Summary: History had never been wrong about the lengths human beings would go for survival, for pride, for love… Tory Miller never thought she would see it unfold with her own eyes, not after the end of an era, but she could understand. Now, their war was being fought in all fronts. Negan’s was for pride, Rick’s was for survival, both of them were unstoppable forces. And her war? Tory’s war was for love.
Warnings: SLOW BURN, angst, swearing, death, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, child endangerment, general trauma, drama, mentions of infidelity and polygamy, general lack or morals, mentions of nudity, graphic sexual scenes (nsfw), mentions of blood, apocalyptic world. As always, I don’t want to give the story away in the tags, read at your own risk.
Author’s note: I’m back. The hiatus is over (I hope so). Guys, the person who started writing this chapter is not the same person who finished it. The last tow months have taught me a damn lot about myself, my writing and how commitment can drive you to success. I got a job now, but I’m trying to write every day, several chapters are already done and waiting edition. If you’re still here, thank you so very much, I adore you. If you’re new here, welcome on board. We’re opening to the close. Hit me up if you have questions :)
(gif credit goes to @neganuniverse)
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
War
Alexandria, VA
A week and a half…
Carl had seen better days. He didn’t particularly like this one, but a resigned shrug accompanied that thought.
People didn’t get to choose the day of their death.
However, when you knew or had a timeline, there were things you could definitely do to pass the time. So, Carl helped Siddiq hide under the safe zone’s grounds, setting him up until the most imminent danger was over.
The younger Grimes didn’t expect Negan to not retaliate after what they had done to the Sanctuary; a little bit of guilt twisted in his gut thinking about the children and families in the compound, but there was nothing to be done about it now.
After showering and dressing his wound, Carl went to retrieve Judith from their neighbor, thanking the lady for taking care of his little sister and hugging her close to him as he took her home.
Judith was an independent baby. Carl liked to think it was the Grimes’ survival instinct. She was also a cuddly girl, who liked to be hugged and spoiled.
Carl smiled at his sister, wondering how she’d look in a year, in five years…
Tears prickled his eyes and he swallowed them, burying his nose in her hair. Judith smelt clean, like chamomile and baby powder.
A little giggle followed Carl’s inspection of his baby sister.
“Wanna paint something, Jude?”
“Yes!” she squealed happily, squirming to get free of his hold and run to her paints.
Carl cuddled her again before letting her go.
He was starting to feel a bit light-headed.
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
Simon needed an outlet; sure, the trash people had betrayed them and played the game a little too well.
That was a strong enough motive.
Negan had instructed a standard warning, but Simon was tired of Negan’s passive approach on things.
Before Elle, before Rick, before Tory…
Simon would have thought this was a temporary thing, but it seemed to him that Negan was becoming mellow in his old age, tired of fighting and not consolidating his domain.
Negan had respect and fear in his hands, and it was a delicate balance, tethering from the need of the people who believed in him. The problem was as they thrived, the people became more and more restless, tired of the system, tired of the blatant abuse of some over the many.
It was funny how much people tried to systematize things as if they had a form of government, because that wasn’t needed any longer.
With a pleasant smile, the right-hand man of the Saviors’ leader went on his way to terrorize the Hilltop. At the present moment, his best bet was using Negan’s influence until the man lost all of his power.
Once he was in charge, Simon would put things back in place, as they should have always been.
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
“You sure you’ll be okay?” Negan asked, watching Tory as she changed her heels for a comfortable pair of sneakers.
Tory smiled at him.
“You’re taking Simon with you, Dwight as well, Arat and Lucas are staying,” with a little sigh, Tory stood and turned to look at him. “We’ll be fine.”
“We’ll be fine?” the leader of the Saviors smirked, narrowing his eyes as his soulmate approached him and circled him with her arms.
“Vera and me, darling,” She mocked, giving him a look so innocent it almost made her eyes look silver. “We might make it a girl’s night. No alcohol, but maybe some chocolate I sneaked from Amber’s stash.”
“Right,” Negan drawled. “Don’t wait up for me, Gorgeous.”
“I’ll try not to,”
Silence fell between them, and Negan ignored the feeling of Tory’s fingers forming fists around the fabric of his t-shirt.
“Come back, old man.” She ordered.
“I’m a motherfucking cat, Gorgeous. Of course I’ll come back.”
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
Carl wasn’t surprised when the Saviors arrived at the gates of the safe zone. He had known that Negan would want revenge after the whole attack at The Sanctuary.
Negan’s voice permeated the still air around Alexandria.
“You may be wondering why the hell your lookout didn’t sound the alarm. See, we are polite, I mean, I don’t know when they’re gonna wake up from a shot like that, but they should wake up.”
The time had come.
“…is gonna get killed. Then I kill Rick in front of everybody, and we move on. You have three, count’em, three minutes to open this gate!”
No matter how much he thought about it -and Carl considered himself experienced enough-, he wasn’t ready to die, but there was no escape.
He gave the instructions of his plan to Michonne, Rosita and Daryl.
“Keep going, there’s gonna be people in there, they’re gonna need your help.” Carl said, getting an affirmative nod from Tobin.
Tara came up to him.
“We’ve got guns, we can fight them!”
Rosita shook her head.
“We will, but not now, Carl’s right,”
The damn whistling was keeping them on their toes.
Michonne’s voice made him turn to her.
“We can’t let them have this place.” She hissed.
“We can. All we need to do is survive tonight,” Carl went on, his tone firm despite the shivers he felt running down his back. “This is my show, you said it, this is my plan, and you’re gonna do it. You’re all gonna do it. So, let’s go!”
Negan’s augmented voice warned Carl as everyone went in the opposite direction.
“One minute! One. Minute.”
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
“All you had to do was follow some simple rules, but now? Well, now I see that you got to go!” Negan exclaimed into the microphone as he paced between his men, feeling his dormant fury go up at being ignored. “Scorched earth, you dick!”
“He’s not home.”
The sound of dozens of guns being cocked up at that young voice made Negan turn as well.
“Oh-ho-holy shit! Everybody hold you fire. It’s Carl. Look at you, answering the door like a big boy. I’m so proud. Daddy’s not home, huh?”
Negan did feel proud, the kid was short of eighteen, and he was facing him. “Well, I guess he’s gonna get back to a big old smoky surprise.”
Carl did not back down, the boy was made from fucking steel.
“There’s families here. My little sister.”
Anger shot through Negan. There were families at the Sanctuary too, people had to be put down after the stunt Rick and his merry band of survivors had put them through.
“Well, that shit just breaks my heart,” the community leader mocked. “There’s kids at the Sanctuary, you must have seen them. Even had a little baby at one of the of the outposts,” Negan growled, remembering little Gracie, who was a few months younger than Abby. “I wonder what happened to her…”
Putting down the mic, Negan looked at Carl in the eye, trying to make him understand his own fury, while gripping Lucille to stop himself from giving some reckless order. “None of this shit is fair, kid. Hell, you know that, you had to kill your own mom. That’s screwed up,”
Silence answered his words.
“Ergo, we need someone in charge who’s willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that shit doesn’t happen!” Negan stepped back, doing a half turn. “Oh, wait!” he turned back to Carl, opening his arms. “That’s me!”
“Bad stuff does happen, but we can figure this out. We can stop this.” Carl argued breathily, and Negan noticed.
The boy sure as hell did not fear him, what the hell was up with that?
“Oh, now you wanna talk? See, your dad had it that I had to die no matter what. He gave my people a choice, not me,” and there it was, Carl’s lower lip quivered. “Now we’re gonna need a new understanding. Apologies, punishm-”
“Kill me!” Carl interrupted, trying not to let desperation taint his voice.
And Negan stopped.
Anger gave way to incredulity as he walked forward. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. What this kid had just offered.
“What did you say?”
“If you have to kill someone, if there has to be punishment…Kill me. I’m serious.”
A twinge of anguish made Negan hesitate with an imperceptible gesture, and the former teacher felt grateful for the relative darkness. He liked Carl, he respected the kid, and he didn’t want Carl Grimes to die.
“You wanna die?” he teased, smiling when he felt like screaming at the boy.
“No, I don’t but I will. It’s gonna happen,” Carl paused, his one eye avoiding Negan’s gaze. “And i-if me dying could stop this, if it can make things different…for us, for you,” the boy looked at him now, his eye piercing and serious. “For all those kids…it’d be worth it,”
It was Negan’s turn to look down, unable to speak for a few seconds. The leader of the Saviors gave Carl a sideways look, waiting for the boy to continue.
“I mean, was this the plan? Was it supposed to be this way?… Is this what you wanted to be?”
A long, frustrated sigh left Negan, as he reigned in his anger and worry for Carl’s nobly foolish intentions; he was ready to blast him with a sermon of epic proportions when the sound of a distant crash made some of his men jump.
Fuck.
The Alexandrians were escaping while Carl entertained him! Even worse, the kid was nowhere to be seen!
“Son of a bitch, Carl! Was that just a play?! I thought we were having a moment, you little shit!” Negan turned to his men, signaling for them to draw before losing it with an enraged shout. “Bombs away!”
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
Tory was standing beside the window, looking east, trying to discern anything in the inky darkness of the night.
“You’d know if something was wrong, Tory.” Vera reminded her, giving her arm a meaningful look.
The young woman nodded, but she didn’t feel confident. A nagging feeling had been with her for hours, like something was going terribly wrong. Of course, it could have been simple paranoia after the multiple attacks she’d suffered in the span of half a year.
“Do you think Tanya would lend us her Monopoly?” Tory said, instead of voicing her feelings, there was nothing to be done for them. “We can wait it out.”
Vera smiled. “Let’s call Martha too.”
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
Negan had ordered his men to look for Carl and bring him in alive. He also made sure to leave Tory’s former home intact, hoping it would be a pleasant surprise amongst the smoldering ruin that Alexandria was bound to become in the next few hours.
Waiting for Rick in the darkness of his home wasn’t the long game Negan had anticipated.
The poor idiot had come soon after he’d found a hiding place, stage screaming for Michonne and Carl and Judith, with a gun in his hands.
That worry would serve him well.
Negan pounded Rick’s arms, making the man throw his gun to the floor from the impact, leaving him baffled and with his guard down.
A hit to the stomach proved much more satisfying when Rick gasped in pain.
“This shit isn’t funny anymore.” Negan growled, hitting the former sheriff once more, enjoying his pained shout as he took away his knife. “Don’t make me do this, Rick. I got plans for you, cut you up in little pieces, feed you to the dead and make you watch,”
Negan let Lucille fall over, while Rick rolled away with wide eyes, dragging himself up.
“When you’re a screwed up, creepy stump with a head…,” breathing in, Negan tried another blow that Rick sidestepped, falling on the dining room table and onto the floor, panting with the effort. “That’s when I’m gonna kill ya’,” Negan panted. “In front of everybody.”
Rick snorted in derision.
“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” he demanded.
“Nope!” Negan brought both of his arms up to hit Rick again, but he failed, and the sound of wood-on-wood rang in his ears for a few seconds, while they both circled the damned table.
“You know your kid volunteered to die? What kind of boy did you rise, Rick? I’m gonna fix him, ‘cause I like him. A few years and he’ll be one of my top guys,”
The fucking bastard dared hit him and Negan hit back, pushing Rick against the wall and hitting some side-table on the way. Rick was on the floor and Negan saw his chance.
“When I’m done with you, nobody will ever try to do what you did, not ever again! Not your friends…not your son…” Negan leaned in -stupidly, in hindsight- and Rick seized the opportunity to nail him with a fucking metal cup.
In the height of disrespect, the son of a bitch dared grab Lucille and try to hit Negan with her.
“Don’t you touch her!” he ordered with a savage growl, kicking Rick in the stomach, then in the chest as he was doubled over in pain. Rick still reached for the gun under the table and Negan wasn’t even aware as he threw him out of the window.
“Shit.” He whispered, furious with himself for failing.
He’d made a promise to go back, damn it all.
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
Hours earlier
Alexandria, VA.
Carl sighed as he closed the last letter. He wasn’t feeling the fever yet, but it wasn’t far away.
Knowing that he had a few hours left, Carl realized that he didn’t want to die. He had reasons to live.
He had a family, a girlfriend and a whole future ahead of himself. Sure, he would never be a cop like his dad, the world of now wasn’t a place for laws like those they had before.
People had changed.
So had Carl.
It was the whole reason to help Siddiq into the safe zone. To give something back.
The Grimes boy didn’t believe in hell or heaven, he’d been too young when the world had ‘ended’ to understand all of Sunday school.
However, he liked the idea Siddiq had given him, to be put down was eternal rest for a lost soul.
There lay the conundrum he now had.
He couldn’t ask his dad to do it, nor could he ask Michonne, even hardened, world wise Daryl would hesitate to use the gun on him.
So, Carl planned the strategy to defend Alexandria and told Siddiq to stay hidden until everyone decided it was safe to leave, until after the siege by the saviors.
“Can you give these to my dad?” he asked the almost doctor.
Siddiq’s brown eyes looked at him, trying to understand his motives, Carl looked away.
“Okay.”
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
Now
Carl didn’t know where he was.
He had been walking for hours after slinking away from Alexandria, not even making sure everyone was safe.
He had to trust them.
The night had given way to dawn as he walked a long, seemingly endless road, covered in leaves and dirt.
“Keep going, baby.” A voice whispered in his ear. It sounded eerily like his mom, and Carl cursed Negan for reminding him what he had done to her.
Tears leaked from his eye as Carl kept going, looking for a place to rest and wait for the inevitable.
After hours of walking and crying, Carl saw something in the distance.
A gate.
Was he hallucinating? It was a probability, he had never asked anyone if they knew what happen when you were bitten, and the ones actually qualified to answer could only moan and try to bite you.
Maybe he was delirious, because Carl heard voices raise in alarm as he stumbled his way to the rustic wooden gate.
He stood stupidly, waiting to see if the gate opened for him. the day was clear and hot, and the light of the sun felt so good in his clammy skin.
Carl wished he could drink some cold water.
He never noticed the arms surrounding him and bringing him inside the gate, into the walls of the community.
Between lucidity and unconsciousness, Carl heard a kind voice call to him.
(I can’t actually remember if I’ve submitted this part already or not but I didn’t see it posted so hey ho)
Action and shooty things woo~
-
“So much for having the element of surprise,” Gum commented just after the gate closed, the sound echoing through the compound.
River reached for his weapon, “Well if we haven’t got that then we’ll have to move fast,” he said as they advanced forward. “I reckon the large building straight ahead is our best bet. Any objections?”
Neamhni was about to reply as he pulled the cigarette from between his lips, but he was shocked when he heard the sound of a gunshot, coinciding with the cigarette being forcefully pulled from his fingers.
Somebody had just shot the smoke right from his hand with perfect precision. He didn’t even have time to wonder if it had been a warning shot or if it had missed its real target, because River was then shouting at them.
“Take cover!”
It was just as they all dived behind a shipping container that a wave of bullets swept over the area around them. There was no way this was just Nihil, there had to be several people firing at them. What was going on?
“How many of them are there?” Tarragon asked over the sound of bullets ricocheting off of the container.
River closed his eyes for a moment, “I can’t tell, anywhere between five and ten probably.”
“How much ammo do you reckon they have?” Gray asked, wondering if they could wait it out until they needed to reload.
“Enough to keep us where they want before striking,” Neamhni said. “We can’t afford to sit and wait.” He held Umbra tight in his grasp, and in a daring move, quickly looked out from the side of the container when he heard a break in one line of fire. Before he’d been able to shoot anything though, he’d had to dive back, a bullet skimming his arm.
Neamhni grunted and looked down where his shirt had been torn, and saw a small speck of blood. He was losing his patience pretty quickly. “There’s too many of them,” he ground out through his teeth.
“God, and you call me reckless,” Gray commented, narrowing his eyes at the graze.
“What do we do?” Tarragon asked while River was deep in thought. “We can’t stay here.”
Gum looked over at her team mate, “Neamhni, how do you reckon Spectre would go out here?”
The man looked up, “Pretty useless, the sun is right above us. I don’t have enough of a shadow.”
Gray’s eyes then looked up to the line of trees that surrounded the compound, even though he couldn’t see what he was looking for. “Nige,” he said through his communicator. “We’re under fire, can you see any of the shooters?”
Nigel was sprawled across a tree branch, feeling very much in his element as he looked down the scope of his rifle. “I’ve been trying to figure out where they’re hiding. Best bet would probably be that red brick building to the west of your position. Could you hit em’ with a shockwave?”
Gray couldn’t see it now, but he remembered spotting the building when they walked in. It had some high windows at the top where they could likely be hiding, but it would only be a guess. “I need to know for sure that they’re there, I’m not using it for nothing.”
“I’m too far away to tell. We need someone to take a closer look,” Nigel suggested through the ear piece.
“I’ll do it!” Jasper’s voice chirped through the comms, but Nigel quickly shut him down.
“No Jas, your red hair will stand out ridiculously in the trees, stay where you are.” He was stationed by the road to notify them if anyone were headed towards the compound, but it was obvious he wanted in on the action.
“Where are the boys?” Gray asked.
“We’re on the eastern side,” Unum said, “But it looks like there’s movement from back here, too. You’re about to have more company.”
Just as Nigel and Gray both cursed simultaneously, Jenna’s breathy voice sounded through the communicator, as if she had just been running. “I see them.” She’d been positioned on the western side of the compound, but she hadn’t been anywhere near them-
“Top floor of the brick building. Nige, aim for the last two windows, I guarantee you’ll hit at least one of them.”
Not even taking a moment to scold Jenna for possibly getting herself caught by the shooters, Nige lined up the shot to one of the windows. “I’m taking it.”
“Go for it!” Was River’s response through the comms, and so Nigel grinned, and pulled the trigger.
As soon as a shot from the sniper rifle sounded in their ears, they knew Nigel had gotten one of them. Neamhni and River shared a quick glance before they jumped up and loaded dust rounds into their weapons, as another shot was heard.
“Damn it! The others moved, I only got two of them,” Nigel said, sounding apologetic.
“That’s all we needed!” River replied, because now their enemy were two shooters down, and they’d been caught by surprise, which gave him and Neamhni the perfect opening.
The two men jumped out from either side of the container and fired their dust rounds, causing several of the windows to shatter as they exploded.
“Guys you’ve got half a dozen coming from the eastern side!” Duos announced through the comms.
Neamhni and River quickly looked back to the rest of their team for a moment, but Gum waved them off. “You two close in on the remaining shooters, I have an idea for these guys.”
River nodded, “Meet you inside?”
“Deal!” Tarragon said, before the team split up. River and Neamhni took off towards the brick building, where the remaining shooters had taken cover, while Gum, Gray and Tarragon headed the other way.
It was as they were running that Gum glanced to Gray, “How loud do you yell when you use your shockwave?”
Gray looked a little confused, but responded none the less as they stopped behind another shipping container. “However loud I want to.”
Gum was grinning, then. “Excellent, this’ll be easy.”
thinking a lot about that last "i'm still here" in part 79. it's text, so all inflection is interpreted, but i just imagine shane's voice with this... desperate, incredulous tone. like he can't believe they're gone. there's that implied, "but I'M still here." he's never even thought of a life without them. why would he? they're the only constant in his tumultuous life.
but now....
YES
UGH 😭
I truly think that a part of him died that day and he'll never get it back, that life doesn't makes any sense to him anymore
The "for uncle shane" drawing on the wall is so cute it breaks my heart. But they also look like potatoes. So now when i think about the accident with Jas' parents, can't help but think they "got mashed". Like potatoes. Yeah.
TOO SOON 😭😭😭
Little appreciation for my wall of despair
They're totally meant to look like potatoes but I hadn't thought about the implications
Fun fact I got the idea to add the pictures after planning the part, cause I thought the zoom out wasn't sad enough 😬 haha..
