#parental bryan

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Swan Crossing Family AU]

Bryan: Why is everyone so silent?

Vio: I told them to imagine a world without you, and now they’re all sad.

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Swan Crossing Family AU]

Caliban: That’s bullshit!

Bryan: Now now, Caliban. There’s no need for that kind of language.

Annabelle: Yeah, Caliban, what the fuck.

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Swan Crossing Family AU]

Bryan, sighing: What’s going on here?

Annabelle: Caliban’s trying to steal my sandwich.

Caliban: Well, we both ordered meatball subs, but they only delivered one. It’s mine!

Bryan: Guys, guys, look, just walk to the sub shop and get a second sandwich. It’s a block away.

Annabelle: Walk?

Caliban: Are you insane?

Bryan: Fine, cut the sandwich in half.

Annabelle: And then what? We each eat a 6-inch sub?

Caliban: Two and a half meatballs a piece?

Annabelle: Are we children?

Caliban: What is this, Russia?

Bryan: Okay, that’s it. No one eats the sub.

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Arc 2]

Bryan: Caliban (fatherly)

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Swan Crossing Family AU]

Bryan: Alright, any questions?

Caliban: Why aren’t there uppercase and lower case numbers?

Bryan: What?

Caliban: I WANT TO WRITE LOUD NUMBERS!

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Swan Crossing Family AU]

Cadriel: Dad, Caliban said the B word!

Bryan: Is this true, Caliban?

Caliban: Motherfucker doesn’t start with a B?

[incorrectswancrossing]

Caliban, stubbing his toe: FUCK!

Bryan: Language!

Caliban: Oh no, it appears I’ve hit my toe on the wooden object known as a table. This action hurt, therefore I am expressing my pain through words. These words happened to be profanity, which I do not apologise for.

Bryan:

Caliban: wELL WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

[incorrectswancrossing]

[Swan Crossing Family AU]

Bryan, going through a drive-through: What do you guys want?

Lillith: McDonald’s.

Caliban: Wendy’s.

Amaryllis: Mexican?

Annabelle: Chinese.

Peverell: Death.