#part chatter

[dissociated-and-tired]

Was looking through our journal and found a really lovely sentiment from one of the parts, felt like sharing (with permissions)

"I don't think love is about perfection. I think it's about feeling safe enough to be flawed without guilt. It's about having the safety to express yourself without feeling the need to justify, apologise or explain away those flawed parts"

There's something really lovely about this idea, and I'm gonna try to remember it. A bit of hope we all need.

A lot of us are flawed parts, and maybe love is not feeling like we should be apologising for being imperfect...

- Blurred Blob

[dissociated-and-tired]

Fronting Dynamic: 22 & 7

22 is our Work Cephalon, he's the one always working, they're good at it and only seem to care about getting our job done and done well on top of being good with the customers they get a lot done

7 used to be the one that was working, usually when someone else tapped out from stress. He is efficient but apathetic so his social skills weren't so great.

The two of them is efficiency squared but also exhausted and apathetic, flip a coin per customer if it's going to be good customer service™️ or apathetic and tired™️

[dissociated-and-tired]

Fronting Dynamics: 22 & Anyone 20

22 is lovingly and only known as Work Cephalon, which is a title over a name, who seems content to command the front and only at our work. They have made such an impression on our bosses in their short time.

Granted there's usually some background influence from more social parts to help but never co fronting with Work Ceph.

Until today, when he's co with 20. Who is not only super emotional and vulnerable today, is also, not particularly strict at our work (on our phone, not overly friendly to customers etc) don't get me wrong he's not bad at our job, he's just comparitively lacking discipline like 22?

So cut to working while 22 is trying to be the proactive good employee™️ all with 20 clinging to them wailing about how mean they were in the morning to bf and how bf hates them and how everything sucks and how he wants to die and how we'd be better off dead and such depressive things. And 22 is just sat there begging him to let them work

It is kind of hilarious because 20 really isn't in a good place and needs support for sure at the moment, but still decided the person to support him in this moment is the one trying to work.

I think neither of them planned this and that makes it funnier

[dissociated-and-tired]

I don't know who was at work most of today, only that they are very good at it, hard-working, professional and friendly. Apparently our boss has taken notice of this change. Which is great because we need to be showing how good we can be if we stand any hope of getting full time paid hours...

I don't know who I am either, only that I'm totally exhausted from the work cephalon's immense enthusiasm, but I can't even rest well because my heart is going so fast, and because of the pain in our joints...

So thank you Work Cephalon for being good at our job but also I'm so freaking tried now... Also ouch

[dissociated-and-tired]

Kinda feeling like following the trend of parts who've changed their names. Like, I swear just about everyone has changed names at least once... Idk what I'd change it to even, just thinking about it of late

- 1

[dissociated-and-tired]

A letter to 20

I know how much it must hurt to feel the weight of this life so squarely on your shoulders and then to have those around you resent you for being 'preferred' or 'the default'. I know that they resent the amount of time out you have, like it's a choice any of us make.

I know it can feel like the world's against you and those you should rely on only serve to make you feel more alone. Like it's you Vs them.

It's easy to despair and to point the finger at you, and not those around us that serve to make other parts feel like they're unwanted in comparison.

It may not feel like it now but we're a team, even if there are those that dislike you, resent you, wish they could be in your place.

There will always be someone to support you I'm sure of it, because I'm here and I'll support you even if your closest friends within the system won't.

Much love, from 1

[dissociated-and-tired]

Interesting Fronting Dynamic: 7 & 20

7 spent most of his day at work trying to support a co-worker, despite claiming to not be attached to people he switched in not only to help out a triggered part but to try and help said co-worker. He would very much like to sleep.

20 meanwhile is banging pots and pans together and writing fanfiction because it's 3.30am and that's the best time for this clearly.

Rip to 7.

[dissociated-and-tired]

Sometimes we get really anxious about how our boyfriend will manage dealing with all of our different parts, especially the ones like me (younger ones) but tonight seeing him curled up asleep, protectively holding my favourite cuddly toy

Keeping him safe while I'm awake and he's asleep

I think we're gonna be ok. He gets it.