definitely more at ease as soon as the door has closed firmly behind her. Feeling a little lost but responsible, Dan turns to look at the children, who are all looking back at him and Phil expectantly. Straightening his back, Dan puts on his best friendly smile, clapping his hands together softly, so as not to startle their newest guest. “How about some lunch?”
There is a seemingly unanimous agreement then, and Dan grins when even Henry nods along, although the child definitely looks nervous in the new environment, clinging to his sister’s hand like a lifeline. They look a lot alike, Dan thinks to himself vaguely as he leads them into the kitchen and starts scrounging around for sandwich ingredients. They’ve both got light hair and blue-ish eyes and their noses are almost identical. Dan had only seen a flash of Henry last year when he’d called social services for them, but the child had definitely grown up a lot since then.
“So, how old are you, Henry?” Phil asks in a cheerful, upbeat voice as he moves around Dan, helping pull out plates and cups from the cupboard.
“Eight,” Henry mumbles quietly. Dan glances over and finds him tucked close to Charlotte at the table, as close as he can be without sitting properly in her lap. Dan can’t help but smile at that. It reminds him of his own kids, and Levi’s first few days with them. It’s odd how that already feels like a lifetime ago.
“Wow!” Phil says, affecting his voice that way he does when speaking to children, especially ones who aren’t their own. “So you must be in… year 3?”
Henry shakes his head, holding up his hand to show four fingers. “Year 4,” he says proudly. Dan can see him start to come out of his shell a bit, and it thrills him to see it happening so early.
“I’m only in year 2,” Jaiden says from across the table. He sounds a little petulant, and the sound of his voice surprises Dan a little bit. Jaiden was the shy one around strangers, so it really wasn’t like him to open up like that to just anyone.
Henry looks at him with a timid smile. “I liked year 2,” he says helpfully. “Year 4 is hard.”
Jaiden’s little eyebrows furrow, and Dan goes back to just listening as he prepares sandwiches, content to be an audience for whatever conversation they’re having, which is surprisingly easier to focus on than whatever conversation Levi, Charlotte, and Amelia are having. “Do you still get to play outside?” Jaiden asks, sounding worried.
“Yeah!” Henry answers easily. “My friends and I, we play Pokémon together or sometimes we play Mission Impossible.”
Dan knows that he’s basically hit the jackpot with Jaiden then, and when Phil hands him a plate, they make eye contact and he knows Phil is thinking the same thing.
“What kind of game is that?” Jaiden asks.
“It’s like a spy game, where someone has to be the bad guy and then the others get to be spies or the bad guy’s sidekicks,” Henry explains.
Jaiden sounds awe-struck when he replies. “Wow,” he says, and Dan can just imagine how big his eyes must be right about now. “That sounds so fun.”
“We could play later,” Henry offers. “If you want to,” he tacks on, sounding suddenly a little shy.
“I’ll have to ask my dads,” Jaiden says quietly, like a stage whisper but not very good. Henry makes an understanding noise and then they get off into a conversation about Pokémon, and Dan slowly drifts out of paying attention.
“Sounds like they’re getting along okay,” Phil says quietly to him while he’s slicing up carrots the way Amelia likes.
Dan nods, stacking a slice of turkey on the sandwich he’s currently crafting. “I think we did a good thing, agreeing to have them stay here for a couple days,” he says. “Little bit strange to be fostering again, though.”
“Yeah,” Phil agrees. He clears his throat, then. “About that, actually…”
Again, Phil’s interrupted before he can finish that thought. “Daddy, can me and Charlotte use some of your makeup to practice with?” Amelia asks loudly.
“Uh,” Dan replies lamely. “Exactly what will you be practicing?” He asks, turning to glance at them.
Charlotte looks a little embarrassed, like maybe she hadn’t wanted to ask him. “She wants me to try and do some eye shadow and stuff, but I don’t… I don’t have any of my own anymore,” she says quietly, like this, too, embarrasses her.
Dan nods slowly. “Yeah, sure. I’ll dig some of my stuff out after dinner, okay?”
Amelia chirps her agreement, and Charlotte just nods. Dan assumes that’ll be the end of it and goes to continue making the sandwiches when he hears a quiet exchange between Henry and Jaiden.
“Your dad wears makeup?” Henry asks, his voice a little louder than a whisper.
Dan doesn’t have to strain to hear Jaiden’s reply, which comes with no shame. “Yeah. Well, one of them does. Dad says daddy looks better with it, but he doesn’t like to wear it himself.”
There’s a beat of silence like that really will be the end of it, and then Dan hears: “Isn’t that… a little bit gay?”
Dan freezes. It’s one of those “old habits die hard” reactions to something that really and truly doesn’t surprise him, but coming from such a young child, and in his own home, he can’t help but feel caught off guard by the question. Phil must be too, if his stiffening and sudden turn to face the table is any indication. Dan grabs him by the wrist, and they wait when Jaiden starts to speak.
It’s somehow the funniest, and most slightly embarrassing thing he could say. “Well, duh. They’re gay. They gotta wear it cause they’re gay.”
Dan tries not to strangle himself on a laugh, but it’s tough. He manages, but barely. He makes a mental note to have a private conversation with Jaiden about gender roles later, then clears his throat, turning to the table with plates in hand. “Lunch is ready,” he announces.
Luckily, no one else shares anymore questionable thoughts or opinions on Dan or Phil’s sexuality, and lunch proceeds as planned.
~~~
Hours later, Dan finds himself feeling warm and cozy in the lounge, surrounded by his little family and their guests. They’ve turned on the Nintendo switch for the younger kids to play, and it’s sweet to watch Amelia and Jaiden vie for Henry’s attention. Having a new friend is definitely keeping their energy up, but the distraction of a video game kept them from getting too out of control. Phil is all but crushed under Dan’s legs, as he’s sprawled out all over him to share their warmth. If Phil minds, he doesn’t indicate it, his hands stroking over Dan’s thighs absentmindedly as he talks about their tentative plans for Phil’s birthday.
“I think we should just invite Mum and Dad to come visit here for a couple days, what do you think?” Phil is asking, tracing shapes on the outside of Dan’s thigh. Dan’s too relaxed and cozy to make himself think about what they are.
“Sure,” he says, amenable enough to the simple request. “We really need to find a house soon, though. I feel awful inviting Mum and Dad and not being able to host them in our own home.”
Phil’s eyes twinkle in that way they always do when he’s reminded of the entwined lives that they share. It may also be Dan’s casual use of the monikers for Phil’s own parents, who Dan has sort of always secretly thought of as a second family. “Soon,” Phil says, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Dan’s forehead.
“Dad?” They hear Levi say, interrupting their gross, gooey-eyed little moment. Dan can tell by the inflection in Levi’s voice that he’s talking to Phil, not him.
“Yeah?” Phil says, smiling over at him. He and Charlotte are sat on the other sofa together, not nearly as close or intertwined as Dan and Phil are, but still close enough that it screams shared affection.
Levi looks nervous, but determined. “Can Charlotte and I go watch a film in my room? We’ll keep the door open, I promise.” He says it quickly, like he’s in a big rush to get it all out.
Phil glances at Dan, and they exchange a brief, silent conversation before Phil shrugs and turns back to Levi with a nod. “Yeah, that’s fine, bubba. And I appreciate you leaving your door open.”
“Not that we don’t trust you,” Dan says quickly, reminding them of this fact yet again, in case they’ve somehow managed to forget since the last time he told them.
Levi rolls his eyes good-naturedly as he stands, offering Charlotte a hand. He lets go as soon as she’s standing and he notices Dan’s gaze on them, but Dan catches the cuteness of it anyway. “Right, well… we’re gonna go…” he gestures vaguely and awkwardly. “Watch a film.”
Dan nods, stifling a laugh. “Alright,” he says. “Take some snacks too, if you like.” Phil and Levi both give him a surprised look, and Dan huffs. “I am fun sometimes, you know.”
Phil pets his hair in a consoling fashion, but Dan doesn’t miss the grin he shoots Levi. “Of course, babe,” he says plaintively.
Dan continues to whine about his status as a fun parent as Levi and Charlotte make their way out of the room, and Dan doesn’t even feel slightly nervous about giving them some time to hang out by themselves. He trusts Levi not to betray their trust, and he can’t imagine Charlotte doing anything that Levi wouldn’t. With that reassuring thought in mind, Dan allows his attention to be taken up with other things, like mediating a dispute between the younger kids and helping Phil research decent hotels in the area that they could recommend to Phil’s parents.
All in all, it’s a cozy afternoon.
And later, after dinner has been had and a film has been watched with everyone in the lounge, Dan finds himself at a bedtime with a very different set of circumstances than he’s grown used to over the past few months.
“You tuck in the boys first while I do the girls, then switch?” Phil suggests, stretching. They’ve already sent the kids to get ready for bed, now comes the hard part of getting them to actually go to sleep.
“I think we should do it together. Kind of like our first time with our kids?” Dan says, eyeing the pale strip of skin that’s revealed when Phil lifts his arms up over his head to pop out the kinks in his bones.
“Sure,” Phil agrees with an easy smile. His arms drop, concealing his skin from Dan once more, but not before Dan can squeeze his bare hip gently. Phil just smiles that lovely, settled smile, and holds a hand out for Dan. “C’mon, baby. To bed, to bed.”
“Today has felt, like, twenty-seven years long,” Dan says as they head to Levi’s room, where they can hear the boys still settling. “In a good way, mostly,” he tacks on quickly, not wanting to sound ungrateful for the opportunity to do something good.
“It’s definitely been interesting,” Phil replies with a hum. There’s a beat of silence then, and right before they step into Levi’s room, Phil says, “I really miss fostering, after today.”
Dan doesn’t have any time to react to that before Jaiden spots them hovering at the door. “Dad!” He greets cheerfully.
“Hey, buddy,” Phil says, shifting smoothly back into his role as a father, as if he’d never said anything to begin with.
Dan needs a minute to process it. He’s not unfamiliar with the feeling of missing the fostering period of their life, checking their phone at every ring, just in case it happened to be a placement. They lucked out with their first placement being a forever home situation, and after going through the adoption process, they’d pretty much retired from fostering.
Until now, at least.
“Daddy, are you okay?” Jaiden asks sweetly, interrupting Dan’s train of thought entirely.
Dan turns to look at him with a big smile. “Yeah, bub, I’m fine. Let’s get ourselves situated for bed, shall we?”
Jaiden nods, carrying a stuffed animal under each arm as he steps over to where Henry is sat on the edge of the air mattress. “I brought you a dinosaur too,” Jaiden says to him, holding one out a little shyly. “This one is called Kevin. He’s my favorite, but you can cuddle with him, if you want.”
Henry glances up at Jaiden with big eyes, clearly caught off-guard by the gesture. “Really?”
“Mhm,” Jaiden nods, sitting down beside him and clutching the other plushy to his chest.
“Thanks,” Henry says, leaning over and hugging Jaiden, Kevin the dinosaur getting a little squished between them. When Henry pulls away, he studies the dinosaur plushy, petting over the soft fur on its head. Jaiden’s face is a little pink.
“I offered Henry my bed, but he said he would just share the air mattress with Jai,” Dan hears Levi say to Phil.
Phil nods, his lips quirking up in a little smile when he glances at the two younger boys. “That’s fine. Probably feels more like a sleepover to them, anyway.”
Levi grins, nodding. “I’ll try not to let them stay up too late,” he says.
“Don’t worry about that, unless they’re keeping you up. They’ve had a busy day, I’m sure they’ll conk out before you know it,” Phil says.
Levi shrugs. “We’ll find out, I guess.”
“If they’re being too rowdy, just text one of us and we’ll come and try to get them to settle down.”
Nodding, Levi climbs into his own bed, grabbing his sketch pad and pencils from his bedside table as he goes. Dan smiles at that, proud once more that they got Levi something he really liked and got a lot of use out of. He turns to the boys, who are trying to arrange themselves comfortably on the air mattress, which keeps dipping in the middle with their shared weight, making them roll towards each other. They’re giggling, scooting to the furthest edge and then seeing how long it takes for them to roll into the middle, and Dan almost doesn’t have the heart to get them to stop.
“Alright, guys, let’s settle down. It’s getting late, and we’ve had a busy day,” Phil says, grabbing the blankets they’d brought upstairs earlier and shaking them out of their folds to cover the children.
“Can we watch a movie?” Jaiden asks, glancing from Phil to Levi.
Levi rolls his eyes, but nods, tossing his TV remote over to Jaiden. “Just turn the volume down, okay?”
“Got it,” Jaiden says, rolling over to stare at the television as he tries to make a choice. “Wanna watch Voltron?” Jaiden asks Henry, who is pressed right along his side, his chin resting on the borrowed dinosaur plushy.
“Sure,” Henry says. He startles a little when Phil covers him with a blanket, but smiles up at him when he realizes what it is. “Thank you,” he says politely.
“No problem,” Phil says kindly. He does the same with Jaiden, tucking him in before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his hair. “Love you, bubba. Goodnight.”
“Night, love you,” Jaiden says, barely sparing him a look, as he’s just started Voltron.
Phil rolls his eyes, reaching over and ruffling Henry’s hair. “Goodnight, Henry. We’re glad to have you with us.”
Henry looks surprised by this, but nods, smiling down at his hands bashfully. Phil goes over to Levi, ruffling his hair and dropping a kiss to the top of his head as well. “Goodnight, I love you,” Phil says.
Levi smiles at whatever he’s drawing. “Night, Dad. Love you guys.”
Phil’s got a cute little smile when he turns around and makes his way back over to Dan, who is still leaning against the doorway. “Goodnight, guys. Try not to stay up half the night, alright?”
There’s a murmur of agreement, and Phil squeezes Dan’s hip when he gets near enough. “Night, kids. See you all in the morning,” Phil says, pulling the door almost closed behind them. He turns to Dan, his eyebrow quirked. “You feeling alright?” He asks as he leads the way down the stairs.
“I’m fine. Just tired, I guess,” Dan says mildly. My head’s reeling because you seem to really miss fostering and now I’m having to cope with the fact that I do too, Dan thinks, but doesn’t dare say.
Phil reaches back and finds Dan’s hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing. “We’ll go to bed as soon as we tuck in the girls,” he promises.
Dan squeezes Phil’s hand, hoping that it conveys how grateful he is for him.
There’s quiet chatter coming from Amelia’s room when they get to the door, and when Dan nudges the door open, his breath catches in his throat. Charlotte is sat on Amelia’s bed, Amelia sat in front of her while Charlotte braids her hair. Amelia is chattering about the dance class she and her friend Darcy have started taking, and Charlotte is nodding and “Mhm-ing” as she listens. Dan never expected a scene like this to be one that would stop him in his tracks so suddenly, but it does.
“Oh,” Phil whispers behind Dan, his voice sounding fond and surprised.
Dan likes to think that he’s enough for his children, and generally he can ignore any pesky anxiety thoughts that try to tell him otherwise, but it’s hard to ignore them completely when a scene like this is staring him in the face. It makes him feel inadequate, somehow, like being a man means he can’t possibly be enough for his daughter. He knows, rationally, that that’s ridiculous, but he can’t help that he feels it anyway.
“And Daddy said I could go with Miss Louise and Darcy to buy some ballet slippers, cause he didn’t take ballet,” Amelia is saying. “He just did theatre, and I don’t think they know how to do ballet.”
That makes Dan laugh a little bit, and he realizes his mistake when two sets of eyes flicker up to meet his in surprise.
“Daddy,” Amelia whines. “Stop being nosy!”
Dan nudges the door open and smiles sheepishly at her. “Sorry, love. I wasn’t trying to be nosy,” he says, coming into the room and sitting at the foot of her bed.
Amelia rolls her eyes, but points excitedly at her head. “Lottie is doing braids for me,” she says.
“I see that,” Dan says with a smile. “They look really good, Charlotte.”
Charlotte smiles at him. “Thanks. I always wished I had a little sister to practice doing plaits on, and Henry would never let me practice on his hair when it was long.” Her and Dan share a smile at that, but are soon interrupted by a curious little voice.
“Does Henry have a girlfriend?” Amelia asks casually, playing with the ears of her stuffed elephant.
“Woah, Mia,” Phil says from beside Dan, crossing his arms. “You’re a little young for a boyfriend,” he says, his lips quirking to hide a smile.
Amelia blushes, and a litany of excuses and protests follow as she tries to save herself. Charlotte just smirks, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder to get her to calm down enough that Charlotte can finish her braid.
“I’m just kidding, Mia,” Phil says, shaking his head. “Well,” he seems to consider it. “Mostly.”
Amelia immediately whines about how unfair it is that Levi gets to have a girlfriend but she can’t have a boyfriend, and it takes everything in Dan not to remind her that technically Levi has never said that Charlotte is his girlfriend. Before he gets the chance to say it, though, Charlotte is speaking.
“Henry doesn’t have a girlfriend,” she says easily. “Or at least if he does, I don’t know about it.”
“You can date when you’re older,” Dan says, rolling his eyes at the hopeful look in Amelia’s eyes. “I don’t even know where you got all these ideas about dating, anyway. You’re six.”
Amelia pouts. “I’m almost seven,” she tells him proudly.
“Yeah, in April,” he replies. “Fine, we’ll talk about it when you turn seven.”
She starts to grin, but Phil cuts that short, saying, “seven is still a little young to have a boyfriend.”
Dan tries not to smirk at the way Amelia’s face falls. It’s funny, in a weird way, this new interest of hers, which is seemingly coming out of left field. But, he supposes, it had to come about eventually.
“Either way,” Dan says a little louder, trying to get ahead of any argument that may start. “We’ll talk about it then. But now it’s bedtime, girls.”
“Okay,” Amelia says, her voice sad.
Charlotte tugs a hair tie off her wrist and fixes it to the end of the braid before patting Amelia’s back, announcing, “all done!”
Amelia beams as she turns to thank Charlotte, hugging her tightly. “Thank you for braiding my hair, I love it a lot,” she says.
“You’re welcome, Mia,” Charlotte says with a little laugh as she hugs her back.
Dan allows Amelia to finish, then gestures to her plushies. “Alright, sweetheart, time for bed. Let’s pick out a plushy, yeah?”
Amelia nods reluctantly, and while she peruses the selection, comparing them each to the elephant in her hands, Charlotte goes to climb into the other bed.
“You okay, Charlotte?” Phil asks her quietly.
“Mhm, I’m good,” she replies. She situates herself under the sheets, and Phil goes over to help her tug up the quilt and comforter. “Thanks,” she says.
“Sure,” Phil replies. “Do you need anything before we go to bed?”
“I don’t think so,” she says with a shrug. “Was Henry alright?”
“He was fine,” Dan nods to her.
Phil nods along. “Yeah, him and Jaiden were sharing the air mattress and watching a movie.”
“No fair,” Amelia whines from where she’s scooting under her cover. “I wanna watch a movie.”
“Well, bug, you and Jaiden don’t have a telly in here. Plus, we just watched a movie before bed,” Dan tells her, tucking her in and smoothing the blanket over her.
“I guess,” she says, immediately followed by a yawn. The poor child was so tired, but didn’t even realize it till she was all tucked into bed and ready for sleep.
“Goodnight, Mia,” Dan says, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Daddy,” she murmurs, her eyes already fluttering closed. Dan gestures Phil over so he can get a goodnight hug or kiss in, and they swap places so Dan can bid Charlotte a good night as well.
Charlotte is studying them, and it oddly reminds Dan of Levi’s first couple of days, when their every interaction with the kids made him suspicious or confused. Dan says a silent prayer that Charlotte and her brother get to go to a place where they don’t have to feel that way about being given affection.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything? Water? Another blanket?” Dan asks, offering whatever he can think of.
Charlotte just smiles at him. “I’m alright,” she says. She nods to Amelia then, who is explaining to Phil that if she just cuddles with her elephant plushy, then her lion plushy will be jealous. “You guys are really good dads,” she tells him.
Dan can’t help but beam at the compliment. “Thanks. We love being parents.” It sounds kind of silly and obvious when he says it, but he realizes that a lot of parents don’t feel that way, probably including hers.
“It shows,” Charlotte says easily.
Dan smiles at her and gestures to the dresser between the beds, where he’s stacked some extra blankets. “There’s plenty of extra blankets in case you get cold, and feel free to hunt for a late-night snack in the kitchen if you get hungry. And just let us know if Amelia is keeping you awake or if you need anything at all, okay?”
She nods. “Alright, I will.”
“Goodnight, Charlotte. Sweet dreams,” Dan says, heading to the door.
“Goodnight. And, uh…” At her hesitation, Dan turns to look at her, quirking an eyebrow. She flushes, but manages to meet his eyes. “Thank you. For letting me and Henry stay here,” she says.
Dan feels his heart twist. “Of course,” he replies gently. “We’re happy to have you here.”
She smiles at him, and he returns the gesture before turning to leave. Phil kisses Amelia’s forehead, and then the foreheads of her plushies, per her request.
“Alright, time for sleep, now. Goodnight girls, love you,” Phil says as he inches out the door, flicking the light off as he goes.
Finally, it’s just the two of them, alone. “Bedtime?” Phil says, placing a warm hand at the small of Dan’s back.
“Sure,” Dan nods, allowing himself to be led to bed. His head is still swimming with everything that’s happened over the course of the day, and he puts his pajamas on in a sort of detached state.
“You alright, babe?” Phil asks around a toothbrush when Dan comes into their shared bathroom. Dan realizes then that he’s just been standing there, staring into space.
“Should we keep fostering?” Dan blurts. It’s been bothering him, and he’s always had that pesky habit of internalizing things until they just come out in some sort of explosion.
“Um,” Phil says, his mouth still full of toothpaste.
Dan flaps a hand in a useless gesture. “Sorry, finish doing that. We don’t have to talk about it now.”
Phil spits into the sink, swiping his mouth with the back of his hand carelessly. He’s missed a spot, and Dan has to keep himself from leaning forward to wipe it away. “We can talk about it now,” Phil says, but his hands are shaking as he puts his toothbrush back into their shared cup.
Dan does step closer then, using one hand to rub the spot of toothpaste away while the other clutches Phil’s hip. “We don’t have to,” he says softly. “I’m sorry I just sprung it on you like that, I’ve just been thinking about it, since…”
“Since I mentioned it earlier?” Phil guesses.
Dan nods sheepishly. “You know how I get,” he says lamely.
Phil smiles at him, all fond and warm. “I definitely know how you get,” he says, sliding his arms over Dan’s shoulders. His hands fiddle absently with Dan’s curls, and Dan relaxes. This doesn’t have to be a scary conversation, he tells himself. It really doesn’t.
“I do miss fostering too, you know,” he says, squeezing Phil’s hip.
“Yeah?” Phil prompts gently.
“Yeah,” Dan murmurs. He sighs, leaning his head on Phil’s shoulder. “But we really don’t have the room to do that here, not without disrupting our kids and their safe spaces.”
Phil hums a considering noise then. “So… when we get a house…”
Dan will always be obsessed with hearing Phil talk in ‘when’s instead of ‘if’s. “When we get a house,” he repeats.
A kiss is pressed to Dan’s ear, and he smiles against the worn fabric of Phil’s shirt. “You’d still want to foster then? When we’ve got more space?”
Dan really doesn’t have to think about the answer to that. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”
“I still want a baby,” Phil says, his voice hesitant and cautious. “Like, if it’s just a choice between the two of those, I… I really want to raise a baby with you.”
He sounds so nervous, and Dan really can’t have that, not when they’re talking about their future together. Dan pulls away, tilting his head just enough that he can connect their lips in a long kiss.
“I want both,” he whispers when he finally breaks the kiss.
“Really?” Phil says, a little loud in the non-existent space between them. “You’re sure?”
Dan kisses his jaw. “I’m sure,” he says. “I reckon we can handle that.”
Phil suddenly pulls him into a tight hug. “I love you,” he says, sincerely. “I don’t know if I tell you enough, but I do. You’re my favorite human in the world.”
Laughing through the swell of emotion he feels, Dan turns his head and peppers Phil’s face with kisses. “I love you too, you sap.”
Phil grins unashamedly when he pulls away. “Shut up. You love it. You can’t wait to be married to this sap.”
Oh, Dan’s heart flutters at that. “Yeah, well… your mum,” he says lamely, feeling his cheeks heat up in what is surely the most embarrassing fashion.
“Your mum,” Phil mocks, tugging a curl.
Dan bats his hands away, squirming out of his embrace. “Alright, you menace. Let me brush my teeth. I’d kill for some cuddles and sleep, but my mouth feels like death.”
Phil giggles at that, giving Dan a gentle little pat on his bum before he actually removes himself from Dan’s space. “Fine. Don’t forget to take your medicine.”
Nodding, Dan goes about his nightly routine, the silence of the bathroom giving him time to process everything that’s happened today. It’s been one of those days that feels years long instead of hours, but Dan really can’t complain about the outcome. He wasn’t lying to Phil at all, he has missed fostering, far more than he thought he did. And after that conversation, he’s even more impatient and excited to find a perfect home for them.
But first, sleep. Well, cuddles and sleep. Then, whatever else their weekend has in store for them.
And later, when Charlotte and Henry have found a new placement, Dan’s little family of five can move into the next phase of their lives. Personally, Dan thinks it’ll be the best one yet.
