Part Time Mommy

The learning experiences and confessions of becoming a family woman.

[emergentfutures]

It costs more to house a detainee on Manus Island for a day than a night at 5-star Sydney hotel

Full Story: The Age

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Sometimes I get these big ideas about wanting to change the world, to experience the world. These fantasies of travelling to all ends of the earth, never knowing what my next day may bring. Sleeping in hostels, making friends with locals of another language, trying foods I have never heard of before and toting my camera all the way. A part of me wishes I could have those experiences while I am still young and carefree. Unfortunatley, I am not wntirely carefree anymore. This little one's world is more important to me than my daydreams. As long as I am changing her world, I'm good. That art she is so proud of is her water color painting of herself, her papa and I. And apparently there is a baby in there too. I love seeing her so proud.

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I recently found an old Shel Silverstein book of mine tucked away in the massivr library this girl has. I loved these reads and the art when I was younger. We decided this would be perfect pre-bedtime reading to wind down with. They are nice and short, always different and fun goofy stories to get her imagination fired up before slipping into her dreams for the night.

Do you have a special bedtime routine or ritual in your house?

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The kiddo has been back in school part-time for a while now. I am lucky enough to work in the same building and get to see her ocassionally in passing and steal kisses. I know she is in great hands and I am here if anything were ever to happen; not many get that luxury, so I can count my lucky stars for this.

I am also lucky enough to still have mornings with her Thursday and Friday before I go back to work. Man, do I cherish these mornings. Sometimes we do the park, or some learning. Other times we sneak in a quick swim and lunch by the pool while we listen to some jazz ( the kid loves jazz!). Today, we just had fun. We walked the dog…and she bribed her with a trip to chuck e cheese if she pooped, which worked. We painted her nails, we played with the pup, had a dance party, had a morning snack and we pretended to be super heroes. By the way, her super powers are firing teal and pink chevron lazers at the bad guys.. keeping everything safe and fashionable at the same time.

It is important to have fun, and we are pretty much pros at that.

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There is no such thing as being lonely when there is a toddler in the house.

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Mother's Day as a step mom...

Today can be an uncomfortable day for many step mothers... do you get celebrated, do you get hurt if you aren't thanked for all of the motherly duties you have taken on? It is a very grey area. Men, you have your work cut out for you having to manage us women and our feelings, especially is birth mom is also around as well...

Here it is, laid out short, sweet and honest.

Loving a child that is not your own is a task many cannot take on. Marriage may make you a stepparent by law, but being a step mother is different. If the woman in your life has embraced the task of loving, caring for and helping raise your little one, thank her. It is hard. It is a life changer; it causes us to change our behavior, ways of thinking and living and probably cuts into our wine intake and shoe shopping (ok, thats an easy trade off). If you have found a woman to help your child go through life, and is walking the journey with them - celebrate that! Going from single life to part time mom can be a bit of culture shock, and a forever learning experience. So step moms... those women that chose to take on loving another woman's child, Happy Mother's Day. You are a superhero and you deserve to be thanked!

And if you still aren't sure... send stepmom on a week long vacation at the beach with some wine and live life without her for a week. The amount of work we put in will be clear... and we could all use a week long beach vacation...and wine, lots of wine.

[parttimemomma-blog]

Missing you...

I recently spent a month at home. Everyday was spent teaching the little one. We went to the park all the time, we did library play dates, we learned, we laughed and we cried together. It was a great month that I wish could have lasted forever. Granted, I was not working and the budget was tight and it got a little stressful at times. The stress, I could do without, but the time...I want it back.

I'm working again, and she is back in school, and papa is taking on a new design job. Things are getting back to normal for us. I'm so happy for our family because it seems like that month away from work sent our family into a great direction. All of us can benefit from heading in a better, more clear direction. There is just one thing... I miss her.

I miss our days together. I miss sitting by the lake watching her play in the water. I miss her goofy smile. I miss her walking the dog. I miss tucking her in at nap and even fighting with her about nap. I miss all the snuggles and giggles and cuddles and hugs and kisses and tantrums and all. I miss everything about that month because we all had so much time together. I recently was looking at some old photos from about a year ago and this girl is just a weed. She is growing so quickly and we don't want to miss any of it. Selfishly, we want to keep her all to ourselves so we can watch her grow up before our eyes, right there in front of us. But part of her growing is letting her go, and that means missing her.

It is really hard to send her off to school some days, especially when she is sad about leaving us. And nothing makes you feel worse than a kid trying to hold back the tears because you are leaving them on their own. The only way to get past that heart breaking lip quiver and single tear down the cheek is to know that she is going to enjoy her day. I let the teacher in me take over, because I have seen kids time and time again stop crying literally the second their parents leave. So I know she will survive the sadness... but it still hurts.

Today, she gave me some peace. As we left school she grabbed my hand and said "I had a good day. I like my school." I picked her up and gave her a big kiss and said "Well, then I like your school too." And we smiled and then she asked me to put her down because I give her too many hugs and kisses after school.

This little girl is growing up, and becoming so smart and independent. As much as I miss her, I could not be more proud of the little lady she is becoming.

A year ago, a tiny little ball of wonder. She is still a ball of wonder, just with a bit more hair.

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I have dreams for you sweet girl.

As technology improves, stay in touch with nature.

Do not lose your curiosity.

Never settle.

Work hard, It will pay off. 

Remember that nothing worth having comes easily. If it came easily, keep moving because that's not where you're supposed to stop.

As families grow, so will your heart.

When times are hard, keep your chin up and push on.

Do not expect hand outs.

Continue to be the independent little lady you are.

When everyone else is on the same path, create your own.

Be the change in the world that you see needed.

Always remember, you matter.

Be strong in mind and heart.

Never forget how much we love you.

Make your own future little girl. We believe in you.

“She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.” ― Elizabeth Edwards

[parttimemomma-blog]

We are all about Spring this year! It is such a great time for learning! In a previous post, I mentioned we were giving our backyard a face lift with a garden. Well, today, we went and bought some flowers that will attract butterflies. For art we made some flowers and she practiced writing the letter f. We tried writing flowers but she stopped at e (so close!). While doing art we watched a short film called “moving art: flowers”. It is on Netflix and really cool. Shows all sorts of flowers in bloom with some good music to go with it. She loved it.

It is so great seeing her get excited about her garden!

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The depth of a father's love shows in his daughter's eyes.

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I recently started writing for The Northshore Parent and this was my first piece. I'm really excited to start something new and connect with other families in the area.

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Perks of being in between jobs, this girl. Spending my days with her watching her learn and grow is the best thing I could ask for. Bonus, it is Spring and the weather is awesome so we can go chase birds like, every single day.

I don’t want it to end…

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Oh, the places you'll go...

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Me calling out to suspicious silence: " Fiona, what are you doing?" Fiona: "Nothing. I'm cute!" Yea you are.

[allisonbadely-blog]

As far as parading goes, Mardi Gras ‘14 was a bust.

As far as having an awesome day together, today was a win.

We celebrated in our own way today with arts and crafts, some movie time and some all around goofiness. We also braved chuck e cheese, which was making a killing on this rainy mardi gras!

One of the crafts we did was bubblewrap painting. I decided to make a scrapbook of her art as she ages and give it to her at some point in her adult life. With this particular piece, I decided to write a little something about the holiday since it was her first year experiencing mardi gras.

We hope everyone had a blast and is ready to rejoin the real world tomorrow.

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I accidentally posted to my other blog :/

Anyways, here is my mardi gras post!

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A Louisiana Snow Day! Sure, it may not look like much to a lot of other people in the country, but to us, this ice is pretty fantastical!

Also, it was little one's first time seeing anything like this, so she had an absolute blast with it! She sat by the window all day yesterday saying "Come on Snow!" 

Happy Winter everyone :)

[parttimemomma-blog]

Getting sick and feeling guilty.

Super mom, we've heard of her. The chick that keeps the house immaculate, cooks only the best meals made from all local organic ingredients, always looks done up and of course, nothing slows her down. Not even illness.

Well, here is how my morning started.

Between the cold weather and being a preschool teacher, something got to me and I've been out of commission the past two days. I wake up this morning with no voice and coughing so much I truly expect bits of lung to spring out of me. The little one, also a bit under the weather, wanted to read books and snuggle for a while, which fit perfectly with my own desires of laying in bed and snuggling on our Sunday morning. After a while, however, it was tea party time. So we get up to have a tea party, and I'm coughing away so violently that I begin to feel sick. I make my way to the bathroom to throw up, loud and violently and poor Fiona is standing in the doorway screaming "Alli, Stop!". By the time this fiasco was complete and she had stopped crying in fear of what she had just witnessed, I was uninvited from the tea party and she took to hiding out in her room for an hour and I crawled back into bed.

I don't feel well.

Maybe that Super mom stuff doesn't come around until later, like when I've actually had a child. Maybe I'm missing the Super Woman gene, maybe I'm just secretly a big baby or semi-lazy - but I'm sick and don't feel like doing a thing. Unfortunately, life doesn't stop or feel the pity I wish it did when I'm under the weather. Luckily, Jordan insists I get better and tells me to rest and doesn't really expect much of me, but still, I feel guilty.

There are things to be done around here and well, I don't really feel like doing them. I try, I do. But it is exhausting me and then I'm back to feeling like an unproductive bum on the couch or in bed. Am I the only one that feels a bit guilty when unloading and loading the dishwasher seems like a much larger task than it is when sick and would prefer to put it off? Surely I can't be... but still, I feel guilty sitting here with a blanket wrapped around me gasping for air as I cough instead of sweeping and mopping...

Am I alone?