Chris Evans of "Captain America" fame to star as My Pillow Guy in Pure Flix biopic
From Movie Web:
"My Pillow: the Story of Mike Lindell" is set to debut on Pure Flix this Easter. Staring as the titular My Pillow Guy is Chris Evans, best known as Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In the director's seat is Mel Gibson, director of "Passion of the Christ" (2004).
Though production is largely under wraps, we do know that the film will chronicle Lindell's famous battle with cocaine addiction, and his spiritual awakening. The latter ocurrs when a destitute young Lindell receives a visit from the Archangel Gabriel (Kennan Thompson), who informs young Michael that his destiny is to create a pillow "soft enough for baby Jesus to lay his haloed head upon." According to this movie, it was in fact the Archangel who inscribed the words "My Pillow" onto Lindell's wall with divine lightning, rather than a cocaine-addled Lindell himself as many a Godless tax-raising liberal has claimed. The film will go on to depict Lindell's political battle to legalize packing-peanuts as pillow stuffing; his forbidden love affair with Donald Trump; and his final standoff with Bolivian police in Buenos Aires.
Millions have already purchased subscriptions to Pure Flix in anticipation of the biopic. And yet, the film is not without its critics. Feminists are accusing the movie of glorifying r*pe-culture, in its depiction of Lindell forcing his pillows on several unwilling customers who initially resist, but relent romantically upon realizing that this is the best pillow they've ever used. Sleep experts meanwhile are pointing out dangerous inaccuracies being pushed in the film, where characters' insomnia and neck pain is cured overnight by pillows stuffed with sawdust, slinkies and live pultry. Even some Christian leaders are taking issue with the film's inaccurate depiction of Biblical scripture (such as Gabriel wearing a feathered pimp hat). Finally, President Trump slammed his own depiction in the movie, calling actress Rebel Wilson "a fat liberal cow" and citing that her makeup is the wrong shade of orange.
Will "My Pillow" be the flop some are anticipating? Or will it make it to the Oscars? Only time will tell.
The nation’s dogs are absolutely loving whatever’s happening that’s allowing their most beloved humans to stay at home all the time. Dogs across the country...
A monopoly story. Greed rules this world with an iron fist. This level of ego has not been seen since the railroad wars of the 19th century. Comcrap is on the decline. They are not able to sell manure to people as in the past. A stagnant beast on its last legs trying to steal the cheese from Ratrace. A pathetic corporation on the verge of dominant control of multiple industries. They just wanted to regain what is rightfully their product. Mountains of ratshit for all to enjoy.
The Fall of Comcrap and Ratrace
part 2
The tale of Fux. An angry network taken for a ride by anyone with golden dreams. Fux seemed to enjoy golden showers from its suitors. In other news, ATIT just won its battle with the Department of Visually Impaired Justice. ATIT poured milk all over the greedy judge. He enjoyed it so much he ruled that ATIT had the right to sodomize customers. ATIT can absorb TWDC without any lubricants to facilitate the merger. The judge added, “This merger should be a shining example of what a monopoly looks like on the world stage, but ATIT convinced me with giant donations their way is the future.”
Comcrap smiled when they heard the news. Time to back up the manure truck. FUX was about to enjoy a heavy, dark rain. Ratrace is in the midst of a shitstorm. Forecasters on GTW news have no clue when this weather pattern will stop. Solo performed badly. They should take felatio lessons from DRUMPF to make customers happy. Next chapter. The pillagers are camping in front of FUX headquarters. Only one will win this round of the BS Wars.
On Monday, a writer under the pseudonym "Hillary Clinton" published a now-viral parody article on Medium, entitled "Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am," hoping to remind voters of HRC’s core beliefs, values and credentials.
But writer shitHRCcantsay didn't expect readers to be merely convinced with their, ahem, rather direct message. They came with the receipts.
