#parttimemommy

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There is no such thing as being lonely when there is a toddler in the house.

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Getting sick and feeling guilty.

Super mom, we've heard of her. The chick that keeps the house immaculate, cooks only the best meals made from all local organic ingredients, always looks done up and of course, nothing slows her down. Not even illness.

Well, here is how my morning started.

Between the cold weather and being a preschool teacher, something got to me and I've been out of commission the past two days. I wake up this morning with no voice and coughing so much I truly expect bits of lung to spring out of me. The little one, also a bit under the weather, wanted to read books and snuggle for a while, which fit perfectly with my own desires of laying in bed and snuggling on our Sunday morning. After a while, however, it was tea party time. So we get up to have a tea party, and I'm coughing away so violently that I begin to feel sick. I make my way to the bathroom to throw up, loud and violently and poor Fiona is standing in the doorway screaming "Alli, Stop!". By the time this fiasco was complete and she had stopped crying in fear of what she had just witnessed, I was uninvited from the tea party and she took to hiding out in her room for an hour and I crawled back into bed.

I don't feel well.

Maybe that Super mom stuff doesn't come around until later, like when I've actually had a child. Maybe I'm missing the Super Woman gene, maybe I'm just secretly a big baby or semi-lazy - but I'm sick and don't feel like doing a thing. Unfortunately, life doesn't stop or feel the pity I wish it did when I'm under the weather. Luckily, Jordan insists I get better and tells me to rest and doesn't really expect much of me, but still, I feel guilty.

There are things to be done around here and well, I don't really feel like doing them. I try, I do. But it is exhausting me and then I'm back to feeling like an unproductive bum on the couch or in bed. Am I the only one that feels a bit guilty when unloading and loading the dishwasher seems like a much larger task than it is when sick and would prefer to put it off? Surely I can't be... but still, I feel guilty sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me gasping for air as I cough instead of sweeping and mopping...

Am I alone?

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I don't know how anyone else feels about all this cold weather, but we are ready for snoball season again.

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GIRL DATE!

Girl dates are pretty special for us. Not like we do anything special so much as the actual time together is what makes it special. There was one particular highlight during our girl date today...

Now, although it may be debatable, I firmly believe that the Red Hot Chili Peppers Pandora station is all you need, Jordan thinks otherwise. Imagine my excitement to see her dancing her little toosh off when I walked into the living room. We had a dance party, shook our booties, acted goofy and then sat down and enjoyed lunch together. 

This little girl is getting so big...

We also "planted a wall garden" in her bedroom...

Girls just wanna have fun...

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Timing

Being a family lady means waking up at 7am to do all the laundry.

It means folding minnie mouse panties and washing sippie cups.

It means organizing play areas and making beds.

Its means the order of the house lasting only but a moment before it starts all over.

I'm ok with this.

I was once told if the house is a little messy and not all the laundry is done, it means you are doing something right.

And that stuck with me. 

I could take it as a fine excuse to never have a clean home, which I will admit it can start to look rough around Thursday, but I see it another way. It reminds me of my priorities. Where does my focus and energy belong? With my family. I could pull my hair out trying to keep a magazine cover worthy home despite having a toddler running around, but instead, I pull my hair out trying to keep up with her. 

Enjoy your family. Enjoy your kids. Revel in their wonder and exploration. Bask in watching them learn and play and experience. 

Laying on the floor playing with her is far more enjoyable than doing dishes and it's also more rewarding. But since she is with her mom today... It's a 7am Saturday and time to put this house back in order.

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Fiona at the park.

On most days, there is a point at which my heart and all the world freezes. The moment is real and I wonder how this sweet little girl can steal my heart the way she does.

Then its like, duh... look at her.

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Fall Festivities

Fall - a time of leaves changing, costume hunting, candy consumption and family picture madness. Everyone is scrambling not only to get seasonal photos, but the most adorable seasonal photos anyone has ever seen, no matter what it takes. At least, that is how it seemed at the pumpkin patch.

We took Fiona to a great local place on the Northshore, Mrs. Heathers, to get a pumpkin and yes, adorable fall photos in the beautiful dress her Granny made her. I want to take this opportunity to thank Mrs. Heather for providing such a great place for families! It is not your typical pumpkin patch on a corner with pumpkins on a pallet, it is an actual patch. She's got great things for the kids to play on and enjoy, a trail, cotton and corn fields, animals, and of course, an awesome pumpkin patch! Check out her website and if you are in the area next fall, give her a visit!

Anyway, we had a blast, and Fiona was quick to find something she loved and spent about 45 minutes total going to a from these neat swings made out of recycled tires. 

This little girl has a mind of her own, so we pretty much followed her lead and let her enjoy herself for the day. It was obvious pretty quickly she was not going to do any sit down and pose photos, luckily, i love taking candid shots as opposed to fake smile staged photos. 

We had a great time looking at the donkeys, cows and horses they have!

This is what I get when I ask this cutie to smile a million times...

Exploring the corn fields!

And finally, the hunt for the perfect pumpkin.

We even got a nice stranger to take a picture of all three of us. Finally, a family photo! Not the best family photo, but hey, we are all in one frame and my arm isn't awkwardly in the way from holding the camera above our heads. 

I hope you all enjoyed your pumpkin hunting this season and got those adorable photos you wanted. A pro tip from a photographer: Angrily screaming "SMILE JOEY, LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HAPPY! I SAID SMILE OR NO PUMPKIN!!" typically yields unsuccessful results. If you're kid isn't in the mood to pose, or smile, don't force it. Most of all because you look crazy violently yelling at your child to be happy in public, but also because they will probably cry instead of smile. I love taking candid photos over all the staged stuff. It's those real moments that mean the most, not a fake smile by a goofy scarecrow.

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Nap time Battles

I think it is understood by all that this can be a trying part of your day. When I first started teaching, I thought it was incredible that I could lay 18 kids down at the same time and they would all go to sleep, well, most of them. Parents would mention how they didn't understand it because their child would never nap at home. Home and school, even with routine, seem to have some weird differing dynamic. Basically, teachers have magic powers and we will always be able to get your kids to do things you can't. 

Now, I'm on the other side.

I just put Fiona down for nap not too long ago. Not easily. She will fight nap no matter how tired she is lately. When she was younger, she would say "I go night night" and ask for nap or she would lay down on her own when we put her down. I know, it was too good to be true.

Along with growing up comes that discovery of free will I've talked about in a previous post. She doesn't want to go night-night and she will do what she can not to, no matter how exhausted she is. Today was a bit fussy; I tried laying in bed with her and rubbing her back, which typically does the trick. Not today. She was a fuss bucket, screaming, crying and kicking those little toes of hers all over.

And this is when parents seem to divide on nap. 

Do you try and calm them down and lay with them, or do you leave and let them cry themselves to sleep. Maybe the division on this lies more with younger children than older ones, I'm not positive but here is how we do it.

Jordan made sure I knew early on, there is a difference in the cries. Some cries are 'I'm scared', 'Something hurts me' or 'YOU GUYS FORGOT TO GIVE ME BEAR!!!'. Other cries are more of a 'I don't want to go to sleep, get back in here and help me stay awake.' I hate seeing her cry, even if I know it is only because she is trying to stay awake. It hurts my heart to hear her upset over anything, but, I know that as a parent, giving in is the worst thing you can do. So we let her cry. We don't leave at the sight of a tear or the sound of a fuss, but if she is persistent in screaming for the sake of screaming, we tell her night-night, give her a kiss and tell her we love her and that we will see her after nap. 

Techniques we use to avoid the nap time meltdowns...

Ease into it. We usually try to read a story or talk about our day so far and how we need to rest so we can have more fun later.  Rubbing. Rubbing her back or her hair is a soothing way to relax her and try and get her to stay still. She loves it, she lays on her little tummy and the yawns usually start rolling in shortly after.

Music. Pandora nap time music is a gift. We usually use the Rockabye Baby station or Carbon Based Lifeforms to set a relaxing vibe for her room.

Keep it dark. Nap time is hard when bright light is pouring into the bedroom. Get some good curtains to block that nonsense out!

The bedroom is for sleeping, not playing. We do not have toys in her bedroom. We think it would be too much temptation for her to get out of bed more than she already does. She has a fun little corner in the living room with all of her toys where she can have tons of fun during the day. We have a few nighttime books and stuffed animals in there, and that is it.

If all these fail, maybe leaving the room and not participating in the 'I must stay awake' scream festival is the route to go. Like I said, I hate leaving her in tears, but part of parenting is being strong. My dad says it's called tough love. Giving in to your child now only strengthens that bad habit of screaming to get what they want. Whether it be staying up and not napping or getting an extra cookie. Always remember that you are helping this little person grow into a functional adult one day and everything you do now is building their foundation of who they will be.

I promise, they sleep eventually, and its adorable.